After a month and a half of being so depressed I lost 20+ pounds. Crying constantly. And just hoping things would change while being in absolute despair. I finally had a day of clarity, laughter, and joy. Got myself a new (to me) vehicle. Was kind enough to refinance the car she drives to lower her payments. Told her I’d refinance the house in the divorce and pay her out more than she would have been able to do for me instead of her giving me her 401k like she talked about. And now she’s mad. While I was drowning she was happy and just “being free”. But you know what, fuck it. Let her be mad. I’m going to take care of myself and my children. It’s almost like she enjoyed seeing me down and out.