Rambo

Married 4 years, two kids (2 and 4). Make okay money, could be better but I love my job. I make enough that my wife can stay at home with the kids. I'm lifting daily and have made solid gains. I've read MMSLP, the Professor's book, Book of Pook, almost finished with NMMNG. I'm a pretty good looking guy but I'm half gray and can't shake the creepy vibe (I'm quiet). I'm working on this and seeing results.

I've actually known my wife since we were 12. We were in the same social circle in high school but never hooked up. She stayed in Michigan for college and I went out West. She ended up moving to my state and we met up. Her husband eventually cheated on her, I always wanted to fuck her, so we started dating. We moved in together but she was a bitch a lot, I didn't get it so I started talking to other women, we broke up, make up sex, she got pregnant (definitely mine), I proposed (did actually love her) we moved back to Michigan, nice house in a nice area, life is good, went on family vacation with my parents and brother's family, caught her and my brother in "I want you" staring contests from time to time on said vacation, beta blow up at the wife, confronted my dickhead brother, he revealed RP to me, wife found my MMSLP book and has never stopped shaming me for it (told her that this book saved our marriage because it made me realize she's not a psychotic bitch and that worked for a while. Although now she throws it in my face when ever things go south because it's weak that men have to read books in order to learn how to handle women).

Fast forward a couple years...

Things are going a lot better for me and I've seemingly overcome her discovery of my RP studies. She wants to go to Hawaii for her cousin's wedding. I don't want to go because I'm trying to get finances in order and staying home with the kids will save me 3k. So I take a vacation to allow her to go on vacation. I did expect her to be more appreciative and do more around the house before she left. Last day before she left I asked that she complete all the laundry before she leaves so me and the kids would be set for clothes. She says "how dare you talk to me like that, who did you think you are?" I said "I'm the guy who pays the bills and I like clean clothes." She may have been entering the PMS stage (she has PMDD and is irritable 3 out of 4 weeks) or setting up a fight to justify cheating while in vacation. She leaves for Hawaii and rents a place on the beach with her mom and her Mom's boyfriend for this wedding. Everything is all good and me and the kids FaceTime with her Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday. Saturday is the wedding and we don't hear from her. No big deal. I FaceTime her Sunday morning at 7:30 my time, 1:30 Hawaii time. No answer. No big deal probably sleeping. She FaceTimes us 20 min later and says that her aunt just dropped her off back home (her aunt's nearly 60 and wouldn't likely have been partying that late. The wedding was at 4, reception 5:30). She's in bed but with fresh makeup on (she actually says "I just got home, can you see how fresh my makeup is") and not that drunk, and in a great mood. We say goodnight and all is well.

Next day she doesn't answer FaceTime. 24 hours go by with no response from her. She texts me with "sorry I missed your calls". We FaceTime her on Monday and she says that she was hung over all day and night on Saturday and could not talk. I ignore my suspicions and the kids are happy to see her. Before we conclude the call she says there is a towel on her bed because she was so drunk last night that she shit herself in her sleep (did not say this in front of the kids).

She calls me back at 10pm my time when the kids are sleeping and wants to chat. This is odd because it's never happened before. She never just calls to chat with me. I hear her mom in background say "who are you talking with" in an angry voice. She says "my husband", and I hear her mom say "oh hi! How is he?!!!"- clearly happy that it's me. My wife then proceeds to be very sweet to me on the phone the whole conversation. I say to her "You're not going to come home and just talk about how cool Hawaii is for two weeks, are you?" She says "not if you don't want me to I won't." And that's the end of that. Normally she would've said with confidence "hell yeah I'm going to talk about it, it's awesome!" We conclude the conversation and she makes sure to say "I love you" in that tone that will illicit a response.

She gets home after 8 days and is kind of bitchy. No big deal, trip home was 11 hours and jet lag is a bitch. Her mom and Mom's boyfriend come in the house when they drop her off and don't say much at all to me or the kids (very atypical of both of them). Her mom won't look me in the eye and doesn't reciprocate when I hug her (she just seems very awkward and ashamed). The entire time they were there it was like they were making sure everything was going to be cool between us, despite the fact that I hadn't let on that I was suspicious of anything yet.

I didn't plan on fucking her for a few weeks after the trip in case Maui Chad had a disease or something. I decide to initiate anyway on the first night because I'm horny despite all of this. Low and behold she's got a shaved pussy with 4 day old stubble. She never shaves her pussy.

I get kind of distant over the next few days and she starts to throw out the comfort tests. It's prime time PMS window and thinking about my poor kids so I pass this comfort test with flying colors. That night I go out to a bar with a buddy. I then set up a dinner at another couples house for both families on the following night. I put the whole thing together and make all of the food. Both wives are living it. My buddy's wife mentions to me in front of everyone how good I look and my wife doesn't take her hands off of me the rest of the night. I initiate again later that night but the sex is blah. She goes back to being somewhat bitchy.

2 days go by and I'm starting to recognize and let go of the covert contract I have about her not being grateful for the wonderful vacation I facilitated. She's been sending me texts about available houses in our area because she wants to move so I look into things. The houses in our area are way over valued so I look into renting a condo. She goes on the computer the next day and then texts me inquiring about why I'm looking into renting a condo. I tell her. She blows up at me and says I'm selfish for considering moving our kids into a small little condo in order to capitalize on this up market and make some money (putting us into a substantially better financial position). I tell her her it may only be for a couple years until the housing prices come back down. She goes all ape shit and says I don't love her and never have. I consider comfort test responses but I'm sick of doing this 3 weeks out of every month so my beta comes out and I tell her maybe I don't love her anymore and that all of her ungrateful bitchyness simply eroded our marriage to nothing. She throws out some Hail Marys hoping to make me feel bad for turning on her but I keep on track with the "maybe we'll be better off without each other" stuff because my beta is trying to break through but I want her to feel pain. I confront her about my Hawaii suspicions but she denies anything happened and says delusional. Offers no explanation as to why she would have shaved her pussy mid-vacation. She says she has to get out of the house. I tell her not going to happen because I'm going out. I take the family car to the bar and stay there for 5 hours or so (I drive a work truck that she can't drive so only one of us is leaving and she puts up no resistance to my taking it). The bar is full of old men and fat girls but I stay for dinner, drinks, and I flirt with the only good looking waitress there. Got home, wife gave me the silent treatment. I went to bed. Calling a lawyer tomorrow.

Update: Had a phone consultation with a lawyer today and I feel a lot better if the divorce goes down. Apparently I won't be as bad off financially as I thought, despite no pre-nup. Setting up an in-person meeting to discuss custody goals. As it gets more realistic though the less I want to go through with it. My wife knows how to push my buttons and I have a problem controlling my beta escapes in certain circumstances, which is what got me into this position. Yesterday I honestly could not see a way out of this with my wife ever giving me the level of respect that I will need. I'm now leaning towards continuing on my journey and just dealing with her disrespect and slowly flipping the script. I have no idea how I am going to talk my back while remaining some degree of frame