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6 Month Progress - The Good and Bad

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May 10, 2018
10 upvotes

6'4, 205lbs, 12.5%BF. 8 year married, 1.5 year old and 5 year old. I dont know my 1RM but using the following for 5x5's 95 press, 145 bench, 245 deadlift, 135 squat (struggling with form/knee issues)

There has been some changes in my life which include;

  1. Wife poking my chest and arms randomly wondering if the muscles are real. During sex she will grab my pecs or triceps and can clearly see her being turned on. A "omg" was heard under her breath. Went from sad handjobs (to keep my drip requirements met) to BJ/swallowing again. I cringe at the old day me; Once i asked her "can you put it in your mouth" and she said "I could" but continued to just jerk me off to completion. After all the changes, and me telling her what I want its happening without question. She is constantly referring to my muscles throughout the week
  2. Noticing that after only 3-4 months of dedicated lifting I am the fittest person in any room at about a 95% average. Just came back from a water park and I must have been the fittest dad in the place. Also noticed my wife's friends checking me out during this weekend.
  3. Covert contracts are gone. I no longer clean the house/kitchen in hopes of getting a blowjob when my wife discovers a shiny room. I now clean it because I want a clean house... and if later in the day i want some sex i will initiate without relation to prior 'brownie points'
  4. Wife's nagging has decreased and it almost feels like MY nagging has increased. Now that i stopped caring about her feelings or walking around on egg shells i started to assert how I want my life to be. I used to put up with cleanliness and organization problems because it never bothered her... but now I realize that it really bothers me and I am trying to get her to prioritize things better. I'm trying to find the balance between being 'fun and manly' but still telling her to 'clean up your shit'
  5. Starting the days, or encounters, with the 'reset' button has been great. Typically I would let the previous days attitudes or bitchiness leech into the next day. Now I just act like nothing has happened and my wife reacts as if nothing has happened. Its a head scratcher but works.
  6. Just listening without trying to problem solve has resulted in her thinking I am more compassionate and caring then before. Oddly I care less now
  7. The gym has become my mental and physical temple. Its the one hour I get to think, push myself, and get better. I dont spend my time at the gym, like 90% of the people there, finger fucking my phone more than lifting weights. It feels damn good
  8. I stopped the beta foreplay games (massages, rubbing her foot) – now when I want sex I just escalate to it. A few times recently she got into bed facing away from me and I just pulled down her pants and she was very into it. Beta Steve from 2 years ago would have never thought that was a possibility. One night I was exhausted but she was on her phone looking at Instagram and I just said “well, if you’re going to keep me up with that phone in my face…” and proceeded to pull her pants off. She liked it

Things I still struggle with:

  1. Haven't figured out my mission or purpose. For now I am focused on my children, lifting, and improving myself and by extension, my marriage. We have a new house so dealing with moving, selling and when we get the new place I plan on managing all the bills/financing. Job is good but looking for something new within the company. Already at Senior Management level with good pay but need to be challenged more
  2. Not getting butthurt has always been a problem. I've gotten a lot better with sexual rejection and just let it bounce off me but its the comments/attitude from my wife that seems to linger longer. I STFU where I can or respond with amused mastery but sometimes I just want to tell her to "cut the fucking shit."
  3. Sometimes I just want to fucking relax. I used to loose alot of time with video games but have completely changed it around to completing tasks and fixing things in the house/life. But every once in a while I just want to sit on a sofa and relax
  4. I find it hard not to argue or tell her things are wrong. I know arguing is pointless but also need to create or re-enforce boundaries. What’s fine line between here between trying to correct things you don’t want in your life vs. being nag/argumentative
  5. My wife is addicted to being busy. It’s almost like she creates her own crazy agenda and gets lost in priorities. I've called her out on things a few times like forgetting something important because she was busy with something stupid (or not time sensitive) - This is an example of me not knowing if i should STFU or tell her to get her shit together. I've tried getting her to write lists and prioritize but she creates a 3 page list by the end of the week.... stops looking at it, and has another 3 pager for the next week. It makes it difficult to even Kino/Game/Initiate with her when shes always head-deep into some task she feels is past due. I stopped initiating sex before bed (which is kind of the only time she actually wants me to) but during the day she gives me "I have too much to do"
  6. Generally dealing with a 1.5 year old and 5 year old is hard. I’m their primary source of fun and both enjoy different games so it’s challenging. Trying to get anything done on my list is hard when my wife is always "busy" with her shit and I’m dealing with the children
  7. My wife is so nice (can’t say no… except to me apparently) that its actually detrimental to my time and family. A lot of times we spend just waiting for responses from someone she wants to talk to (before leaving a venue for example) or her trying to organize plans with a friend for 20+ minutes only to find out that they haven’t figured anything out (another time I struggle not to be butt hurt and tell her WTF have you done with the last 20+ minutes)
  8. I go through cycles of anger at being sucked into my wife’s world as her provider. I’m very good at not dwelling on the past and ‘what could have been’ but still get angry wondering if I could have scored better/higher or if she played me
  9. I struggle to wake up early. Even when I do wake up I still feel more tired then when I went to bed
  10. Im a hairy dude and constantly shave my shoulders/back but thinking of laser surgery… anyone have opinions?

Post Information
Title 6 Month Progress - The Good and Bad
Author Steve_rebooting
Upvotes 10
Comments 50
Date 10 May 2018 03:01 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/204516
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/8ifjge/6_month_progress_the_good_and_bad/
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Comments

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red9 points10 points  (4 children) | Copy

You are skinny weak dude. Just cause you have abs due to being skin and bone does not make you fit. Esp tossing around a single lonely plate. Keep working out but you have not even come close to touching noob gains.

Bulk up more and spend more time in the gym.

If you want to relax. Fucking relax. I am right now on the sofa sitting on my ass.

I run a trimmer with 1/2 guard over my whole body every 4 days. My wife gets my back at the same time for me.

You need to STFU more and stop micro managing your wife. Let her run around like a hot mess. Who cares.

You talk about her to much in your post.

Go to bed early to get up early.

Finally why are you at home during the day up her ass?

[–]the_grizzlebee0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Just as a point of reference - I'm a flabby manlet and those lifts are pretty close to mine ( 5'7" 155) 90 OHP, 115 BP, 125 BR, 205 DL, 170 SQ.

[–]Steve_rebooting[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Thanks... Did not mean to imply that I was muscular or strong... Ive just come a long way in the 3-4 months. Enough so that close friends/relatives have all taken notice..... but still skinny and weak no doubt. Hitting gym 4-6 times a week... averaging 5 times

I dont micromanage her at all actually. Its only when her shit obstructs me or the kids. For example, she might leave an important bag of paperwork (yep, bag of paperwork) on the floor, and then freak out when our 18 month old decides its a toy and wants to rip them all out of the bag. Its moments like this when I want to shake her and ask her "WTF are you thinking leaving it in childs reach in the first place"

She is a freelancer and works random hours... I also work from home 3 days a week so we are always crossing paths. One of the reasons I am looking for a new role at work with harder challenge and more time out of the house

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

Listen up faggot. We see your kind here all the time.....

I have been doing MRP for 6 months, blah, blah, blah.

You need an ego check, and here it is.

Your title says you have been doing MRP for 6 months, yet you are only lifting 3-4.

WTF did you do the first two? The first step in the process is to LIFT.

SL 5x5 is an LP program. Even at noob gains you should be going up at least 5-10 pounds a week. So you stating that you are going 4-6 times a week, I simply do not buy it. I go 4-6 times a week and even still progress at 5-10 pounds a week.

You literally dedicated 3 bullet points to you being muscular and how you are the fittest dad around. Congrats - you are not obese like 80% of Americans.

The rest of your post you complain about your wife, and how you are starting to nag like a fucking woman. WTF do you want from us? Validation?

You work from home 3 days a week? Guess what - so do I. I still get out of the house for 6 hours a day. I start at Starbucks at 8:30, have coffee with my male group, work, hit gym from 11-1 then hit another Starbucks or I go to the Marriott and work out of the bar area. Home by 3:30-4:00.

You are worried about loose papers laying around? Tell her to keep her shit organized, or toss it in the trash. Stop being a pussy about basic shit like this.

OMG your 18 month old messed up paperwork. Who the fuck has paperwork these days anyway?

Freelance - is that your way of saying she is an under-employed writer or artist?

You still get butthurt because you still lack frame, because you are weak physically and emotionally and you think that 6 months is going unfuck years of being a pussy.

You come on here and expect a pat on the back, and maybe you will get it from some, but be thankful there are people like me who will give you the kick in the balls you need so you do not get complacent and maybe you will check your ego which you need to fucking do.

Great, you are getting some IOI's and people are noticing. Whoa! congrats. Go rub one out if it makes you happy.

You are a basic bitch still in the habit forming stage that still has more shit to unfuck, than things you have already and successfully unfucked.

This is how I congratulate noobs, buy a swift nut kick to the balls. Consider yourself honored I took the time to write this up. Do not come back here and DEER and tell me I am wrong.

Just keep doing what I say, and dont come on here and exaggerate your successes again.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

He is right for calling you out on exaggerating your successes. Still, I for one am happy for you. Keep on the path.

For example if she is too busy during the day to fuck when you want, then it’s not as rosy as you think it is. I’m still glad it’s better, but it clearly isn’t as good as you’re selling. Three months of StrongLifts and you’re still fucking around on one plate? The only reason to use one plate at this point is if you are doing a push pull leg hypertrophy or something like that. Definitely not for a 5 x 5 routine.

Still, Good on you.

[–]ReddJiveRed Beret10 points11 points  (19 children) | Copy

I really should do a post on finding your mission. There are some out there but none really scratch the itch. Seems to be a lot of guys struggling out there to do it.

Ultimately I can tell you that your sex life isn't improving because of you. Your wife likes to fuck a muscular man. That's clear. Despite your numbers you got something working there and it seems to be working. I also don't think it's completely done for either.

Addressing her being busy. It's right out of the play book. She has no reason to be with you. It's like she is flipping the Red Pill book on you. You're doing all the things for her. So let me explain Frame a little better to you.

Ever get into a car for a drive. Maybe you doh't have a destination in mind but fuck it. The suns out. Day is clear, and mother fucking ACDC is jamming on the radio. You put that car into gear and head out for the day. No idea where yet but you're off and running. Soon your phone rings. A text from the wife. Fuck it. Everything is working and don't need that shit right now. Maybe an hour into it you stop by a little place for a cold drink. Sit down. God damn the table next to you just ordered the best looking burger ever. Add that bitch to the order. You sit back drink your beer. Now you are't sure how much time has gone by. Just the beer turned into one more and the burger is gone. You sit a bit more and watch some sports on the TV. Let the beer wear off for safety.

You shoot the shit with the barkeep. You call him barkeep because that's the mood you're in. Soon though you are back on the road, the roadhouse in the rearview.

Time passes by radio going, several missed calls and texts, but fuck me silly and shave me naked it's a god damn good day. You pull over somewhere. Doesn't really matter there was no destination in mind. You sit out on a bench there at the rest stop. Smell the fresh air. Listening. Nothing really important happening. No where important to go.

Kick back. Think about how great things are. I mean right at this moment. The free feeling that comes from having just got up and left.

In fact it's so good I just fucking forgot my point. Which really was the point here.

Your issue is that you are so fucking wrapped in what your wife is doing that you don't do much more then repeat your own mental bullshit. Get out on the open road. Hammer it down. Turn up the radio and fuck that bitch.

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Fucking three women at a party is next on the list....

[–]redwall921 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I got a motorcycle a late last year. Been wanting one for a long time, but I've got kids, and I need to be around for them, and ...... blah, blah, blah.

A motorcycle will put me in that happy place any day. Ride up to the mountains. Hit some twists and turns. Hit some straights and twist the throttle. I can be riding with a buddy or on my own. To a bar a few towns away or just to a hiking spot. And the phone? The phone doesn't exist while I'm riding except for directions. It's a great world to find.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Mission

Mission is always there. It's visceral. I would say you see it most clearly when you remove the clutter of everyone else's mission, and everyone else's thoughts on your mission, out of your mind.

[–]ReddJiveRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Nice analogy. I like this.

[–]SteelSharpensSteelMod / Red Beret0 points1 point  (11 children) | Copy

I did a post on mission, feel free to plagarize parts if needed.

There was a bunch of them all around the same time. Mission and leadership.

[–]ReddJiveRed Beret0 points1 point  (10 children) | Copy

Yeah? I’ll look then. It may be just bringing it together in a journal. Not saying I have this answer but it’s like the parable of the elephant.

We all describe what we see and make sense of it

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red0 points1 point  (9 children) | Copy

Visualization of your mission does not work.

Visualization of the work required to obtain your mission does.

You have to visualize the practice, not the results.

We talk about mission. To me, mission is a goal. An unobtainable goal that without deep thought into the work required to get to that goal you will never reach.

IMHO the post needs to be about the work, identification and metric associated with it.

Not a particular mission, as we all have several missions going on at the same time.

[–]ReddJiveRed Beret1 point2 points  (8 children) | Copy

Visualization of your mission does not work.

I disagree here but not with everything else you said. You have to visualize or know what right looks like. Then you can create the path to it.

You have to know how you want your life to look. Then create the plan to get there.

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red0 points1 point  (7 children) | Copy

OK, reading just that one sentance you are correct.

Try this:

Visualization of your mission does not work, without the visualization of the work required to obtain it.

Mission can become nothing more than a exercise in mental masturbation.

I want a 3000sq foot house, with 17" arms, and two sports cars in the garage.

I want to be a great dad.

I want to be a senior manager at my company. I want to own my own company.

Are these missions? Are they goals? What is the difference?

I honestly do not know.

Is a mission the same thing as life guardrails?

I want to be the best dad I can, get fairly compensated for the work I do, provide a higher level of life to my kids that I had, while I fuck two women at a party?

What is a mission? How is it different than life goals?

Is becoming President of the US a mission or a goal?

[–]ChadwickChadington4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

There are some easy answers here.

House, strength, career are all in themselves tools to accomplish something else; without that something else these things quickly become "nice but where I'm I going, what purpose do they serve".

An expensive sports car also a tool, in some round-a-bout way of needing status to then accomplish things.

Being a great dad is not a tool to then accomplish something else (unless you're a psycho with kids to work or sell), so clearly is a mission (that may have all the above tools contributing to it).

Usually we don't talk about a house or a career as a tool, just not how English works, but wants / goals that actually in the tool category are not a mission. So this is a good test that could be good in analyzing current objectives; i.e. "what are the things I care about that are not actually just tools I assume I'll then do something great with after I achieve it".

Of course you can make an exceptions, and decide your mission in life is to have the biggest house, so above is an example or tool / mission set, not the absolute truth for everyone.

What happens in beta life is that society just "wants you to be useful to it" and so education is focused on just becoming more useful and beta's who internalize this make collecting tools their mission (money chief among them), but it's unfulfilling because people generally intuit that it's making proper use of a tool for some real purpose which is the reason to have that tool in the first place. This is why beta's who go all the way to the top, overdose and suicide are common tropes; like the recent tale of the Swedish DJ who "retired at 26" due to struggling with alcohol and the "stress of touring", and then OD'd or committed suicide in Qatar. If it was simply music that was his mission he would have gotten his shit together, continued music in some reasonable way (break more, tour less, session, whatever), or segway into being a producer to help the next generation of musicians. If music wasn't his mission obviously he could use money + fame to do whatever that was. If music and other things were his mission he could obviously go Bono and get active in whatever are those things he cares about. But he had no real mission (society told him being a famous DJ would be useful) and so attaining these goals revealed the "existential questions" that, according to his family, he was unable to deal with. I didn't follow his career but it was big news due to the potential mystery and this is what I gleaned from his story.

Both complete success and complete failure are usually fatal events for the beta complex. Where is a beta supposed to be? Working hard in the middle. This is what (our) society needs. Lot's of betas: never arriving, always afraid of falling.

[–]ReddJiveRed Beret0 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy

Right. Now you’re getting where I want the discussion.

The mission is yours. So you set it. Some Men may have several missions in their life and over their lifetime. Some may only have one.

Yet a mission is filled with long and short terms goals or objectives. Maybe milestones. All synonymous for this discussion.

This is the meet of it I think. What confuses some is that not every man will have just one. I have just one mission in my life through discussions /u/88will88 have pointed out my mission is to know myself. It’s deeper than that and not worth using this time but essentially he’s correct.

Someone’s mission is not mine. I think this is the hardest part of red pill. And where a lot struggle. Probably why many fail

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I believe my mission statement is as simple as saying:

“I will not be a fuck boy.”

Everything else are goals that help me to obtain that mission statement.

[–]SteelSharpensSteelMod / Red Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Vision needs to go with mission. Can't have a mission without a vision.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

I would very much like to read your thoughts on mission. I am doing a lot of work on this area at the moment. I’d value your insights.

CR

[–]ReddJiveRed Beret1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

I am working on a post. I will make it at the end of the week.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Great. Looking forward to reading it.

[–]PersaeusRed Beret6 points7 points  (2 children) | Copy

format please

[–]JudgeDoom691 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

For the love of God, hit enter twice for a line break. Twice.

[–]Steve_rebooting[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Thanks. Updated

[–]MetalMRP5 points6 points  (3 children) | Copy

Good work, now re-read this post and see how many times you mention your wife. Think about what that means.

[–]Steve_rebooting[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Yep, thanks for the realization. I think my deep agenda is to fix our relationship as most other aspects of my life are improving in ways that I can actually change. Ill ponder this some more

[–]creating_my_life0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

I think my deep agenda is to fix our relationship

as you keep reading and re-reading MRP, you'll accept that your deep agenda is to achieve your mission, and your relationship/wife/marriages/sex is a tiny little sidebar in your big picture.

[–]Steve_rebooting[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I can see that. Considering I haven't discovered my true mission i've focused on my relationship as one of the top 3 I guess (house sale, kids, her)

[–]CaptJohnLukeDiscard2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Even when you talked about your successes, all of them stem from and revolve around your wife.

Do you recognize how far into her frame / worldview / center of influence you are?

On a side note, those lifts are pretty good... for a fit female.

[–]Steve_rebooting[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Thanks... I see it more clearly now

[–]BobbyPeru1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Your numbers don’t add up. No way are you 12 1/2% body fat if you’re only benching 145. That’s part of the reason we have guys post numbers – to see if they’re full of shit or not.

At 6’4” , 205, You are skinny fat with those numbers

[–]FoxShitNasty830 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy

What body fat did you at with? Also if your getting knee pain try widening your stance and hold the weight a little lower so you lift with your hips. Might be bollocks I found it online as had knee pain and seemed to work.

[–]Steve_rebooting[S] 0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

Appox 18% in January, I didnt measure until about 1.5 months in at 15%. Widening of stance and angle of feet have been helping but i reset to lifting 105 at that point (was doing 205 with bad form)

Its my right knee that caves in to assist with lift that is the problem.. so focusing on that aswell

[–]FoxShitNasty830 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

Yeah same here, is that your domanant leg? It's definitely form related, I suspect a deload is in order for me

[–]Steve_rebooting[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Yah, its my dominant leg. Oddly, I live in 4 story townhouse with winding stairs that forces me to walk around my dominant leg too

Did you find any fixes to this issue? Stretches, etc?

[–]FoxShitNasty830 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Widening stance and holding bar a little lower helped a bit. I'm going to deload and work on form

[–]Steve_rebooting[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Also found this video... tried the 'cues' today and really helped https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XZ-DE1jtaRQ

[–]creating_my_life0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

6'4, 205lbs....95 press, 145 bench, 245 deadlift, 135 squat

I'm 6" shorter than you, 30lbs less, with numbers higher than that, and I still consider myself a fat, weak fuck.

keep lifting heavy and add mass and bulk.

[–]Steve_rebooting[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Yep, Dont consider myself strong by any means.. But i do have a longer range of motion than you...

[–]ChokingDownRPRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Yep, lifting is an area where the short fuckers have a definite advantage.

I'm also a 6'4" noob and even when I lifted regularly before slipping into betadom, I didn't put up impressive #'s like my shorter friends...but I'm only interested in results, not the pissing contest.

I'm also a very hairy guy, and have never figured out a really good way to deal with my chest. A kid at the beach once said to his mom "is that Austin Powers" - funny little fucker! I've shaved it clean (bumps, itching), I've attempted to use chemical shave products (don't do this!)... the best way I've come up with is to just trim it with clippers using the lowest # guard you can without causing it to be abrasive (I forget which guard I use, I just leave it on my clippers). As for shoulders and back, I shave as needed.

[–]rocknrollchuck0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

135 squat (struggling with form/knee issues)

A couple months after starting StrongLifts 5X5, I started having knee pain. I did a lot of research online looking to correct my form, especially with regard to foot placement (width of stance and the proper angle to point my feet out). Ultimately what I found was that there is a range of stances that work well, but everyone's different and you need to find which one works best for you. But that didn't solve the knee pain I was having. And it would affect me at work throughout the day as well. I thought I would have to stop squatting, and I honestly really enjoy it.

I kept looking, and the solution I finally found was a video for an Insane Quad Stretch. I had already been doing regular stretching (although I could always do more) but I tried it. This stretch completely fixed my knee pain.

[–]Steve_rebooting[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Thanks, I am a fan of his content.. Ill try that stretch.

I've had problems finding a specific guide on the pain... Its less of a pain and more of a 'knee is about to give out' pinch... It has yet to give out, but walking up stairs I have this low level feeling that my knee is unstable.

Might just go to a physiotherapist and get it professionally scanned/checked out

[–]simbarlionRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Sounds like the reboot was successful.

What's next?

[–]Nec_sorte_Nec_fato0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Jeezus f'ing Christ you are weak for a guy your size. You have a LOT of lifting and eating to do.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Awesome changes man!! Keep going, you're doing great

[–]peaceful_strong_man-3 points-2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Didn’t read all of that for obvious reasons. However I would say it’s time to get a second wife.



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