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TheOGJammies
[–]gretchenlowellFDS Newbie139 points140 points141 points 3 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Or the usual “I’m sorry you feel that way”
[+][deleted] 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
[deleted]
[–]gretchenlowellFDS Newbie7 points8 points9 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Typical scrote behavior, they never admit when they do something wrong. They try to put the blame on us. Good thing you dumped his ass 🙌🏻
[–]Unlikely-MarzipanRuthless Strategist4 points5 points6 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Good on you for having the guts to own your shit, but also for having the guts to realise you don’t need to put up with shit!
I think so many of us women can get into the habit of beating ourselves up for our mistakes, and thinking we deserve anything bad that happens. But if we own it and apologise, we shouldn’t have to keep beating ourselves up. These men make huge “mistakes” and then blame the rest of the world, never owning a thing, and not caring who they hurt!
[–]talldrankofH2OFDS Newbie99 points100 points101 points 3 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link
I have an ex that used to just turn the tables “Well I’m sorry I’m not as perfect as you. You want to talk about an issue? insert weird thing he’s never mentioned before that’s apparently huge “
[–]CosineMeSenpiFDS Newbie55 points56 points57 points 3 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
The deflection is so startling, and my ex did the same thing. No prior mention of this profound grievance until I brought up something he was doing that upset/hurt me.
[–][deleted] 12 points13 points14 points 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Some people are like that. They don’t bring up a problem until you do. I’m not sure why though.
Edit
[–]myousernameRuthless Strategist33 points34 points35 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
It is a manipulation tactic called "blameshifting" or "flipping the script"
They do it to take control of the narrative. Instead of the conversation being about him being bad, he tries to make it seem like both parties are equally to blame, or that she is even worse than him, to absolve himself of any responsibility. This means he never has to put in an effort to improve or change and he can continue being a jerk without any consequences.
[–]throwRAwhatisthisFDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Omg this needs a trigger warning. Makes me angry enough to break something lol.
[–]Elisa_LaViudaNegraFDS Newbie21 points22 points23 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Omg. Why can some men never bring up issues until we are bringing up a perfectly reasonable issue with their behavior? Like, why is this the first time I’m hearing about this?
Oh. Because you can’t stand to be held accountable so you have to deflect and bring up your thing rather than explain your behavior and apologize. Got it.
[–]daisy_0720FDS Disciple10 points11 points12 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
That is an immediate dump. No man who loves you would sit on past 'misdeeds' for months on end, waiting for the opportunity to weaponize them against you.
[–]Unlikely-MarzipanRuthless Strategist6 points7 points8 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yea it’s BS! I had a boyfriend that was literally pissed off because of a text I sent to him months before. It was something as simple as forgetting about putting kisses at the end (because I was busy and he was about to call in the next 10 mins!) and then said my voice wasn’t happy enough on the phone. Bought this up a month later. Wtf.
[–]WeWereOkayFDS Newbie6 points7 points8 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Omg THIS.
[–]Ketolove604FDS Newbie46 points47 points48 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
HAHAHA. Men who make no effort to change and say "that's just the way I am" gets a hard pass from me.
[–]xtreexcultxFDS Newbie38 points39 points40 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
“i’M kInD oF aN AsShOlE” like it’s some fun personality quirk
[–]Sage_PlanterFDS Disciple44 points45 points46 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
"I'm sorry I'm not perfect! I try so hard."
[–]heythereitsemilyFDS Newbie30 points31 points32 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
They’ll explain something toxic about themselves and then say “I know, but that’s just how I am.” Well okay buddy, my time in therapy and soul searching to improve myself wasn’t all for some loser that just accepts their bad qualities as “who they are.”
[–]bbch2019FDS Newbie19 points20 points21 points 3 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
I just looked into a thought today it was: do men work on their psychology and spiritual development as much as women do. The answer, no, this was not a surprise to me but it was discouraging. The pandemic has stirred up a lot within me, I have made it a goal to prioritize my own mental health and my spirituality. I am healing from childhood wounds that have in the past made me self destructive and codependent. It's a lot of work but I know it's so worth it and the best thing I have ever done in my life. On a whole I feel so good, there are some tough battles I am fighting too. I am feeling everything and some of the emotions are hard but again it's worth it. That being said knowing that men are not putting in this kind of work with themselves is so disappointing. I would like to get to a point where I date again when I know I am healthy enough for it but if men aren't healthy why should I date? Is it really worth it to fall down that rabbit hole? Will there be anyone out there that deserves me as a healthy, financially stable, spiritual, goal oriented person? I will not get involved with someone that needs to be fixed. I will not support a man financially. I will not allow abusive behavior. I will not allow myself to get caught up with someone that is codependent. I will not allow someone to manipulate me. I will not allow someone to objectify me. There is no way in hell that I am going to put all this work into myself then allow an unhealthy man to destroy the work I have done because he doesn't work on his BS. Do healthy men exist? Will dating even be worth it or do I just not bother at all? I don't know, this is something I think about as I go on this journey. I guess when it's time and I am 100% ready I will have to consider it. If I had to answer the question today the answer would be no.
[–]shoesfromparis135Pickmeisha™️8 points9 points10 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I’ve been thinking this exact same thing all day. It’s so disillusioning and depressing. I have no solution to offer. I’m just here to say you’re not alone.
[–]Unlikely-MarzipanRuthless Strategist5 points6 points7 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I totally get it, and honestly wish I stayed single when I was in that healthy space. I don’t think it’s worth it, but I think that’s because there are so many LVM out there, it’s too risky.
Screenshotted and saved. Seems like us ladies are on the same spiritual journey and it’s so validating. Thanks for this.
[–]CrazybeautyaddictFDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Omg I've been going through the same transformation and I relate 100%. It makes me wonder if there are many guys out there who work on building self awareness, personal development or just are emotionally mature enough. I know one guy in my life and that's because he's currently majoring in Psychology & Philosophy so it isn't an odd thing for him. But otherwise, I know zero men who are like me.
[–]throwRAwhatisthisFDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Be wary of the philosophy types. FDS is very wary of philosophy or psychology majors. Many LVM use that knowledge to manipulate their thinking/reasoning into looking legitimate.
There was a video not too long ago where a male psychologist manipulated things to suit a sexist view. Which is pretty common unfortunately.
[–]djfrankenjuiceFDS Newbie15 points16 points17 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Ahahahahaha love it
[–]CoffeeBeforeAdultyFDS Newbie11 points12 points13 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Sorry I slapped myself but I thought you wanted me to leave and I wanted to show you how much that hurt ME.
[–]nothingtoseehere70FDS Newbie8 points9 points10 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
ole "SoRrY iM nOt PeRfEcT" headasses. No one asked for perfection, that's not even possible. anything to deflect tho.
[–]sashimi_girlFDS Newbie5 points6 points7 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Or they text you the word “sorry” and that’s IT
[–]Buckley92FDS Apprentice3 points4 points5 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
When even the other men look intimidated by him, you know this guy is low value.
[–]Unlikely-MarzipanRuthless Strategist2 points3 points4 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
😂 accurate
[–]bootyinspector9000FDS Newbie7 points8 points9 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
God I used to love the simpsons. (Only got Disney+ to watch it. ) Now it's so hard to watch. Just the gross relationship dynamic. "Marge, grab me a beer" ugh
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[–]gretchenlowellFDS Newbie139 points140 points141 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[+][deleted] (2 children) | Copy Link
[deleted]
[–]gretchenlowellFDS Newbie7 points8 points9 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Unlikely-MarzipanRuthless Strategist4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]talldrankofH2OFDS Newbie99 points100 points101 points (8 children) | Copy Link
[–]CosineMeSenpiFDS Newbie55 points56 points57 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 12 points13 points14 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]myousernameRuthless Strategist33 points34 points35 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]throwRAwhatisthisFDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Elisa_LaViudaNegraFDS Newbie21 points22 points23 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]daisy_0720FDS Disciple10 points11 points12 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Unlikely-MarzipanRuthless Strategist6 points7 points8 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]WeWereOkayFDS Newbie6 points7 points8 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Ketolove604FDS Newbie46 points47 points48 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]xtreexcultxFDS Newbie38 points39 points40 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Sage_PlanterFDS Disciple44 points45 points46 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]heythereitsemilyFDS Newbie30 points31 points32 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]bbch2019FDS Newbie19 points20 points21 points (6 children) | Copy Link
[–]shoesfromparis135Pickmeisha™️8 points9 points10 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Unlikely-MarzipanRuthless Strategist5 points6 points7 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]throwRAwhatisthisFDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]CrazybeautyaddictFDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]throwRAwhatisthisFDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]djfrankenjuiceFDS Newbie15 points16 points17 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]CoffeeBeforeAdultyFDS Newbie11 points12 points13 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]nothingtoseehere70FDS Newbie8 points9 points10 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]sashimi_girlFDS Newbie5 points6 points7 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Buckley92FDS Apprentice3 points4 points5 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Unlikely-MarzipanRuthless Strategist2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]bootyinspector9000FDS Newbie7 points8 points9 points (0 children) | Copy Link