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Need to get a grip.

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February 19, 2019

So I been dating this chick for almost 9 months now. Before the relationship I ran my map and created a whole new life for myself. I’m jacked (I run gear) I’d say I’m in the top percent of looks. I have a great job. That’s allowing me to get out of all the debt my addiction caused (2 years clean now). Upped my style. My game has always been on point. I used to be into PUA before red pill (high N count). My mission has been laid out and written down. It mostly consist of the person I want to become. And how to get there. Along with being a dad. Family man. And building my business, my hobbies, and other things.

Met this chick and I was ready this time to be a better captain. I laid boundaries. I had all my shit together and till this day she says she never met anyone like me. She tells me all this shit she loves about me everyday. She’s more than obsessed and we are on the same page with a lot of shit. It’s fun as fuck to be around her and no lie at this point we fuck anywhere from 1-3 times a day. The fact that things are so good has me absorbed in this woman. I can totally see myself marrying her and having kids with her one day.

BUT I can tell im beginning to develop oneitis. Which is weird bc I have always had abundance and would cheat bc of all the chicks I would have hitting on me and mostly validation issues. This time I said I wouldn’t cheat to myself. So I have been working on myself and the relationship but I find my self thinking about it all day. I have never been this good to a woman before and I’m afraid it’s going to bite me in the ass. Im afraid of too much beta killing the attraction. She says she loves everything I do for her. She constantly brags about it. But all I can think about is you have to keep up your alpha. So I draw back at the slightest unpleasant behavior. I lift. I do bjj. Snowboard. Stocks. Plan run shit And hangout with my boys at least once a week. But still I feel like I’m more beta to her than I have ever been to anyone. As I do a lot for her constantly. I do it because I want to but I still have a fear of it biting me in the ass and down the road leading to less or no sex. Bc right now I can’t even go to the store without her blowing me in the car. I realize this fear sounds crazy but I have it. And I’m sick of dwelling on it.

I’m constantly Trying to keep things perfect. If one thing goes wrong. Like this morning. I had to get ready for work and I was fucking her and she stopped me. And told me to get ready. I could feel myself getting butthurt and thinking. I know how much time I have to get there. Don’t stop me. Then I think I need to withdrawal, I need to withdrawal attention. But When I do she can’t handle it it seems and it makes things worse. Almost like I’m giving unfair punishment. Which I probably am.

I’m causing myself to legit go crazy. I can see myself becoming insecure for no reason. Bc she works at a bar. I get insecure. Thinking about her exes. Or certain shit she says. I get butthurt inside. And I don’t even know why. I stfu but I still get quiet. The thing is I KNOW this is a me issue. That this shit sounds stupid to you guys who been here a while. But it’s real for me. And I could use some advice or perspective. How to cut this shit. I’m literally internally on the verge of ruining a great relationship. For no other reason than my mind.

I have dread. Get hit on when we’re out. I have almost everything it seems going for me. On paper I’m the fucking prize. My hamster to myself is. Go cheat so you can take your mind off her. And stop caring so much.

I legit feel like a pussy inside and idk where the fuck it came from or what steps to take to get rid of it. I’m lifting. I’m thinking about her. I’m working. Her. It’s becoming too much. And I need a perspective change to keep me happy and relationship healthy.

Post Information
Title Need to get a grip.
Author Bulk_king11
Upvotes 18
Comments 67
Date 19 February 2019 11:14 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/218988
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/asgtcy/need_to_get_a_grip/
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butthurtMAPalphabetaabundancedread gamehamsterliftgamethe red pillPUA

[–]resolutions31625 points26 points  (3 children) | Copy

You are focused on what you want to avoid.

When a car spins out, they tell you to look where you want to go....not at the wall.

Why? Because when you look at the wall - even if all you want to do is avoid it - you’ll subconsciously drive towards it.

Focus on what you WANT. Not on what you don’t.

Your stress and inability to enjoy yourself will bring about the exact outcome you don’t want.

[–]phatphreak6661 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I did that shit exactly. Driving the car staring at the fucking wall instead of looking at the road. My stress and my insecurities brought about the exact outcome that I didn't want.

[–]Bulk_king11-1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy

I like this. Good thought but I been focused on what I want. And doing what I want. But in my head. I’m red pill brainwashed and thinking it’s going to bite me in the ass for being too good to her

[–]matrixtospartanatLVRed Beret12 points13 points  (0 children) | Copy

You fuck.

Read the last paragraph of your OP.

Read R316s comment again.

Now read your response.

Read the last paragraph of your OP.

Read R316s comment again.

Read your response, again.

You ARE focused on her.

Now, can you see your ego?

Instead of defending yourself, TRY to see WHY someone would take the time to write something to you.

[–]matrixtospartanatLVRed Beret28 points29 points  (19 children) | Copy

You’re afraid.


You fear some other alpha will out-alpha you and cuck you in your own relationship.

You are losing your abundance mentality and outcome independence as a result.

All of the shit that makes her want to fuck you and blow you every single day, is the same shit she will complain about in 3-5 years as she tries to betaize you to keep you from leaving the nest she has built with you with the new hatchlings. It’s her nature to do so. Dogs bark. Babies cry. Women betaize.

Physically, externally, by your description, you are probably in the top 1%. And..

Emotionally, internally, by your description, you are average, or below average compared to your external success.

We get it. You’re good with women. Successful in business. You run gear and you’re jacked and tan and juicy as fuck.

But in the arena of your mind, you’re a scared little boy afraid of losing your favorite pet to someone who might try to steal it from you, or your pet might run off to be with a master it might like better, and YOU CAN’T STOP IT FROM DOING SO.

How much time do you spend developing your mind compared to the time you spend in the gym?

I’m not talking about the intellectual shit that allows you to bank from doing good business.

I’m talking the emotional shit. How intellectually in control are you of your emotional feelings? You know, that one area MOST men fail at.

If you are a high value alpha male, then chances are you have yourself a high value female, OTHER high value alphas and almost every other swinging dick would like to have.

A lot of us, below you in the food chain, don’t feel like you do, because our relative 6’s don’t attract the attention of 10s like you. All we have to do is be an 8 and she’s blowing US on the way to the store, and we feel good about ourselves in relation to her.

You don’t get that level of dread. You’re a 10 to her 9.5, and she has a buffet spread before her every night at work, literally.

You are losing your shit on the battlefield of your mind.

You take gear, hit the gym, and do sports including BJJ.


Your success in business doesn’t happen by accident. You must invest a lot of time to make that shit profitable, no?

What investment have you made in your emotional center? Specifically, what books have you read to lay a solid foundation for your mind to control your emotions and run a program that ultimately makes you happy?

Here, it’s the sidebar.

Read it? How many times? Once? Twice?

The above average reader retains 10% of what they read.

If you have read the entire sidebar less than 10 times, you have work left to do.

But there’s one tome, based on your specific current circumstances, that I would strongly recommend to you, RIGHT NOW.

“The Unchained Man,” by Caleb Jones.

Your emotional center is your weakest link.

It’s not too late, but it’s past time you start doing the mundane, boring, tedious shit you need to do.

Read, and develop your mind.

Now, stop your sniveling and whining and


[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red6 points7 points  (9 children) | Copy

Where the fuck have you been?

[–]johneyapocalypseThe one that says "Bad Motherfucker"4 points5 points  (6 children) | Copy

He's been in nirvana, banging college girls and demanding anal sex.

Where the fuck else would he be?

[–]matrixtospartanatLVRed Beret2 points3 points  (5 children) | Copy

If you have to DEMAND anal sex from a college girl, you’re doing it(her) wrong!

How the FUCK are YOU doing?

[–]johneyapocalypseThe one that says "Bad Motherfucker"2 points3 points  (4 children) | Copy

Bro, I demand some god damn respect. Can I get a hallelujah? Whoa.

With that said, I'm good kemosabe, real good. Surprisingly good.

Good like I haven't felt good in ages. Like I'd forgotten what feeling this good could feel like.

I could encourage myself to feel good, sure.

And I did.

I could persuade myself to feel good.


And I did.

I could wake up thinking I was good and yet ignore the reality:

I was willing that 'feeling' to be so with each and every passing day… a routinely false and certainly inflated sense of well-being... yah, man, each and every day I made that my routine.

And it served me well.

But in retrospect I had not - for years - years that coincided with my struggles - woken up and naturally, unintentionally, unequivocally and without intention or reservation - actually felt so good.

And yet… of late… that has been happening. More than once. It happens often, now.

… and it feels good.

… and you… fucker… you asking how I feel… well…

… that's the proverbial icing on the cake. No homo (maybe a little homo) … but that feels good too.

So, so long I've battled.

So, so long I've fought the odds.

So, so long I've beaten the odds.

And I'm two - two, motherfucker - months away from the official proclamation… "you are cured."

But the reality… my reality… well, it's a (nearly) foregone conclusion. It will happen.

Fuck it. It is happening. It has happened.

To make a long and particularly dramatic and boring story a lot shorter, I now wake up feeling fucking good. Feeling fucking confident.

Feeling like I can and will take over the world.

I had grown accustomed to that feeling for ages... long, long ago and far, far away.

Yet I lost touch with that feeling for nearly a decade. That feeling - now - it is imbuing me with a sense of wonder, a sense of opportunity, and a sense of peace.

That feeling, well, it's beautiful, dude.

That's how I'm doing.

p.s. I'm going to drop a couple of articles on MRP (as opposed to this cesspool) since I happened to login and see SK's call to action. They will be supreme. Perhaps even earth-shattering. Certainly a unique and profound take on frame.

p.p.s Red, bro, what's happening? You a Mormon minister yet?

p.p.p.s. MCT, you still digging cock? When are you switching to our side, homo?

Out and thanks for your help.

Matrix, as always... you're my man.

[–]FereallyRedHard Core Red1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Aren't you supposed to be dead?

Glad you're still kicking, man.

[–]RuleZeroDADRed Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

The real changes come when you start thinking about yourself instead of death.

It's a challenge to think of what to do with the time. Death sort of becomes a goal, a destination that is acceptable because of the finality and the fact no one can hold you responsible for anything anymore.

Resetting your stages of grief intelligently is harder than it sounds.

[–]matrixtospartanatLVRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Dude, when I read your shit, I don’t know whether to laugh, cry, drink, masturbate, or take a warm shower.

Always a pleasure.

Glad you’re well.

No homo.

[–]weakandsensitive0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

i hope /u/red-sfpplus, /u/mrchad_thundercock , and /u/rulezerodad all see this.

think reddit doesn't send if more than 3 people are tagged

[–]matrixtospartanatLVRed Beret0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Around...like a hole in a donut, and the less doughnuts I have, the more holes I’ll enjoy!

My ship is on the horizon, with 30% more cargo than initially expected. Had to dredge the harbor and build a bigger pier. Logistically, I have accounted for every dollar and where it’s going, including the extra.

In the meantime I have a LOT to learn about plate spinning. I’ve never done it before, not ever. I’ve been in 3 monogamous relationships the last 32 years. I’m at the point where I’m coming to a fuller awareness of what I DON’T know, and THAT intrigues me.

I’m writing an FR for MRP when I’m ready, but I got a chuckle out of the advice given to me by a 41yo F direct coworker. She told me I need to enjoy my life, don’t worry about and don’t accept female drama, and the way to do that is have 2-4 in rotation at all times. She’s 5’7”, blonde, 125lbs. And she told me if I need any help setting that up all I had to do is ask. We’ve known each other 15 years and she knows how I’ve been, The beta/nice guy up until now. I got the feeling she’d like to be in the rotation. Big nope for a direct coworker, but fun to think about, nonetheless.

I’ve recently read 4 books by Caleb Jones in the Blackdragon series. Seriously radical relational shit. Thought provoking, and challenging. More shit I don’t know enough about.

I’ve embraced intermittent fasting; 4/20. Not quite OMAD, my active job is pretty tough for OMAD. Still, the health benefits are obvious and I am the smallest I’ve been in just over 30 years. I’m now 6’, 221lbs. Down from an all time high of 315lbs and the 265lbs when I started with MRP.

Pushups, planks, and farmers walks have given me a LOT of confidence. I like the smiles from women, but the acknowledgement from men that acknowledge/defer to me is the real deal. Never experienced that before. You know what I’m talking about.

I started pushing it too soon. My 21yo plate shattered and my 24yo plate turned out to be 27yo with 2 kids by different fathers. I walked away from that so fast, I almost didn’t hear it hit the ground and break behind me. My 37yo plate caught a bad case of boyfriend before I started spinning her. But that won’t last, and when I do start spinning her, she’ll be able to come and go as she pleases. There’s a pun in there somewhere.

Maybe it’s my age at 57, but right now all my success is coming from plates that are 41, 45, 47, and 48yo. I’m only actively spinning the 48yo, with the 45yo being my next endeavor. It’s true what I’ve read, women in their 40’s aren’t as hot or tight as a 20yo, but they want sex for the sake of sex, horny as fuck.

Been researching SugarBaby game. Learning about Cost Per Fuck and game time needed to seal the deal. I can get a SugarBaby CPF at about $125 with a meet-to-sex time of less than 2 hours. Based on my personal estimates and what I’ve read here the last 2 years, most of us have a cpf of $500-$2000. More in extreme cases for the newbies. Don’t forget to include the time invested in dealing with her shit, the house shit, yard shit, car shit, et al.

Yes, there’s more to life than sex. WAY more, and it’s amazing how sex is all we want until we get it, but once you get it regularly, whatever that looks like for you, it frees you up to do everything else you want in life.

I’m rambling...but that’s what I’ve been up to the last 3 months.

I’m glad you’re doing well. I read your shit, always. Mandy sounds cool. Fuck her good. Don’t get oneitis, and move on when it’s time. I’m learning that women are truly accessories to our life. It’s when they become truly important to us that all the bad shit starts to happen.

I don’t know... a stable of 2-4 ponies ready to ride at any time with a lead pony to reign them in does sound tempting....Remind me how bad an idea that is...

[–]weakandsensitive1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

It’s when they become truly important to us that all the bad shit starts to happen.

I wonder if it isn't better to view them as sidekicks. Nice to have around, add some value, but if you had to go it alone, no fucking problemo. Maybe you have different sidekicks for different reasons/occasions.

[–]Bulk_king113 points4 points  (2 children) | Copy

Wow. Thank you for not only taking the time to write that. But breaking it the fuck down. That hit home so hard. And I am ordering that book immediately seriously. Thank you. I’m so emotionally fucked. I need to start meditating again and reading. I feel my addictive personally has a lot to do with this. Time to get to work.

[–]matrixtospartanatLVRed Beret0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Don’t overanalyze why. You can be the engineer or the mechanic on the vehicle of your life.

The engineer sits around the office and theorizes about why the harmonic balancer failed and how to redesign a better one for the next time.

The mechanic looks at it, replaces it, and gets the car running smooth again.

Be the mechanic right now. Find the broken shit, fix your shit, and move on. Enjoy the ride.

I saw your PM.

I’ll be in touch.

[–]WolfofAllStreetz0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Are you a wizard

[–]bowhunter63 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

This is the fucking answer right here, OP.

[–]z2a1-91 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Dogs bark. Babies cry. Women betaize.

Too awesome, I'm stealing this!

[–]SBIIIRed Fucking Commando1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

“The Unchained Man,” by Caleb Jones

Been looking for a good read. Just bought this. Thanks.

[–]matrixtospartanatLVRed Beret1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

Fair warning, it’s going to challenge every traditional paradigm you have.

Read it with an OPEN mind.

[–]SBIIIRed Fucking Commando1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I had a brief skim through it yesterday and cherry picked a couple of chapters last night. Excellent first impression - will get stuck into it over the weekend.

[–]SBIIIRed Fucking Commando1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Really got to come back and thank you for this book recommendation. It's fucking excellent. I'm about halfway through it at the minute and it's really speaking to me. I'm not entirely onboard with his viewpoint on everything and have a feeling that he is manipulating a lot of the stuff on OBW to suit his own personal opinions and life choices, but I'm also not entirely disbelieving of it either. It's something I need to think about indepth a bit more and plan to re-read the book once I have finished and make up my mind on it then.

The chapters on Mission, Code and - for me, in particular - Time Management are superb. Worthy of being in the sidebar, imo.

[–]justpickanyusernameRed Beret17 points18 points  (4 children) | Copy

I think you are getting all turned around in your head about what the red pill is and what it means to your life. Red pill is a sexual strategy. It has been proven time and time again to be 100% correct. I don’t argue against or refute any of the core teachings. However, your own choices make up your own life strategy. From a pure maximizing your sexual options standpoint? Yes, an LTR would be unwise. It is limiting your choices. So, from a straight up RP perspective it is frowned upon because it doesn’t maximize your sexual options. Remember, it is a sexual strategy for fucking and an LTR puts you in a strategic disadvantage. But, can you only win from the high ground? Not necessarily. It will just be harder when at a strategic disadvantage.

From a what do I want out of life perspective? That is something you will have to decide. Will it limit your sexual options? Quite possibly it will. You mention that you want kids and you feel you have vetted well and found a good first officer. Cool. I highly recommend kids. Will it limit your sexual options? More than likely it will impact it to some degree. Things may get harder (welcome to hard mode). However, there are things I have experienced and learned as a father that I would have never have encountered had I not had children. How much that limits your availability to sex and what you are cool with is up to you. This is where you take your RP knowledge and make a choice.

I guess my point is, my eyes too are forever changed by what I have seen when I took the red pill. However, I still continue to stay married despite the fact that from a pure sexual strategy standpoint it is hindering my availability to sex to a certain degree. I too have choices. I could cheat, spin plates, divorce or whatever. All, from a pure sexual strategy standpoint, those would increase my availability to sex. I make no illusions to myself about what this means to my sexual options and I use RP as a toolkit to help navigate life. The longer I have run this I have found that sex is very important to me, but so are a lot of other things.

So, make your own choice. Still wanting more sex? Then make your choice and don’t limit your options by making a poor strategic decision. Do you want kids? Know the trade offs and make a choice.

[–]chomponthebit4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Bravo. Mature, honest, concise. I’m happy to share these anonymous fellowships with gents like you on Reddit

[–]Reach180Red Beret2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

It has been proven time and time again to be 100% correct.

Meh...a lot of it is tautological. It's a useful lens to see the world, but it seems 100% correct because it can't be incorrect.

[–]justpickanyusernameRed Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

It's a useful lens to see the world

I think you may have said it, but RP isn't like a railroad track that takes you to a specific destination. It more like training wheels and you decide where you want to go once you know how to ride. It was a good analogy. Saying that RP theory is 100% correct is obviously giving RP a little too much credit. But, it has proven useful.

[–]amalgamator1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Exactly - Marriage and Fatherhood is a growth machine. It will put you through the ringer but you will grow and it’s rewarding. It’s not all sunshine and rainbows, but I would do it again.

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red13 points14 points  (3 children) | Copy

To improve your grip I recommend heavy shrugs, farmers walks and chalk up.

[–]MrChad_ThundercockBig Red Machine1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

The answer to all insecurities.

[–]needz0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Climbing will give you grip and forearms

[–]helaughsinhidden0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

That's awesome! LOL

When my wife starts to get in my head, I "shrug it off" too.

[–]Redpillbrigade1710 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy

Ha ha ha ha. Sounds very familiar. Your problem is that you are trying to fit a round peg in a square hole. You are or sound like a high-value alpha male. You are wired to have sex with a lot of women and you enjoy it. Nothing wrong with that. The problem is when you’re trying to fit a societal model on yourself and this condition you put up on yourself of being monogamous. Or being what are you calling in your head a “ family man.”

Meanwhile she is doing everything she can to secure you - she has a lock on your balls and dick and she knows it. Classic stuff.

Then she starts weaponizing the pussy, knowing that she is your only release, and of course you start suffering.

So either give up your expectation of getting sex anytime you want, and deal with the associated drama that sounds like is about to start between the two of you. Or give up the expectation that you will be monogamous. Ideally you thread the needle well, you communicate this to her, she is going to stick around, and you will therefore be able to have a source of permanent dread. As opposed to an implied one.

All this other stuff around how beautiful your relationship is one big distraction from your mission. Also you pay way too much attention to what she says, all her love words. Frankly you sound immature to start a family. You do not seem ready, you seem classic alpha young stud who is about to become castrated by a hypergamous woman.

[–]simbarlionRed Beret3 points4 points  (3 children) | Copy

Neediness, or oneitis comes from your fear you will lose her. But your fear is coming from something else.

What are you afraid of?

[–]qwertyuiop1112223 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

What are you afraid of?

Bats. It is time my enemies shared my fear.

[–]Bulk_king111 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

I’m afraid of ending up like everyone else I see in relationships. Not having sex. Dealing with their wives. And settling.

[–]simbarlionRed Beret4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Excellent. Read up on the post that defines the stoic mindset.

And question the impact of the gear on your levels of anxiety.

[–]RedPillCoach2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Ahh, to be in love limerence again.

I need to withdrawal attention

I can’t even go to the store without her blowing me in the car

What are you doing Brah? Why are you deliberately withdrawing attention when sex is on demand?

Have a nice ride. Limerence lasts 12-18 months. Then...

I legit feel like...

Nobody cares how FEEEEEELLLL- and you need to care less how you feel.

Being in Twue Wuv makes all men weak. Enjoy it and stop freaking out. Should you cheat to prove you can? I have heard dumber things said today but I accidently turned on MSNBC earlier.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

"Suffering arises from trying to control what is uncontrollable, or from neglecting what is within our power" - Epictetus

I see both sides of that coin in play in the above post.

[–]RPWolfAlpha_as_Wolf_2.02 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I’m constantly Trying to keep things perfect.

Stop it.

I did this for years and you know what, the harder you try the worse things get or at least the harder you try the bigger the impact to your ego when shit goes south. It's a self-fulfilling prophecy. The biggest thing that helped me the most was the day I realized I can't control anything other than myself and my emotions.

[–]SorcererKingMod / Red Beret3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Ok dude, here it is: she's already gone, because she wasn't yours, it was just your turn. Now that you know that, what will you do with her in the time you have left? Will you get weird and mate-guard and worry, or will you have a great time, keep your mission in the center of your frame, and enjoy her on your mutual terms?

P.S. - next time you're balls deep and she tries to tell you you'll be late, try saying, "LOL".

[–]MrChad_ThundercockBig Red Machine10 points11 points  (6 children) | Copy

“On paper I’m the fucking prize.“

Indeed. But in real life, you’re a faggot.

[–]Cloudy_Pirate8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy


Deep down, you know you aren’t the prize. You are running a great game and checked off all the boxes.

But you know that it’s not real. You are afraid that either the game or another player is going to take it all away from you because you don’t really deserve it.

And you are afraid to lose it because you need the sex to validate you as a man.

Kill your ego. Kill your need for validation.

[–]Bulk_king112 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy

I thought I was in real life till all this stuff came out of no where. I think it’s because I used to work around women. Sleep around. Cheat. And I was on the other end. Doing horrible sick to everyone’s girlfriends when they weren’t around. I seen how easy it was. So that horrified me a bit being on the other end and actually trying not to be a piece of shit boyfriend.

Thanks for the advice

[–]MrChad_ThundercockBig Red Machine9 points10 points  (1 child) | Copy

Sound like a little bitch with all this victim puke.. Tomorrow, after your period is over, reread this post again. Hopefully you see how faggot this post is.

Just don’t turn into a little submissive beta with her. Mix it up. Keep her chasing you.

You know the rules, just implement them. Stop being a keyboard jockey with all the theory and practice this in realz life.

[–]Bulk_king112 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

What I needed to hear. Thanks

[–]NaAF12242 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

You’re also deriving way too much of your self esteem and self worth from the validation you get/got from the sex and attention from women. Yes, women cheat all the time, but why do you care? So she cheats on you, so the fuck what? You’re good on your own and you’ll find a replacement in 45 seconds. She can enhance your life, she shouldn’t be an irreplaceable part of it to the point you’re THIS worried about fucking it up. You’re you, it’s hers to fuck up, if she doesn’t think you’re worth being faithful to then whatever, on to the next. Not to say you shouldn’t be the best version of yourself, but you shouldn’t be trying to better yourself around this idea of what’s going to make this one chick stick around and be faithful.

[–]z2a1-91 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

The truth LMAO!

[–]weakandsensitive2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

didn't we go through this like 7 months ago?

[–]SorcererKingMod / Red Beret3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

7 months ago?

No, like last week. Starky 2.0 here.

Edit: notice all the same markers. Addiction. Gear. Anxiety. Obsessive over-compensation. A new archetype is emerging, that of the next-level Rambo. We should keep watching.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

You can't enjoy things if

A) you prevent yourself from moderately enjoying them and

B) are too fearful about the enjoyment ending.

Just letting yourself love a woman does not mean oneitis.

One of the best parts of a new relationship is the infatuation phase. Your chemicals and neurotransmitters released during the initial bonding phase are intense and can bring a lot of joy to your life.

It's a disservice to yourself not to enjoy it for at least a little bit.

The thrill of a bungie jump is in the fall and bounce. But you can't enjoy yourself if you don't jump. RP is always there. It's the guy who checks the line first, and cranks you back in.

Fucking get the natural high on it. So long as you moderate and don't become an addict... your'e fine. And even if you do. Again...there's a structure for it.

And on the flipside...I think you develop oneitis more if you keep checking yourself because you're so afraid of fucking up with a girl. That takes a lot of commitment and time just in self-police. Relax... then deal.

Nothing will ever go perfect always. And you will fuck up from time to time. It's fine. Just always have your toolset ready. That's reality. That's life. That will build your personal story and it allows you to learn.

And in this rare instance I'd say ... give less fucks about giving less fucks.

[–]BobbyPeruRed Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Spinning plates and being in an LTR are 2 very different things.

There’s a reason why they call MRP “hard mode...”. Because you find out how much of a faggot you really are until you work at it enough to killl the ONEitis, lack of frame, and insecurity.

[–]hack3geRed Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Have you had your E2 checked lately? You sound likely your shits out of whack.

[–]Big_Daddy_PDX0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Surprisingly, if you want to build a relationship with an actual high value, nice girl, you need to. It fuck other woman and you actually need to not be a self-centered cock. What you do need to do if you want a high value woman in a relationship is pretend like you need to do things that invest you into the relationship AS LONG AS IT DON’T MAKE YOU COMPROMISE YOURSELF.

[–]ManguZa0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Working at a bar or not if she want another guy she can have it.

Don't try to make things perfect, don't worry about being too much a beta, the only thing you have to do is accepting that she'll direspect you sometimes and that you need to put her in place when she does.
If she stop you during sex (disrepect) it's an opportunity to show her your alpha value and thus preserve the relationship, *call her on her behaviour* this is how you'll make things perfect for you and her.

[–]freshona0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

So, on average, how much weed you smoking per week? Or whatever it is you use to fuck up your head.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

I legit feel like a pussy inside and idk where the fuck it came from or what steps to take to get rid of it.

The good news is, unlike me, you were/are a top alpha based on what you've said. The bad news is, you're falling into the mindset that led many down the path to giving their LTR/wife their balls to carry around in her purse. You have to find a way to tell yourself to STFU when you start thinking these things. Just yell at that voice in your head - don't let it creep into a repetitive thought pattern. This post helped me... should help you.

Live in the moment, enjoy life. If she cheats - so what? If she turns to shit - so what? You should know you are the prize based on your history - just need to regain that mindset.

[–]Bulk_king110 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

My issue is I feel like if I tell myself to shut up. I may overlook important shit. Or chances for improving

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You're over complicating this. This thought process is what you have to end. You're thinking negatively ("may overlook shit") or overthinking ("chances to improve").

Have you read The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck? It talks about this type of thought process at length.

If there's one thing I've learned thus far that has helped is if I stop thinking and worrying about my behaviors or her behaviors, I enjoy life much much more. So live life, if you feel uncomfortable or don't want to do something - then don't do it. Don't analyze whether you should or shouldn't based on someone or something else's judgement system - only your own.

[–]John92490 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Sounds like the tren is getting to you.

[–]eddielovett0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

Need to get off the gear. Your hormones and brain chemistry are out of wack. Go natural and watch your mind and emotions get under control.

Do you meditate? Do you run?

Reading your post gave me the sense that your mind is constantly racing.

You focus too much on the physical and appearances. Instead spend some time relating to the spirit world. Take some mushrooms. You’ll probably have a bad trip and realize you’ve been a piece of shit and deserve bad things to happen to you. That’s probably where your anxiety stems from.

Your lifestyle and sensibilities are not a great fit for a long term relationship, stability, raising a family etc.

Right now who you are and your mentality is much better suited to doing dirty things with other peoples girlfriends. If you want that to change you need to change yourself and the way you think. Consider moving or traveling abroad for a while.

You say you set boundaries which is great but you’re not accustomed to LTR game. You can set more boundaries and tell her what to do. If her working at a bar bothers you so much tell her to quit and if she’s as submissive and obsessed with you as you say she will do it without question. Provide for her while she finds a new job or employ her yourself. Get shit done.

Red pill is a great mindset for fucking a lot of girls not perfect for being a family man. You’re scared of being beta but if you want an LTR and a family THAT IS BETA. And there’s no way around it. Wanting to commit to one woman is beta.

[–]phatphreak6660 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

A lot of ego in this comment. Not cool to suggest a shroom experience and then NLP the guy into a bad trip. Check your ego hoss.

[–]eddielovett0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Having a bad trip can often lead to constructive realizations about oneself.

[–]phatphreak6660 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

yes sir i agree; however objective perception can be achieved without having a "bad" or challenging trip. frankly, it is none of my business but i prefer to plant positive seeds re: entheogens. thank you for your consideration.

[–]mindplaybyneo0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Im not gonna tell you to stop, cause I hate when I have moments like this and my therapist tells me to stop. Its like telling an angry person to not be angry.

At this point you just gotta make a mantra and remind yourself, you are Ok being alone. You are comfortable in your skin. Regardless if she leave or stay.

[–]JameisBong0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You legit seem worried, you can't out alpha every man on the planet. Enjoy your time with this one, if it all goes to shit, just start over. Always be your own mental point of origin.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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