How to get her wet more?

Communicating is never the answer.

Your wife is not dumb. She knows what you want. You've told her dozens of times in the past yet she continues to not do it. Lack of information is not the problem. It is lack of motivation and attraction. I will refer to my food analogy which I have used in the past:

One of the first things you need to learn is that communication -- the type that your wife says she wants and needs -- does nothing but exacerbate the problem.

If you stick around long enough you will learn that you can't negotiate desire, and every time you sit down with your wife and do what common sense says and express your needs openly and honestly you are effectively telling her to do something she can only force herself do to appease you. This does nothing for her genuine desire for you. Deep down, she doesn't care what you want--unless there's something in it for her.

I like to use the food analogy. Name a food your wife doesn't like. I'll go with radishes. Let's say for some reason you really wanted your wife to love radishes. It's important to you that she loves them. It makes you feel fulfilled and loved. But she hates them. So you sit her down and explain to her in an open and honest way how important radishes are to you and that her hatred of those red beauties cut like a knife through your heart. Sure, she will listen to you, and maybe even make an attempt to like them to make you happy, but you can tell on her face as she tries to force another one down her own throat that she just doesn't like them--never will like them.

That's how your wife is with sex. She used to be into it with you. Hell, sometimes she is still into it with you. But when she is/was into having deep, passionate sex with you, it wasn't because you told her how important it was to you. She genuinely desired you. And you can tell the goddamn difference, can't you?

MRP is all about fostering that genuine desire. But it takes fucking work. A lot of work. But it's worth it.

I'll never forget one event that eventually led me here. Frequency of sex had never been the problem for me, it was more about the lack of desire and passion.

Like every other man here, I had tried everything under the sun to get my wife to love me the way I wanted to be loved. I'm not going to list all of those things because you know what I am talking about. Anyway, I tried it all. But one time we were on a road trip, and we were listening to the audiobook of The 5 Love Languages. I don't remember whose idea it was to listen to it--could have been me--but that's beside the point.

Anyway, so we're listening to the 5 Love Languages and we get all the way through it. And I was ecstatic! It got me and my wife talking to each other in a way that we had never been talking before. For some reason this book just really connected with us, and we each spent a lot of time talking through the types of things we need to feel loved. And when I was talking about my stuff (this is pre-MRP, remember) I focused on overt displays of love, touching, sex, cuddling, and other mostly vague and polite ways of saying that fucking is what I wanted and needed the most. And you know what? She was receptive! She didn't realize how important that was to me. She knew I liked sex of course, but this book gave her a new way to understand its importance in me feeling truly loved. I was over the moon. I think even the blood was rushing to my dick in anticipation of having the desire-filled sex life I had always dreamed of with my wife but never having the ability to get there. This book was a miracle! We were really communicating--understanding each other!

For the next week, things were on the up and up. We had sex a couple more times than we normally do, and she did her best to open up to me and love me in the ways I told her. After all, I had spilled my guts and given her the exact recipe for making me feel loved. No guessing! All she had to do was follow it. But it's not going to happen overnight, right? There would probably be a slow build, each week building on the desire of the last, growing stronger and stronger while we got closer and closer. Right?

Wrong. We didn't even make it into the next week before things were back to normal. Actually, they were below normal.

What was going on? I had told her what I needed! She is a caring, loving person who wants me to be happy. Why is she not doing it? I was giving it my all, giving her everything she said she needed from me. What was happening?

She was choking on the goddamn radish, my friend.

You can't force your wife desire you just like you can't force her to love radishes. If your wife isn't a complete bitch she may even want to love radishes to make you happy. But it's not going to happen. You have to be the type of man who deserves that level of desire. You can't be a radish anymore.

And then I found this place, and (after at least a year) things actually did start improving. The weird thing was, like George fucking Castanza, I was doing everything I thought you weren't supposed to do! It went against my very being to think and act this way. Years of tip towing and flower buying and chore playing and romantic dinners and everything else, gone.