Busted!

2016-05-27T17:33:06+00:00

My SO has looked over my shoulder and asked what I was doing. I said something about romantic relationships and gender roles and his eyes glazed over so that was the end of him ever asking again. Hahhahahah.

VintageVee · 2016-05-27T19:01:00+00:00

Yeah, I call it my Happy Wives Club. He isn't a redditor, he wouldn't find the sub and whilst I wouldn't necessarily be thrilled if he saw some of my posts here (I've asked for advice re struggles with my jealousy, other un-pretty things) if he outright asked to see them I'd never hide it. But he has his boys clubs and we respect each others space, internet wise. We have always had an rp relationship but I've never explained it as a thing. We call ourselves traditional. I had to learn rpw - he was born and raised rp, so there's no need to have the discussion.

He's seen my copies of "surrendered single", surrendered wife", "passionate marriage" on my shelf . It's no secret I did a lot of introspection and work on myself after my divorce, so while it's never been discussed , he probably assumes the books relate to me, not him, if you see what I mean? He'd be absolutely right.

guilietta · 2016-05-28T00:42:29+00:00

What on earth would be "horrifying" to a man here? what could he have seen to react like that?

BeautifulSpaceCadet · 2016-05-27T19:18:32+00:00

He does and doesn't. For a long time I didn't tell him anything because TRP stuff would make him throw up, and presented in the wrong light this sub would as well (submitting, "being a doormat", things like that).

Recently though I alluded to my internet friends and explained that I stopped mindlessly Redditing but instead actively participated in just one sub. I told him it was about reinforcing gender roles (to which he replied "obviously, why do people want to fight nature?") and being the best partner you can be rather than focussing on what your partner should do for you. I also told him about our self-care and cooking threads, and let him know I never asked for too much specific advice about us because I felt a bit odd putting our relationship in the hands of Internet strangers. He responded "but sometimes anonymous and uninterested advice is great perspective, and the awesome thing is you don't have to take it", which I totally agreed with. I read him the mandatory questions you have to ask before posting and he really liked them and how they focus on putting all parties under the microscope instead of just ranting.

Finally, I told him I would really prefer him not know what it was called or see my posts (because my handle is a nickname he gave me so if he ever popped by he would spot me in 2 seconds flat) because I sort of think of it as my anonymous social diary, but I also told him if he wanted to make sure all was kosher that I would turn over the links to my posting history. He laughed and said he was happy I had a space I enjoy that focussed on positive things.

I WAS SO RELIEVED.

Kittenkajira · 2016-05-27T19:38:36+00:00

My SO knows, and often reads what I write over my shoulder - mainly because it makes me get all shy and try and hide the screen. Haha. I think I showed him some RP stuff back when I first came across it, and he wasn't too impressed with it (he really doesn't like generalizations). Some of the other things I've linked to him, he has liked - for example one of the links in that that introverted alpha post a couple of weeks ago.

I do know that he has no problem with me reading about surrendering or submission. This one time I was describing to him what a doormat is, using Stepford Wives as an example (which he hadn't seen or read at the time), and he was like "sounds good to me". So being too submissive is not at all a fear of mine, nor is him reading the things I post here. I have no idea if he actually reads things I post here, though.

tradmarriageftw · 2016-05-27T22:20:03+00:00

My husband knows. He doesn't like the assumption that RPW are dating men from TRP. He likes everything I've taken away from here (especially recipes ;) but he does not like TRP.

2016-05-27T18:13:04+00:00

My SO knows, we know each other's Reddit handles. I don't generally talk about it unless it's just something that came up in conversation that I thought he might find interesting.

2016-05-27T19:44:06+00:00

My husband is aware of the manosphere as well as my involvement in the rpwi community. He knows my twitter handle as well. He basically let's me do as I please but has editing rights on my blog.

2016-05-27T20:47:39+00:00

My husband is aware and knows. He's seen some RP stuff and while he loves why rpwi has done for our marriage he as no interest in mrp or trp.

MrsLabRat · 2016-05-27T19:35:35+00:00

I don't ask about his video streaming, he doesn't ask about my redditing. It works well.

mintdrive · 2016-05-28T15:36:51+00:00

Lol its 2016. Everyone is on a forum or something. My bf sees a screen of pink and white aND girly nonsense and carries on watching TV. He doesn't ask and doesn't care what I do online so long as it didn't affect our relationship.

L1vewarePr0blem · 2016-05-27T16:11:09+00:00

Hahaha, no, this hasn't happened to me but I am in the habit of slamming the laptop shut frequently when I hear his car pull up. Another go-to is having a tab of something else open so you can just switch to that one when he walks in view of your computer. My guy isn't in tune with tech enough to scan my tabs or go through anything.

Just curious, did he say specifically why he was shocked, or was it all the pink? ;)

My man did happen upon one of The Feminine Woman's posts that I left up, a lot of which he'd nod along with, but this one was all about how every woman's deepest desire is to have a man take care of her (the anecdote shared was about how the writer was too sick/overwhelmed to complete her homework, so her man, who wasn't even in school, did it all for her and got a better grade than she would have). He came to me that evening saying, "So I saw this...and I think you don't agree with it, but PLEASE tell me you don't agree with it."

Since in my particular relationship, competence and personal responsibility are both non-negotiable, he was rightly horrified! I reassured him that all future homework and work would be totally my responsibility, and he calmed down. Now he knows that I read a lot of blogs related to intersex dynamics, which I have told him stems from the fact that I wish to approach our partnership consciously. He approves.

My partner would be horrified by some aspects of RPWi, namely the focus on taking over all domestic activities for the woman (he loves to cook and our chore balance has always been roughly equal, aside from when he's slammed with work), but would be fist-bumping a lot of other aspects (self-awareness, understanding and loving the masculine).

blushinglilly · 2016-05-27T21:35:34+00:00

My husband doesn't know about this specific community, but then I haven't been a member for long.

Our marriage has been better since I've been following these principles and I've noticed he is happier, so I doubt he'd complain.

mintdrive · 2016-05-27T23:13:55+00:00

My SO is aware of this, but he doesn't browse the subreddits himself. We're able to have some really interesting conversations on social concepts and gender because of it though!

2016-05-28T19:48:49+00:00

My bf knows. He likes that I am invested in making him happy. It's not a big deal.

littleteafox · 2016-05-31T21:59:44+00:00

Nope my SO doesn't, he isn't really into Reddit at all and I'm usually only on it at work since I'm too busy with other stuff in the evenings/weekends. I wouldn't go out of my way to hide anything from him though.

LauraXVII · 2016-05-28T07:26:48+00:00

Boyfriend knows, he's a Redditor so he's aware of TRP, so I had to briefly explain that we're not aiming for the same goal as them. He doesn't really seem to care that much :)

lady_baker · 2016-05-28T13:12:14+00:00

My husband knows. He approves of what this approach has done for our marriage. I don't know if he reads on his own at all.

Title	Busted!
Author	guilietta
Upvotes	11
Comments	47
Date	May 27, 2016 3:54 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWives
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWives/comments/4lbdhs/busted/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWives/busted.209950 https://theredarchive.com/post/209950

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