So I've decided to go to Applebee's and then go watch the Avengers on the 28th of this month for my birthday celebration (turning 21). I invited 60 or so people and so far 22 of them are coming. We're going to have a huge table and reservation. This is going to be great. One thing that has been bothering me is that my girlfriend responded "maybe" to the Facebook invitation. See, that response is okay for everyone else, but when I see she says maybe that raises some concerns for me. 

To preface what I'm about to say, I understand that I can be irrational and pushy when it comes to people not responding in the way I want them to when I invite them to things. I've done it before and I've been trying my best to now give people the benefit of the doubt. However, I've also rationalized for people and have felt hurt by it as a result. In this case, I cannot think of a good enough reason for her to give me a maybe. I know that senior formal is that day because some of my senior friends whom I invited have told me they're going to that instead. Her best friend also invited me to a senior formal of their own that my girlfriend and their other friends are going to. 

So perhaps she is conflicted about going to that instead but here's why this whole thing is frustrating me:

  1. Yes, it's just a button on a Facebook and in the grand scheme of things it really doesn't matter, but it's the principle of the response and the message behind it. Because when I see that she responded "maybe", what I'm seeing objectively is that she'll come to my birthday party if things of a higher priority don't interfere. My birthday party celebration is not a priority. 

  2. There's no excuse. I'm trying to put myself in her shoes and I honestly cannot find a rational reason as to why she wouldn't be able to make it. Even if she had the senior formal on that day, I honestly would want her to skip it and come to the party because that's what I would do for her. If the roles were reversed and there were no obligations that absolutely demanded my presence, then I would cancel everything on my calendar to go to her party. I just cannot think of a good reason as to why she would even respond "maybe" let alone not be able to make it. 

  3. A lot of our mutual friends are coming to the event. Some of the good friends she made at church and who have become my friends as well are coming and usually when they come over to the dorm or want to go out I am happy to come along because honestly, it's great getting to know them, but also I know that spending time with other people and dating in community is important to her. 

I just spent the last 30 minutes or so going on an angry run and just shouting out about all of this. I don't know why it bothers me so much. I mean is it really so unreasonable of me to expect my girlfriend to say yes to my birthday party invitation and just come without any stories about complications or the such? It's not complicated. It's either you want to come or you don't, but maybe I'm just not seeing things right. I discuss this with her tomorrow and hear her side of things. I just wanted to hear what you guys had to say?