What percentage of cold approaches actually lead to a dating/LTR?

NockerJoe · 2019-09-23T01:51:16+00:00

A cold approach is "we met at a coffee shop" or "we just kind of ran into each other".

Yeah your odds are really low but Tinder and Bumble aren't exactly slinging around guarantees.

NaturalQueer · 2019-09-23T05:55:36+00:00

I think it also depends where you do it and how. Like if I am on a bus with headphones in, it means leave me alone so I would be annoyed. Or places where I have to be and so can't escape the person.

Bar, clubs and parties are normally for socializing, doesn't mean I'll actually date the person but I would be more receptive to conversation that could then lead to dating.

And how plays a big part, if some one bothers me till I take my headphones off to tell me I am pretty or something it makes me uncomfortable. But if I am a coffee shop reading and a guy says like hey sorry to interrupt but I love that book or is that a good book it looks really interesting I would be more inclined to start a conversation. Not all but I think a lot of women don't like compliments from strange men that revolve around our looks ie eyes, smile, hair or body. But are sometimes more interested if a guy comments on things like style, clear hobby/ interest, or something neutral.

A big thing too is most men can't tell or ignore when you're uncomfortable so you don't even want to start with anyone. And I know some will say we'll just tell them, but not all men take that rejection well so it can be a terribly uncomfortable place to be in.

There is also a fact that if you don't find the person attractive then what do you do? Like you just want to grab a coffee not give this rando you don't find attractive a "chance", and if you talk to him you're leading him on and if you don't you're a bitch and you don't want to be harassed for saying no and you debate if you should give him a fake number or say you have a boyfriend and now you're flustered and wished you'd just stayed home.

I know you'll say well then women should just approach and what not, if a women complains that a man doesn't approach her then that's her problem, and I would agree that in her case she can't expect what she won't give. But the rest of us really just want to get through our day, and being worried about how to handle those situations can suck. I am not denying it may be frustrating for men, cause I am sure it is but I do think that's why places like online or at least more social situations (parties, clubs, ect) are best it can still be awkward but it's a little bit more expected, and learning to read people can also greatly reduce issues, if you're going to try a cold approach try things that aren't looks related and learn to recognize when that person may be uncomfortable.

XtoDoubt · 2019-09-23T03:36:30+00:00

It's low. 10% if you're really good. The big advantage is you can pull girls you never could in old because that's so looks based.

TheLongerCon · 2019-09-23T04:01:42+00:00

It's very low. 10% for guys who are really good at it.

bubblepoppa6 · 2019-09-23T02:00:20+00:00

I think there's a big difference between "cold approaches" on the street and in places where it's normal to socialise like bars and clubs. Just recently I went to the wedding of a friend who met her husband in a bar. He bought her a drink, she thought he was cute and "innocently" lamented that she hadn't been taken on a real date in a long time, and he said "I'll pick you up on Friday. Where do you live?"

Sure that started with a "cold approach" (what are you drinking? My shout), but it's very very different to a PUA bothering some woman on the street during her lunch hour.

Kos_-_Omak · 2019-09-23T04:14:56+00:00

No for true cold approaches on random stranger chicks in the middle of the day it's a very low conversion rate even for dudes who know what they're doing. Like maybe 10% of women you approach will agree to go on a date, and maybe 10% of those will actually show up and be DTF.

The upside is that it is (or should be) an extremely low investment of time and energy. It's easy to play the numbers game. You can go cold approach a dozen girls on your lunch break. So even getting rejected most of the time in the long run you will be more successful than playing bluepilled beta game and focusing entirely on trying to win over one chick at a time.

Tinder and Bumble are even worse than cold approaching for most dudes, especially when you consider that most of the women doing online dating are low value. It's low investment but even lower reward.

The most effective strategy by far is social circle game. It's harder to get going if you're starting from scratch with shitty or non-existent social circles. But once you build up some solid social circles it can be like a machine that funnels pre-selected, high quality pussy to you with minimal effort.

TheJim66 · 2019-09-23T05:14:35+00:00

Can't give you data but most of the women I've fucked have been from cold approaches(mainly night clubs).I've also had plenty of relationships start that way.When you study a STEM degree you have to improvise since social circle game is very limited.

Now the success rate varies depending on how you look but I would say I can get at least a date 20% of the time(and being somewhat selective of who I approach).

kandyapplez · 2019-09-23T10:38:30+00:00

i meet most of the guys i date in bars tbh

rus9384 · 2019-09-23T12:18:37+00:00

A better question to ask is

"What percentage of cold approaches actually lead to casual sex?"

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diffdedbed · 2019-09-23T05:14:36+00:00

Cold approaches are easy. It's just talking.

They will rarely pay off unless you are God tier because most won't be interested in any dating as they have a bf/husband , don't feel comfortable with a random stranger, whatever but the first will be common.

I got all but one gf cold approaching, but I was young enough most weren't in an ltr. I still cold approach so to speak for fun as I like talking to people. This also comes in handy for our alternative lifestyle but that's not fair to compare to a real cold approach.

Eastuss · 2019-09-23T07:48:39+00:00

What are the success rate of finding a relationship without cold approaching? if you're not an attractive male, it's going to be bellow 10% if it's not bellow 1%. And if you're not an attractive men, it's also likely that you don't have a social circle that allows you to meet 100 available women per year.

Cold approaching allows you to meet new women, sometimes from different social classes, with different hobbies and personality types. And it doesn't have the downside of being under super heavy competition like on dating apps and to be judged by a bad profile picture and bio. Or the downside of having to find hobbies and activities that you don't like just to meet girls.

churnthrowaway123456 · 2019-09-23T12:02:48+00:00

Less than zero. Meeting someone at a bar or a social event or a coffee shop is more likely to be a hookup-only situation than meeting on an app like Tinder in my experience.

Dating apps are normal. If someone talks to a stranger and agrees to go on a date with them, they are loose and carefree as hell. Not the type to ever stick around

Nodoxxintoxin · 2019-09-23T12:19:16+00:00

I met a 7 year LTR in a bar with a group of people. One by one they filtered out and went home. We stayed till about 6 am and then went out for breakfast. Went out together a few days later and were pretty much instantly a couple.

chaddad9000 · 2019-09-24T04:39:05+00:00

Day old thread, but there was one pickup artist who posted his spreadsheets and pretty much single-handedly killed the whole thing.

IIRC he was a trust fund male model who went to Harvard and spent all day gaming in Manhattan. He converted 11% of his numbers to lays, which means that his success of saying "hi" was like around 1-2%.

My take is is this stuff is all tactical, nobody can just walk around and "get lucky" using it.

eboy4hire · 2019-09-24T14:29:45+00:00

Less than 1% I'd say.

SyrusDrake · 2019-09-24T14:49:04+00:00

I never tried it myself. And I don't know a single person who ever even cold approached someone or was approached that way.

[deleted] · 2019-09-24T16:46:47+00:00

I remember my very first cold approach led to instant dating and then ltr. But I was stupid back then and ditched my other options which ended up backfiring on me when she started losing attraction, constant shit tests and me becoming beta once again until I had enough and broke up with her preemptively

[deleted] · 2019-09-24T21:09:56+00:00

If by cold approach you mean approaching a stranger and asking them to go on a date/get number, 0.00000000000000001%. The lady on the street corner with 3 missing teeth may say yes. But if you mean cold approaching by approaching someone in a social function like a house party, talking with them a while with good rapport, and at the end asking if they want to meet up next weekend for coffee, then yes it is successful.

findingfemininity · 2019-09-23T01:59:13+00:00

I know one couple that met on the bus. He didn't actually ask her out until they had been talking for a few weeks though. Anecdotally most of the couples I know either met online or through shared social groups.

However ccording to this chart which came from a 2017 study (linked in the tweet), meeting at a bar/restaurant is actually the second most common way for a couple to meet these days (OLD being #1). So maybe cold approaches are actually more common than people think.

Title	What percentage of cold approaches actually lead to a dating/LTR?
Author	bubblepoppa6
Upvotes	8
Comments	82
Date	September 23, 2019 1:37 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/d7zryt/what_percentage_of_cold_approaches_actually_lead/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/what-percentage-of-cold-approaches-actually-lead.266246 https://theredarchive.com/post/266246

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