How much attention would you want from your wife?

hammerhaunts · 2018-12-04T07:04:55+00:00

I like conversations, an hour or two of those per day is nice

Barely-moral · 2018-12-04T06:38:49+00:00

It is about priorities.

If my partner doesn't prioritize the relationship over her career/job then every single time there is a conflict between the relationship and any job/career related situation the relationship will be damaged.

Extend that to a few years and the relationship collapses.

Time is a limited resource. Any moment spent on the job/worrying about the job is not spent in the relationship.

Men don't have that problem because women tend to care a lot about status and money. Both of those come with a job/a career so there is no conflict there.

How do I know if I have enough attention? I know that I am the number one priority for my partner. I don't have to compete for her attention against anything.

Is there such thing as too much attention? Not for me. I take everything my partner can give me and I would happily take more.

darudeboysandstorm · 2018-12-04T07:52:33+00:00

Attention is completely over rated, I just want her to be attentive when we are together as I would hope I am to her. When we are apart I would hope our time would be our own and within the parameters of what we set for the relationship I guess?

I do not have a wife have not been married.

Mr_White119811 · 2018-12-04T07:39:56+00:00

Things like having meals together, an hour or two conversation is good, Im an extrovert so I like chatting, If we both have the weekend or a day free, maybe do something together.

All of this without work looming over either of us. You know, at this time in the day when these things happen, work is finished and it will still be there in the morning, so no need to sweat it.

I can leave work and switch off from it during the time it takes me to get home. I know some people cannot do this. But time is the most valuable resource, so I don't want it wasted stressing over things that can't be changed. Ideally, I would like to meet someone who does the same.

Ive done the dating a bar manager who earned less than what I earned and still lived with her parents. I have also done the dating a board executive who had extra zero's on her paycheck compared to mine and owned a 5 bedroom house. All in all, the first was more enjoyable. All the second really had going for her was money and as I have my own job, Im looking for someone I enjoy being around, not someone who just happens to have a lot of money.

alby333 · 2018-12-04T11:26:17+00:00

My so was recently promoted to magement she's constantly on the phone, work WhatsApp, or just plain going into work she's absutely obsessed with making sure work runs how she wants and she's damn good at it.

Our kids are pretty self sufficient and her work is walking distance so homelife isn't impacted too badly. I'm really happy for her she doesn't really do hobbies and I spend a lot of time training for endurance events so it suits me that she's got her own shit going on. We get together she rants about shit at work it's cool because after 14 years what else are we gonna talk about?

She gets stressed on occasion but that's what happens when you care about things. She did make sure to wait till the kids were older though she turned this promotion down for years as it doesnt mesh as well with my hours.

Aaren_Augustine · 2018-12-04T06:43:07+00:00

It's not so much about attention as the fact that career women tend to be stressed out and bitchy.

Whodunnit88 · 2018-12-04T06:52:35+00:00

Enough to know she cares about me. A balance between her smothering me 24 hours a day and her sending me the occasional text every two weeks while she's stuck at work.

_Neon_Shadow_ · 2018-12-04T07:42:51+00:00

What actions do men consider attention?

Any romantic gesture.

How do you know you have enough attention?

When I'm content with my relationship.

Is there such a thing as too much?

Yes. God yes.

Pope_Lucious · 2018-12-04T09:48:33+00:00

“Attention” = Availibility

analt223 · 2018-12-05T03:18:55+00:00

friday or saturday night doing something together, sex 2 or 3x a week, conversations daily for about 30 minutes or so

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Unconfidence · 2018-12-04T16:14:41+00:00

I think it's way too vague of a question to answer with any real effect. I like when my girlfriend pays attention to me. I don't feel like I'm not getting enough attention. I think perhaps the primary disconnect here is that many people use "Attention" as a synonym of "Sex", with regard to relationships.

Bobbyjets · 2018-12-04T16:22:44+00:00

As a man I've always enjoyed any attention from my significant other when we're in person. For me there's nothing better than knowing my girl wants to spend time with me. If we weren't together though a few messages or a call per day would be nice

Flamethrowa21 · 2018-12-04T17:17:04+00:00

More than she's willing to give. Next.

[deleted] · 2018-12-04T23:15:04+00:00

depends on the context and what we happen to be doing at the time.

I want attention when I want it, and I don't want attention when I don't want it.

Million-Suns · 2018-12-05T18:25:52+00:00

I don't want a wife.

But in a LTR, partner better have a career. The last thing I want is us stepping on each other toes 24/7. Cohabiting and seeing her redecorating your place of living is already very intrusive.

Actually the less attention and interactions, the better. Only rule: be faithful.

[deleted] · 2019-01-11T14:27:54+00:00

What actions do men consider attention?

Face-2-face time?

[deleted] · 2018-12-04T12:21:51+00:00

Think of attention as "where someone put their resources".

Her time, patience, love and energy is drained away at her job, leaving a busy bossy hearless tired woman at home. Plus some other attributes.

A house wife will be like a companion the supports him. A working wife will be like a second job where you have one, really annoying client.

How do you know you have enough attention?

Depends on the man. But a good rule of thumb is that he is not avoiding going back home and that he goes home happily.

Is there such a thing as too much?

Yes, someone that transform their shared home into her place and her place alone. Someone that has so much energy that never shuts up or let you rest. Someone that do not even try to support him at home even if they have the means to.

Basically the plot of "how to lose a man in 10 days".

DaphneDK42 · 2018-12-04T08:01:14+00:00

About 30mins a day. Career women are bad because they 1) can't give their attention to children; 2) your freedom is restricted by her career.

Aaren_Augustine · 2018-12-04T08:04:57+00:00

This is real easy.

Career women put all their effort into their job and then try to 'play house' when they get home. If women complain about man children, then career women can't adult properly either.

The problem being they can't say no with their boundaries at work and get exhausted by the end of the day. They come home and have no choice but to say no.

If you can't balance home and work life, you aren't a very competent adult.

Eastuss · 2018-12-04T08:21:52+00:00

I want her to pet me like I'm a dog.

I want her to privilege our house so that I can privilege my job. When the kid is sick I shouldn't be the one compromising my job. Right now I'm taking care of the kid for most of it because my work hours are flexible and hers aren't, but my work hours are flexible because I'm higher status than her and I'm supposed to work for longer and get paid more...

couldbemage · 2018-12-04T11:11:02+00:00

I'm not really one of those guys, but I know the answer:

Two career people leaves no time and energy left for the relationship. Whereas if it's just one career oriented person, the other can be there when needed.

And since men without careers aren't popular, that means you need the non career person to be the woman.

Personally I've experienced it this way: I had two partners, one a stay home mom, the other working the same job I had, at the same company. Career girl I had lunch with once a week, then maybe a single night together. Stay home was there whenever I came home.

RedPill-BlackLotus · 2018-12-04T16:25:31+00:00

Attention? My wife is a little satellite person orbiting me. She helps me with my vision. Her mission in life is being my wife, and the mother to my sons. Everything else past that is secondary. Shes accomplished her mission and now shes the happiest I have ever seen her. She loves it.

Title	How much attention would you want from your wife?
Author	Eartherry
Upvotes	9
Comments	90
Date	December 4, 2018 6:26 AM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/a2y2vw/how_much_attention_would_you_want_from_your_wife/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/how-much-attention-would-you-want-from-your-wife.258736 https://theredarchive.com/post/258736

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