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UPDATE: Crunch Time

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discard9090
August 25, 2018
22 upvotes
askMRP

Original post: https://reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/98jsip/crunch_time/

So my refusal to let my gf, her son and her cat move in with me, from day one, into my new house has led to her deciding to end the relationship.

My apparent lack of "generosity" in this regard and my "fears and doubts" about having her move in immediately with me was just too much of a "painful rejection" for her.

This is a woman who refused to visit in my old place for the last three months as it was too " shitty" for her. But then all of a sudden wants to spend more time together as soon as I move to a shiny new place.

She can no longer feel happy and open around me. She wants a bf who says yes not no, who is "flexible and not rigid".

It is what it is I suppose. I don't feel great about this turn of events and am resisting the urge to just give in and tell her to move in.

It's definitely highlighted my oneitis, verging on an addictive quality.

Time to come back to myself and keep focused on what I need to do.


Post Information
Title UPDATE: Crunch Time
Author discard9090
Upvotes 22
Comments 40
Date 25 August 2018 01:30 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/204079
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/9a33b4/update_crunch_time/
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[–]matrixtospartanatLVRed Beret27 points28 points  (9 children) | Copy

So here you are.

That damn forest.

It’s so beautiful but now, there’s too many fucking trees in the way to see it!

Look, you’re RP. You can’t quit, give up, or walk away. It’s in you.

And you KNOW, even if you DID take her in now, the relationship you had, would still be dead.

Your frame would be gone, she’d have power she would ultimately resent having and lose respect for you.

The universe has given you a gift.

Accept it, gratefully and graciously, and..

DO NOT GIVE IT BACK!

Let’s look at this from the other side, you are an awesome motherfucker. You have shit going on and wired tight. You ARE the PRIZE.

One woman. One pussy.

That’s all she is. One. Let it go.

Are you seriously contemplating throwing away your shit over, ONEITIS?

Life has a lot of questions.

I’ll give you a hint:

The answers are SIMPLE.

SIMPLE does NOT equal EASY.

It’s hard to let her go. I know. I have to let my hypergamous hot wife go. It’s not easy, but it is..SIMPLE.

So, suck it up, buttercup.

You can, and will, do better.

You will thank you.

Your sons will thank you.

And WE will thank you when you post an FR in four months about the newest plate in your life, and how unbelievable she is.

One last point...if you only have one plate, that’s called a girlfriend.

You got this. You swallowed the pill.

You already got your shit together.

Now keep it together, for you, your boys, and all of us that believe this shit really works, because...

IT FUCKING DOES.

end pep talk.

[–]discard9090[S] 2 points3 points  (8 children) | Copy

Thanks man. It's been a bit of a rough weekend, hard to not look back and the future isn't in clear focus. I can feel my doubts and lack of abundance pulling me down but I keep coming back to the comments here for strength.

Like I mentioned elsewhere, I really let this woman get under my skin and it feels like quitting a drug.

In discussing this with her, whilst trying to avoid DEER'ing to the best of my ability, her level of upset is off the Richter scale. The whole thing is just nuts. She hates that I go to the gym, that I meditate, am busy much of the time and that I spend time with my kids. She claims that she understands why I am busy but feels very much a second class citizen in my life and that she is not a priority. Maybe she is right and I haven't provided much comfort. I don't know, maybe I played the whole thing wrong. I do know that I have increasingly found her demands on my time and attention frustrating and she knows this. Having said that, most of my free time apart from the above mentioned activities has been spent with her.

[–]matrixtospartanatLVRed Beret4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

“I can feel my doubts and lack of abundance pulling me down but I keep coming back to the comments here for strength.”

Why?

Not because of your dick. It likes getting wet in that hole.

Not because of your heart. You caught feelz for this one, and that’s ok. It’s the price you pay to play.

YOU COME BACK HERE FOR STRENGTH BECAUSE IN YOUR MIND, YOU KNOW WHAT’S RIGHT.

‘...I really let this woman get under my skin and it feels like quitting a drug.’

You are absolutely correct.

In his first tome, RT in TRM explains the chemical process of ‘love.’ Your EX-girlfriend is nothing more than a crack dealer. She got you hooked on her ‘crack’, pun intended, and now she is going to cut you off if you don’t comply with her demands. Wow. That’s a real ‘loving’ woman. I know I have this to look forward to. I AM the prize. Taped to MY mirror is, “24 years, $1.4million.” That’s what thinking like you, right now, COST me. Never, ever, again.

“She hates that I go to the gym, that I meditate, am busy much of the time and that I spend time with my kids.”

You just read that last quote.

Read it again....

Again.

AGAIN!

She hates who you ARE.

She wants to CHANGE you.

AND IF YOU DO, she will NO LONGER WANT YOU, because you’ll be some beta variant of the alpha she had.

SHE DOESN’T WANT HER TURN TO END.

SHE HAS INVESTED so much in you. She has waited while you lifted yourself out of a shitty apartment into a nice house. And now, she wants HER REWARD.

And what does she want again?

She wants to move into your house and make YOUR YOUNGEST SON UNCOMFORTABLE IN HIS OWN HOME. I had a blended family with 6 boys. You’re a piece of shit if you let this happen. I was married to a woman who made my sons uncomfortable. Beta me allowed that shit because I was WEAK, and I wanted to keep the peace. I DID NOT DO THE RIGHT THING. Now, one of my sons is dead, and SHE BRANCH SWUNG ANYWAY.

Do the right thing because it’s the right thing to do. Fuck the consequences. I should have divorced her when she was making half my kids miserable. Back to you...

“Maybe she is right and I haven’t provided much comfort. I don’t know, maybe I played the whole thing wrong.”

From HER PERSPECTIVE, she IS RIGHT, and you did PLAY THE WHOLE THING WRONG.”

But that’s HER perspective.

If you agree with it, that you did it wrong, and it can all be fixed by listening to her and doing it her way, then do it. Jump off that cliff I mentioned in my first comment. Is she REALLY going to catch you? She CAN’T.

That movie has been made millions of times. You want to know what happens to men who live in their woman’s frame? Go read the last 100 posts in r/deadbedrooms.

I’m not fucking kidding. If there is even a shred of doubt about leaving this solipsistic bitch, go read 100 different variations of what you even consider now...manicide. (I just made that shit up..manicide..you’re fucking killing me.)

Here’s the bottom line.

She is bad for your kid, bad for your house (a cat, really?), and bad for you as a man.

She is a drug, like ecstasy, heroin, crystal meth, but most of all, crack. Because she’s the dealer and now she is trying to control you with the supply.

MAN THE FUCK UP AND STOP BEING A PUSSY!

Now, you need to read THE RATIONAL MALE again, right now.

I didn’t even get into how you should NEVER COHABITATE with a woman.... just read it this week.

I’m serious man, you are the man I want to become.

You don’t have to become a pussy to have pussy.

You get pussy by not being a pussy.

And REAL, masculine men?

Pussy finds THEM.

Now, put your big boy panties on and quit fucking around before you give away everything you’ve worked so hard for.

end rant

[–]discard9090[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Damn. Thanks for your time and effort - it's appreciated.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy

You have your kids and your own life and she’s just a gf so, yeah, she’s second class to you.

[–]matrixtospartanatLVRed Beret0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

Well, that was perfect in its simplicity.

Just perfect.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

Sarcasm? I’m old so I can never tell on the internet.

[–]matrixtospartanatLVRed Beret1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

No sarcasm.

It was really good.

If he took that one nugget to heart,

He wouldn’t have any doubt

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Got it

[–]NoCoast8211 points12 points  (6 children) | Copy

Do not date single moms, that has to be red pill 101 right?

[–]MrChad_ThundercockBig Red Machine10 points11 points  (1 child) | Copy

Don’t get oneitis with a single mom for sure.

Ok to play single mom Game (SMGtm ) They tend to fuck hard and on their best behavior for the right Alpha - since they are seeking a father figure for their child. Play the glitch for what it is. They can be very appreciative. Pump and dump. Don’t turn into a little bitch though.

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

Cant stress this enough.

Single moms are hella fun provided you FULLY understand the game and how to play.

No code. No single moms.

Give me a 35 single mom over a 28yo InstaSlut any day.

[–]matrixtospartanatLVRed Beret0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

For clarity, does this apply to single Dads, too?

[–]NoCoast821 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Does being a single dad make you less of a prize? No girls eat that shit up. And you want a "mixed family"? This ain't the Brady Bunch

[–]matrixtospartanatLVRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah, I fucked that up.

Just wanted your take.

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

As a single Dad who owns his shit.......

I would wager I get treated better by women looking/hoping to lock me down than HB9’s do by men who want to fuck them.

[–]MrChad_ThundercockBig Red Machine8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

This is a girlfriend.

What the fuck happened to working on your abundance mentality?

Fit, Successfull?

“Time to come back to myself and keep focused on what I need to do.”

Yes.

You are the Prize. Start acting like it faggot.

[–]weakandsensitive7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

Just read your first post. She's a 46 year old entitled woman. Gross. How the fuck did you decide that that entitled cunt deserves to be your girlfriend? My buddy moved into a new house yesterday and his 7-month pregnant wife (baby #2) was going around carrying stuff, packing, and unpacking, and a whole bunch of other stuff - not the heavy stuff but still. Two full days of this. So I'm here reading about you doing all this on your own thinking -- the fuck is wrong with this guy?

My apparent lack of "generosity" in this regard and my "fears and doubts" about having her move in immediately with me was just too much of a "painful rejection" for her.

Not sure how her feelings are all of a sudden your fucking problem.

"Great. I'm glad you have clarity. See ya later!"

There is literally nothing here that I'd be upset at. The whole notion of someone inviting themselves to come live in my house, and then getting upset when they're told no, is so laughable.

Let her have her travelling pants dream. Go bang some 35 year old milfs instead.

She wants a bf who says yes not no, who is "flexible and not rigid".

Reminds of this scene from Pulp Fiction. "What does Marcellus Wallace look like?" .. "Does ... he ... look ... like ... a ... bitch?!"

[–]Tebulus6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

resisting the urge to just give in and tell her to move in.

Dont grasp at smoke, faggot. Its already gone and over with. If you do break, fuck you. You deserve it. You dodged a bullet early and got some bitchin advice from Matrix and UEM in your original thread. Take that and run with it.

[–]SteelSharpensSteelMod / Red Beret5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

I’m thinking you need a cigar and some high quality scotch now. Dodged a bullet, you did.

On to Tinder, Bumble, and time to get out there. Your next FR better be you getting laid in less than two weeks.

[–]BobbyPeruRed Beret5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Her:

She can no longer feel happy and open around me. She wants a bf who says yes not no, who is "flexible and not rigid".

You;

Great, I hope you find him. Ba-bye.

In one of Bill Burr’s specials he says he tells his woman to go down to Applebee’s to find “even-keel” Mr. right.

Bill Burr

[–]WesternhagenWinner3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

2.5 years, it was time to throw that plate in the fireplace anyway.

"Flexibility means doing what you want? Kthanksbye."

You dodged a huge bullet. Stay strong!

[–]light-----------dark6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

She wants a bf who says yes not no, who is “flexible and not rigid”.

So she wants a beta bux while she rides around the CC.

You didn’t cave, and now she’s leaving - brilliant. Now you have the time to get back to work, so that when she comes back you can do whatever the fuck you want - on your terms with 4 other women on the side.

[–]justpickanyusernameRed Beret5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Her script here was to come up with a concocted reason to move in with you and lock you down. After 2.5 years she wanted full commitment and to cement her position. This last bit of her “ending it” is a Hail Mary on her part. If you are worth a damn she will crack and come back. If not, then you have dodged a bullet because she was seeking you as a provider more than anything. As others have said, resist the urge to reach out. Ghost her and move on. She may come around eventually, but you have a green light to pursue other options.

[–]nonnimooseWoman, something something dark side5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Go back and read this response whenever you feel yourself wavering: https://www.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/98jsip/crunch_time/e4ihmxe/

I am around single women this age all the time and the sentence in caps (YOU ARE WHAT THEY ARE ALL LOOKING FOR) could not be more true. I hope you celebrate her departure with your 16 year old son who she did not get along with (how dare she?).

Be prepared for her return; she most surely will be back. IME, when someone gives a list of your supposed faults as the reasons for breaking up they always come back. When people are truly done with a relationship they either ghost or give the "it's not you, it's me" line.

[–]BIG_HUB3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Dodged a bullet man.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

"resisting the urge to just give in and tell her to move in."

In short, hand over your balls and then apologize for not doing it sooner. After all, her bf isn't allowed think for himself and doesn't resist being manipulated.

Why would you consider bringing that into your home?

[–]PersaeusRed Beret3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

She’ll be back . Ffs get some plates before that happens

[–]RuleZeroDADRed Beret5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

OPA!

Get some new plates. Hopefully without the accompanying cups and saucers next time.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

You won, bro. Your princess is in another castle. Don't worry.

[–]dandar46002 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy

It's definitely highlighted my oneitis

The first step is to admit that you have a problem. Good job.

[–]matrixtospartanatLVRed Beret1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

And honestly, if that becomes his last step, he’s fucked.

Let’s hope he keeps steppin’!

[–]discard9090[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I hear you but to be honest, for some reason this woman has just got under my skin. I don't know why but damn, it's hard to quit her.

[–]SepeanRed Beret2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I don't feel great about this turn of events and am resisting the urge to just give in and tell her to move in.

She has in no uncertain terms shown you how little you mean to her. If she liked you she'd put up with a ton of shit to be with you, but this woman just dumped you because you didn't fit neatly in her plan.

Move on, and work on yourself, up that SMV.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I read your first post. Other than great sex, you do not mention anything great about her. If she is the only woman you can get, I guess you're screwed. But wait, maybe there a few billion other women out there, that might like you enough to add more to your life than she does, and some great sex too.

Aren't you glad you bought that house, so you can stop wasting time on this woman.

[–]RedPillCoach1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

She wants a bf who says yes not no,

That must make the breakup easier for you. Dodged a bullet. She does not want to submit to a man. She wants a man to submit to her so she can drain him into a dried out husk. Then she will move on to the next man to harvest.

Congratulations!

You are immortal again. Omnipotent!

[–]adeptintact0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

If you're in your 30s, don't date single moms. That's one of Leykis' rules and one red pill theory that it's equivalent to cuckolding.

The fact that she wanted her son to move in with you to me says it all.

[–]oytrp0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You must feel light as a feather unloading all that baggage.

[–]bourbonhipster0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You sound angry. Do you need a hug?

[–]griz3lda-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

case 1: she's a hassle and a golddigger, let her move on to someone else to scam

case 2: if you for some reason determine she is genuinely into you, good for you, etc, see the following:

If it were me with my gf, I would keep being nice to her (within reason-- I'm a bit of a lovebomber but with immobile boundaries) like nothing was happening. Do not take on any of the burden of implementing a situation you don't want. She may of her own accord present to you some hedging content about what would allow her to agree to your decision and still have the relationship (ie what you want)-- in that case, hear her out and maybe you'll be able to tweak her suggestions such that they're acceptable to you and make her a counteroffer. Being RP doesn't mean you can't care about maintaining your relationship if it's quality-- by all means, throw her some bones that don't matter to you (you can even pretend that this is a big compromise but one that you are willing to put the work in on, heh) as long as you're not compromising on the main thing. It sounds like she's invested if she's so sensitive to this perceived "rejection"-- I would assure her that on the contrary, this isn't a rejection but is actually you setting your world up in such a way that you will be ABLE to maintain a worthwhile relationship, not one that is doomed to failure because you are not taking care of your own needs. It's like "Put your own airmask on first"-- you simply cannot ignore the realistic conditions of what will allow you to succeed in a relationship, and your relationship is too valuable to you (here's the affirming part for her) for you to carelessly allow circumstances to destroy it when you know full well what your wellbeing [currently] requires.

(Can you tell I just went through this? 😏)



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