Dating apps are essentially auction houses

Lift_and_Lurk · 2025-09-09T15:07:38+00:00

I’m sorry but what auction house is like you described?

“I’m going to bid on Everything” no one at auctions

Clean-Luck6428 · 2025-09-09T16:52:40+00:00

Dating apps are designed to give insecure women the illusion that they can pick from a soft harem when most of their matches are men who suicide swiped on them and the ones genuinely interested in going on a date rarely like the girl enough for a long term relationship.

People like to argue that the apps are the way they are due to fundamental differences in sexuality between the sexes when the app design and gender ratio are far more relevant than pseudoscience evolutionary biological differences explanations for dating app outcomes (especially ridiculous hypothesis when you make the simple observation that dating apps have not had these same outcomes even just prior to COVID).

The average woman on the app is way more below average relative to her female peers in her ability to attract a mate vs the average man relative to his peers on the apps. Women generally are more socially connected and have greater agency to find partners outside apps than men, so their presence on the app is a greater indicator of her ineptitude than the average man.

Thus you get more attention seeking behavior from women on apps vs men. The woman is almost already humiliated by being on the app in the first place so role playing as a HVW with a soft harem of men to pick from is a good way to attract female users who feel humiliated by their lack of success irl

When using the metric “have you found a committed LTR via the apps” men outperform women by about 10%. By this metric, men do better on the apps than women but it doesn’t seem that way because men rarely get matches or dates. But of the few matches men do get, their batting average at converting that into an LTR is better than women. The ratio of matches converted to LTRs is orders of magnitudes better for men than women

IgorXY · 2025-09-09T15:38:53+00:00

Men looks for reasons to like women, women look for reasons to dislike men.

wtknight · 2025-09-09T15:30:27+00:00

Women will openly say that men need to add something to their lives. I don’t think that women are as mercenary as you make them out to be, though. They do want emotional connections, and they are trying to match with men whom may give them that emotional connection. Yes, there are some women who only want casual sex or who are gold diggers on dating apps, but I think that the majority of women who use them are actually trying to find good relationships that involve emotional connections.

Lemon_gecko · 2025-09-09T15:04:29+00:00

You can't say what it is for men without knowing how they actually act. If i were to listen how men think they act i would imagine absolutely different picture from what i actually see. Men love to think that they are putting all the effort, they are doing everything they can (most of them anyway) and it's only women who make it difficult, men are not to blame, but in reality it is simply not the case.

wyllowysp · 2025-09-09T15:20:15+00:00

There are so many men on dating apps that it's difficult to screen through. When I was still dating, I did not look for how much money he made or his assets. I just wanted him to have a car so I wouldn't have to do all the driving. I don't like that. What I DID look for was personality, and it sucked because men would swipe right on EVERYONE without even screening. They didn't care about ME, just that I might be interested. That makes for a very poor relationship. For women, dating apps are an abundance of poor choices with almost no one matching the connection you should look for. I suggest getting involved in hobbies and groups that women enjoy and seeing if you connect with someone through that. That's how I met my husband.

autistic_cool_kid · 2025-09-09T16:00:40+00:00

Dating is inherently selfish. You want something out of the other person. At best you want connection and companionship, at worse you want status, money, etc.

Men and women are no different, no gender is somehow better than the other.

Flightlessbirbz · 2025-09-10T01:18:47+00:00

I never was trying to find the richest guys on dating apps, I was always just looking for a few things: lived fairly close, seemed somewhat fun and not aggressive/disturbing/bad vibe, seemed interested in actually dating and didn’t make the convo sexual right out of the gate, and looked somewhat attractive to me. But on that last one, I quickly realize a lot of guys look much better or worse than their pics, none of them have the same vibe as their pics, and you just kinda have to meet them to know if there’s attraction or not.

I didn’t stick around that long, and met my husband in person.

AutoModerator · 2025-09-09T15:00:01+00:00

Attention!

You can post off topic/jokes/puns as a comment to this Automoderator message.
For "Debate" and "Question for X" Threads: Parent comments that aren't from the target group will be removed, along with their child replies.
If you want to agree with OP instead of challenging their view or if the question is not targeted at you, post it as an answer to this comment.
OP you can choose your own flair according to these guidelines., just press Flair under your post!

Thanks for your cooperation and enjoy the discussion!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

AutoModerator · 2025-09-09T15:00:01+00:00

Hi OP,

You've chosen to identify your thread as a Debate. As such you are expected to actively engage in your own thread with a mind open to being changed. PPD has guidelines for what that involves.

OPs author must genuinely hold the position and you must be open to having your view challenged.

An unwillingness to debate in good faith may be inferred from one or several of the following:

Ignoring the main point of a comment, especially to point out some minor inconsistency;

Refusing to make concessions that an alternate view has merit;

Focusing only on the weaker arguments;

Only having discussions with users who agree with your position.

Failure to keep to this higher standard (we only apply to Debate OPs) may result in deletion of the whole thread.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

Worldly_Dance_7147 · 2025-09-09T15:14:06+00:00

How is matching with women ONLY based on wanting to have sex with them not "look at it like whats in it for me?"

WebNew9978 · 2025-09-09T16:42:30+00:00

Eh with auction houses, you’re trying to buy as much as you can for as cheap as you can. Getting the best quality for the cheapest price. Let’s say I was the auction manager of a Ford Dealership and went to a car auction. I’m trying to buy every single good quality Ford I can for as cheap as possible.

With dating, we want the best for us but we only need one person to be that. It doesn’t have to be multiple. Yes we may look around and see what’s out there but we’re trying to find one. Not many.

howdoiw0rkthisthing · 2025-09-09T20:09:08+00:00

They look at it like whats in it for me?

Why are the men on these apps? Selfless desire to donate dick?

Economy-Praline9372 · 2025-09-12T04:00:38+00:00

GET OFF DATING APPS. You are just making tech bros richer.

Whatever happened to MGTOW? Maybe now there needs to be a 4B for men.

Title	Dating apps are essentially auction houses
Author	EducationPatient4622
Upvotes	0
Comments	72
Date	September 9, 2025 3:00 PM UTC (10 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1ncl9cg/dating_apps_are_essentially_auction_houses/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/dating-apps-are-essentially-auction-houses.1561632 https://theredarchive.com/post/1561632

Comments