659,329 posts

I am obese

by red-sfpplus | October 10, 2018 | askMRP

15 upvotes

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I am obese.

I had my medical screening at work today. 5'10" at 220# puts me at 31% BMI which means I am an obese man.

I am completely devastated. I have not had sex with my wife since March of this year. This is probably why. Who wants to fuck a fatty?

I thought I was doing good. I have read the sidebar, I lift a few times a week, but I eat a fuck ton of food. Like enough for probably two people.

Doesn't matter what I do, I just cant stop eating all that pussy. Should I switch to eating ass?

I need some easy, quick wins and someone to take the blame for me being obese.

Should I go back to SL5x5?

What about Keto or IF?

There are so many choices, I do not know which one to make.

Please bros, help me!

PS: I am back bitches. ACL was a blast, my kidneys are recovering and it feels fucking great to be built AF and walk around a music festival with your shirt off and not look like 95% of the people there.

PSS: Fuck you BMI

PSSS: Fuck all these faggot posts in here by weak ass men who need to stop getting fucked in the ass by life.


Post Information
Title I am obese
Author red-sfpplus
Upvotes 15
Comments 51
Date 10 October 2018 04:15 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/203910
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/9n0vpg/i_am_obese/
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Comments

[–]RedPill-BlackLotusRed Beret12 points13 points  (9 children) | Copy

Switch to diet pussy. What you need to do is add volume without adding calories.

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red[S] 1 point2 points  (7 children) | Copy

Bro...My Bro...

Your tren joke was funny AF in the cuddles post.

I actually am doing a quick PCT in Oct before I blast off again in Nov.

So yeah, I actually did make that post after I stopped the tren.

Fuck all those downvotes you got. Shit was fresh.

[–]fuckmrpRed Beret0 points1 point  (6 children) | Copy

Curious why the quick PCT? Cruise dose or off completely?

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red[S] 0 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy

Cruise + Nova.

Last bloods were abnormal. But I blasted 4 weeks longer than planned so there is that. πŸ€·πŸ»β€β™‚οΈ

All good now. πŸ’ͺ🏻

Blast off again Nov 1.

[–]fuckmrpRed Beret0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

i hear yeah. I only allow myself 1-2 blasts per year to keep shit normal. I’m guessing you don’t get much sides either. So hard to stop when that tren treats you so well.

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

tren treats you so well

Tren treats me fantastic, but I have always ran a low dose (by comparative standards at /r/steroids)

I get night sweats, and dreams. But it levels me out way more. I get no uncontrollable aggression on it like most do.

Mentally - I am a super saiyan when I am on tren.

[–]fuckmrpRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Pretty much the same for me but fuck those night sweats man my side of the bed starts to smell like a fucking ferret cage

[–]RedPill-BlackLotusRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I have the form here for bloods, I'm giving my liver a few weeks to cool off before I freak out my doctor. Hammered the shit out of it this summer. Was a lot of fun.

Love your stuff lately red. Keep it up.

[–]JudgeDoom6911 points12 points  (2 children) | Copy

Shitty Life Pro Tip: Contract HIV for rapid weight loss

[–]mindfulbutgutlessRed Beret4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

heard anorexia is also effective, or bulimia

[–]BluepillProfessorMod / Red Beret4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Tapeworm.

[–]BobbyPeruRed Beret9 points10 points  (1 child) | Copy

Just eat the clit - it’s the salad of pussy

[–]thunderbeyond0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

fucking lol

[–]PersaeusRed Beret7 points8 points  (6 children) | Copy

had my annual medical screening last week 29 BMI (it's not a percentage dumbass). i always use it as a jumping off point to game the screening thots. last year i went with abs (lifted my shirt, and said "thank god, my abs are still there"). this year i flex'ed my arms and went with "you arguing with the guns"

less angst, more fun bro

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red[S] 3 points4 points  (5 children) | Copy

it's not a percentage dumbass

Got me.

It was kinda a 1:2 punch. They call me back. The guy starts to read my results...goes something like this:

Mr Red - well great news - your blood work is perfect, however your BMI is 31 which indicates you are obese.............but now that I have seen you in person, I wouldnt worry about it. You easily have 5-10 extra pounds of muscle on you.

I wanted to yell! Just 5-10? WTF is wrong with you and hulk rip my shirt off...

But I took the kick to the balls and left...

feelzbadman.

[–]PersaeusRed Beret0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

the really interesting thing is: where is all this screening going? my guess is being a fat fuck is going to get expensive.

we've been doing this for five years. first was informational. next was pay a penalty if you don't participate (get a discount if you do . . . LOL). next was pay a penalty if you volunteer that you're using tobacco. this years was a mouth swab to prove your tobacco free. i'm guessing the next shoe to drop will be blood sugar because it makes sense; and is completely controllable.

i hope we get the bodpod soon. we already have one on-plant; and i participate in a %bodyfat competitive group.

[–]becoming_alpha0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

I saw the same thing happening at the fortune 50 company I work for. I thought these screenings would soon turn into more hefty premiums for more hefty workers. They actually pivoted this year and started charging higher premiums for higher wage earners, so I get to subsidize health insurance for the legitimately obese who are inviting heart disease and diabetes.

I wish they'd charge premiums based on health because that could motivate some broad behavior changes to bring down costs for all of us. Amazon seems to be heading that way though. The nurse doing our screening said Amazon only gathers waist circumference data in their screening, but Amazon has always been ruthless.

[–]PersaeusRed Beret0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

charging higher premiums for higher wage earners

da fuq, goddamn communist. i'm all for health based premium. it's the only way people are going to take any ownership for their health and healthcare cost. i'm also in favor of co-pays. it has definitely made me more cost conscious.

i'll probably get a "high-risk" fee for skiing and all the other shit i do.

can't say it's deserved. getting set to fuck em' to death next year with surgery (maybe more than one) and other work. that's how i manage it. do nothing for a few years and then go crazy after blowing through the cap

[–]becoming_alpha1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

i'm all for health based premium.

Yeah, that's the way to do it if insurers have the balls. The trick is finding a marker of health that would work as BMI is obviously problematic. Amazon probably has it figured out with waist circumference.

Yo u/red-sfpplus, as our resident obese man, what's your waist size?

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

waist size?

Here are my measurements:

No pump:

18" bicep

14" forearm

17" calf

27" quad

38" waist at belly button

36" hip bone

45" chest

220 pounds 5-10”

I deadlift over 550# for reps.

This was a shitpost.

[–]johneyapocalypseThe one that says "Bad Motherfucker"2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

lol

[–]drty_prRed Beret2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I'm riding a fine line at 5'8" and 195lbs. 5lbs more and I'm obese. Scary stuff.

[–]becoming_alpha2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

easy, quick wins

Sounds like you're carrying too much weigh in your arms. That can lead to balance problems being too top-heavy. You need to transfer that weight from your biceps to your midsection. There's a chain of treatment centers called Krispy Kreme, there should be one near you that can help. Once you put on a few inches, you'll fit much better in society and won't have to deal with all that unwanted attention you've been suffering from.

[–]MrChad_ThundercockBig Red Machine3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

I hate sitting next to fat people on a flight.

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Me to brah.

[–]Reach180Red Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

You'd look better at 205.

[–]Two_kids_in_a_coat1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

Have you tried cocaine?

I think Asian pussy is lower in calories.

[–]PersaeusRed Beret1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Asian pussy is lower in calories

can confirm

[–]The_LitzRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Become a 1%'er and go Ethiopian, lowest cal. count guaranteed.

[–]civilizedfrog1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I stopped trying to help people lose weight. People always ask how I lost weight so quickly and ask me to "coach" them. I tell them the basic plan and then later I see them drinking soda in a cup the size of a bucket and have 6 slices of pizza. They can't be helped . No willpower in people these days.

[–]SteelSharpensSteelMod / Red Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I hear there are chicks at Weight Watchers...

[–]nabosch1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Stop eating so much you fat fuck

[–]spexer1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Man, I was going to post for the first time in ages just to rip you a new one, and then the punchline hit! Welcome back, and good to see you doing well.

PS - 3rd name change? Did you get doxed or id it due to the drama over at TRP?

[–]screechhaterRed Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I'm sorry your so fucking fat, just remember when you start to make a change, make it a healthy life choice, just don't pick any fad diet.

Careful as you don't want any loose skin as you lose that BMI

[–]BluepillProfessorMod / Red Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Rian and the boys once told me it is not how much you work out, but how much you stuff in your face, that determines your BMI. Every single miligram of fat on your body got there through your mouth.

[–]2ndalRed Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

welcome back fatty

[–]jakethesnake50001 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Quit being fat troll. No one likes fat people, especially women. Ever notice how there’s only one type of man a woman wants (tall, muscular, not a fat ass)? Yet, men settle for all kinds of weird fetishes like midgets and land whales.

[–]wkndatbernardus2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

This is a great point. I'm not quite sure it's men who are the biggest anti-fatty sex.

[–]ReddJiveRed Beret0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

I don't put much stock into BMI. At my leanest I was never cut. Some have seen my pic from the beginning of the summer....no cut. I've bulked up lifting some serious weight now and dropping weight back down for a lower class.

I am 6'4" 283. Don't know what my BMI is but my BF is 19%. It's a process and I have goals to meet. She's along for the ride or not.

[–]PurpleVeteranRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

6’4” 275. Doing my biometric shit next week, but I got an easy 20lbs on my gut. I really am a fat fuck.

Pushing through to my goal of 4 plate squat and 275 bench for my RP anniversary in Feb, then time to cut at a 500 cal deficit until it’s all gone.

[–]hystericalbonding0 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy

Own your shitpost.

If you don't already have life insurance, be aware that insurance companies use BMI, and they don't care if it's muscle. Guaranteed insurability benefit riders are helpful for healthy guys who are planning to take BMI over 25 in the future.

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red[S] 0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

I do have life insurance, but I didnt get the best rate due to BMI. So yeah, fuck BMI.

There is literally nothing I can do about it.

I would rather be in the 1300# club than save $200 a year on my term life :)

[–]hystericalbonding0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

For guys who haven't committed yet, you'll get a better rate if you cut from 30 to 29, or 25 to 24. Some have additional tiers for 35, 40, etc. The importance of BMI also varies between companies, so independent brokers can be helpful to provide multiple estimates.

[–]amalgamator0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Or you can just cut weight like a UFC fighter. Google it. Those guys can cut 25lbs of water/glycogen. The paramed doesn’t care if you are a cheater.

[–]hystericalbonding0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Making weight causes all kinds of fluid and electrolyte issues that would mess up the blood work. For example, elevated creatinine would raise your insurance rates significantly.

[–]amalgamator2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Just lifting can cause elevated liver enzymes that will get you too...I learned that one the hard way (pointless liver biopsy in my 20s, ugh)

[–]thunderbeyond0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Awww you're not fat... there's just more of you to love!

[–]maxofreddit0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Keto fucking works for weight loss. It’s NOT a performance approach to nutrition (as in you’re not going to win any 5K’s). But I know more than a few people personally who’ve dropped 40+ pounds using it.

Wait... what’s up with those PSsss ... did you already figure this out?

[–]GC0W30Fat, needs discipline0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

I was way fatter than you are now and getting pussy.

You should lose the weight, but I think it's the being a bitch part that's keeping your wife dry.

[–]Reach180Red Beret7 points8 points  (1 child) | Copy

I think it's the being a bitch part that's keeping your wife dry.

I'm gonna bet there's a different reason he's not fucking his wife.

[–]hack3geRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Haha hard to fuck something that doesn't exist - oh wait isn't that what that VR shit is for?



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