I’ve seen the idea that sex for some women can be tied to emotional validation like feeling desired, cared for, or emotionally connected. But I’m curious about situations where a hookup is mainly based on physical attraction or opportunity.

Secret_Entry1840 · 2026-06-02T12:47:05+00:00

I’ve had sex for validation, for fun, for the experience, to hurt myself, to feel better, to feel worse, because I was in love, because I was horny, because I was bored.

Icy_Ad_4544 · 2026-06-02T13:06:12+00:00

What was going through my mind when I participated in casual sex was:

I’m horny. This guy is available and interested. Hopefully I will have an orgasm.

That’s it. 🤷‍♀️

Lysa_Bell · 2026-06-02T13:21:26+00:00

Horny tingles makes brain go brrrrrr

pie-mart · 2026-06-02T12:56:05+00:00

Idk to me sex is sex. It doesn't mean anything coming from a man. Men are attracted to everything so them being attracted to me is just me being a drop of bucket in a water to them. In terms of attraction.

Whereas women are more selective. So, when we choose a man for sex. Especially multiple times, it means a lot more to a man that to women

Its just we as women are conditioned to care about losing our virginity like we are bad if we do. And thats the main time sex means something

Otherwise sex for women just means an expression of attraction. But again, men expressing attraction isn't really a compliment since they are willing and do express it to dozens, and maybe even hundreds of women. Therefore its not reallt special coming from a man

b_berry458 · 2026-06-02T13:01:56+00:00

I think for hookups I was just following what seems most fun in the moment. For me they have to be good at conversation too because to even get to that point we have probably talked a bit. Usually some things they have said have impressed me and I like the way they look.

Now about personal safety, only once did I wonder if I was in over my head. But the guy was a gentleman at least and I trusted his vibe enough.

kmb218 · 2026-06-02T13:11:35+00:00

During sex I’m not really thinking that much. I’m just enjoying the physical sensations and the mental satisfaction of the scenario. Afterwards I feel content and relaxed and possibly more connected to my partner, especially if we cuddle (given that the sex was good).

-Shes-A-Carnival · 2026-06-02T15:35:49+00:00

i was drunk. i never thought about it. you all think too much. if it was good and we talked all night and he liked me we dated. i dont understand the belief that "hookups" and "Dating" are these discrete, separate categories. hookups is dating. you hook up until one hook up aligns and then thats your bf, or husband later. most hookups dont generate "the Night" and you just along to the next. when i met my husband it was a hookup that lasted 5 days, he stopped going to work.

theminxisback · 2026-06-02T14:07:23+00:00

Hook ups are dudes willing to be my sex toy for the night. I'm there to get off or to live rent free in his head while he disappoints me forever and more than likely gets forgotten about.

I've had sex for the sake of it. I've had pity sex with guys because I felt so sorry for them I decided to give them sex once so they would feel less left out by their peers. I have a thing for first times as well. I like setting the bar and expectations for people. I also enjoy new experiences and fulfilling people's fantasies. I even made a career out of it.

I haven't had casual sex in years. Sometimes I debate going out and finding a random dude at a bar to fuck. And then I get to the bar and 99% of the dudes in there are repulsive and disgusting to even look at. So I havent had a hook up in some time.

Most of the sex i have these days is deeply emotionally connected though. And not hollow and empty like my casual days were.

NiaMiaBia · 2026-06-02T13:46:24+00:00

I’ve not had casual sex with a stranger but I have had FWBs that I see casually. I had sex with them because it feels good. I only select people that are “sexually talented” lol. My orgasms are guaranteed so why not 💃🏽

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Tylikcat · 2026-06-02T19:58:49+00:00

My casual sex has generally been with people I knew and liked.

Other than that, I was horny, I was attracted, I was bored, pick some few 😄

HungryDepth5918 · 2026-06-02T23:57:18+00:00

Met my husband off of Tinder, he did text me for like three weeks before we could meet up but it was totally a one night stand that just failed to end. Hes visually just my type. He takes my breath away. My mind wanders thinking about how beautiful he is. I didnt go into it thinking thered be more even though I did hope. I dont know my brain was totally short circuiting. I couldn’t get over how attracted to him I was.

Just_Fisherman4910 · 2026-06-10T10:55:58+00:00

Two scenarios for hookups:
1. The woman seeks a man for sex - (this scenario is not the norm, so she's going to go for the hottest guy she can get) The kind of sex in this case, where she is in charge, is not going to be sexually fulfilling for her. The problem is that the man she had sex with is probably over the moon by receiving this kind of sex.
2. The man seeks the woman for sex but pretends to want a relationship - sex here can be fabulous or bad for her, depending on sexual attraction/chemistry. But he's going to dump her anyway, so...

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