Am I The Odd Divorced Dad?

Perfect-Drummer-6496 · 2026-07-17T23:50:35+00:00

I don't mind my time at all, but the kids prefer my house over hers and this summer, they come over and hang out at my place when she and I are both at work.

It's the family house and she's in a rental, so I get why they prefer being here, but it's food and groceries 7 days a week, more utilities, more messes to clean up. Then when they ARE with me they never go to her house, so she's free to do wtf she wants to do.

Last Sunday I had my older boys 10 days in a row, she picked them up at 3pm, by 6pm they were both at my house again..

I'll never tell them they're not welcome here ever....BUT that shit does get kinda annoying.

Like i would enjoy some time to myself.

Curious_Will222 · 2026-07-16T19:12:22+00:00

That’s understandable. But honestly, the kids don’t experience it that way. They could have 80% of their time with mom, but the 20% they spend with you can be full of joy, presence, & laughter that fill their memories.

I have a friend who divorced when his kids were younger. Wife took the kids out of state. He only saw them maybe 2 weekends a month and holidays.

But not they’re older and they have a much closer relationship with him than mom. He’s the best he they call for advice or just to vent.

A high quality presence in a short time is way better for kids long term than low quality presence but lots of time.

MonkeyBranchBuster · 2026-07-16T19:02:53+00:00

I'm actually more depressed when they are with me than when they aren't. Everything is sub par now compared while we were a family, she kept the big house, all the "family" friends with little kids to boot, we used to take a month long family seaside vacations, visited family, took trips.

Now it's just me and the kids, with little to no money, in a shitty place, alone.

Phocas · 2026-07-16T17:11:07+00:00

I get what you're saying and I'm super lucky with 50/50 considering the alternatives but I fucking hate it. My kids are only this young once and I'll never forgive their Mother for stealing half of their childhood from me.

ConditionValuable211 · 2026-07-16T11:27:08+00:00

50/50 care so don't miss the boys that much, work, gym, dogs etc, but remember alot of guys on here wanted 50/50 but got every second weekend or some crap, now imagine the personal hell they are going through

crzapy · 2026-07-16T06:31:39+00:00

Honestly my 50/50 split is kinda nice.

When the kids are there we do family activities and I'm a 100% attentive father.

When they're gone I do hobbies, chores, and adult activities with the girlfriend.

Keeps it fresh.

upvotersfortruth · 2026-07-16T04:23:27+00:00

I love being alone, I also love my kids and have a great arrangement where I can see them anytime I want - but don’t really miss them unless they’re actually away

Longshot-Kapow · 2026-07-16T02:28:21+00:00

It also depends in the individual. I am a very "soft hearted" guy and I cherish physical closeness and feel a lot when my kids go to their mom, the house feels like a mausoleum of my family's failure, there were ghosts there. After a week with the kids, the first night is specially difficult, the second it gets better. I was seing a girl and I would go to her house the first night, after droping the kids off, it would be better to manage the first night,.but I realized it was not the best for the girl, because I was using her from a certain ppoint of view (even though she really liked when I went to her place)

funnyman6979 · 2026-07-16T01:23:43+00:00

Everyone is different with different situations, one I can call anytime and one who bought into the BS. I embrace good feeling stories and I give back to those struggling and can relate with.

IcyMycologist4837 · 2026-07-16T01:06:24+00:00

No you are not. Especially when the kids are teenagers.

krazykanuck · 2026-07-16T02:56:57+00:00

"According to multiple NBA sources, when the Raptors had to commit in writing to assume any risk of any penalties Leonard might incur from an investigation into his Los Angeles Clippers contract, they decided to pause on the transaction."

Ah yes, the "not it" or "hot potato" clause. Similar to the "I know you are but what am I" clause.

Wrong_Report9195 · 2026-07-16T00:42:01+00:00

I've seen two divorced moms become awesome single parents. Top notch with zero compromises. Both dads were 1000 miles away and gave up their parental rights entirely as long as they still got the child support credit of coparenting.

There are some pros there. No fighting, no battles, no late pickups, no plane flights, etc etc etc.

engineered-chemistry · 2026-07-16T00:23:49+00:00

I was very lonely, sad, and guilty for many months. It took a while but pulled out. It also took a few months to really feel the weight of the emotions.

bdkgb · 2026-07-15T23:40:40+00:00

I understand this. Mine are teenagers and they do their own thing anyway. We separated for a month. Week at home week gone and the first night alone I was sad briefly but after that I was fine. Now I can't wait to have some freedom and alone time once on a while.

SquashAny6790 · 2026-07-15T23:38:06+00:00

I guess calling would work when they are old and independent enough but for a lot of posters expressing these feelings their kids are small, sometimes really small and our ex's reasonably aren't going to want their time with the kids interrupted by the other parent phoning whenever they get lonely

bluemarble-spaceship · 2026-07-15T23:34:31+00:00

I think it depends on the circumstances of your divorce. If you were the one that walked away or your ex was nuts than I can see why you're not that emotional. Granted I'm at the point where I truly believe the biggest oxymoron in the world is sane woman.

Title	Am I The Odd Divorced Dad?
Author	Curious_Will222
Upvotes	23
Comments	39
Date	July 15, 2026 11:23 PM UTC (3 weeks ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1uxlxrz/am_i_the_odd_divorced_dad/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/am-i-the-odd-divorced-dad.1585135 https://theredarchive.com/post/1585135

Comments