Please help a 40 years old virgin

drewster23 · 2026-04-22T16:59:47+00:00

Unless you plan on hitting on woman a lot younger than you ..there should really be no concern of being called a pervert or similar.

Are you going to go up to a girl and comment on her tits and say want to fuck?

No probably not.

And the vast majority of people who are concerned about being perceived as creepy are not creepy just insecure.

antonthecad · 2026-04-22T18:05:21+00:00

Start talking to women without any pressure on yourself and that means genuinely talking to them with no motive other than to give compliments and walk away.

"I like your scarf, it really suits you" will get you used to talking to women rather than thinking you need to be getting numbers straight away. Rome wasn't built in a day.

OpinionThink481 · 2026-04-22T18:16:32+00:00

Whatever you feel is something that women will feel too, whenever you feel nervous or insecure, the girl also starts to feel nervous and gets a weird vibe from you causing her to feel unsure about you. That's because your emotional state is causing you to behave in ways that subtly show that sense of discomfort and insecurity you are feeling and it's contagious.

So ultimately, if you approach despite that insecurity, then the girl is likely to reject you not because you are old, but rather becasue of your insecure vibe is making her feel bad feelings about you.

So whenever you do something you can only do it if you have the absolute unquestionable conviction that it is right for you to do that, simply because you say so. The fact that you declare that it is right is valid enough reason to do it simply becasue you don't need permission from others try to meet people. Only you have the ultimate authority on what you do, not others.

If a woman mentions your age when you approach her, and says that you are a bit old, you don't apologize, you don't justify yourself, you don't go defensive, you don't enter useless arguments about age being a number, or trying to convince her with logical arguments about why your age is not an issue. Because no one gives a fuck about any reason, justification or argument you can give. You simply can joke about it, agreeing and amplifying: "Yeah i am so old, i knew burger king when he was just a prince

That's it. Find "your mom / dad is so old" jokes, and that way you can brush off smoothly any age test like that.

becomesharp · 2026-04-22T22:31:50+00:00

Dude. You need a coach, trust me. When you get to 40 years old without any success, youre stuck in a rut and you cant rely on "luck" to get you out of it. It's like that old adage -- if you keep doing what youve always done, you'll keep getting what you've always gotten.

I have never seen anyone in the 40-year-old-virgin territory pull themselves out of that rut by themselves.

Yes I'm a coach so I'm biased here, but im not saying to work with us. Work with anyone legitimate, just dont try to do this on your own unless you want a lesson in futility.

OpinionThink481 · 2026-04-22T18:18:09+00:00

Whatever you feel is something that women will feel too, whenever you feel nervous or insecure, the girl also starts to feel nervous and gets a weird vibe from you causing her to feel unsure about you. That's because your emotional state is causing you to behave in ways that subtly show that sense of discomfort and insecurity you are feeling and it's contagious.

So ultimately, if you approach despite that insecurity, then the girl is likely to reject you not because you are old, but rather becasue of your insecure vibe is making her feel bad feelings about you.

So whenever you do something you can only do it if you have the absolute unquestionable conviction that it is right for you to do that, simply because you say so. The fact that you declare that it is right is valid enough reason to do it simply becasue you don't need permission from others try to meet people. Only you have the ultimate authority on what you do, not others.

If a woman mentions your age when you approach her, and says that you are a bit old, you don't apologize, you don't justify yourself, you don't go defensive, you don't enter useless arguments about age being a number, or trying to convince her with logical arguments about why your age is not an issue. Because no one gives a fuck about any reason, justification or argument you can give. You simply can joke about it, agreeing and amplifying: "Yeah i am so old, i knew burger king when he was just a prince

That's it. Find "your mom / dad is so old" jokes, and that way you can brush off smoothly any age test like that.

CoachSlyDating · 2026-04-22T21:16:49+00:00

Start small. Start with compliments in passing. Excuse me, I like your hat. Talk to everyone. Talk to cashiers every day. Ask them how their day is going. Tell them about your day… never answer with “good”. After a couple weeks of doing this at least 3x per day, you might ask for directions and pivot to showing more interest.

epimpstyle · 2026-04-22T21:53:27+00:00

- Before you go out, you need to get into a good head space. Listen to your favorite music, watch some stand-up comedy, take a cold shower, do some push-ups... do whatever it takes to feel good. When you close that door and leave the house, you need be in a great mood, humming a song or whistling to yourself.

- Once you’re out, you have maximum 20 minute window to talk to a stranger. If you let those 20 minutes pass, you’ll start overthinking, worrying about your problems or work, the boring thoughts will take over... once that happens, you'll find it impossible to approach anyone.

- As a beginner, you need a context to talk with a woman. If there isn't one, you have to create it... there needs to be a common topic to talk about, otherwise, it's just weird.

autodidacticasaurus · 2026-04-22T23:21:36+00:00

You should start small by talking to all kinds of strangers all of the time. Talk to old people and shop keepers. Do it as often as you can. Then start platonic conversations with unattractive women. Then start platonic conversations with attractive women. Once you do all of this (which can take months or years) then start flirting with attractive women.

United-Implement-382 · 2026-04-22T17:11:41+00:00

Have you ever approached a woman in your life? What is the age range of the women that you are interested in?

H8beingmale · 2026-04-23T01:03:13+00:00

i would say the age number i have started to hate and resent the most in regards to the 40s decade is 42, because of testimonials or clients from the mens dating coach community over the years, even though ideally, most people and most society, they have the attitude or mindset that people are supposed to celebrate or feel happy or feel accomplished even if they get results even if is results later than the societal norm or what is socially acceptable.

Counteractual grief is the word, but yeah i know its common for many people and they are NOT wrong, that even if they do get results, its normal and common for them to forever feel sad and depressed and resentful, bitter, that it took them later than their peers, that they did not get to experience the typical timeline of when people normally start dating, which is either late teens or beginning of 20s.

Yes i know people will always say "comparison is the thief of joy, or how are those thoughts serviving you?".

I get mad hearing those, but still, its another reminder of what comes with natures territory.

Rare-Degree-9596 · 2026-04-23T02:24:41+00:00

I'm 48, age doesn't mean anything.

Read "Flip the Fucking Switch." By Steven Terzic. His advice is to learn to reframe your entire perspective from feeling not welcome, to always knowing you are as welcome as anyone else in these kinds of public spaces.

You don't owe anyone an apology for wanting something more out of life. You have just as much of a right to be there as anyone else.

They're doing it too.

Be comfortable in your own body and enjoy yourself, first.

KoleSekor · 2026-04-23T02:33:43+00:00

Yeah, you're going to need to get more help than some generic reddit post and advice... I'll work with you 1 on 1 if you actually want to get to the bottom of this.

Tactical_Testicles01 · 2026-04-24T21:30:49+00:00

It's not that hard bro, just socialize like a civilized person and be funny + it helps if you are atttactive

Imscubbabish · 2026-04-22T18:25:11+00:00

I do have a friend like you. 35 he is scared too. Least you admitted to yourself you are scared. My advice is get out of your head and love yourself. Find out what makes you so scared. Maybe try psychedelics, helps you find answers within. Talking to someone is hard for me too sometimes you just got to say hello

Sea_Independent_9511 · 2026-04-22T17:45:07+00:00

Hay 4 formas para conseguir mujeres Instagram redes sociales Tu en acercamiento en frío Que te amuestrem tus amigos Y ir a un hobbys que también vaya mujeres. Si tienes las 4 matemáticamente encontraras dependen mucho de tu apariencia, estatus y que tienes de valor. Para que fluyan las 4. . Ahora si es para conocer y jugar por que con tu familia tu edad tienes peligros que te cojan como sugar o como alguien para tener una familia una traumada tener cuidado hay con las luchonas, modo supervivencia o que pasaron en adicción o cosas turbias, las que te dice que quieren una relación rápido con hijo y familia, o las que te quieren sacar solo plata. Nada conoce.. . Tu miedo no se por que es traumada, neurodibergencias, por huevon no se eso te tiene que preguntar voz. Y si nunca has tenido experiencia no digas eso ellas ven si mienten o no mejor amaga de que estabas casado o en relaciónes en buenas términos y estas disfrutando del momento. Y si ya has visto todo de seducción entonces también has visto a Ivan barca para mi es bueno directo repite mucho pero en el púa más honesto almenos le puedes ver los grices y huecos a esto velo. Pero si ya sabes dar emociones fuertes y todo lo demás pues como refuerzo. Pero si nunca has tenido raro, falta contexto, por que para tener es 15, 20, 25, 30 y máximo 25 después ya game over, por que más peligrosos para ti, también otra idea es que ya sigas tu propio camino con las filosofías. Y por que nunca fue lad cariñosas están buenas no se tu país pero si buscas bien y tiene plata puedes jugar. . O tu nadie te hizo caso no te escogio y ahora te estas haciendo pagas mentales qué si tenias. Para no aceptar la realidad.

Title	Please help a 40 years old virgin
Author	949orange
Upvotes	13
Comments	44
Date	April 22, 2026 4:52 PM UTC (3 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1ssr6ti/please_help_a_40_years_old_virgin/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/please-help-a-40-years-old-virgin.1578602 https://theredarchive.com/post/1578602

Comments