CMV: Men go after damaged women more than women go after damaged men

DesignerDebates · 2019-03-04T08:39:44+00:00

I was inclined to leave this post up as it already had a lot of comments, but running through your responses, OP you don’t seem at all open to having your view challenged.

You need to at least present a willingness to having your view changed.

Barely-moral · 2019-03-03T21:14:46+00:00

I think men go after damaged women because they are hot or because they think they would be an easy fuck.

The fact that they are damaged doesn't seem to be the main reason men go after them.

boomcheese44 · 2019-03-03T21:29:09+00:00

Both sexes do it to the same degree, its just that men are more vocal about women choosing "bad guys". When the RP gets called out about choosing narcs and borderlines as partners, they just bury their heads in the sand and say "AWALT"

goatismycopilot · 2019-03-03T21:09:33+00:00

Men go after damaged women if they are hot, then they spend all their time here talking about how much they hate/love BPD chicks. They are not going after damaged plan or ugly chicks, that would be settling.

whichbladeN · 2019-03-03T21:48:03+00:00

Both sexes can have a savior complex.

Men might use trauma of a woman to prey on her need for approval, and women might try to 'fix' men who will likely not respond to it.

RoyalAugur92 · 2019-03-03T21:36:58+00:00

Men go after whatever women they think they have a chance with.

Kralee · 2019-03-03T21:52:17+00:00

Some men want to be Captain Save-a-hoe. They see a hot women above their league and think they can be different than other assholes by being her hero.

They will try to leverage their higher social hierarchical position and support; financial and emotional, over a desperate women to better appeal to her.

This of course won't work since once she raises her spot in the social hierarchy from the "Hero's" support her hypergamy will no longer be met and she will look elsewhere to fulfill it.

I don't know how common it is for men to try it. Generally I think this is a strategy attempted by physically underwhelming men or genuine psychopathic men trying to own a woman.

Some learn that it won't work faster than others, some never learn and blame women for natural selection. It's good advice to never be a Captain save-a-hoe, it won't work. Date someone from your social status.

TheBookOfSeil · 2019-03-03T21:14:37+00:00

Damaged women go after men more than either of the two.

CMV

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big_quality · 2019-03-03T21:28:19+00:00

I think it can go both ways. Without an accurate study with a huge, diverse sample it is impossible to determine whether men or women are more likely to go after damaged partners. Anecdotally, I have seen it both ways and I think it depends more on individual differences rather than sex.

[deleted] · 2019-03-03T23:05:21+00:00

A lot of hot women end up in relationships with abusive, aggressive hot men.

Men don't really seek out damaged women, they seek out women who give them a boner.

Imagine not being able to fuck your GF at 20-40 without viagra because she's so fat she's disgusting.

SeljukCuck · 2019-03-04T00:18:53+00:00

Men go after women more than women go after men lol

SeemedGood · 2019-03-03T21:26:32+00:00

Like in all sexually reproducing animal species, women are the sexual selectors.

Men “go after” whatever women make themselves available, but ultimately women choose to either make themselves available or not. And they make themselves available to the men they find attractive. Men, OTOH, tend to become attracted to those women that are making themselves available to them.

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Modernlaugh · 2019-03-03T21:30:50+00:00

I feel like I see more women bringing the “bad” men on shows like Maury, jerry springer, dr.phil, etc. than the other way around.

tekulvie · 2019-03-03T21:39:10+00:00

Do you think a guy who realizes a woman is damaged and decides to walk away is a good man?

MorochaAmorochaaa · 2019-03-03T21:55:09+00:00

Hello!

In my opinion, if they are hot they will court them temporary, most men if not broken or fragmented will usually look for a cheerful, social and happy go lucky female.

gopher_glitz · 2019-03-03T22:00:58+00:00

Men aren't choosing what women they are going after, they just settle for the best they think they can get.

[deleted] · 2019-03-03T23:04:32+00:00

It probably happens in both directions, but speaking from my own experience I seem to be a fucking magnet for crazy girls for some reason. I don't go and seek them out, but they will either hit on me or at least send very strong IoI's.

Almost every girl who shows interest in me turns out to have some type of diagnosed mental illness. And I do myself, so idk maybe they just have crazydar and they can sense I'm one of them, who knows.

But also I think you're making an unfair assumption in declaring it to be so predatory. Usually if a person (regardless of gender) ends up with crazy or "damaged" partners it's because they're like that themselves rather than being some kind of cold calculating psychopath looking to take advantage of and "own" anyone. It's just good old like attracting like. Occam's razor wins out on that one.

[deleted] · 2019-03-03T23:15:19+00:00

I mean, half the internet be all "muh depression and anxiety". Everyone from Ariana Grande to that Facebook friend you stopped talking to after college.

Everyone's got some baggage in our sick, isolated society. Being a part of an amalgmation of rootless wanderers trained virtually from birth to mindlessly, endlessly consume will do that to a girl (or guy). Any girl, potentially, sooner or later.

So I haven't necessarily been surprised that most of the women I've dated have had some form or another of mental illness, but I've always figured "meh, maybe she'll be sad once in a while" and that's about it.

But this one girl in particular though was like top 5% level of damaged.

She was very open and very up front about the majority (though not all) of the issues she had

Frankly, I didn't fully conprehend what kind of impact being damaged can have.

Lesson learned. Now I'm damaged too.

Cirrrcle of liiiifeee

CatchPhraze · 2019-03-03T23:52:11+00:00

Captain save a ho is real. I think men and women do it in equal messure but for sure women romantize it way more its a fantasy that your love is so pure or your so important you change someone into not only your ideal mate but a better person. It's an ego stroker and it's a bad idea in reality.

mgtownigga · 2019-03-04T00:58:27+00:00

as a professional 'going for damaged women' type of guy, I sort of agree. However, I think the guys that go for damaged women are often damaged themselves, or have few options and all of a sudden there is this pretty girl thats into them, so theyre like welp ill overlook these red flags. Those are teh two common scenarios : most healthy, well adjusted men arent going for damaged women. Ive seen exceptions but it's usually with women that are a slow burn in their crazy, where it takes some time for it truly manifest in full

[deleted] · 2019-03-04T01:15:47+00:00

Damaged women go after damaged men. Damaged men go after damaged women. It's called co-dependency. Terpers who constantly whine about BPD girls have never been normal themselves.

flyinghorse1 · 2019-03-04T02:21:00+00:00

When I was younger I liked troubled women because I liked the openness and the conversations we would have and I thought I could be the one to help them.

carrawayjames · 2019-03-04T02:46:38+00:00

Definitely. Men have way less options than women. Also alot of men are white knights. They have a Superman syndrome I like to call it when they feel they have to save a women. Women may fall for it two but they put up with it for long.

Goodgirl1998 · 2019-03-04T02:57:26+00:00

I think I am a damaged women. Might be a good reason why I have attracted not great men in the past.

abaxeron · 2019-03-04T02:58:06+00:00

Sweden, 1973-2009:

fertility rate:

Male convicted offenders: 1.22

Male non-offenders: 0.74

Ratio: 1.64

Female convicted offenders: 1.42

Female non-offenders: 1.08

Ratio: 1.31

Thus, "bad boys" statistically get 25% reproductive advantage over "bad girls"

Marriages, mean no.:

Male convicted offenders: 0.35

Male non-offenders: 0.26

Ratio: 1.35

Female convicted offenders: 0.42

Female non-offenders: 0.36

Ratio: 1.17

"Bad boy advantage" - 15%

Podophyllotoxin prescription:

MCO: 1.4% / MNO: 1.0% / FCO: 1.3% / FNO: 1.0%.

The only result that sort-of supports OP; I can't call getting an STD an "advantage". But, bad boy... "overperformance" in this department is 7.7%.

Mean no. of reproductive partners:

MCO: 0.67 / MNO: 0.39 / FCO: 0.78 / FNO: 0.55

"Bad boy advantage" - 21%

Oh look, it seems that BBA in this department is higher than in podophyllotoxin one. I.e. not only bad boys get more sex than bad girls (relative to non-bads), they're also less likely to get a partner with an STD (than bad girls; not than non-bads).

Source

Nodoxxintoxin · 2019-03-04T04:07:02+00:00

Women have more to lose imho by choosing a bad guy. Lots happen to guys, please don’t get me wrong. A guy with some crazy, damaged woman can end up with false allegations, zero child custody. Guys figure they can hit and run with the “disinhibited” hot chick and end up with a keyed up car or a nut job who stalks you at work. Even Mc and uMc guys fall prey to the damaged chick, especially if she’s hot.

I don’t really see that many Mc and umc women who go for “real” bad boys. This seems like a function of culture and class. I’ve known women who get involved with players but not straight up crazy or dangerous guys. But when women do go for real bad boys the stakes are high. One punch from some guy can land most women in the hospital, and half of all women murdered are murdered by their partners.

trail22 · 2019-03-04T04:46:22+00:00

Th attractive single people of both sexes get chased. And the good ones et married. Everyone left has flaws. The flaws men have go away with age, the women not so much. So men will chase younger women while women will chase flawed men their own age.

Xemnas81 · 2019-03-03T21:14:43+00:00

There is significantly more dating-specific self-help for women than for men with regards to the modern SMP. The Rules came before The Game. Feminism also helped women forge a sisterhood, picking out the 'pick me girls' who obstructed solidarity. What is RP (or rather MGTOW) but the Brotherhood picking out the 'One Good Man'gina?

MoodyBrizo · 2019-03-03T22:24:59+00:00

Some men go after damaged women if they have a hero complex and want to save a damsel. All women go after men with narcissistic and sociopaths personality traits.

Title	CMV: Men go after damaged women more than women go after damaged men
Author	wokein
Upvotes	20
Comments	103
Date	March 3, 2019 9:06 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/awykwo/cmv_men_go_after_damaged_women_more_than_women_go/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/cmv-men-go-after-damaged-women-more-than-women-go.256939 https://theredarchive.com/post/256939

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