How many of you had sex on tap once you split up ….

mchop68 · 2025-09-21T20:44:03+00:00

I was with my wife for 23 years. Recently split and divorce should be finalized in the next couple weeks. We’ve already agreed on everything just waiting on our court date for judge to sign the decree.

I recently had sex with someone different for the first time since 2003. And yes, I fell flat. This woman was fucking adorable and she knew how to fuck. But I just couldn’t get into it. And I was totally into her. I thought about it a lot afterward and the reality of what was happening and knowing this would no longer be my wife I’m fucking going forward was in the back of my head and ruined my ability to perform.

Haven’t had sex since and probably won’t for a while until I’m completely over the thought of my soon to be ex wife.

outsideofaustin · 2025-09-21T20:37:19+00:00

Personally, I find these posts insensitive and out of touch.

A lot of men stumble upon this sub as their lives are in shambles. They are navigating a divorce, custody battle, finding a new place to live, figuring out how pay support and alimony, being a single father, navigating the trauma of betrayal, mental health of substance abuse issues…

The notion that it should be easy to find easy sex after divorce is lame. For the majority, it’s hard or impossible. For many it’s a not a priority. For others they find the sex empty or struggle with ED as the anxiety of being with their first new partner in 10,20,30 years is foreign.

So if you come to this sub wanting to brag about how easy it is… you are doing the rest a huge disservice. And I think you are probably lying to overcompensate for your own insecurities.

I’d suggest going to a dating or redpill sub if you want to brag.

jkw118 · 2025-09-21T20:29:37+00:00

It took me a year before I dated anyone.. And even then I had 3 kids with me most of the time.. The 1st few times it was a little tough.. I mean got hard but like it messed with my head.. It really took me a bit to get back into being able to fully be able to enjoy it.. And for everything to be okay, it took months..

I made sure the ladies fully enjoyed it.. but yeah.. It was kinda funny one even offered to be having sex on the dining room table when the ex showed up at the door.. (didn't do it) lol

notconvinced780 · 2025-09-21T20:24:41+00:00

It depends what you are the “out of options” statement to: if it’s to repairing the relationship, that’s probably very true in most divorce situations. If “out of options” means something else, I’m not sure what you mean so can’t opine. Deciding to end a marriage is a very difficult decision and it is healthy to have all sorts of mixed feelings about it. The “hard part” about sex after marriage is that during marriage, you attach that sex emotionally to a lot of stuff that relates to being a husband and in a family. When you are first outside of that role and first having sex, it can definitely be difficult to achieve that frame of mind in which your body cooperates with your brain desires in that new context. This totally caught me by surprise when things in some early encounters. The girls were cool and patient about it and while horrified, I made light of it and usually was able to get into the body/mind alignment layer in that same encounter Strangely, if the marriage were “toxic” or dead-bedroom, it can STILL happen! The other part of your post seems to be asking if it’s difficult to find/meet/have mutual attraction with women as a divorcee. I have not found that part difficult either during separation or divorce, though I have been with the same girl since the first flurry of dating post separation (2.5 years).

Ok-Elephant4746 · 2025-09-21T20:19:32+00:00

In many places in Europe, paid fun is legal, so…

ArtichokeSavings9472 · 2025-09-21T20:15:52+00:00

Nope I love having new girls around way more fun and I’m not attached to any bullshit if they pull any shit I don’t like then it’s on to the next . Marriage doesn’t seem like an option again for a long while I wish I would have kicked her out sooner .

conker574 · 2025-09-21T20:08:21+00:00

I had no shortage of fun after my split.

I had everything from the mega-slut to the ultra conservative bedroom type.

I also had to deal with the consequences of all of what comes with that. It was a big time learning curve that's for sure. Especially when you're looking out for yourself and your kids.

Some girls were even inviting me over to their place "while their husband's are at work" or while the kids were napping. It made me realize that some girls these days have ZERO morales.

Would I do it all over again? Yes.... 100% yes. Lol

UnknownUsername113 · 2025-09-21T20:05:37+00:00

You don’t get it. Devoting your life to someone and then having them cheat or walk away is devastating to the ego.

I used to have no problem picking up girls. Now… I just want nothing to do with them. I couldn’t care less about the sex.

Acceptable_Piano4809 · 2025-09-21T20:04:24+00:00

Nope…. I’ll be honest, I haven’t even wanted to have sex with a female. Good for you if you have that sort of thing set up, I didn’t, I was with my ex almost a decade and took our marriage seriously. It’s prob been over 3 years since I’ve had sex. I’m 44/M, I’d like to, but I’m also very financially well off and have a lot to lose, so the risk vs reward isn’t worth it for me tight now and may never be again. It’s unfortunate and not the way I’d write my life if I was in charge, but it’s where I am.

Good luck!

MajesticDrive4049 · 2025-09-21T20:00:29+00:00

I never had game! I thought once that i was married that i would have all kinds of crazy sex but naw. Twice! Now im 52 and a recovering nice guy. Maybe women see vulnerability in past relationships and like to hear about growth or heartbreak… but i have been doing the work and putting in reps. Now after alot of effort and following dr Corey Wayne and i have alot of options and am doing very well. I wish i had more days open in the week to fit it all in. Maybe its easier as we get older…but the sex is amazing and never been better my guy!

Chris_Chilled · 2025-09-21T19:59:40+00:00

Personally, not having any issues.

GeneratedUserHandle · 2025-09-21T19:58:13+00:00

I am attractive and have a high paying career, having sex is not an issue for me.

bankofgreed · 2025-09-21T19:54:13+00:00

I would wager most divorce men totally forgot how to present themselves as a desirable partner. Hence why they’re divorced. They’re bringing that same energy with them when they’re trying to date and they’re falling flat.

OkEducation9522 · 2025-09-21T19:45:43+00:00

Not to be rude, but I don’t think you get it at all.

Different men invest different amounts into their relationships. If you’ve only ever seen relationships as a way to get consistent sex, you’re not going to experience a breakup the same way as someone who wanted to have and be a partner for life. I was raised in a high-demand religion. Marriage wasn’t just for life but for eternity. I see things differently now, but I still value the bond of intimacy that a relationship brings over the sex. So when my divorce happened it was like ripping out a part of me rather than just losing a resource that had previously been available to me. It takes time to recover from that.

I’m not saying that one mindset is better than another but people’s heartache and the time it takes to recover are valid.

nonotmeporfavor · 2025-09-21T19:43:59+00:00

It’s all mental.

You either have it or you don’t.

No one wants to be with someone who’s depressed and miserable. Which can be stage that some fall into until they heal what’s hurting them.

It can be hard to open oneself up to others if you’ve been hurt. However, there’s so many ways to get through it.

For me, I just don’t want that energy. I’ve been able to get it, but realized I was chasing the dopamine hit, which really messed with me after realizing that I have so many things I’m running away from and I need to work on myself.

This helped me be ok with not pursuing the opposite sex and for the time being focusing on myself.

iqeq_noqueue · 2025-09-21T19:38:42+00:00

That’s the easy part. It’s figuring out why you feel empty and like dogshit after you go to the tap that sucks.

letsbehavingu · 2025-09-21T19:37:06+00:00

I’m doing fine, most people never had game to start with

Title	How many of you had sex on tap once you split up ….
Author	polluted_wisdom
Upvotes	0
Comments	25
Date	September 21, 2025 7:32 PM UTC (10 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1nn1a60/how_many_of_you_had_sex_on_tap_once_you_split_up/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/how-many-of-you-had-sex-on-tap-once-you-split-up.1562513 https://theredarchive.com/post/1562513

Comments