TheRedArchive needs help
With 700,000+ posts and 16,000,000+ comments archived, and new Red Pill content being added every week, keeping TheRedArchive alive and discoverable to everyone is starting to become very costly. As a 20-year-old student who just moved out and is living independently for the first time, keeping TheRedArchive alive is beginning to cost me much more than I thought.

Therefore, if you appreciate the website, have gained a lot of knowledge and insight from it, and want to show your appreciation, you can do so by donating any amount that you want via the options below. The money will be used on the expensive monthly host bill and any future maintenance of the website.
Thank you, and I wish you all a successful 2021 and a good luck with achieving your goals and dreams!

Best, /u/dream-hunter

Hooked up with my former oneitis and why you should never do it.

Reddit View
Facebook Twitter Reddit Email Copy link
PDF EPUB TXT PNG
Joeboard
January 27, 2019
154 upvotes
askTRP

Red flags. Red flags are so important with women. Ive never properly learned this.. I notice them, in real time.. but so quickly disregard them because I lack abundance. I'm 29, horrible with women. Always have been. I'm not bad looking, I have a good personality, good job.. but downfalls.. antisocial tendencies, lack of confidence, no game, too honest, too soft. My inexperience has always lead to failure because I let my guard down and catch feelings way too quickly.

​

Old oneitis from 10yrs ago hits me up on FB.. We havn't spoken in the last 10 years.. She's moving back to the state after her bf of 4yrs gives her the boot. Severe baggage, anxiety issues, alcohol abuse issues. Like a fucking puppy dog, I set up a date. We meet and fuck for the first time. I'm happier than a pig in shit, I haven't had sex in 4 years. This is the 3rd girl i've ever had sex with for context..

I thought I knew what I was getting into. I fully expected to be a rebound, but I said fuck it and was determined to take advantage of the situation no matter what. Like a fool, I became invested.. We continued to fuck just about every other day for just over a month. She moves really fast, wanting me to take her on dates, tells me how hard shes fallen for me, how great I am, wants to spend the night and not leave after sex, wants to meet my family... I let my guard down and the second I did that, she became cold as fuck. Immediately distant, dishonest, making excuses to not hang out while going out with other friends. Instead of nexting her right then and there, I attempt to talk to her and prolong it a few days.. Why? Because I LACK ABUNDANCE. She bullshits me even more by saying nothing is wrong. So disrespectful and thankfully I can at least recognize that I don't deserve that.

​

So its over.. And like the fucking retard I am, I feel like shit.. On the plus side, I got my dick wet for the first time in a long time.. which is what I wanted. Got some confidence back in the bedroom.. Bad side is, deep down I desperately want a relationship and it causes me to be such a bitch boy and feel like shit. Shes not even relationship material, Im just so desperate.. I should be thankful this didn't go any further, but Im not. I know where I lack, I understand my beta issues, I need to take action or this will never get better. I cant go another 4 years of jerking off...

​

But I think the answer for now is clear, shes deleted out of my life. Ill be hitting the gym to look better and get my confidence up. Probably going monk mode until spring. Work on myself a little bit, and try to get out there and slay what I can.


Post Information
Title Hooked up with my former oneitis and why you should never do it.
Author Joeboard
Upvotes 154
Comments 83
Date 27 January 2019 12:38 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit askTRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/208212
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/akbo9r/hooked_up_with_my_former_oneitis_and_why_you/
Similar Posts
Loading Loading

Red Pill terms found in post:
betaabundancemonk modegamenexting
Comments

[–]goblinboglin80 points81 points  (8 children) | Copy

Exactly bro, I am glad you realized where you fucked up.

Just ignore her and when she comes desperate as fuck you can wet your dick once again for a few times, never go beyond that though, you see what happens. (if you want easy lays, less optimal option)

Better option is to find another prospects tho (optimal asf with monk mode)

[–]Joeboard[S] 33 points34 points  (5 children) | Copy

I'm done with her, not gonna give a psycho like that my time. I need to work on my self and bang randos all summer long.

[–]goblinboglin11 points12 points  (1 child) | Copy

Great for you

Good luck banging those chicks haha

[–]sefoc1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Just as a caveat, this can be great but remember that banging randos can be a bit risky. Bang those who deserve you.

[–]innominating11 points12 points  (0 children) | Copy

Lift. Sidebar. This shit works but you have to do it.

Lift. Read. Start gaming women. Get abundance. Spin plates.

At least you avoided this dumpster fire. If your oneitis would have been closer to the wall or failed to see another branch she could have easily trapped you, and ruined your life. You got out of this easy.

Now, stop dicking around on this forum and do the damn work to lift, read, and gain abundance. It’s all here for you. Just do it. Stop jerking off for years at a time and do the god damned work.

[–]CaptainBW5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

The icy stab of a Oneitis' talon. Ouchie! I feel that brother. Mine sucked a great portion of my soul out. It then forces you to re-evaluate the mission(s) of your life...so in a way it can be a blessing in disguise, despite how much it hurts right now. I will say this that goes against the grain of this sub...banging a bunch of randos will ultimately lead to these same feelings I've described if you lack a mission.

Random pussy and sex don't fill the soul-void (once you fuck enough pussies, you'll realize they're more or less the same). Drugs don't fill the soul-void either. Part of living and being a man is filling that space, and the advice of "Lift, read the sidebar, bang a bunch of random chicks" are only tools which set you up for potential success in filling this soul-void.

My advice: read the Stoics, perhaps even the "Dhammapada" if you're feeling Eastern. Reflect daily on the concept of "desire" and work to free yourself from the strong pulls of it. Only then will Life open up, and you'll almost feel as if you're in a wonderful flow of Life itself. Good luck to you, but you won't need it: wisdom comes to those who humbly seek it out, as you are doing right here on this sub.

[–]Hansdampf892 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah I also wouldn't hook up with her anymore. Monk mode is a very good idea to get a fresh mind and take care of yourself.

[–]jackandjill221 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yep

[–]resnine1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I wouldn't touch her ever again... don't go digging through the garbage.

[–]huggyblossom40 points41 points  (17 children) | Copy

Never waste time with a girl you haven't managed to fuck or you lost frame :)

​

In that exact move you received sex, overall the + was way less than the -, because you overinvested.

[–]Joeboard[S] 15 points16 points  (13 children) | Copy

Overinvested forsure. Women are weird as fuck, she was complaining that I have this wall up, my guard is up so high with her. And the second I drop it, she goes cold. I should of kept my distance.

[–]huggyblossom2 points3 points  (6 children) | Copy

It's just woman are emotional creatures. You haven't seen her long time and she hasn't seen you - you played your cards right and seem alpha to her so you were top dog.

​

And in the moment you went guard off her hamster backpedaled and she was over you that exact second, since her long lost dog-on-a-leash model went ahead :)

​

That is why it's so awful idea to even plate a girl you overinvested in - since they feed on emotions. She has had the full cup from you and needs another one. Once you show no emotions and act like a demigod she is on your branch and the moment you fuck up your projected image the emotion cup shows up (you catch oneitis) and she is not interested now, because she had that cup filled long ago :)

[–]innominating4 points5 points  (3 children) | Copy

It’s all his fault. Don’t blame her. He has no game, no confidence, and no abundance because he’s been jacking off for the last 4 years instead of doing the work.

[–]swimminginblue0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

THIS.

[–]resnine0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Pretty much say what you will about NoFap but jacking that thing off for 4 straight years (3-4 times a day) will fuck up your social game very much so.

[–]Joeboard[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

On average I was a once a day fapper. But yeah, it definitely did fuck me up..

[–]resnine0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Exactly, you have to keep them wanting more... once you give them all of you then there is nothing left... nothing to keep them coming back to you. You've lost all your mystery.

It's like smothering a fire. You feed it too much paper you'll kill it, but if you steadily feed it you'll maintain a strong roaring a flame.

[–]Terdmuffin1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

It's about the chase. Ever been gaming a girl and then as doin as you know you're gonna get it in you lose interest? The more she resists or plays hard to get the more you want her but as you as you get it you're like "meh on to the next". Same type of idea.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

It's a shit test. She just used you as a replacement for the other guy. Her ego was sore, so she used you to boost it. Pretty sure she tried the same games on her ex but it didn't work on him, so now she's practicing.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Sharpening her claws

[–]resnine0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Yep, he was a temporary fix to boost her ego until she found a new man.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Never waste time with a girl you haven't managed to fuck or you lost frame :)

What about having female friends?

[–]huggyblossom0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Well to be honest the several female friends I keep from years ago are the girls I won't ever bang :)

​

You can have benefits, but overall you are an emotional tampon more often than needed. And that is given the fact I can open talk with them about kinky shit and etc. and still get the feeling of an overinvestment for no pure benefits.

​

They do not care for sports, drink less than me and I have to pass shit tests without any reason. Also you have to invest time you can spend with dudes with same interests and values.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Female beta orbiters then ;)

Are you talking about those girls you are friends with?

I agree with you on that last point. After all your buddies will resent you for prefering female attention over being around them, if they like you. Besides, it's much more productive.

[–]_do_not_read_this_21 points22 points  (5 children) | Copy

I haven't had sex in 4 years.

That's your problem. If you had abundance, you could have easily fucked her just for old time's sake, then moved on.

Good field report though. Also, ten years later she's a different person.

​

[–]Joeboard[S] 3 points4 points  (4 children) | Copy

Ya i agree.. I went in trying to fuck and run, but I played into her shit and became invested. I absolutely knew this was going to happen too, perfect example of one of those knew I shouldnt, but did anyway things.

[–]_do_not_read_this_2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Still, you got laid, so there's that.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

If it was about getting laid, you could have got a top class escort for an hour... with zero drama, and the sex would have been much better.

[–]resnine2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

If he maintained frame and didn't overly invest he could have plated her easily. He could have carroted her and played her and not the other way around. But he said it, he doesn't have adundance, can't fake it either. So his whole situation crumbled like a house of cards.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

True

[–]strongfarts8 points9 points  (7 children) | Copy

You mentioned deep down you want a relationship, I am curious why is that? Is that due to closing 30?

If you lack game and abundance, a relationship will not turn well for you. You will end up betafied, due to low confidence and etc.

You need to try spinning some plates first in order to build your confidence up before you jump into a relationship.

There is a reason why TRP endorses plate spinning

Best of luck my dude

[–]dclawrush4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

This post and reply have hit it home for me and made me realize some shit lol

[–]sefoc0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Total opposite.... A relationship is practice, it's the first thing you can do. It's like the first thing boys experience in high school, having a girlfriend or going on a few dates. In college you might do better, some may find a happy life right out of college. In work life you might be stuck in some horrible job and trying hard to meet anyone at all. You can tell that a lot of adults are just trying to find a connection with someone.

Very few men will be able to plate spin because of the very fact that women that you find attractive, are looking for the 10-20% top man. Sure you can spin a number of whales, as "practice", but this alone is a dangerous strategy. Very dangerous.

Unless you look like a male model or very muscular, tall, stop trying to think you can spin plates unless you are gaming day and night with all your might and not putting 110% into your job or you already never struggled with women. That's the real red pill. That none of your efforts may actually add up to much at the end. There is no "put in the work = get easy results" in life, in life, there is more "put in the toughest work = get punished for even trying." That's real life!

Life is suffering, success in life is being so alpha that you avoid becoming a nihilist, depressed, or cynical bitter asshole and you are able to find some modicum of success. And those who are born to good genetics (or just never encountered much struggle with women naturally), may never truly understand or know that life since things may get handed to them, and so for them being alpha is appreciating their good fortunes and doing good in the world or helping others along the way.

This is what TRP is: a bunch of men, likely who've had experience or success, and help lesser experienced or the less enlightened along the way to truly understand women and how to improve themselves.

[–]resnine1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

That's some Jordan Peterson type red pilling right there sir. Life is suffering, unless you are genetically blessed and had awesome parents with great connections you are basically just slaving away at the world coming up with little to show for it. I hate to think trp is just some fantasy land for nerds jerking themselves off in their basements. I'm all for self-improvement through exercise, practing your craft, refinding and becoming a better person... but I do think there is a huge fantasy and mental masturbation part written in the authors part of trp. It's not how the real world works. Trp is an over-simplication. Take what you can and re-work it to fit your purposes, but don't expect mircales. You are what you are based on your genes and the effort you put forth.

[–]sefoc0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Yes there are just too many variables in a man's life. One day you may be happily married and everyone loves you. One day you may just be normally single but have good friends. One month you may have a number of one night stands. People experience very different lives.

Don't expect miracles, just adapt and be the best version of yourself and try to help others on the way. What else can you do? Being well-read can only help you make the right connections in life.

But more than anything is inventing something or having, innovating, or becoming something so great that others are naturally attracted to be near you. That's the ultimate goal of TRP in a way: to see the world for what it is without the fairy bluepill tale while trying to be better than everyone else.

[–]resnine0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Just wondering, how do you expect him to get "game" and "abudance" when he admittedly doesn't currently have them?

Do you think the low sperm count from shooting most of it out from jerking frequently played a part here?

[–]strongfarts0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

The same way as anyone does, increase SMV as much as possible by the known methods, build confidence or “inner game” (couldn’t find a better word) by adopting the TRP guidelines/sidebar etc.

Put it into practice by engaging with different women until he finds one suitable for LTR, if that is the end goal.

I know I am oversimplifying this but thats the idea.

The low sperm count question seems to fall more into the NoFap reddit, you should check with them about that

[–]architectintx 1 points [recovered]  (3 children) | Copy

you have to realize, men dont have a biological clock, as long as you hit the gym hard and keep good lifestyle you are good to go till your late 60s.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (2 children) | Copy

Word. If anything you get more attractive with age until about 40. Even with young women. If you do things right younger guys can’t compete

I’m 24 for example, and I’ve been with girls who were dating me and other 30 yr old guys

I’m a couple years I’ll have a great house, body will be better, career more established, emotions more secure, hobbies better developed, game tighter, nice car

They already have all that

Sucked for my situation but also made me realize that the prime is still coming

[–]Prysefighter1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Yah plus a women's sexual prime is what? 35. Don't panic guys. Just keep improving, every day.

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

Good progress. I get upset over the state of all of this though. Women being able to just drop someone the second you drop frame and she has a million options after

[–]Toxik64 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Dude we are pretty much the same. Also 29. Also have shit game and no abundance mentality. I’m glad you have the self insight to realize this. Let us both fix this and kill it in our 30s

[–]screechhater3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Never dig in your trash.

Never agree to her plans until LTRd up. Even at that, keep your agenda related to your mission.

[–]earlpfeiffer2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Do you have all your fingers and toes? You’re not writing from jail, right? Your credit cards and bank accounts aren’t emptied? You don’t have a life threatening disease, didn’t lose your job and your dick didn’t fall off? No baby mama non-stop psycho calls?

Fantastic. You won. You crushed your crush, dude Nothing to lament. Your takeaway is strong. Keep learning and you will be light years ahead in just a few years as all your mates start to divorce. One thing you might benefit from is to think about the reason you don’t know you won is still because of feelings. Step back like I can because I don’t feel anything and you will see a guy who saw what he wanted, took it, left when it wasn’t worth it, and sought out his mentors to make sure he was on the right path, did an honest self-assessment and immediately took action (lifting). Absolutely excellent straight down the line. A couple of years from now you will be a honed blade plowing the open field.

[–]Joeboard[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Thanks brother. Your comment helped me realize the situation from a different perspective.

[–]adonis_syche3 points4 points  (6 children) | Copy

I'll give you an advice perfect for you. Won't be the most popular one, but here it goes.

Assuming you're American, go to a country like Jamaica, Brazil, India wherever, where Americans are really seen as Gods or something. If your racist ass can't handle that, come to Germany, or go to Holland, where you get the best looking prostitutes legally. Australia works too but I didn't like them too much.

Basically, have sex as much as you feel like. Pay for it, go on dates, do whatever the fuck. Just get it all out of the system, and guess what, sub-conciously, you'd also have abundant mentality seeded in you. Try it once and then tell me if it doesn't work. And then come back here and see your game change like a fucking charmander evolves into a charizard.

Basically, in primate terms, go to a tribe where you'll be more valued and fuck your brain out of your dick, gain the confidence and abundant mentality, and then come back here and see your game get all swaggy with women here.

If your pauper ass can't afford it, start saving up. Don't give me reasons you can't do it. Save a few bucks, make an account on workaway, go to any country, teach English and get your dick wet. YOU NEED IT. YOU ARE TOO DESPO FOR YOUR OWN GOOD, THE WORLD IS TOO CRUEL FOR SOMEBODY SO DESPERATE AS YOU.

#nodisrespekt

[–]0mnipath0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Interesting advice. Curious, have you done something like that? Any experience in working oversees with gigs like from Workaway?

[–]adonis_syche1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

yes but inadvertently. Realized that true feeling of abundance afterwards of a 2 months streak. Even chicks look at you differently. Whenever you're down, you can think back to those times and the rise in confidence just goes through the roof. Personally I prefer Dutch women. But if you're short on cash, go to other countires I have mentioned. French countryside Workaways are great, I remember this chick HB100+ living all vegan and skin shines brighter than moon, she lived in Bordeaux, coastal place. Claimed to be a virgin, but I never believed that. Had the best times of my life though, she cooked, I helped her, we went for skinny dips, talked for hours, I doubt anything else can ever replicate that. With sites like workaway etc, sky is the limit...

[–]0mnipath0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Awesome, thanks for sharing!

[–]Flintblood0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Great advice. Telling yourself to have frame and telling yourself to have abundance is very difficult and may not work. Like Master Yoda says, you have to “unlearn what you have learned”. At first that quote sounds silly, but in fact it’s based af and zeroed in on how the brain and cognition, really works.

One simply doesn’t tell their brain what to think; you have to train it so I can re-wire it self for abundance. Once you’ve wired new pathways that are associated with abundance mentality, then it will be much easier to go about life and hold frame in all situations.

May the frame be with you.

[–]adonis_syche0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Exactly! I mean you can lie to yourself all you want, but that only lasts as long as you are vigilant. Slip up for a sec and you go back to your old patterns like scooby's dick goes in shaggy. Gotta have as many practical experiences as you can, no shame in hiring a dutch prostitute or fucking women from third world countries. brain doesn't know jack shit. a pussy is a pussy

[–]damaged_goods4200 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Ah, the Patrice O Neal approach. Respect.

[–]darksigma8 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy

Did you actually meet up for drinks or something the first time or was it it straight up "meet me at my place"?

[–]Joeboard[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Went out for coffee, talked for a little, invited her back to my place to watch a movie. Made out, escalated.. got her test saying she wanted to wait until tomorrow.. backed off for a little, made out again and escalated and fucked. Had sex for the next 3 days in a row and then basically every other night.

[–]Flintblood1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

It’s really frakked up how they want to lure you in that trap, where they claim to want to be a lot closer and they want to see investment from you, and they want to see your interest in them, but as soon as you open up and allow that to happen, they ice you.

Same thing happened to me recently, but on a much smaller scale. I’ve read and done enough to be able to play the dating app game, and get action. But deep down inside what I (my inner beta maybe) really want is a relationship still. I tend to frak up when I find someone that I really like in terms of their mind and soul and body.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

She’s flexing and training her emotional manipulation muscles... seeing what she’s capable of, ensuring she still has power over beta men.

Emotional manipulation takes practice after all, and she needed a confidence boost that she could lure other men in the same fashion so that when it comes time to settle she knows how to twist a man to suit her

[–]macheagle1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Thanks for sharing OP. May I ask if your parents divorced or you came from a “broken home” so to speak? As I’ve noticed that many of those that are desperate for companionship came from divorced or separated families, or there is unresolved issues with their parents. And so they so desperately seek the comfort and companionship that they lacked earlier in life from their parents, and absolutely fall for any SO. Personally I have nearly 10 friends in my immediate circle like this and know of a few dozen more... I’ve spoken to them about this and they’ve agreed with the assessment as well. Just wondering. Take care and keep up with TRP buddy.

[–]someonesopinion69692 points3 points  (9 children) | Copy

you can either handle it well or you handle it like a pussy.

You handled it like a pussy.

I on the otherhand enjoyed fucking my oneitus because it made me realize that pussy is pussy. men will always chase but pussy holes are replaceable

[–]Endorsed Contributoritiswr1tten6 points7 points  (6 children) | Copy

The biggest AMOG in the comment section of noob posts is always the biggest faggot

Fix yourself before writing this dishonest projection

[–]someonesopinion69690 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

I'm currently fixing myself and reading through the sidebar.

whilst you go back and look at my previous posts, i'm working on myself and trying to provide guidance to others.
that's also the reality of my life being shitty,it could potentially be antisocial personality disorder(which is the male version of borderline)

there's a reason why i feel like an asshole, whilst you go and be a faggot on my previous posts, i'm fixing myself.

[–]BloodSurgery0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

i'm working on myself and trying to provide guidance to others.

Half of your "advice" was "I did it better than you in the same situation". That's not very helpful.

[–]someonesopinion69691 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

He handled his acceptance of fucking his oneitus like a pussy. he could have been thankful and grateful that he managed to eradicate his need for this one cunt and therefore after fucking it. not have the need to chase it? all the magic disappears etc.

or you can handle it like a faggot and complain that the girl wasn't up to standard. its your choice, you're the man

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

The concept of AMOG reeeeally doesn’t apply online.... there can be trolls and assholes however

[–]someonesopinion69690 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

it's always funny when a redpill dude gets butthurt about forum posters...emotional control not present

[–]damaged_goods4200 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Yikes

[–]SlappaDaBayssMon4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

" I on the other hand "

Sit the fuck down don't make this about you.

[–]someonesopinion69690 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

gay

[–]livefreeofdie0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Awesome bro.

There are two types of smart people.

  1. Inherently smart.

  2. People who know they are not smart but want to be smart.

You belong to second category.

I like when you accept you have issues and you will work on that.

You will bro. You will. It's great you got your dick wet and got out.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Well, I feel bad for you and I'm sorry that you got hit while you were already down. Don't be too hard on yourself-- she sounds like a real fuck-up. Good luck, brother. Good things await you.

[–]Endorsed Contributoritiswr1tten0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Good work, you have a ways to go but learned in a few months what might have taken other guys years of their life. Keep grinding and remember who is number one.

[–]0io-0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Don't do it if you know you're going to over-invest and be a wreck afterwards. If you can hook up and not GAF then hook up. When you just enjoy it for what it is, it can be great. But I guess if you're prone to one-itis it's like an alcoholic deciding to just take one drink.

​

Reading the rest of your post carefully, you would indeed benefit from more gym time. Don't go for four years without getting laid. That's way too long. Just be happy that you ended a 4-year streak and decided to get back in shape and go to the gym again. Those are positive things!

[–]006rbc0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

We havn't spoken in the last 10 years.. She's moving back to the state after her bf of 4yrs gives her the boot.

Is she post wall and possibly sees you as beta bucks?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

She’s 29, of course.

[–]Melanoma_man0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Oh what a mess. Hope you improve and don’t hook up with that T.H.O.T again ffs

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

The term thot was created for women like this

[–]red_matrix0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Frame matters. Just be glad you learned something and dodged a bullet.

[–]buttgoogler0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I desperately want a relationship and it causes me to be such a bitch boy and feel like shit.

See, this is one of the main problems. Your beta side craves your significant other next to you in order to be happy. As long as you're relying on women for happiness, you won't have any. Trust me, because I've been there. You need to work on your lifestyle until you're good on your own. Hobbies, traveling, sport. Everything at once, if possible. Then you'll feel free and women will become a great bonus to a life well lived.

[–]InsidiousCurve0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Should of been pretty obvious with all that baggage. Knowing they are just trying to fuck with your head, since they didn't care about you in the past, you should fuck her on the side and that's it. If she goes nuclear, which she will eventually, then just cut her off and move on.

[–]mrpoopistan0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Can people please stop misusing the term "antisocial"?

There's a difference between not being pro-social in your behavior and being antisocial.

Antisocial behavior will get you laid. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Antisocial_personality_disorder

Not being pro social just means spending a night alone playing Fortnite.

[–]alt415100 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Pay for a 50$ haircut and get some stylish clothes. Youll be aight.

[–]ac7140 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Wow. You have a problem but it’s a bit of a nothing problem. Which is to say you’re frustrated to be in neutral. I thought this story was gonna end with how she moved in, trashed your stuff, didn’t pay back loans, or some other crap like that.

You got out of this one relatively clean and wiser for it. Sometimes bad things happen to set us up for better things. Based on your comments I would say this is the start of an upward trend. Don’t be so hard on yourself.

[–]resnine0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I agree with your posted and words on so many levels. The lack of abundance, catching feelings way too quickly, overlooking their flaws/red-flags. Very relatable. You aren't alone I think a lot of people on this sub suffer from these types of insecurities. Have you thought of seeing a therapist about working through these "shadows" in your mind? Heard it's hard to find a good therapist but once you get the right one you can make some real progress. All the problems you have sounds so similar to mine, I'm quite certain the reasons why you aren't getting women are the same as for me, post is way too relatable. Reading No more Mr.Nice Guy and When I Say No I Feel Guilty help a lot.

Also, can someone explain why women do this whole change of heart and then give guys the cold shoulder once the guy lets her into his life? I've experienced this exact same shit. Once you let them into your world with full embrace they disengage all interest...

[–]ShotgunTRP-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

WHERes the question?

Seems like a field report for the main sub



You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

© TheRedArchive 2021. All rights reserved.

created by /u/dream-hunter