Have you ever seen a friend be friendzoned or be seen as a nice guy or girl?

sublimemongrel · 2017-08-14T15:16:17+00:00

Depends on what you mean by "friendzoned." If you mean some girl having to explain to some guy that they are just friends and that's all she wants than yes, I've done that many times myself. Young guys confuse friendship attention from women as romantic interest. It doesn't help that some girls (like me) didn't want to hurt their feelings and probably inadvertently strung them along hoping they would get the picture without having to directly reject them and address it as a "issue". Never a fun conversation to have. Unfortunately, trying to avoid it doesn't always work either. I am sure there are also some girls who just string them along for the attention and validation. Users.

I do think this is a much bigger problem with young people. When I got into my mid-20s I was better about being direct. Nobody really asked me "how they were perceived" so i can't really answer that question.

ChelseaDagger14 · 2017-08-14T13:58:43+00:00

Yeah, I was there. It was back when I was in university. I was in the communal kitchen and a guy and girl came in. The guy had an obvious crush on the girl, he said that he was cooking dinner for her that night. Being the arsehole I was, I asked "Is it a date?", she said "No haha, we're just friends. I think we should get matching t-shirts that say 'Just friends' on them." I think he got the message.

Princeso_Bubblegum · 2017-08-14T13:33:54+00:00

If you have "friends with benefits" with someone, is that still in the friendzone?

Eastuss · 2017-08-14T13:30:37+00:00

I was in the situation. I understood quickly. And it never happened again.

I fell into this because I was willing.

Butt-Factory · 2017-08-14T17:05:49+00:00

My closest friend is a fat girl, so I've seen this happen to her over and over throughout the years. Everyone likes her, especially men, but they're not interested in dating her. She knows it's her weight and doesn't blame the men, but it still bums her out. We talk about her eating issues openly and candidly often, she knows that I'm concerned as are her other friends. I hope she's able to sort it out eventually, she really is a rad lady.

blackedoutfast · 2017-08-14T18:33:29+00:00

i see it ALL THE TIME. friends, coworkers, random people out and about. it's a pretty obvious difference between a guy who is fucking a girl, a guy who is legit friends with no sexual interest in a girl, and a guy who is in the stuck in the friendzone.

a few times i've had sit down, man-to-man talks with guys in my social circle who were really getting taken advantage of by their friendzoner- girls blatantly leading the guys on and then getting him to buy her things, give her rides places etc. no matter what you say, it never works. these dudes will rationalize their behavior and their unhealthy focus on a girl who is clearly just using them. they have to figure it out on their own.

sometimes i'll cross paths a friendzoned orbiter dude when i'm hitting on a girl. i'll start flirting with a girl, she's obviously enjoying it, the friendzoned guy swoops in acting all super jealous and starts trying to mateguard/cockblock. i'll say something like "oh is this your boyfriend?" and the girl will say "ewww no, Billy is my friend, he's like a brother to me" and you can see how much that hurts the guy.

theambivalentrooster · 2017-08-14T15:33:29+00:00

Sure, I was friend-zoned in middle school.

Then I grew up.

GoldPilot · 2017-08-14T16:19:21+00:00

Yeah. It happened to me once in high-school, and I saw it happen to a friend in college.

I gave the advice to move on and not be bitter about it or villainize the girl for not liking him that way; no point in romanticizing something that won't happen or driving away a person who likes you as a friend. Fortunately, he took the advice.

I'd have liked to be given that advice too, and I'm glad I learned it on my own.

[deleted] · 2017-08-14T16:27:19+00:00

I friendzoned my SO. Now he's my SO. Was it really a friendzone then?

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[deleted] · 2017-08-14T13:39:41+00:00

Yeah, I saw this all the time. ALL the time.

If so did you tell them how they were perceived?

Sometimes.

Did they listen to your advice or just ignore it?

Most times they listened. Sometimes they ignored it.

If you were in that situation would you want to be told?

Yes. I have been in that situation many times. Sometimes I was told; most times I wasn't.

Or just remain ignorant?

No

ChelseaDagger14 · 2017-08-14T15:28:05+00:00

Weirdly enough despite being a loser and mostly hanging out with other losers I never saw this happen in real life.

whichbladeN · 2017-08-14T18:10:42+00:00

I would say any rejection between two people who are more than acquaintances is considered friendzoning.

So yeah. That happens.

DaThrowaway808 · 2017-08-14T18:32:54+00:00

I've been in the situation of being the person that was friendzoned, which I had some issue with, but when the person did not believe that I was okay being just a friend and they treated me poorly (as a friend), then I ended my friendship with them (let it naturally drift apart).

Only now that I have a term for it do I realize that it's more akin to "beta orbitter" than it is any kind of "friendship".

[deleted] · 2017-08-14T19:10:19+00:00

Happened to me in middle school. I was pretty quick to realize it though.

One of my younger brothers is in a bit of a friendzone situation. I told him as much. He doesn't listen but then again, dating is a lot more complicated for him on account of a cognitive impairment.

[deleted] · 2017-08-14T23:42:51+00:00

I've instigated a handful of "come to Jesus" talks with some of my friends whom I saw slipping into painful unrequited love situations. Most were well received. The key is to be gentle.

despisedlove2 · 2017-08-15T04:13:33+00:00

Yes.

It is better to know.

I was friendzoned a few times as a teenager before I realized that I was physically unattractive, and stopped caring about women that desperately.

For better looking men, this is obviously a problem that never quite goes away.

decoy88 · 2017-08-15T08:41:04+00:00

I gave them a breakdown on all our clearly obvious incompatibilities and personality clashes. Advised how it would break any attempt at a serious relationship.

I've also phrased it as "I'm too much of an asshole" and had the same done to me.

I'd always want to know why. Simply because knowledge is power.

I feel most who get into this are perceived as clingy and/or boring. Which may or may not be true.

eliechallita · 2017-08-15T20:38:42+00:00

Hell, I went through it myself once or twice, and I still feel like kicking myself for it.

My friends could tell that it was the case, and they did warn me at the time. I wasn't smart enough to take their advice, but looking back I appreciate them telling me.

DB605 · 2017-08-15T21:19:38+00:00

Yes, I've known dozens of people who've gotten friendzoned. It's extremely common. Anyone who says it doesn't exist is a dumb dumb imo.

Told? I mean...who doesn't know? Most people know they're friendzoned when they're friendzoned. The issue is men do not know how to avoid being friendzoned because beta men are taught blank slatism so they figure if they're just very agreeable, obviously Jenny will see that he'd make a better boyfriend than Derk the Jerk.

Mr_Smoogs · 2017-08-14T13:45:02+00:00

I was in that situation a long time ago. Wish the manopshere was around then to help me.

wtknight · 2017-08-14T14:47:48+00:00

I've been friendzoned, realized it and didn't care just because I was glad to even be in the presence of a woman and talking to her even knowing that nothing was ever going to happen between me and her.

I've also friendzoned women before, as well, just because I'm different from most other guys in that I won't just have sex with any woman, but I also sometimes appreciate their personalities even if I'm not physically attracted to them.

decoy88 · 2017-08-14T13:51:36+00:00

Yeah I have. It isnt the end of the world if you realise what is going on and cut it loose.

What fucks me off is when women try and friendzone you when you arent even attracted to them. This has happened quite a few times, I was just trying to be friendly and then they come out with some shit like "I like you as a friend", with the impication that they arent attracted to me. This is when I wasnt even attracted to them either. If you go and broach that then and say "it's ok I dont think youre all that anyway", they get a hurt ego. Women often have poor judgement and read shit wrong in my opinion. I think the better social skills they are supposed to have is sexist bullshit.

The last time I was dating a lot one girl I boned friendzoned me. But Im getting too old for that shit now. She kept asking if we could hang out, and each time she did I responded that I was going out on a date and whatnot. Eventually she cracked up and I wound up boning her again, then when she asked if I was interested in a relationship I turned her down. Cos of all that shit.

These days, I dont make friends with women unless they come into my sphere ie work or friend of a friend. This means I havent been freindzoned for a long while. There is simply no need to have a female friend for me now, there is no value to it unless it happens by circumstance.

[deleted] · 2017-08-14T14:45:08+00:00

Oh all the time. Less so as you get older (post-college). But go to bars with friends and you can definitely tell who put women on pedestals (hint: almost all). I've tried telling them "RP truths", of course not in the lame lingo the sub uses, but most of the time they don't believe it despite me having easily the most success in the group

That's why it's called the red pill. It's tough to swallow and many decide not to. You can lead a horse to water, you can't make it drink

sittinginabaralone · 2017-08-14T16:18:11+00:00

I've seen guys complain about being nice and not getting anything in return. However I don't call them "nice guys" and shit on their behavior. I just say that you shouldn't pamper a girl who isn't interested in you. I've never met any of the seriously desperate guys you see online. I've actually seen way more women who fit that description.

Title	Have you ever seen a friend be friendzoned or be seen as a nice guy or girl?
Author	Dominic_Badguy
Upvotes	5
Comments	72
Date	August 14, 2017 1:29 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/6tmefs/have_you_ever_seen_a_friend_be_friendzoned_or_be/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/have-you-ever-seen-a-friend-be-friendzoned-or-be.266461 https://theredarchive.com/post/266461

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