666,886 posts

Wife being nice during separation?

by aita2899 | September 04, 2019 | askMRP

22 upvotes

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Guys, I’m slowly trying to unfuck myself. My wife and I are separated and living in the same house. As some of you that have followed my posts know, I caught her cheating and called her out on it. She swung branches and said ILYBINILWY. I had already started to follow a loose version of the map on my own.

Since then I’ve read NMMNG,IFGWISN,MMSLP and a.m. half way through the rational male.

I’ve been trying to be a good dad and spends tons of time with the kids while I am living in the same house with them, and the divorce splitting of assets and finances have been done on our own without any fighting.

I’ve been going out doing my own thing and vaguely answering or changing the subject when she recently started to care where I’m going or where I have been.

I’ve been flirting with her and doing things like a&a when she shit tests and flirting with her daily. I have refused to text her unless it’s about logistics, otherwise I pick the phone up to talk to her about whatever.

Her long distance boy friend is coming into town the weekend and she is going to spend it with him obviously. She says she loves him yadda yadda. I just smile and change the subject. I don’t show her ever that it bothers me now.

Some weird things and I’m trying to make sure my interpretation is correct. She is being extremely nice and supportive. Texting me nice things saying good morning have a good day at work etc, she even tried to kiss me when I was locking eyes with her while cooking. I moved and said I’m not that easy anymore with a smile on my face and kept cooking.

Another thing that happened is she thinks I went on a date(which I did) and she kept asking me about her and what she looked like. I kept deflecting and said dinner was nice, or I’ll say I don’t kiss and tell with a smile on my face.

Is she being nice because I’m getting back to how I used to be and she is slowly getting attracted to me again, or is she just being nice to cover up what is really going on with our relationship?

I’m in the same boat if she leaves or stays, so at this point I just keep reading, working out and slaying it as a dad.

Update:hmm

This should be fun. Did I handle it wrong?


Post Information
Title Wife being nice during separation?
Author aita2899
Upvotes 22
Comments 92
Date 04 September 2019 11:12 AM UTC (10 months ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/251918
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/czjeio/wife_being_nice_during_separation/
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  • map
  • a&a
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  • cheating
  • shit test
  • 4 more...
Comments

[–]Neoduder97 points98 points  (9 children) | Copy

She's keeping a hold of her branch in case the one she's swinging to breaks.

[–]JudgeDoom6941 points42 points  (0 children) | Copy

She's keeping a hold of her branch in case the one she's swinging to breaks.

u/aita2899 this is Solipsism at it's finest. She's covering all of her bases to maximize her chances for an upgrade, while keeping you orbiting around as a safety net. Chances are Chad will be done with her soon and she'll try to slither back to you.

I’ve been flirting with her and doing things like a&a when she shit tests and flirting with her daily.

Why?!? Why the hell are you wasting your time flirting with her? Go and flirt with someone who hasn't cheated on you yet, you dumbass

[–]aita2899[S] 17 points18 points  (7 children) | Copy

That’s what I was thinking also. I’m glad I’m not wrong on that mindset

[–]Neoduder7 points8 points  (6 children) | Copy

Not saying you're not wrong, I might be wrong too, don't assume anything. But that's what it looks like from what you've wrote.

[–]hack3geRed Beret25 points26 points  (5 children) | Copy

Nope you are not wrong - she is openly auditioning his replacement and keeping him on the hook. He would do best to just stop flirting with her and peace the fuck out.

/u/aita2899 - you should ask yourself why the fuck you want to even be around a woman who is openly stating you aren’t her first choice. Fuck that I’d ghost the fuck out of her and move on otherwise she’s going to suck you back in and you will regret it eventually.

[–]aita2899[S] 16 points17 points  (4 children) | Copy

If I leave the house in my state it counts as abandoning the property and I relinquish claim to it in a divorce

[–]hack3geRed Beret-2 points-1 points  (3 children) | Copy

Did you file for divorce yet? What the fuck are you waiting for?

[–]aita2899[S] 15 points16 points  (2 children) | Copy

Yep it’s all in motion

[–]RStonePT10 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy

Then stop playing nostradumbass with your wifes inner thoughts and work

[–]johneyapocalypseThe one that says "Bad Motherfucker"4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

While the advice you've received above is worth considering, you should also note that she may simply (1) "love you" while at the same time (2) look forward to being rid of you.

My guess is that she feels some guilt, and she may genuinely want to see you do well - she just doesn't want to be there by your side while it happens.

I do not think she's "holding onto you in case her branch swing fails."

Instead, I think she likely feels bad, and perhaps even feels sorry for you.

[–]MrChad_ThundercockBig Red Machine25 points26 points  (4 children) | Copy

“She is being extremely nice and supportive”

Feelz.

She’s fucking another dude, but doesn’t want to seem like a cheating slut in front of her family and friends.. trying to keep you happy so you don’t tell the truth.

[–]aita2899[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy

I thought about this also

[–]red-iron-man10 points11 points  (2 children) | Copy

This. If she's high on her little dopamine fix she's going to seem like she's on cloud 9 and it will have nothing to do with OP.

OP is she eating normally?

[–]aita2899[S] 3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

She eats more and sleeps less and is pretty messy to be honest

[–]red-iron-man7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

Most women excited to fuck Chad would be both eating less and sleeping less because of the higher dopamine plus serotonin crash. No girl get's ready for Chad by eating more...

[–]helaughsinhidden28 points29 points  (1 child) | Copy

ILYBINILWY

Explained for men under 30:

I am bored of this video game, so I am gonna put it on PAUSE or find a safe place to camp while I look through all the other games in my library. I won't actually turn it all the way off or take it out, just want to see if something else looks better to play, but if nothing else looks better I'll just pick up where I left off because it's just a game and I can play it however and whenever I want to and it will be there when I want it.

[–]WesternhagenWinner2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

"Chad recently gave me tingles and it reminded me how boring you are."

[–]BluepillProfessorMod / Red Beret25 points26 points  (1 child) | Copy

After you finish the rational male, put down all those books and read about game and pua. This marriage was over long before you started with non sequiturs like my 'wife's boyfriend. "

[–]aita2899[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

Lol thanks. I figured that was the next step

[–]RStonePT19 points20 points  (2 children) | Copy

You're situationally lucky.

She's on a drug rush with a new beaux. you're getting the spillover from her good feelings, which you mistake as good feelings about you. This is the time for an amicable divorce, because when chad pumps and dumps her (and they usually do) it then turns into vindictive behaviour towards you.

Those questions about you going out and fucking people is because she's doing it, and assumes you are too, and she is attempting to control your behaviour. In her mind, she's the best you can do and she wants to leave you crying in a puddle on the floor

I’m in the same boat if she leaves or stays, so at this point I just keep reading, working out and slaying it as a dad.

be situationally aware, you're not being stoic, you're being a putz

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy

In her mind, she's the best you can do and she wants to leave you crying in a puddle on the floor

This 100x

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yep OP is being played for a fool, and he thinks he’s the one ok top here. He probably wrote this while she’s on all four getting cream filled

[–]RedPill-BlackLotusRed Beret51 points52 points  (3 children) | Copy

She needs to feel like she's a good person. This is all about her own internal mental management. This has nothing to do with you and everything to do with the narsasistic mental makeup of the female mind.

As you were sir, you are killing it.

Let's get some abbs on you. This is your year.

Forget about this cunt.

[–][deleted] 14 points15 points  (0 children) | Copy

Well put

[–]NMMNG_12 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I wish I could upvote this twice.

[–]GoodWillFunky0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

G O S P E L. Amen.

[–]FereallyRedHard Core Red29 points30 points  (2 children) | Copy

You're divorcing but still living in the same house and playing some fucked up version of make believe normiedom.

Stop interacting socially.

You have to physically separate.

This is codependency. Halfassing it.

[–]itiswr1ttenRed Beret4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

[–]FereallyRedHard Core Red6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

Make it so uncomfortable wife moves out.

These guys are still playing make believe.

[–]tspitsatgp11 points12 points  (0 children) | Copy

Let her go bro. The sooner you accept it’s over, and actually separate properly, the sooner you can move on.

Also, your post is weird, she’s your STBXW, not your friend, stop talking with her about your flaming dates and her bloody boyfriend.

[–]SBIIIRed Fucking Commando16 points17 points  (2 children) | Copy

Is she being nice because I’m getting back to how I used to be and she is slowly getting attracted to me again, or is she just being nice to cover up what is really going on with our relationship?

Who gives a fuck? She's fucking another dude and your marriage is over. If you make the mistake of taking her back, she will never respect you. No woman can respect a knowing cuck.

Forget about any hope of drawing her back in by being attractive. It was just your turn and now your turn is up. Read these and prepare for your divorce;

https://www.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/79n1mz/and_so_my_journey_must_begin/dp3mr2o/

https://www.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/9j5cus/better_beta_divorce_strategy/

http://classics.mit.edu/Tzu/artwar.html

[–][deleted] 11 points12 points  (1 child) | Copy

Yep, OP is a friend zone character at this point. She wants to string him along to feel safe that she has a back up, and she also wants to test him to see if he genuinely doesn’t care... which I think she’s able to see OP secretly does care too... knowing this brings her great comfort as she can gamble the relationship for an upgrade with out any actual risk as OP will likely take her back if she needs to be taken back

[–]SBIIIRed Fucking Commando8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

Hypergamy at it's finest.

[–]Bedtimeshine8 points9 points  (3 children) | Copy

You need to push for separate living. Have you filed and had her served yet? If not, facepalm dude. Stop flirting and start with the 180. https://beingabeautifulmess.wordpress.com/the-180/

She’s literally going to be fucking some dude this weekend and your worked about flirting? Smh. Stop flirting. Tell her nothing you do is any of her concern anymore. You wanna focus on coparenting and splitting amicably. And tell her you hope her and her boyfriend have a discussion about him moving there and them two getting a place together because you’d like to move on. Stop running game and drop the hammer on this shit. Jesus dude.

[–]Tbonesupreme5 points6 points  (2 children) | Copy

Separate living usually destroys your custody case. Most of the time, you CAN'T leave.

[–]Bedtimeshine5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy

I would be encouraging her to leave. To go be with him.

[–]friendandadvisor2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

This, or making arrangements for her to buy his share of the house.

[–]UnPussified7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

"Keep your friends close, keep your enemies closer"

You're the now enemy.

Look, you're shutting down her boner party early, she'd LOVE to keep it going.

You're being manipulated.

Why WOULDN'T she be nice?

She's got you cooking dinner so she can relax, or go out with gf's & w/a full belly to search for yet another Chad to blow, just in case the LDR falls through.

Don't be surprised if she loses this phony "nice & flirty" composure when the reality of divorce finally sets in -That's when you'll finally see what's stirring under all the superficial niceness.

BTW, "Being extremely nice" is ripping your clothes off & blowing you, then riding you, then a long back massage afterwards.

Good morning text messages & a kiss while you're making dinner is conciliatory, also doubles as the Special Ed consolation prize designed to prevent crying for coming in last place.

Try not get the two mixed up.

[–]WorkWorkZubZub6 points7 points  (2 children) | Copy

You've just turned into a beta orbiter.

[–]gameoflibidos5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

This exactly. She demoted you from Husband to back up beta orbiter. GTFO of that house as soon as possible and do not communicate with her except for children logistics. Nothing else ever.

[–]testy680 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Bingo!

[–][deleted] 12 points13 points  (0 children) | Copy

It's over and your the backup. Get your care plan done and the divorce finalized before it's to late.

[–]pirisca5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

I caught her cheating and called her out on it.

I’ve been flirting with her and doing things like a&a when she shit tests and flirting with her daily.

What?

[–]RicoDunne5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

She has an long-distance boyfriend... well that won't end well for her, so she wants you as a back up.

As far as asking you about your dates, she is tyring to gauge how much sex you have had to make her feel better, "he did it, so I'm doing it to mentality". Also you are in the process of being friend-zoned openly, so you are her girlfriend now and she wants to gossip about your dates. Don't gossip with her, as it will only give her stuff to use against you with your family/courts etc, should she turn evil and try to debase you to outsider to save herself.

[–]JamesSkepp4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

I’m in the same boat if she leaves or stays

You're not.

She already left you, despite keeping contact. You can change, you can become top alpha, she can and probably will crawl back in the future but the thing is, she cheated on you and your current behaviour with her is nothing more than rewarding her for being a cheater. Things will never be the same as they were when you first met, stop indulging in this BP delusion b/c you're going for Plowhorse 2.0 option.

Read Archwinger: Don't communicate post.

Cut contact to the absolute minim you need to function. Zero flirting, zero small talk. GFTOW, don't brag about it, don't seek revenge, don't seek peaceful resolution, don't seek closure, don't give one. Cut contact, get a divorce and move on.

[–]1kdawg15 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Don't fall for it......just keep practicing your frame with her and perfect it for when you land a much better woman....or a few..

[–]Big_Daddy_PDX5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

You sound weak for even giving a shit. Just focus on Nexting her and making sure you are properly strategizing your exit. Otherwise you could sound like a beta cuckold faggot for caring about what she’s doing.

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red12 points13 points  (12 children) | Copy

What does it sound like hearing your wife fuck another man thru the walls?

[–]aita2899[S] -5 points-4 points  (11 children) | Copy

It doesn’t because we don’t allow people over the house :p

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red13 points14 points  (9 children) | Copy

Every single affair I have had, I have fucked her in the marital bed and home.

She doesn’t even want to be able to smell you in the house.

So she brings me there to mask your disgust.

I guarantee it.

[–]aita2899[S] -2 points-1 points  (8 children) | Copy

Yes even though he lives 1200 miles away and someone is always home along with cameras all over the perimeter lol

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red10 points11 points  (7 children) | Copy

DEER all you want.

I am not the one who’s woman is fucking another ma(e)n.

Cause she is only fucking him. Right? Cause she promised there is only one other guy she is fucking. Right?

Just don’t forget to lick his load out of her before you stick your dick in next time she offers duty sex.

If she will allow it.

Faggot.

[–]InChargeManRed Beret9 points10 points  (2 children) | Copy

Red, I thought we talked about this, you need to get your tren levels adjusted again.

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Probably. Been off the sauce for 6 weeks now.

[–]InChargeManRed Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

:)

[–]Luck-670 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

“While you’re there”

[–]RPWolfAlpha_as_Wolf_2.03 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Do not fall into the trap of her being your bounce back chick. It happens a lot because you are comfortable and it's accessible. She's keeping you on the hook while seeing if her new Mr. Right pans out. Go out and get laid.

[–]Tbonesupreme5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy

You're in the same boat if she leaves or stays????

It's still her choice?

Great job only texting for logistics - but then you call her for all the other stuff? You're going through a divorce - what other stuff is there? If it ain't about the house or the kids, no reason to talk to her.

This whole post is fucking gross.

[–]aita2899[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

House and kids is what I talk to her on the phone about

[–]NrthnMonkey3 points4 points  (3 children) | Copy

She is seeing you through different glasses and realising she has fucked up. All it would take is for you be vulnerable with her and she would lose interest again.

It’s not real. The right woman would love you always, not just a when you aren’t attainable.

The best thing you can do is keep this up, eventually she will crack and beg for you back. That’s when you take the opportunity to leave with all closure. Unfortunately for her it will be a long time before she can forget what she’s done.

[–]Thor-Loki-14 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Branch swinging sure...but why?

Because you've shown you're able to have other options.

That's very attractive and compelling to women.

[–]peaceandlug3 points4 points  (2 children) | Copy

Also, she could be getting ready to ambush your ass with some lawyer, and she's trying to get you off guard. BTW, are you supporting her ass? That would explain her glow! She fucks around, you support her... who wouldn't be the Happy Housewife?

Wtf are you flirting with a whore who betrayed you?

You want her back, I can smell it from here. Knock that shit off, right now! She despises you, otherwise, she wouldn't have made a cuckold of you.

Also, stop the little lovey dovey chats with her.

[–]aita2899[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

She makes more than me and I’m getting the kids. She’s paying me

[–]cdogg751 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Wow. She really did swing that branch. Is she ever in for a shitstorm when you move on with the kids and all she has are memories.

[–]Two_kids_in_a_coat2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

You’re doing good, keep it up but don’t forget she’s actively fucking some other dude. What she says or does is irrelevant. You are moving on.

[–]simbarlionRed Beret4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

being nice

She feels bad.

Get it done.

[–]peaceandlug2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

She feels bad

Sorry, brother-you made a mistake and posted in r/ askmrp instead of r/ stand-up comedy.

[–]Redpillbrigade174 points5 points  (6 children) | Copy

Don’t overthink it. This is actually a good test for you. Imagine being with an ex girlfriend, in a college roommate type situation. You guys are obviously free to pursue other interests, but there might be something between the two of you. No strings attached. Who knows, one of these days she may have an extra glass of wine, put some lingerie on and pay you a visit after midnight. What will you do then?

Answer: whatever you feel like it. You have a busy hard day ahead, and you really need to sleep, you’ve been getting laid already and getting laid again tomorrow with some lady? Then maybe polite pass. You are horny, she’s hot and you want to rail her? Then have at it, face and pillow and all. Give it to her like it’s the last time. Give it to her like it’s her last time.

Tomorrow you will be the same, go back to work, focus on who you really want to be. All relationship talk and thinking is female land. You have more important things to do. Her job is of course to distract you and entertain you. Whether it’s your soon to be ex wife, or some other woman.

[–]SBIIIRed Fucking Commando12 points13 points  (2 children) | Copy

one of these days she may have an extra glass of wine, put some lingerie on and pay you a visit after midnight. What will you do then?

Go down on her and suck Chad's leftover semen out of her ass.

[–]WolfofAllStreetz3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

ding ding

[–]Redpillbrigade17-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah I only go for virgins too. Makes me feel like a man.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

I’d suggest have a wank or fuck another women, don’t let judgement be clouded by anything more than the minimum interaction

[–]Perfectinmyeyes1 point2 points  (5 children) | Copy

Id just be err thankful to the 'gods' for her being nice.

Perhaps she is being nice because some guys can turn 'nasty' like women can when it comes to a break up so shes hoping things stay civil.

Again consider the situation blessed for what it is ...

Just curious so whats your intentions in the matter as far as you flirting with your ex and then going on dates ... (want her back? just fucking with her? or dont care and shes there so flirting?)

[–]aita2899[S] -1 points0 points  (4 children) | Copy

I guess right now it’s just practice to me. I figure if this woman is so in love with this other guy, why is everything I’m doing working? Will it work the same on other women?

[–]hack3geRed Beret5 points6 points  (2 children) | Copy

You are in her frame and have zero frame of your own - she’s gonna continue banging chad until he gets sick of her and then swing back to you and rinse and repeat for the rest of your life. Do yourself a favor get the fuck out and move on with your life.

[–]umizumiz5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy

And OP will believe he "gamed her" back.

[–]hack3geRed Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah and that faggot doesn’t even realize that if I even smiled at her post wall whoring ass she would get wet.

[–]peaceandlug1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Everything you are doing is NOT working, unless your plan is to be a Major Cuck! Perhaps I missed the part about her calling off her plans to go off and fuck this other dude, and her tearful apology and plea for you to forgive her and her swearing to treat you like a king for the remainder of your days, if only you would give her one more chance. Did I miss that?

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

Why are you actively flirting with her? Shes fucking another guy and making more plans to do so. You can be stoic about it and move on with your life but theres no reason to be all cute about it

[–]aita2899[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

BecUse I think it’s funny that she is so deeply in love with this guy, like she has known him for years. Yet she keeps trying to kiss me Etc

[–]SuperCrazy071 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yuck. She’s sucking another guys cock and kissing you.

What the fuck part of you thinks it’s funny?

She probably tells her boyfriend that she kisses you after sucking his dick and they laugh about how you think you’re winning.

[–]ShortGame641 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Need an update here on the convo.

Also, I'm new here, so take it with a grain of salt, but...

It's obvious that OI is sexy, but if you feel the need to do it for validation or feel-goodz then it's the opposite of OI.

I made a comment yesterday that I realized I was congratulating myself on holding frame in a conversation and wondered how much more it would make her want to fuck me... which sounds a lot like depending on an outcome.

Not as gay as not holding frame on my part but may as well be at the end of the day.

[–]screechhaterRed Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Hmn.

Got to be careful to keep Betabux under control if the LD boyfriend is a dud.

What the fuck you care ?

Keep your distance, start plating and move the fuck on. But please if you date a Mandy, please just fuck her and don’t tell us about her

[–]mrpthrowa3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

For fuck sake, some of you guys have frames so fragile, a woman being "nice to you" shatters it enough for you to run to askmrp for help.

[–]crimson_chris0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Fuck. This is all kinds of wrong. You wife is cucking you in front of your damn kids and you thinks it's cute banter?

Find a man in you life and ask them what they think. You are blinded dude.



You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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