Approach. Because it's getting sad out there.

JPVoltaire · 2019-02-09T04:25:20+00:00

I’m in college and I see this everywhere. There can be 30+ people standing together waiting for a class, and every single one of them is just staring at their phone. Wild.

LightSkinKen · 2019-02-09T04:26:41+00:00

Social media : “Where everyone is alone together”

Auvergnat · 2019-02-09T06:00:18+00:00

Approach anxiety has always made day game something only a small % of guys do. Smartphones and #metoo fear have reduced this even further.

You say it's "getting sad out there", I'm saying it's "getting easier and easier out there" given how girls crave some real-world attention that no men give them nowadays outside of bars and clubs.

My day gaming has become excessively simple:

Open on a prop, or break the ice with a comment on our common environment.
Make small talk peppering the convo with value baits for her to hook on and get invested.
Continue till she's getting curious and starts asking personal questions.
Abandon if she doesn't hook. Get number to "continue this conversation another time" if she does.

That's it. No line. No gimmick. Just normal conversation. Indirect approaching like this basically voids any #metoo risk. You're just talking about the weather with a random stranger. You only voice your interest once she's voiced hers.

axxxman · 2019-02-09T10:05:21+00:00

[Deleted] due to Reddit policy.

huggyblossom · 2019-02-09T04:23:52+00:00

Because woman have hundreds of online validations everyday, but as we all know nothing beats the live show where she sees you whole in person.

Tenth_10 · 2019-02-09T06:08:57+00:00

" How ironic that the use of "social media" has made us less social. "
Our decade's cancer. This gets me really worried for my kids' future... how low this will go ?

PolarAutomata · 2019-02-09T11:56:09+00:00

With all the bullshit I read about sexual harassment, I don't even care anymore. I am losing all desire to even associate with women anymore.

Vikingcel · 2019-02-09T04:42:52+00:00

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gbnz87 · 2019-02-09T05:56:19+00:00

> The saying here is that once you approach a girl you're already top 10%, I'd put that number the fuck down after what I've experienced with a bud of mine.

I would put it up from my experience. Whenever I go out its always more men then women everywhere and whenever I go out to a bar to approach I usually get one girl who starts getting frustrated that theyve not been left alone all night and are sick of getting approached. As a total of society there are plenty of people that live at home and do nothing that bring that percentage down but out of the people out there id say its way more common for men to approach.

Also women dont like to hear it but they often make themselves really difficult to approach. For example sitting in a corner reading a book or with headphones on or when they are out with friends they sit close together in deep conversation or they go out with a cockblocking friend (either shes the jealous type or shes married) They also give some really awful signals to men and its no wonder they dont pick up on them.

Cold approach is a really hard thing to do as you need really thick skin. As you begin you will be nervous and of course a lot of women will get "creeped" out by that. Some girls are really nasty when they reject you others are quite gentle. If your first few nervous approaches are met with some terrible responses its easy to put approach into the too hard basket like I did for several years. Looking back at it the the bad rejections are the best things you can get as you know its not worth spending any more time with them, you can just leave immediately and move on to a more receptive woman. The worst that can happen is that they try poke you in the eyes or they start yelling swear words at you for saying hello (ive had both) They are just terrible human beings that no one would want anything to do with.

maroonblood94 · 2019-02-09T05:55:37+00:00

“When looking at the men of today with this in mind, those who could be thought to have women’s pulse are many indeed, and those who seem like real men few indeed. Because of this, if one were to make a little effort, he would be able to take the upper hand quite easily.” -Hagakure, Book of Samurai

Amazing that simply approaching a woman these days can put a man in the top percentage by making a little effort.

the-dan-man · 2019-02-09T10:41:02+00:00

People are tired, and they are stressed. They don't want to have conversations on the bus or train, they want to get to work and get home and relax.

And why talk to these broads on the bus anyway? What makes you think they will be interesting? This is the main factor for me, when i used to do cold approaches a couple years ago, it was fun at first and exciting, but the novelty wore off. And after some experience, and many more interactions with women cold approach and not, i just got bored. These women are NOT interesting. Maybe 1 in 100 will have something unique to say as opposed to just mimic the required responses regurgitate the same phrases, pop culture references and same old shit.

At the end of the day, it comes down to how desperate you are to get laid. That desperation drives guys to do oddball things, and it always will. Now i kind of see that desperation as sad and needy. Talking to new girls at parties and other events is a piece of piss for me, and i can do it, but ironically i just don't get that excited by it or seek the opportunity for such events out.

ghettobutmellow · 2019-02-09T04:39:30+00:00

It's getting 'sad out there' because men are getting accused left and right of sexual harassment and rape. I get life is a risk but cold approaches are literal Russian roulette.

Back in the PUA days all we had to worry about was social anxiety. Now the climate is different. Women are encouraged to be a victim.

Doesn't mean you should give up but perhaps a man must be smart about it.

atticusfinch1973 · 2019-02-09T11:46:01+00:00

For those guys who are nervous about this stuff, start easier.

One strategy I used at the beginning is just to hit the mall and go shopping - not to buy anything. When you're in stores just talk to clerks and people and ask questions. Men or women. Once you feel comfortable do it with a couple of hot girls as if you're a customer. Get used to just striking up conversations with anyone and everyone.

People don't know how to have conversations any more.

clon3man · 2019-02-09T06:33:09+00:00

I always remembered as kid I was shocked at how people keep to themselves on public transit. Same thing for wal-mart and other busy places. It's a bad habit that we all just learned even before social media and computers. Maybe it's something that's more common in large cities that have a melting pot of difference cultures and language barriers.

I think that a lot of the isolation we experience stems from that - the default mode to ignore people you encounter unless you're in a tiny room with them with very few people.

VisiblePlan · 2019-02-09T07:03:12+00:00

I needed this, got to get back out there, get back in the gym, and start making 2019 my year. Thanks my man.

shamorunner · 2019-02-09T05:01:23+00:00

The sad state of humanity, especially the future is looking grim. For a vast majority of the upcoming generations through college and younger, they're trained to sit in line, get the tar beat outta them for asking the wrong question, and slammed for having a unique idea. Technology is woven into everything, but basic face to face interactions are presented on a level of public speaking or sit there and listen. People freak out when they don't have their phone, not because they're afraid of missing something but the fear of having to something without technology petrifies them more than missing some thing in the digital world. Cold approaches are basic: go up to someone and start with something basic and work up to a convo or move on. Either way, you flipped a switch on that person, as they're were moving through their glim glum daily life and were expecting you. At my college of 7-8k, I can walk around all of campus and I can count on one hand how people I didn't beat me to the punch of flipping my switch instead of me flipping theirs throughout my three years here so far. Something as basic as saying "Hi" or "How's your day going?" now catch people off guard, cause them to blush and act bashful, freeze up and stutter, or their eyes flash in panic and they keep walking but now with a sudden panic of social interaction with someone they don't know. People that know me ask me how I knew the person I just had a full conversation with, and nearly every time is someone I've never seen in my life and I started a convo to see if they'd merely respond and then suddenly we're solving the worlds problems. When it comes to females, they're eyes suddenly light up because I'm the first person outside of their close circle to see how they're doing, let alone hold eye contact instead of walking the other direction in fright. The basic idea of talking to some gal you don't know is so foreign to many guys that they have trouble talking to females in their own friend group and tend to struggle greatly with even talking to a dude they don't know. So many sit there with their earbuds in, head down, staring at their phone, or flat out walk in the opposite direction just to avoid face to face interaction. The basic social interaction is as far gone to many as that of fighting with sword and shield. For the people that actually cold approach and flip switches, it's wicked fun and those with preffering their phone over legit human interaction are living in a blue pill world that covers them from what will change their life.

panconquesofrito · 2019-02-09T17:32:25+00:00

Cold approaches can be pretty f* awful too. I walk through the world like women do not exist. I interact with them in natural settings like my dance classes and in my social circles, house parties. However, in the grocery store or whatever, hell nah! They are all yours lol

think_9090909 · 2019-02-09T08:12:51+00:00

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DarkSyde3000 · 2019-02-09T09:47:43+00:00

This is by far the easiest time to set up your social calendars with women. It's NEVER been this easy, except maybe after WWII in Russia where the population of women outnumbered men more than 2 to 1 due to massive casualties. Take a good look next time you're out somewhere and look at all the effeminate males walking around. As long as you don't look like a homeless bum with zero personal hygiene you should be pulling some impressive numbers these days without much issue. The television says women are all for this girl power bullshit going on right now, along with the #metoo nonsense. They're not. As many have already said, they crave attention so give them some and prosper. ;)

WaspOnAWall · 2019-02-10T17:09:19+00:00

Here's the thing though, the approach was only half-right, or he wouldn't have gotten rejected at first. Direct approach doesn't work so well, because it's too obvious and at the instant T of approaching, the girl is most likely not interested in you yet unless you have obvious value like good looks and status, so she'll reject you based on her current opinion. That's why you want to take an indirect approach, as much as possible. For instance, in a public transport, you situate yourself close by, then you put on a little act where you ask her for directions. Or you compliment her shoes and ask her where she got them, because you're looking for something similar as a gift. Or whatever else bullshit excuse you can think of that's reasonable in that situation. Then you intersperse a bit of small talk with a bit of seduction, and you see where this leads you. Not every interaction will be fruitful, but at least it's more likely to be pleasant and feel natural for both parties involved.

PS2Errol · 2019-02-09T05:04:39+00:00

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THEdirtyDotterFUCKr · 2019-02-09T10:29:08+00:00

I see this, glued to your phone ignoring everything around you. The worst is concerts, tiny white squares distracting me from the show. But that is a rant for another day.

In my age group, I see it more of keeping tabs on their kids, or females searching sending and replying with memes. I have a female acquaintance who for the past 3 years (according to her) has not sent a single txt or made a call to another friend. They simply send each other memes to describe their day or what they are feeling. I have an aunt in Latin America that sends me memes every morning like clockwork about having a glorious day... OK so my rant was not over.

at any rate, OP has a point, you put yourself in the highest percentile by simply talking to someone you do not know. You will very likely still strike out but if you keep at it, eventually you are going to get your dick wet.

eluethero · 2019-02-09T17:28:30+00:00

You are damn right. It is got to a point that some girls will make you feel like "pervert" by just randomly approaching them and starting a natural process. I do not get it, do we really need to go some place which you can hardly hear yourself and get drunk then only if you are on a lucky day you can get something or in some cases you need dance like a maniac whole night in order to get it. It is a shame all dating/game thing has become like this.

empatheticapathetic · 2019-02-09T21:10:05+00:00

I’ve unsubbed from MGTOW and other ‘men’s’ forums that focus exclusively on the horror of feminism due to the fear and disgust it’s been causing in myself. These feelings result in being less social, more pessimistic and more angry/sad. There is a balance to uphold as it’s important we understand and acknowledge the risks out there but here the balance was tipped as to cause inaction and apathy. Working on changing this negative mindset I’ve cultivated.

TheRealBrotherLouie · 2019-02-09T08:37:15+00:00

Thank God I grew up in a village. No matter if you know the person or not, you live in the same place and you're gonna salute and talk to each other. If you pretend you're just in a bigger village, and you know that talking to people is the most normal thing ever, go talk to them . We are a community, or , as Constanza says, WE LIVE IN A SOCIETY

tchower · 2019-02-09T23:53:39+00:00

I always wonder what to do when she tells me she has a boyfriend, if I should proceed or move on these days. Either she tells me or I find out via social media. I’ve definitely fucked girls with boyfriends and fucked girls in relationships, but so many girls I approach that are eyeing me are taken or in some type of relationship.

WarriorMonkMode · 2019-02-10T04:56:59+00:00

Technology and social media is not a substitute for physical human interaction, at least not yet.

A man who can cold approach without the crutch of social media is a one-eyed man in the land of the blind.

TRP8myfeels · 2019-02-09T16:51:58+00:00

People everywhere are missing good strong genuine connections. It doesn't take anything more than aggressive friendliness and a constant approach to people you are attracted to, to build a community around you that thrives.

So few people are doing it that it instantly makes you stand out as the alpha male if you aren't a total fucking autist. Even if you are socially idiotic, it still garners you a ton of social proof as long as you have something of value to offer those that you are approaching.

The best part about that is by approaching more and more people, you naturally pick up all sorts of contacts. Someone needs a home wired up for sound throughout and in the back yard? You know a guy.

Roof leaking? You know a guy. Lawnwork? Pool work? Professional lifter? Crossfitness tips? You fucking know people.

Go out and engage with people everywhere that you go. Be social about your interests and bam. You are the hub of something bigger.

PS2Errol · 2019-02-09T12:24:40+00:00

Very good post from the OP. Very good indeed.

neso225 · 2019-02-09T12:26:24+00:00

You are right, when i ride transport the only people that are total strangers and comunicate are elderly people

RevolutionaryPea7 · 2019-02-09T12:36:39+00:00

I've actually got numbers from cold approach before, but I've got zero lays. Maybe my text game isn't strong, but I try not to waste any time at all texting. What I lack when I cold approach is pre-selection. Without that I'm just not good enough. But I consistently get laid through other means when my pre-selection is strong.

soadaa · 2019-02-09T13:55:32+00:00

Still been struggling to make progress in the cold approaches. I have made a few approaches (which used to be zero) and gotten two numbers, but I wait for perfect moments or make excuses. I equate it to when first going to the gym you can be nervous or self conscious, hell I struggled to bench the bar my first day. You just have to be consistent to make progress.

I also know it's all in my head. I'm not a knockout, but I should easily be smashing consistently if I just got out of my head and worked that social muscle. Meeting girls online doesnt bother me in the least and I feel suave at times. Someone I havent spoken to? I'm 17 again and my mind blanks.

VickVaseline · 2019-02-09T15:18:35+00:00

Social media is the exact opposite of genuine human relationships.

Infla-mood · 2019-02-09T15:21:58+00:00

This also applies to men, older women, anyone really. Developing the ability to look people in the eye and engage with them on a personal level. The more old ladies you chat to in line, the more experience you gain for approaching girls.

Zech4riah · 2019-02-11T10:53:50+00:00

I think this "if you approach you are top 10% man" is pretty much same kind of mental masturbation than "She left/rejected you because you are too high value".

LightofFate · 2019-02-26T05:43:48+00:00

Yeah, It sucks. Anxiety is a thing. It's the reason I can't approach women regularly, I only do it when in a good mood and the girl is on her own, usually. I just can't be asked with groups.

I have no anxiety in nightclubs though, it's so easy in comparison.

Lubomir1994 · 2019-02-09T14:30:50+00:00

Bullshit.

I have approached more than 100 girls. Absolutely 0 success. They didn't even want to talk to me. In clubs, on the street, in bars. I was confident, in the zone, whatever, but immediately they would be turned off because I am a stranger. I am also white and 6'1" (but apparently not good looking enough to beat Chad on her Tinder app).

Cold approaching is associated with weirdos or trashy construction workers. But yeah, if you are very attractive to begin with, cold approach might work occasionally, but Tinder would give way better results.

Title	Approach. Because it's getting sad out there.
Author	ghettobutmellow
Upvotes	454
Comments	134
Date	February 9, 2019 4:10 AM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/aooukj/approach_because_its_getting_sad_out_there/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/approach-because-its-getting-sad-out-there.218388 https://theredarchive.com/post/218388

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