Hi guys, I am very new to RP. I understand if you tell me to STFU and read the sidebar. I’m currently doing that, but I have a lot of work to do still.

My wife has never been good at keeping a neat house. I have been better in the past at keeping the house neat, but I would like everyone to do a better job.

In the past, I would use covert contracts and even nag or guilt her into cleaning up (even just the shit that she personally made a mess of) - I am realizing that I have created this situation by allowing it from the start.

Considering that I am still very new to this, should I just lead by example and clean things up to the standard that I would like them kept to? Is there a better alternative where I could lead her into it now - understanding that my frame is still weak as fuck?

I am conscious not to create another covert contract. I would do this with no strings - Because I want things kept clean. However, I would like to stop reinforcing nice guy behavior where I would do all of the work while she watches TV.

My gut tells me to just do it and STFU. Later when I have improved myself and established frame, I will be more capable of leading the whole family to follow the example I will start setting now.

Alternatively, I could give my expectations to her but I’m wary of going Rambo or acting out of bravado (still fake because of my weak frame).