It's been a while since my last post. Chugging along my red pill journey, but I hit some bumps that I'm not sure if I'm handling optimally, so I'll keep this as brief as I can and looking for you guys to kick my ass and help me be better.
I grew my business quite a bit over the last year and a half. Things are up trending and we've brought on some additional people and won some new contracts (for those of you that don't know, I have owned my own construction company for the last 18 years). I needed some access to low cost capital, so I took money out on my home equity line (HELOC) and some cash I have saved over the past few years, and put it in the business to fund some rapid growth. I've been doing stuff like this my entire career and any money I've invested in my business produces profits and nice returns. This model has been tried and true for me, so it's normal practice for me when necessary.
I owned my house before I married my wife and it's protected (to the best they can) in a prenup (second marriage, found the red pill shortly after) and it's solely in my name still to this day. She came home from work one day pissed as hell a couple weeks ago. Told me "we have to talk after the kids go to bed." She approaches me after the kids go to bed and confronts me about the HELOC. I shrugged it off and said, "yeah, I got $40,000 out of my HELOC earlier this year." Her rage grew as I blew her off, and she ranted harder about how I'm a liar by omission and how I can't be trusted. I started to DEER but quickly caught myself, then ended it quickly, but saying "you know what, I did it, and I understand that you're upset... if you would like to know when I decide to do something similar in the future, I can let you know." She fired back, "well, what if I'm against it, I guess you'll do it anyway!" I said, "yep, absolutely will, but I'll tell you... I got nothing to hide." She got enraged even more and gave me the silent treatment for a few days. I went about my business and didn't give a shit. A few days, she draws back in and is all lovey doevy and fucks my brains out the following weekend.
Last week, she goes to see her therapist, and comes home mad again and opens the "me being a liar and fiancial cheat again." I tell her, "I'm not doing this, we discussed this already." She gets mad again and says how she is offended and this is major deal for her and this issue is not settled. Said she wants a say in and some changes in how the fiances are run. I said, "sure, your advise, counsel, and opinions are always welcome, but I'll make any final decisions." She got enraged and shit stormed for two days. I went out last Friday night for dinner by myself and came home. She is acting like a bitch, so I DNGAF and don't engage. About an hour later, I put on shoes and tell her I'm going back out... this is where I'm going and I'll be back in couple hours. You are welcome to come or you can stay. She pouts, gets dressed and we went out. I had fun, while she pouted at first, but then came around. The rest of the weekend was spent having fun and full of mind blowing sex.
Tonight, I took my daughter to her softball game (I coach) and took her out to eat after. My wife had the other kids (my son and her son) and took them to eat. She also dropped her daughter (my step daughter) off at a school function and had to return at 830 to get her. She texted me about 8:10 and asked me if we were done with the game and when I'd be home. I told her, I was getting dinner with my daughter and that we just finished up and were heading home. She left to get her daughter at the school function and took the boys (they are 9 and 7 and can't be left alone). I arrived home and she was still out. She got home about 8:50 and was shit storming about how it's so late and how I'm a selfish inconsiderate asshole for not thinking to come home earlier so the bedtime routine wasn't interrupted (normal bedtime routine starts at 8 pm). She ranted about how it's late, and she has to get up early and the kids will be difficult and blah blah blah. I kind of chuckled at her and told her while shrugging and said, "not a mind reader... if you wanted or needed help, you should have asked.... I would have been happy to help if I'd been available." She says, "I shouldn't have to ask... blah blah, something about common sense, blah blah.."
I told her, "I'm not playing this game, and I don't appreciate the attitide." She shit stormed some more, so I shrugged and went down stairs to watch tv. She followed me downstairs and brought up the HELOC again and how I'm a huge asshole.
I said, "done discussing that issue, we talked about it and I'm done with this silly discussion tonight." She said, "well, I'm still mad and I'm still not ok with what you did with the HELOC." I said, "ok, I understand you're upset", and walked in the other room. She shitstormed some more and ran back upstairs.
Am I being too much of a dick and insensitive about the HELOC issue and the cash I put in my business? (It was cash I had saved, and would have had anyway with or without her because although she makes a great living, I make 5 times what she does). I really don't care, but maybe she's comfort testing?
Is there something I'm doing that is not consistent with red pill philosophy that I don't see?
All comments and takes are welcome.