A mans natural desire to have as many attractive women as possible

EasternEuropeanIAMA · 2019-01-21T10:59:02+00:00

There are several factors preventing men from cheating in different combinations, depending on the man and on circumstances:

Loyalty: to you, to family and children
The law: it's a deterrent if you can make his life a living hell and take his money in a divorce
Laziness: pure and simple, if he has a good enough piece of ass at home, why bother chasing strange?
Lack of opportunity: maybe he's too unattractive to attract a woman he will bother cheating with, or doesn't have access to any women, no time away from home, etc.
Good family life: many people cheat because they feel alone, unhappy and unfulfilled in their own marriage and look for emotional support and happiness elsewhere.

Now remember all those are conditional and depend on the specific person. For example, many men are not too lazy to chase strange even tho they have a hot wife at home. Or, he may be ugly, but will still find a willing uglier woman to cheat with if he wants it that bad.

At least that's my experience with myself and male friends.

aftertheafter-party · 2019-01-21T16:47:40+00:00

I think there a few things in my marriage that keep my husband focused on me rather than other women:

- His relationship models (parents, siblings, friends) are all monogamous, long-term, loving marriages.

- We're building something (family, home) together -- so it enriches us for us both to pour our energy into the same vessel.

- I do my best to support him as a lover, homemaker, & friend.

- I'm only one person, yet I am a complex, multi-faceted individual (as we all are). I can't be another woman, but I can give him all parts of myself: the innocent girl next-door, the sultry beauty, the playful troublemaker, & so on

MoDuReddit · 2019-01-21T11:29:40+00:00

If you have healthy relationship with your captain, keep his stomach full and his balls empty, you're golden. That's what my grandma used to say.

skeleflor · 2019-01-21T17:27:14+00:00

How can a mans natural desire to have sex with as many attractive women as possible be managed so it won’t destroy a monogamous relationship? Do you just have to vet properly for the right man?

"Keep his belly full and his balls empty" is good advice and may deter most men from actively seeking partners on the side. But studies have shown that most people (both men and women) are capable of and willing to cheat if 1) the opportunity presents itself and 2) they think they can get away with it. While some men may have superhuman willpower and virtue of steel, many more will be vulnerable to temptation than able to resist it. One's best hope of reducing the risk of cheating would be to reduce those opportunities by maintaing strict boundaries (physical and emotional) with opposite sex friends, coworkers, and exes; and establishing and enforcing severe penalties and consequences for violation of those boundaries.

Love and attraction tend to need physical proximity and time to develop. To avoid temptation and needless drama, both partners should strive to limit how much of it they give to people outside the relationship.

drunk_fish1 · 2019-01-21T11:08:54+00:00

Another reason both men and women cheat is that they want a better reflection of themselves (in combination with the above) in another person so trying to ensure that you're both happy with yourselves and what you're striving for will help x

[deleted] · 2019-01-21T13:23:19+00:00

Just because a man’s natural desire is to bed with as many beautiful women as possible, that doesn’t mean other women actually want to bed with him. Not to mention, if hypergamy can be minimized with self control and respect for the husband, the same can be said for men as long most of his needs are being met.

Honestly, my husband and I are so busy day in and day out raising our family, we just have no time to seek for upgrades. We work hard to make each other happy and work to become the best version of ourselves for one another.

Moonshineraider · 2019-01-21T16:04:27+00:00

Think about the prize you are chasing when you are exercising discipline about hypergamy. What does he do that makes the prize so great? Is it his provider-ship? Is it his practical utility? Is it him buying you flowers here and there just because it was Tuesday? Whatever it is, he has to work at it. He expends effort in every endeavor that makes him attractive to you, and if it weren't this way then there is likely some component of co-dependence in play. The man you love should instinctively know that he has to expend such effort to keep you happy, and at the biological level what is happening is his behavior is suppressing your stress hormones (glucocorticoids and adrenalines) ensuring that you don't feel insecure or neglected in the relationship.

This biological process is exactly the same in men, but is influenced in some fundamentally different ways. If you unpack the "belly full and balls empty" adage for instance, it's pretty clear that this is meant to declare the two most influential avenues through which you can keep his stress hormones suppressed with some effort on your part. It's not fully comprehensive, but it's a good starting point. If there's a plate of food in front of me whenever I'm hungry and I'm milked dry regularly, those components of stress never arise, and it makes me feel like my effort is well worth it. I won't seek fulfillment from any other woman, because the easiest avenue to the fulfillment I seek is through the woman I have at home. It's a microcosm of cost/benefit analysis coupled with some laziness that you can use to your advantage.

Let me re-iterate though that this cannot be a one-sided dynamic. If you are making the appropriate effort and he still messes around, then he is likely has some sort of world view in which he is at the center and sees people around him more as resources than anything else. I always want to root for people but as any doctor will tell you, you can't save everyone.

Sexydyslexicy · 2019-01-21T20:59:39+00:00

Most American men seem mentally unhealthy. Have porn addicts long before getting married. I don't see a point in marrying someone damaged. It's not your responsibility to fix that. You can be the best woman inside and out, give sex. An asshole with always be that way. Sometimes it's their mother who ruined them.. supposedly men who have lower IQ's cheat more.

Zegiknie · 2019-01-21T13:27:15+00:00

Some men would never cheat. They are the conscientious types. It has nothing to do with 'oneitis', they are just appalled by the very idea because of the wrongness of it. Any lust they feel is not enough to overcome their disgust with doing wrong. Even if their balls are not kept empty.

I have a bunch of brothers and they are all like this. They spin plates, but never cheat on girlfriends. And yes, they would tell me if they did.

You have to luck out there. Some men will cheat even if you are perfect.

Best bet is - vet for a non-cheater and treat him as a potential cheater.

Phoenixed · 2019-01-21T14:54:15+00:00

With self control and respect for his wife.

light-----------dark · 2019-01-21T19:52:09+00:00

Have you read Cupid’s Poisoned Arrow?

The author makes a strong argument using evolutionary biological theory to suggest that reproductive love making pulls partners further apart from one another, and makes an argument that “pair bonding” love making actually brings them closer together.

In short, because males are biologically wired to mate and reproduce with as many partners as possible, a monogamous relationship with traditional reproductive sex will eventually lead to disconnection from the male’s end. Presumably, if the male doesn’t have a strong moral compass, this may lead to cheating.

Pair-bonding love making (Tantra, Kerazza, Taoist Way), however, overrides the male’s biological makeup - simply because they are not ejaculating. This leads to increased desire to copulate with the same partner over time.

Fascinating book.

This probably isn’t a solution for everyone, but it’s worth exploring for those interested. The connection shared between my partner and I with this practice is something I’ve never experienced with any other woman.

Tommy_379 · 2019-01-21T15:42:06+00:00

The best way to keep a man, is give him a reason to marry you.

Whisper · 2019-01-23T01:30:10+00:00

A woman’s natural hypergamy is dangerous to a monogamous relationship

Not necessarily.

insidedynamite · 2019-01-21T19:28:15+00:00

There are men out there that really enjoy being loyal.

Based my biased observation, the more monogamous and loyal the man is, the less hypergamous the woman is.

Vise versa, the more polygamous the man is, the more hypergamous the women is. a good example is sugardaddy

Therefore if you want a loyal and monogamous man, you need to find someone who is in your league, financially(same level income), physically(attractiveness), mentally(maturity, conscientiousness)

Monogamous marriage is best for your kids for they will have more paternal(father) investment.

FlyingSexistPig · 2019-01-21T14:02:03+00:00

A man always has to work for it.

A woman doesn't. It's simply offered.

soft-sleepy-kitty · 2019-01-24T19:45:58+00:00

Exactly the same way a woman stays with her man. Gender aside, humans will eventually always seek out a soulmate and a companion. Of course this comes at a different point in life for everyone, for some way too late, but it hits everyone. You can sleep around all you want, but that won't change the fact that sooner or later you will want to settle down. The point of 'experimenting' and getting around is to make sure that you're able to settle with someone you actually like, without having the regrets of not trying out other things. As an example, I know 3 men who are unhappy and cheating on their wives because they got married in their early 20's with mediocre women, just so they can look mature. Now they're all depressed betas who are tied up because of children.

The emotional connection between two people is just as important as the physical attraction. Sleeping around is fun and games until you need support. Men will settle down and stay faithful where they can find the proper combination of the two, and the only way to find it is when you know what you really like, and then find it within someone you can also connect to on an emotional level. When either one stops being there, relationship is off.

HarshaCity · 2019-01-22T00:51:21+00:00

I'm a bit biased about this but I don't see that there should be anything to be done about men's polygamy. I think that there are 3 main things that give polygamy a negative outlook, which are:

1- "If he loves another one then he is not going to love me as he used to". This point has been discussed heavily here so it's known that a man can love and care for all the women on earth simultaneously. It's unlike the female nature where she cares only about the best man available.

2- His resources are going to be divided by 2 or more. Well, if the first woman's needs and the children's are met then he should do whatever he wants with the rest of his resources. If her needs aren't met then the blame should be put on his lousy financial management, not polygamy. For all she knows, he could be wasting money on anything else.

3- Polygamy hurts women's ego. This ego shouldn't have existed in the first place because yes, there are women out there who are better than you and yes, It is possible that you are not enough for your man. Living with these facts wouldn't kill anyone and is some of what TRP is about.

So say that a man has 2 wives. he cares for both, satisfies both emotionally and sexually. I don't see anything wrong here.

Title	A mans natural desire to have as many attractive women as possible
Author	feoamor
Upvotes	37
Comments	65
Date	January 21, 2019 10:38 AM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/ai8ykg/a_mans_natural_desire_to_have_as_many_attractive/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/a-mans-natural-desire-to-have-as-many-attractive.196733 https://theredarchive.com/post/196733

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