The tears flowed last night

SteelToeShitKicker · 2018-07-16T02:32:12+00:00

For reference, this is the guy who wants to get married more than his girl, and his girl is the one that keeps skipping out on meetings with him.

justpickanyusername · 2018-07-16T03:30:10+00:00

I think your fiancé is right to reconsider marriage with you.

UnbreakableFrame · 2018-07-16T03:44:59+00:00

You are acting way too rambo. The getting out of bed to drive around at 10pm move is pretty lame (I did this once during the throws of my anger phase, too). Acting angry, butthurt, and passive aggressive is not having frame. Your top priority should be delaying this marriage right now and trying to find some emotional stability. You are still in the clutches of early TRP fury and need some time to collect yourself. It took me about 5 months to simmer down.

I know it's easy to assume that we know as much about your relationship as you do and that we should "get it". However, you kind of come off as a pissed off toddler in this post. I'm sure you are a great dude just caught in the storm of realizing AWALT and hypergamy like all of us, but seriously take a step back and read your post as if someone else had written it.

To me, frame is about being exciting and tranquil at the same time. It's being the guy who brings the fun, but also the sense of direction. It's more about diffusal than deflection. It's about creating your own journey, rather than complaining about the journey you are on.

nastynickdr · 2018-07-16T03:53:52+00:00

You again? All the advice you needed you got on the previous threads. If you are not following it just marry her and enjoy your shitty marriage and dead bedroom.

Also seems like you are autistic, you ever had a doctor check that for you?

simbarlion · 2018-07-16T04:48:54+00:00

Dude, you're going to get flamed here, based on your post history, lack of frame, lack of respect (from her) and shotgun Rambo nature. I am going to give you some advice, cause i have been there.

Just calm the fuck down.

You can't turn this thing around in the timeframe your hoping. I am guessing you have set the wedding date as a mental d-day by which you have to have your RP relationship on point, sex on demand. Its not going to happen. Your just scaring the fuck out of her. You have a month per year of being together minimum, and that depends on how alpha you were to start off. Don't go into a marriage with such uncertainty and tension between you.
You can't control this woman through getting upset that she is not doing what you want, hoping if you are upset often enough she will "learn". You are going to have to learn to be a man who she WANTS to please and do 'the right thing' for. It takes time.

If there is one thing this place taught me that works for me...Be attractive, Don't be unattractive. Be the fun easy going guy. Be the trustworthy "I'll handle it" guy. Have a mission and activities above and beyond the relationship. Attractiveness is not just physical. Your non-physical unnattractiveness is making me gag.

Take a few days off from the battle. Recentre yourself. Be cool.

Ask yourself what you are doing that is unnattractive to her (read your posts again).

creating_my_life · 2018-07-16T02:28:10+00:00

And you're getting married why again?

BobbyPeru · 2018-07-16T04:07:17+00:00

You’re sending mixed signals everywhere.

You are not anywhere near ready for marriage

Postpone it and use her for practice, but I suspect that would cause a breakup. But at this point why would you care. This chick rules you and you live in her frame.. she has zero respect for you.

So again, what value does she add?

The_Litz · 2018-07-16T09:33:40+00:00

This wedding is taking its toll on you now.

Right now you are seeing everything as a win or a lose. Stop trying to win arguments, at home and on here. It is the ego kicking in. Kill the ego.

In your case, with your current frame, stopping sex is not going to work. You need her to be in your frame, not you in hers.

On a previous post I mentioned to you that you are taking your cues from the environment and reacting to others inputs. You are still doing it, reacting to what others throw at you, both at home and here.

Slow down, way down. I get the idea you are trying to start your marriage on the right footing. From where I stand I only see someone trying to catch a falling knife.

man_in_the_world · 2018-07-16T07:34:36+00:00

As well as leaving the house the other night after she hard “no’d” at 10pm

This is a misunderstanding of Dread Level 4 and is not what is recommended by /u/BluepillProfessor, who created the MRP 12-level Dread sequence.

I just went and drove around until 11:30. ... Told her I went “out” hamster went crazy. She keeps coming back to it. And I broken record or fog that I went out. Literally. I was outside (driving around)

This is retarded beta dread that lowers your RMV without increasing your SMV. It's counterproductive. Don't do this stupid Rambo shit; read SALSM and apply Dread correctly before needlessly blowing up your marriage.

mrpthrowa · 2018-07-16T07:48:42+00:00

Dude the first thing you should do is cancel the wedding.

If this is how things are before the wedding, guess how it will be afterwards.

Your frame really sucks as well. You don't have one.

shinolas · 2018-07-16T10:13:52+00:00

So much cringe

FoxShitNasty83 · 2018-07-16T06:42:38+00:00

And I thought it was me that was most likely to go rambo. Congrats, try shuting the fuck up more.

SBIII · 2018-07-16T11:16:57+00:00

As the saying goes - "tears make the best lube".

31Olives · 2018-07-16T16:48:50+00:00

Wow! Enormous red flag. You are not married yet and are getting duty sex. Eject, Eject, Eject!

yesbuthereswhy · 2018-07-16T17:30:33+00:00

Why don’t you respond to the questions and comments here?

BluepillProfessor · 2018-07-16T18:33:41+00:00

At one point it came to “it feels like you’re just doing things, that you don’t even need me”

Nice dread! Now is the time for comfort and reassurance. Will OP do that?

Told her she’s right and then I asked her what value she brought to the table.

I guess not.

Should I have used that opportunity to tell her that her value is to give quality sex?

This is a plate you are talking about right? Or a sugar baby? Oh, whoops.

She also asked about getting our wedding bands.....Me: I’ll get sized two weeks before the wedding.

So wait till the last minute and if there are any adjustments needed we will worry about that right before the wedding? Is this leadership or just you Shit Testing your woman? I have some ideas.

wkndatbernardus · 2018-07-16T04:12:20+00:00

Homie, why are you even considering marriage at all, let alone to this disrespectful B, unless you are A) religious or B) a male golddigger? It makes zero sense to sign on the line that is dotted in today's day and age unless you think you'll go to hell if you don't or she makes considerably more money than you.

When she mentioned how she didn't know if she wanted to get married to you anymore, you should have seized that opportunity like you were the New York Yankees and A-Rod was beginning to talk about retirement. "Oh really? That's a shame. We'll play a compilation of your highlights on the Jumbo Tron and call it a career, ok?"

mtwinemn · 2018-07-16T03:43:16+00:00

[deleted] · 2018-07-16T17:05:12+00:00

ok. i've seen this word enough and i still don't know what it means. what the fuck is starfish sex? i'm sure it means lazy or something but how exactly?

ploppylumpkins · 2018-07-16T17:05:32+00:00

Even without all the red flags I would still say don’t get married!

Get the fuck out now brother!

Or suck it up and be a cuck.

CaptJohnLukeDiscard · 2018-07-16T17:48:49+00:00

You left the house with nowhere to go at 10p because she hard no'd you?

What the fuck do you not understand about outcome independence? What you is basically the same as when my four year old runs away crying when her brother won't play with her. It's just worse because YOU ARE SUPPOSEDLY A GROWN ASS MAN.

Go read Jack10's post about this shit. Find the relevant post yourself... it breaks down how storming off isn't OI... it's being a butthurt bitch.

Here's a clue on OI... if you are doing something you wouldn't normally do at that time / situation, then it is NOT OUTCOME INDEPENDENCE.

mtwinemn · 2018-07-16T18:37:05+00:00

I’ve read his posts. And the bluepillprof on dread. Again. I’m being an idiot and going Rambo and autistic anger. I re read my posts and I see that I’m not doing things slowly. I’m all over the place. Going to move ahead with a positive attitude. Not sure what else to post it either gets shot down or into a pissing contest. Continue reading, lurking and chill the fuck out.

Title	The tears flowed last night
Author	mtwinemn
Upvotes	0
Comments	42
Date	July 16, 2018 2:23 AM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askMRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/8z76nw/the_tears_flowed_last_night/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askMRP/the-tears-flowed-last-night.204210 https://theredarchive.com/post/204210

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