Have you ever had sex with/felt an attraction to a guy who you initially thought was unnattractive?

Eastuss · 2018-07-23T09:56:31+00:00

Not with someone I found explicitly ugly, but a few times a guy who's average or slightly below average has become insanely attractive after I get to talk to him.

Five_Decades · 2018-07-23T13:24:36+00:00

I’ve been with my boyfriend for 5+ years. When I met him the first time, about 1 year before we got together, I thought he was downright ugly. He was overweight, had bad teeth and skin, and was just generally not nice to look at.

I had drunken sex with him one night about 8 months after I met him and, after that, he was hooked. He chased me for a relationship but I wasn’t sure I wanted one with him.

He is a singer and songwriter and he started a band and wrote a song about me. Although he was still overweight and ugly, I started to feel attraction towards him because he was the lead singer in a band. I started to picture myself with the lead singer of a band.

I eventually agreed to a relationship and I was very happy. I only stopped thinking he was ugly about six months into our relationship, when something switched in my head and I all of a sudden thought he was gorgeous and the thought of sex with him made me really horny.

His appearance didn’t actually change and eventually I lost attraction to him. It wasn’t until recently, when he gained success with his band, wrote the most beautiful and romantic song I’ve ever heard about me, lost loads of weight, and started gaining muscle that I felt attracted to him again. He says that I look at him differently now.

Also, other girls started staring at him in the street and I’m like, “he’s mine, bitch”.

The only conclusion I can draw from this is that attraction comes and goes, but if you make an effort to become attractive then the way people perceive you - even those closest to you - will change.

CocaineOnYourClit · 2018-07-23T14:29:27+00:00

Yes, with me current fiance. Mind you I didn't think he was unattractive, he was attractive enough that I agreed to go out with him from his OLD profile. But for the majority of our first date I was largely feeling meh and unimpressed and wasn't planning on meeting him for a second date.

As our first date came to a close he asked for a kiss good night, and at first I was like "nah" because I didn't want to give him the impression that there would be a second date. But he insisted, and I was like "sure". He wasn't terrible and he did pay for dinner, so if the guy wanted a kiss, the least I could do was give him a kiss. After that I couldn't stop thinking about him, I ended up texting with him through the rest of the night even though I was out with friends. And by the end of our second date I was hooked on him like he had a cocaine dick.

flamingoinghome · 2018-07-24T09:42:49+00:00

YUP.

My very first experience of actual "I-want-him-to-touch-me" desire happened this way, when I was 18. I'd had "schoolgirl crush" type attractions, and made out with guys and liked that, but the idea of actually being touched was more frightening than anything. I met a guy under very mundane circumstances who was not at all hot to me--much older, bald, kinda wonky-faced. But we get to talking, and I just...didn't want to stop talking to him...or looking at him...at all. He was incredibly clever, but that wasn't the only thing. The man had *charisma* in a way I've seldom encountered. To this day, it's nigh-impossible for me to desire someone if we don't have good conversational energy.

Willow-girl · 2018-07-23T11:36:38+00:00

When you sleep with a person, you begin to bond with them.

The difference is that a woman in your situation probably wouldn't sleep with a guy she found unattractive, making the growth of attraction less likely.

CocaineOnYourClit · 2018-07-23T12:50:39+00:00

Oxytocin is one helluva drug.

KikiYuyu · 2018-07-23T16:41:23+00:00

This happens to me all the time. Everyone I've ever felt attracted to became better looking to me than they did at first glance.

SpaceWhiskey · 2018-07-23T18:46:27+00:00

Yes. Men have definitely become more attractive to me over time, directly correlated to getting to know them and finding out aspects of their personality that gel with mine.

CocaineOnYourClit · 2018-07-23T12:27:15+00:00

yes.

in college, we had a huge friend group. one of the boys was nerdy like me and i was super into him. but he was fat and awkward and no one wanted him, so obviously i wasn't gonna want him either. for a whole year this poor fellow asked me out and wanted to talk to me and i'd be like "ew, leave me alone" half the time.

eventually he accepted that we'd just be friends, which was fine with me. but upon being frineds with him and spending time with him, i couldn't get over how awesome he was. he seduced me with a date at Whole Foods, where he showed off his smarts on foriegn cheeses. 20 year old me was smitten and that was that. he was my boyfriend. good times.

i think our chemistry >>>> his smv. i just didn't care.

CocaineOnYourClit · 2018-07-23T13:31:35+00:00

First: If a guy told me he was embarrassed to have me around his friends, I would be so pissed.

Who gives a shit if your friends see you with an “ugly” woman
I must be super disgusting if you are ashamed to be SEEN with me.

Second: yes, I have developed attraction to men I initially found unattractive. It happened several times. Men tend to only want women above an 8/10 threshold. Women can like even a 4 if he is seductive enough.

Roberto Benigni doesn’t look exceptionally handsome but this movie made him super sexy. https://youtu.be/Am-uvoQN72E

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darla10 · 2018-07-23T14:32:53+00:00

Yes. Charm/masculinity/confidence goes a long way.

[deleted] · 2018-07-23T15:25:33+00:00

Emotional attachment definitely inflates a man's overall rating, but he has to be attractive beforehand to be noticed.

whichbladeN · 2018-07-23T16:05:14+00:00

Yes. I rejected my boyfriend when he asked me out. I had this weird perception of him when I was texting him to get to know him, and the one date we had was a group movie outing, so I literally couldn't see or talk to him.

After that it felt like more risk than reward to be romantic with him, so I just said no.

And then I saw him six months later, and actually hung out with him, and I was almost irrationally attracted to him. He was wearing his glasses for the first time and I loved it. Everything about him became a positive effect. I can't pin point exactly what it was, but I think the context of me hanging out with him had an impact. He was actually trying to set me up with his friend, so I was hanging out with both of him, and I think the comparison between him and his friend gave me some perspective about who I liked better. AND, he wasn't displaying any interest in me, so it gave me a moment to really absorb him, you know?

theiamsamurai · 2018-07-23T16:12:08+00:00

Yep. In fact I dated him for 7 years.

We were neighbours and had similar routines. I saw him every day for at least two years before we really talked. He was just a guy. I'd run into him at the coffee shop, on the train, at the grocery store, etc. We'd smile and wave and knew each other's names, but never really got to know each other. He isn't ugly, but certainly not what most people would find attractive. Average or slightly below average appearance.

One day we struck up a conversation and ended up talking for over an hour. After that, I was interested. After our second date, I was obsessed. A few of my friends were confused as to why I'd date someone "below my league", but I was SO into him.

LifterofThings · 2018-07-23T19:36:26+00:00

So I ask, have you ever felt an attraction to a guy who you initially felt was unattractive?

Not an initial "ew", but "meh" has been upgraded to super hot on many an occasion based on his being funny or intelligent or whatever other quality I happen to be having a boner for at the time.

yasee · 2018-07-23T20:15:53+00:00

Yes. shrimpy kid in my high school, huge nose, visually unappealing but he was wickedly funny/sarcastic

justhanging92 · 2018-07-24T07:09:59+00:00

That’s what happened to me. He wasn’t ugly but he wasn’t that great either but I still ended up falling for him eventually. I guess it’s weird because he was what RP would call a beta orbiter but it actually worked out for him lol. He was always there for me and I actually caught feelings for him eventually.

themormonchurch · 2018-07-24T22:45:10+00:00

you might be gay

nothing any ugly woman has ever said or done has made her more attractive to me. nothing

Title	Have you ever had sex with/felt an attraction to a guy who you initially thought was unnattractive?
Author	CocaineOnYourClit
Upvotes	6
Comments	128
Date	July 23, 2018 7:47 AM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/9154f0/have_you_ever_had_sex_withfelt_an_attraction_to_a/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/have-you-ever-had-sex-withfelt-an-attraction-to-a.261415 https://theredarchive.com/post/261415

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