my GF checking out other dudes

Password-55 · 2025-12-30T17:51:27+00:00

Do you have the ability to speak to her? If yes, damn, ask her.

If you do not trust her to be honest. I would work on that. That is a problem to work on then.

Nobody here or ever has the ability to read minds that‘s why we use our mouths and ears to communicate. People can still bullshit and lie, but I hope you are not in a relationship where that constantly happens.

Also wehen my partner finds somebody attractive we can just celebrate zhat together, that does not mean we will break up because of that, because we do not use Christian Disney logic, that once you are together you never look at another attractive person anymore. I also find other people attractive and sometimes I tell her too. We still stay together because we are not only attracted, we also like to hang out and have similar values. If all you have to offer is that you are hot, then of course that is no good guarantee for a stable relationship.

That was my brutal honest take.

NormalDudeNotWeirdo · 2025-12-30T16:59:12+00:00

OP, be careful. This sub is full of lurkers who are actively red or black pilled

DarkMellie · 2025-12-30T21:51:06+00:00

Do you not look at other women?

yuhanimerom · 2025-12-30T16:39:46+00:00

Is she checking the dude out or the fit

ChicoBrillo · 2025-12-30T19:47:10+00:00

Do you only have eyes for her? I think everybody looks. I don't know your relationship but if she's making it obvious because she knows it upsets you then I'd consider that a redflag. Hard to know what she thinks without talking to her about it though. So I'd start there, just be vulnerable and bring it up. If she's toxic and doesn't respect you being honest then leave. Just my two cents

Personal_Dirt3089 · 2025-12-31T00:10:08+00:00

This brings up a broader question of how much checking out other people is ok, how much is ok while in a relationship , how much is ok in front of a partner, etc.

And people, apply the same standards to men and women. Be honest of what's screwing up clumsily in the moment and what is being actively scoping.

sirlost33 · 2025-12-30T21:45:28+00:00

Honestly, it’s hard to tell. She could just be looking out of natural instinct; like I look at other women when I’m out with my wife. She looks too; it’s kinda natural. Doesn’t mean we don’t love each other or want other people.

On the flip side maybe y’all aren’t for each other. And that’s ok. You should talk to her about how you feel.

Weak_Bison6763 · 2025-12-31T02:11:51+00:00

Just ask her.

If you feel like you can't ask her, you probably have some other underlying issues that need resolved. Probably means you struggle to talk about hard things... you know? Would definitely be best to just ask, then set boundaries together. Emotional intelligence is important and also attractive

GladysSchwartz23 · 2025-12-30T17:48:28+00:00

It bums me out that this sort of thing is a problem. My husband and I point out attractive people to each other.

crazycal123 · 2025-12-30T16:33:48+00:00

I think it’s disrespectful to do so and I’d talk to her about this.

That said there are multiple factors to consider here, are you holding up your end of the relationship? This includes taking care of yourself.

AstuteStoat · 2025-12-30T18:58:53+00:00

A few people suggest you could talk to her about it, but I want to talk about how that conversation can go.

Because if she tells you she's not and you don't believe her, then there's a chance you're not suited to being in a relationshpp with her and need to break it off. Obviously you should try to decide if you want to work through it, like with therapy.

But ultimately if you can't believe her, it doesn't matter if she's doing it intentionally, for unfaithful reasons or if you're just exaggerating her normal existence, what matters is you don't trust her enough to maintain a relationship with her.

This is why most relationships end after one cheats, because the other loses the ability to trust and believe the cheating partner.

NoDanaOnlyZuuI · 2025-12-30T20:35:00+00:00

She’s likely just noticing good looking men. It’s not a message. Don’t you ever notice good looking women in public?

If she’s being overt about it and/or it bothers you, talk to her about it.

mylesaway2017 · 2025-12-31T17:34:25+00:00

This is subreddit is for giving aid and support to folks trying to or have left redpill. I think your post would be more appropriate somewhere else.

Miners-Not-Minors · 2026-01-01T00:44:40+00:00

Are you ex red pill?

maybememaybeno · 2026-01-01T03:18:51+00:00

Tbh I notice myself doing this too. I don’t do it intentionally. It’s like my lizard brain activates. I am totally not interested in talking to other men but I’m not blind and when I see an attractive person, male or female, my head turns naturally.

giddy-girly-banana · 2026-01-01T18:51:29+00:00

Everyone checks out other people. Jealousy is not attractive.

Key-Amoeba2827 · 2026-01-04T20:39:09+00:00

If you’re really secure, you can even tell each other who you think is hot, and it won’t be an issue.

Big-Wasabi-8477 · 2025-12-30T19:00:40+00:00

Cobfront her without attacking her, be upfront, assertive but not hurtful... and tell her to shut it ofd or you'll dump her

But yeah, there are gonna be losers here who wojld tell you "hes gonna cuck you" or "she already fucked them"... those are incels

Hayn0002 · 2025-12-30T17:36:22+00:00

Women are allowed to look at men.

Either_Bobcat_4106 · 2026-01-21T02:36:38+00:00

Brutal take: there is no such thing as the feminine mind. That's your first mistake. What you have before you is the mind of one woman. Only one. Her mind is different than the mind of Every other woman. If you want to know what's on her mind, ask her. That's the only way you will begin to find out, assuming she will be honest with you. You may want to be honest with her and just tell her what you're noticing and how you find it to be disrespectful. Her reaction and subsequent actions will tell you all you need to know about her.

But be prepared for her answer as well. She may in turn return the favor with honesty herself, about some behaviors that you engage in that she finds disrespectful. That's an opportunity for growth, if you both let it. Cutting out the behaviors that hurt the other person. Assuming the request is reasonable. Remember that most men do check out other women.

Story: my dad remarried a much younger woman after my mom died, and I got a step sister. She was 16 and we went to Walmart, and she was in her high school uniform, and I counted at least 10 middle-aged men with kids in tow who checked her out. Another time we went to the gym, and literally every guy at the weight machines turned around to stare at her. Yes. She was cute. But she was only 16. And didn't these dudes have girlfriends and wives?

Careful-Hour-182 · 2026-06-05T23:21:03+00:00

looking at people does not equate to sexual arousal. She can look at whoever she wants to. It's not like she's saying 'wow I want to fuck that guy!' she's just using vision. she likely looks at lots of people, ugly men too, women, but you only notice when it's a good looking guy cuz you're insecure.

if you are super insecure in yourself then sure, you can make up stories in your head such as 'she is looking at another man who I deem to be more attractive than I, therefore she is definitely going to leave me' but that's a YOU problem. maybe try therapy for your low self estem?

at the end of the day bro she chose you. you want to be with you. so who cares if she looks at another person

Subsidence82 · 2025-12-30T16:49:09+00:00

Usually women are good at inconspicuously doing that.

She making you jealous on purpose.

ComstockReborn · 2025-12-30T16:55:24+00:00

Tell her to cut it out because you don’t like it. Her response should tell you everything you need to know.

Title	my GF checking out other dudes
Author	Mean_Yak5166
Upvotes	4
Comments	51
Date	December 30, 2025 4:18 PM UTC (7 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/1pzm9bn/my_gf_checking_out_other_dudes/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/my-gf-checking-out-other-dudes.1570036 https://theredarchive.com/post/1570036

Comments