How to avoid being Butt Hurt (Mini FR)

innominating · 2016-12-08T19:14:31+00:00

Outcome independence and no-butthurt come from abundance mentality. Lose weight, gain muscle, be cocky funny, and start gaming other women to the point where you can realistically expect to be able to pull 24 year old HBs and have them suck your dick. At that point, your wife will want to suck your dick, or she won't, and if it is important enough to you, you'll be equipped to do something about it. Until then, you have a covert contract and you're being a butthurt bitch.

[deleted] · 2016-12-08T18:39:55+00:00

Sounds like she's trying to please you, but has a lot of sexual hangups. She knows what you want. I wouldn't talk about it again or you'll sound whiny.

I mean, how bad do you need a BJ to feel fulfilled in life? Do you really need head or are you looking for the validation of a wife who eagerly sucks your dick? Head from a hooker can't be more than $100.

I think you're trying to negotiate desire-- or at least have a covert contract about it. If your wife is in her 40s and isn't into BJs she may never like them.

To get over the butt hurt I suggest that you have the expectation that you'll never get an enthusiastic BJ from your wife. Sure she'll suck your dick once in a while but she'll never like it. If you can't live with that, you look at ways you can change yourself or your situation.

Also, if you're not hot enough for college girls to give you BJs don't expect that your wife will all of a sudden like it. Be more attractive.

sexyshoulderdevil · 2016-12-08T19:10:31+00:00

You 6' 5" motherfuckers need to just walk up to your wives, look down at her, wait for her to look up at you and then say, "We need to have the good sexing or instead I will consume you for sustenance." Then just walk away.

In the meantime, chill out. You're MERPing away for the sacred, golden blowjob. It won't work. You're just a dog chasing his tail trying to negotiate desire. Let the blowjob shit drop and keep on working away while she slowly forgets about this conversation.

Downhere_Seeds · 2016-12-09T15:56:51+00:00

Sounds like you're doing great and doing everything terrific, other than not getting everything you want, you seem to be doing well. I can't say I blame her, I wouldn't suck a D either.

To resolve the feelings of butt hurt, you have to understand why you feel that way. Do you feel unappreciated? Is it your ego? The best way to not feel butt hurt is to resolve the conflict by getting the BJ (something it sounds like she is willing to do but on her terms) or just let it go.

How do you let it go? Appreciate everything you have and focus on something else.

EDIT: meant to comment to the OP, not this

ThrowTheEgg · 2016-12-09T01:21:58+00:00

I am in the same boat as you, but for me, it's fucking her from behind. I love it, want it, and constantly try to flip her over and get in... but nope, nope and nope. Gentle, rough, loving, caveman. Total no go zone.

Why? Dunno -she's mentioned a few times 'it's painful' but won't let me slowly go in a way that wouldn't be. Maybe self-conscious about her ass, but it, and her whole body, is taut, athletic, lean, hot. Control issues? Thinks it's somehow 'dirty'? Maybe, who knows. What I do know is, there is no Harder No than when i flip her over or try to coax her over.

And I can hear that you want the BJ the same way i want doggy. Desperately! Something about not ever getting it has burned it into my brain, where I probably want to 'accomplish' it as much as I really care about having it (well, it's both).

So what can we do? My plan sounds like yours - try to forget about it or at least leave it be, for now (that's harrrrd to do, but must be done). No, don't try to forget about, FORGET ABOUT IT. For now

Next step then is to keep lifting, in fact, lift more. Grow that muscle and lose that last little bit of fat. Keep going, flirt out there often, maintain frame, and build the body so you raise the Dread and attraction, to a point where - maybe? - she'll turn herself around one night.

Like you, all of the logic of that stacks up, and I 100% subscribe to. But dammit it's the emotion/feelz i can't shake even when my rational mind understands I must. It's like being told to not think about a Pink Elephant. How can I not when the moment I'm told to ignore it, it's fucking right there in front of me?

Work to do, you and me both.

J_Incognito · 2016-12-08T19:18:02+00:00

Man, it's not just the BJs, that's a subset of the lame sex. Lame/starfish/duty sex is due to a lack of attraction. I saw your previous post, if you honestly believe your SMV is 2 points below your spouse, then you have a lot of ground to makeup (I tend to think a lot of this is perception however). And it's not just lifting & diet, think social circles, career, wardrobe, charm, etc.

Overall this exchange wasn't bad. But you should be focused on improving and, later, implementing some dread. And when you do have sex implement some SGM - read the recent post about "when she goes starfish you go caveman".

When she's attracted to you, the sex will improve (and BJs may or may not be in the cards for you). The goal is for her to want to suck your dick - you don't need to say anything, she knows you want that.

MRPN00b · 2016-12-08T19:23:48+00:00

Told her I'm glad she got that off her chest, kissed her on the head and went to the gym.

Very good. Keep doing this.

This whole thing is a process and you are headed in the right direction. When I first married my current wife we almost didn't make it a couple of time, because I was crazy jealous and really thin skinned. This is going to sound crazy, but I used to have fights with myself in my car on the way to work. I would be so mad at her, but I knew there was nothing I could do about it. I would yell and argue with myself and then have a good laugh at how stupid I felt.

Now, I mostly just laugh.

bogeyd6 · 2016-12-08T19:29:53+00:00

Sometimes in life we find things aren't what we wanted out of life. You remind me of that. We find ourselves mated up with someone incompatible to our sexual desires. Usually this revolves around fetishes and others it's the simple things. My wife likes to kiss, I don't like to kiss. In fact, I don't know if I ever even tried the 10 second kiss mentioned on this sub. This usually bothers her if we go days without kissing. Then she brings it up or I realize it and I kiss her with the SGM approved way of kissing. We found a way.

BobbyPeru · 2016-12-08T22:47:07+00:00

Your mistake was engaging at all - 1st the starfish butt hurt, then the comparison with other couples. Get some abundance and the butt hurt will go away. Read, lift, day game.

BluepillProfessor · 2016-12-09T02:45:08+00:00

I flat out told her, I'm not interested in starfish.

Terrible move. You CAN "tell" her without saying a word but I bet you didn't go that route. Action not words. Give her a scowl and get up with no cuddling. Or if you really want to make an impact stop before coming, pull out and tell her: "I am not having sex with a woman who is not into it." Her hamster will melt.

Either it works for us or it doesn't.

Sorry pal, this is MARRIED Red Pill. You are the husband and the man and you can make it work. Usually.

We could have done without the dialogue.

I'm so pissed last night and today I can't think straight. I know it's that giant covert contract in my head.

You understand exactly what is going on but the feelings are there. I read all these books and lifted and wife is still giving me Starfish sex? That wasn't the deal. You are right about that last part. It was never the deal it was just a covert contract.

If I act just fine, then she'll think I'm fine with her not going down on me, or spicing up our sex life

If she is fucking you regularly that is about the best you can expect from MRP. You can often expect much, much better, but not always. Sometimes MRP induces her to give it up (it was her idea all along and it just happened don't you know) but enthusiastic blowjobs were never guaranteed in the MRP plan. I would say they are likely, but not guaranteed. Some girls don't like to suck dick. More likely she doesn't want to suck YOUR dick.

screechhater · 2016-12-09T10:26:22+00:00

The reason "Dread" works well is because it is action, not talking Quit talking. Just get up when you don't want starfish and go start the shower. Your only answer should be, "I'm showering off this experience"

Quit hamstering. Quit begging. Start being a man that has options.

Apparently you have not read Book of Pook. Read it Then hop onto Family Alpha and read the entire website.

A lot of the sexual hangups will start to disappear like illnesses and reasons not to fuck or suck when you are high value. A complete high value package that is talked about, especially.

vinegarbubblegum · 2016-12-09T14:03:00+00:00

how do you marry a woman you have absolutely zero sexual compatibility with?

it's almost like you're determined to spend the rest of your life in various stages of a pissed off.

How do you walk that tightrope gents?

get a fucking divorce already or start getting her to read dan savage to the point where she allows you to get yours outside the marriage. she seems reasonable.

or you can just STFU. you seem good at that.

rebbit_reddit · 2016-12-09T22:39:45+00:00

One of the rules is that you can't negotiate desire. You don't want her to see sucking your cock as a disgusting chore. You want her to love doing it. The only way I think you can make that happen is by using conditioning, Pavlov style. Get her very aroused and keep her there, by either you or her or a toy. Then put your cock near her mouth and bring her to the edge of orgasm but not over. Then pull away and let her calm down a bit. Repeat that several times and as she responds, escalate by touching your cock to her mouth as she edges, then calm her down. Get her to lick it as she edges. Get her to suck on it a bit as she edges. Get her to suck on it a lot as she edges. Ideally, you provide the stimulus (your cock in her mouth) about 2 seconds before giving the reward (edging her). Ideally you let her calm down again between cycles. Add in lots of dirty talk "You love sucking my hard cock", "Good girl. my cock feels so good in your mouth" etc. Soon enough she will be conditioned to associate cock sucking with her own pleasure.

BluepillProfessor · 2016-12-11T17:44:39+00:00

This has been linked to The Blue Pill and voting does not reflect reality. They can't stand it when men are discussing how to get more blowjobs. I think they are imagining the men they are stuck with- defeated, mangina girly-men no doubt. Since they are so disgusted to service their husbands and boyfriends, the thought of men conspiring to get more sex is violently repulsive to them.

Of course they really desire the exact opposite of what they fight for and advocate- but that is not my problem. Don't believe that is what femininsts actually desire? See this and this both at the top of the Red Pill yesterday and today...but this us the crowning jewel.

2cingle · 2016-12-09T07:02:54+00:00

Put the blowjob on hold. Don't forget about it. You want head? Earn it. Bump your SMV up by 2-3 points. I think you need to answer the commenter's question about what else you're doing to raise it besides working out. Don't forget to do things in MAP order. When you're ready, you seduce her, but as commented, you never bring it up again. If it goes so far that she needs a couple steps of Dread applied, do it last- last. My bet is, she'll suck your dick like a tornado when she desires you.

It's not just a blowjob, it is worth all this thought, but more, it's worth being the guy she wants to suck.

470_2_700_nm · 2016-12-09T15:43:14+00:00

Here are my best suggestions:

1) Not sure what you mean by "trying caveman". You just need to fuck her hard and tell her she is your slut. They all have this conflicting Madonna-whore complex. Bring the whore out in her. Sex God Method and Practical Female Psychology are great books for this.

2) You are talking too much. I did this too. When it comes to denial of sex of some sort, make a joke, leave, do what ever. But JUST. DON'T. TALK. You are talking, and giving excuses blah blah blah I'm a salesman blah blah. Don't do that there is zero value to this kind of thing.

3) There are men in this world that could (or have) blowjobless men's wives kneeling and sucking the semen and testicals right through their dick. YOURS AND MINE INCLUDED. Don't get angry like a little bitch. Become or approach being that man.

4) Don't stop initiating and building sexual tension. That is your job. She is a sex object to you, treat her as such.

I think you have much more reading to do and much more lifting along with fat loss. Somewhere between 15 and 10 percent body fat the blow jobs will start coming, we just can't promise you they will be from your wife.

heero01 · 2016-12-09T16:48:43+00:00

I don't know if you are doing it but you can also bait her. By just selling how good the head is when she tries it may not work but it really can't backfire to much .

Title	How to avoid being Butt Hurt (Mini FR)
Author	MRPN00b
Upvotes	11
Comments	43
Date	December 8, 2016 6:16 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askMRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/5h8ho8/how_to_avoid_being_butt_hurt_mini_fr/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askMRP/how-to-avoid-being-butt-hurt-mini-fr.206803 https://theredarchive.com/post/206803