Last name change?

AliceOxalis · 2017-02-26T01:25:03+00:00

If your name is Jessica Lyle and you go by Lylie, and you want to marry Jim Jones, why not just change your name to Jessica Jones but still go by Lylie? There's nothing to stop you from doing that it's perfectly valid, nicknames can be whatever we want them to be!

TempestTcup · 2017-02-26T16:21:45+00:00

A friend of mine legally changed her first name to her nickname when she changed her last name. You could change your first name to your nick, change your middle name to your old first name, and then use your husband's last name.

Littlewifey · 2017-02-26T13:34:48+00:00

I'm unsure too!! My first name is the same as his sister. If I take his last name I'll be called exactly like his sister (besides the middle name but that one isn't really used besides on paper). So I'm really unsure about my life right now haha

Trauma_Burn_RN · 2017-02-26T16:28:36+00:00

I went all in and changed my last name, keeping my middle name, and getting rid of my maiden name entirely. I was a little bummed because my maiden name is super cool and my married name, not so much.

However, I think if you are ready to marry a man and join your life to his, you should adopt the same name. It's a show of solidarity, or teamwork. I have friends who took the woman's last name, and I don't have a problem with that either.

My husband called me by my last name while we were dating, and even though it's long gone, he still calls me by it. So it won't be gone forever and ever. If you have kids, you could give them your maiden name as a middle name - both of my uncles and brother have last names as middle names!

Just my 2 cents. I'm not militants about it and don't care what people do, but for me personally, it was important to change my last name to his 💕

Irisandoleander · 2017-02-27T14:46:11+00:00

I'm a stickler about changing the last name -- I think it's disrespectful and a slap in his face to keep your last name.

That's just my $0.02

_TheFantasticMrsFox_ · 2017-02-26T17:53:27+00:00

I think it depends on what your husband thinks. Since we're getting closer to our wedding date, it's something I'm thinking about a lot. Both of our last names are long and unique so a hyphen wouldn't work. I'm excited to take his last name but a little sad to see mine go- it's a family name with a lot of history and passed through the mother not the father so it's also breaking a tradition. But! It's important to me that our family/babies have the same name.

jade_cat · 2017-02-27T18:47:18+00:00

Is there any basis on which a person might not want to get rid of her last name when she marries ?

Yes. When said person is well known in their field of work and/or have lots of publications under their maiden name.

However, in your case, I agree with the solutions in the other comments.

TVEMisty · 2017-02-28T00:55:46+00:00

When I married my husband, the last name thing came up quite a bit. I was adopted by my step dad at 20 and changed my name to my step dad's. Keeping it was very important to me because that was my tie to my dad. My husband felt strongly about me incorporating his last name. Our compromise is I hyphenated, although unless it's in legal documents I don't use my maiden name. Most people don't realize I've hyphenated, they just assume I'm Mrs Hubby because that's how we present my name. Nearly 8 years later, I've thought about changing my name and dropping the hyphenation because it is a pain for most things as there isn't a standard way a hyphenated name is done at places. Sometimes it is Smith-Jones, Smith Jones, Smith - Jones. Until I figure out how they have it in their systems it's a pain then I have to remember how they have it set up, which is a pain.

cynicalhousewife · 2017-03-01T05:12:49+00:00

How about going double barrelled? Does that appeal to you at all? It's kind of like a compromise. You get to take his name but you still get to keep and use yours.

blushinglilly · 2017-02-26T10:52:28+00:00

Why not double barrel?

Jayms · 2017-02-26T15:46:06+00:00

It seems like for you the issue is about the nickname. I don't see why you can't keep it or change it to be your middle name. I personally haven't changed my name yet because of a bunch of travel and immigration issues. I have so many documents in my maiden name that would be time-consuming and expensive to change over. Plus we are awaiting some legal decisions and I don't want to jeopardize that. But once we get the all clear, I'm going to change it. So you could also wait and change it a bit down the road, although there might be more work involved.

BellaScarletta · 2017-02-28T02:02:33+00:00

I am quite attached to my last name as well, but I feel very strongly about taking my man's name. It's such an honour to be asked to bear it.

I will be erasing my current middle name and making my maiden name my legal middle name. I am already 100% committed to that course of action. This way no hypehenations, I take his name, but also keep mine in a manner.

Anything stopping you from doing that?

lackadaisicalily · 2017-02-26T01:42:09+00:00

Some people with really solid careers that are built around their names keep it.

If you're gonna have kids, you should just take his last name, unless both of your last names sound fine hyphenated.

astrared · 2017-02-26T10:36:09+00:00

I also don't feel I'd want to change my last name. It's an old Irish name which I'm very attached to, even more so since my father passed away, and my sibling cannot have children, so I feel like I'm the only one who can pass the name on. I always thought I'd hyphenate, but maybe I'll change my mind when I meet the right man.

xxwifeyxx · 2017-02-27T18:35:26+00:00

As others have said, I don't see why you couldn't just keep your nickname regardless of what happens with your maiden name. Nicknames don't really need to have "context," so I don't think it would be weird for even new people to learn your nickname (and, if they were really curious, it would take all of a couple seconds to explain to them that it was derived from your maiden name).

I was in a similar situation to you -- I love my maiden name, and I also had a nickname derived from it (though it was more of a childhood/school nickname rather than something people call me now). At the same time, I wanted to have the same last name as my husband and our future children. On the flip side, my husband actually dislikes his last name a lot (for various reasons), but he recently reconciled with his estranged father and therefore didn't want to change it out of respect. So I moved my last name to my middle name (in addition to my other middle name) and took his last name, and he added my last name to his middle name. So for example, instead of being John Adam Jones and Mary Smith Jones, we're John Adam Smith Jones and Mary Jane Smith Jones. I've never had an issue with middle name length on legal forms and documents, but if you're concerned about that you could just replace the middle name completely with your maiden name.

Title	Last name change?
Author	i_have_a_semicolon
Upvotes	10
Comments	53
Date	February 26, 2017 1:01 AM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWives
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWives/comments/5w7jgr/last_name_change/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWives/last-name-change.209087 https://theredarchive.com/post/209087

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