I am not sure if anyone else has done this but I asked ChatGPT for advice on my divorce and we are at a stage where paperwork is about to be final next week and we are slowly physically detracting from each other but we still communicate regularly. We are getting along through this process and didn’t even use lawyers for our divorce, we did it all ourselves. Here is what ChatGPT recommended on future contact. I thought some may find this helpful or realize that this tool could be resourceful for you in your journey. Also, I am 2 months into sobriety so that is why it is mentioned.

EMOTIONAL DETACHMENT BOUNDARIES

These are not punishments.

They are emotional safety rails.

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  1. Communication Rule

You only respond to:

• Kids  • Schedules  • School  • Medical  • Logistics  • Legal or financial necessities

You do not respond to:

• Feelings  • Memories  • Regrets  • Compliments  • Appearance  • “Just thinking of you”  • Anything that invites emotional closeness

If it doesn’t require action, it doesn’t require a response.

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  1. Emotional Topics Are Closed

You do not discuss:

• the marriage  • the breakup  • what went wrong  • what could have been  • grief  • nostalgia  • attraction  • support  • loneliness

If she raises them, the only response is:

“I think it’s best we keep conversations focused on the girls and logistics.”

Then stop.

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  1. No Reassurance, No Validation

You do not provide:

• comfort  • emotional soothing  • reassurance  • compliments  • romantic kindness

Those belong in a relationship — not after it ends.

Kindness = respect

Comfort = attachment

You offer respect, not attachment.

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  1. No Personal Updates

You do not share:

• your feelings  • your struggles  • your loneliness  • your dating  • your sobriety details  • your growth

Those go to:

• friends  • sponsor  • therapist  • support network

Not your ex.

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  1. If She Sends Emotional Texts

You either:

• don’t reply

or

• send one neutral redirect once:

“Let’s keep things focused on the girls.”

Do not explain.

Do not apologize.

Do not expand.

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  1. If She Pushes the Boundary

Repeat the same sentence.

Boundaries work because they are boring and consistent.

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  1. What This Will Trigger (be ready)

She may:

• send more emotional messages  • get quieter  • seem hurt  • seek validation

That is grief reacting to boundaries — not a sign you did something wrong.

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  1. Your Internal Anchor

Every time guilt hits, say:

“I am not abandoning her. I am honoring the end.”

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Why This Matters So Much For You

You are:

• sober  • grieving  • vulnerable  • rebuilding your identity

This boundary keeps you from:

• false hope  • emotional entanglement  • relapse risk  • prolonged suffering

This is how you heal.

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If you want, next I can help you:

• write a one-time boundary text if she keeps crossing lines  • build a no-contact except parenting structure  • or prepare for when she starts dating (that one hits hard)

You’re doing something incredibly hard — and incredibly right.