I found out my wife of 10 years has been going online to look for lawyers and has actually sought one out. I found out because she was using my computer ( which she never does)to look up lawyers and I looked through the history. Almost like she wanted me to find out rather than serve me.
I confronted and she said yes that I don’t listen to her, don’t validate her decisions, that I have no respect for her and wants a divorce. I immediately said ok, bring me the papers and I’ll sign them. She immediately acted surprised and said “ I don’t want to do this and I still love you” and she keeps sending me pics of us and family ( three kids). She even sent a pic of herself crying.
Now to me this screams shit test but goddamn is she being stubborn. Like I said she has contacted a lawyer and spoken to our financial advisor. The thing is she wants to work out custody/asset details first. I said, no I need to be served papers before we discuss to which she never replied.
She told me today that she loves me very much but is still adamant on divorce. I have been holding frame pretty good except a few slip ups where I said you should think about the kids and she is being selfish.
She wants to send the kids off tomorrow to grandmas so we can work out details of custody/assets to which I finally said “fine, let’s get it done”. What the hell is going here? Is this a massive shit test or not? What is the move here? I don’t want a divorce and am scared to get divorce raped.
I should note she is an admitted 6 and I am a 7 or a 7 1/2. Fairly attractive College wrestler who kept up body. I’m 43 she’s 36. I have been beta most of our marriage up until I swallowed rp in June. I suspect she is fearing the balance change but is really convince me divorce is imminent.
Also is it a wise move to try and work out custody and assets before a lawyer in case I do get served? Some people say it saves on lawyer costs, but some say not to. Thanks!
Edit: I got home from work, she is half tearing up and gives me a hug and says everything’s gonna be alright. Then talks about how holidays will suck this year. Welcome to my world. Btw, shes on the rag.