We all know (or should know) that your wife is the most responsible child in the house. I want to point out that this isn't just a statement about the way she makes decisions based on emotions, or how she hasn't matured past 18 (IMO this is BS, by the way), and in general it is not intended as derogatory towards women in any way. This isn't just about how you need to treat her, it is about how she WANTS to be treated.
You love your kid, and you want them to be happy. You know what would make them happy? A 1/2 gallon of ice cream for dinner. Well, you said you love them, why can't they have it? It's precisely because you love them. You know what's best. If your 3 year old demands ice cream for dinner and you say no, you are a "big meanie" in her eyes, and she believes it. If you 10 year old demands ice cream for dinner and you say no, you might still be a "mean Dad because Jenny gets ice cream whenever she wants", BUT, there is a big difference. By that age kids have a sense of what is appropriate, and they will understand that you are defying their WANT because you are caring for their NEED. Parenting experts will tell you that children crave structure and fair/consistent discipline/rewards. Or, said another way, if you cave for your kids on stuff they intrinsically know is bad for them they will be temporarily happy that they "got their way" but will eventually be saddened that you didn't care enough about them to make the right choice for them.
How does this apply to MRP? Remember that when your wife says something, you can follow it with "right now". Well, if she shit tests you, makes unreasonable demands, or challenges you directly, those emotions are "in the moment". Afterward, she will eventually be saddened that she doesn't have a man with enough backbone to stand up to her and who doesn't possess the leadership qualities necessary to know that her NEEDS are more important than her WANTS. If you defy her temporary WANT she might feel that you are a "big meanie", but later she will have a sense of calm when her feelz remind her that you are a strong man willing to fight for your ideals and lead the family, even in the face of adversity.
Examples:
"We should trade in my 3 year old car to get the newer model, it has seat heat." I'm sorry babe, I maintain our budget for vehicles considering a trade in no sooner than every 6 years. "But, all the women at the office have the newer model." This car is still under warranty and in great shape, that would just waste money prevent us from meeting our savings goals. "But, we can afford it." We're not discussing this further. In a few years you'll get a new car. "Big meanie" Yep.
"I really want a LV purse for my birthday." Nope, not wasting money on an expensive purse. "But, all the girls at work have a LV purse." Good for them. "Don't you love me?" Yes, so much so that I'm preventing you from looking like an idiot that would spend $2k on a handbag. "Big meanie" Yep.
"If you go out of town you have to call me every 2 hours." I'll call when it is appropriate, definitely before I go to bed so I can say goodnight. "No, I want you to call more often so I know you are safe." Sorry babe, not happening, I'm busy entertaining work clients. "Well, if you loved me you would call." I love you. That has nothing to do with when I call you, so knock it off. "Big meanie" Yep.
The reality is that her feelings are temporary, and they should have zero affect on your feelings. Do you feel sad when your toddler is mad at you for not letting them eat paint? No, so why would her emotions affect you? Now, if I step on my toddlers hand by accident, darn right I feel bad. That also goes for your wife. You need to be your sole critic. Is she legitimately mad at you for a fuck-up, or is she calling you a "big meanie". If her feelz are mad at you, so be it, that will change. What won't change is her appreciation and comfort from having a strong man who can lead her and the family.
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