CMV: Women dont care as much about their partners past sexual history because they tend to date down (in terms of physical attractiveness)

dakru · 2017-01-10T21:08:01+00:00

I believe the reasoning behind this is because women tend to date down, and by down I mean men less attractive than them. I feel this is because women dont want to become jealous of potential competition, be compared to past partners, and wanting to be "the best" that the guy can get or has ever gotten.

You're saying that women tend to date "down" because they don't want to be jealous of potential competition? If they seek out less attractive men, wouldn't this mean that less attractive men are the most desirable, and they have an easier time getting dates and relationships than more attractive men? But this does not seem the slightest bit plausible to me.

JaggedYellowPill · 2017-01-10T22:01:13+00:00

Where can I find these women who prefer to date men less attractive than them?

DucksCanDance · 2017-01-10T21:27:15+00:00

Women do not date down.

Historically 60-70% of men reproduce. 90% of women did. If women dated down in any meaningful way, the number of men who reproduced could not be this much lower than the number of women who reproduce

QED. Come at me

shogunofsarcasm · 2017-01-10T21:03:40+00:00

I don't want to be mean to my past partners as I really did (sometimes still do) think they were very attractive. However none of them seem to fit the definition of a "chad"

I am not the hottest myself but I am decent enough and I tended to view them all as on par with me. Some people disagreed so maybe you are on to something?

It definitely wasn't because of jealousy though. I was super jealous of one guy always hanging out with his ex because he had quite a few but I learned that was a problem with me not with him and got over it. I just really don't care about their past as long as they are exclusively with me and clean.

I think most women just date guys they are attracted to

ppzhao · 2017-01-11T00:36:57+00:00

Women do not "date down". We just judge attractiveness (SMV) differently. Women's SMV is mostly in her looks. Men's is his whole package, which includes looks, confidence, leadership qualities, wealth, social status, etc.

In terms of SMV: plain looking male CEO = hot female supermodel; Manager of a Walmart = cute cashier

So yeah, women do not "date down" at all - there's even a theory that women try to "date up", that's why you have the phenomenon of (exaggerated) 90% of women all going after the top 20% of men.

anitapk · 2017-01-11T10:32:33+00:00

Put a woman in front of a kissless virgin and see how much she cares less about sexual history

[deleted] · 2017-01-11T02:04:56+00:00

Your post has merit in that it's an interesting concept - men and women having different views on what makes them their partner's 'best'. And I think there might be something in what you said. But the desire for a good looking partner trumps it, and women will be swayed by good looks.

Most couples I see are pretty evenly matched in attractiveness.

Lots of women worry about men's count, and usually these women are of low or zero n-count and are looking to marry. There have been college studies done on this.

[deleted] · 2017-01-11T14:46:43+00:00

You're correct that women don't care as much about male N as men care about female N. You're incorrect about the reasons.

I noticed men tend to care about that kind of stuff, and women seem to care less. I believe the reasoning behind this is because women tend to date down, and by down I mean men less attractive than them.

No. Women aren't really all that concerned about how many women he fucked before or what that was like for him. Women assume that if she's interested in a guy, he's had other women interested in him before and he's had sex before. I think women concern themselves mostly with how he feels about her, whether he loves her, and whether he's willing to stay with her, not about how many women he fucked before she met him. Women care about now, right now. They don't care so much about his past. They care about their own pasts, but not too much about his past history.

Women date down(dating someone physically unattractive or not as attractive as them) so they dont have to deal with jealousy and past sexual history.

I don't think women date down, or at least they don't think they date down. I don't see women today dating men who are not physically attractive at all. I have no idea where you're getting that. Men who are not physically attractive at all are pretty much shut out of this dating market. IN 2017, hotness is everything.

If women "date down" to unattractive men or less attractive men, it is not because they want to avoid dealing with jealousy or past histories. It is almost always because they don't have a choice. It is because they cannot get relationships with men they find attractive, and because they don't want casual sex for one reason or another.

Sometimes, women date down because they want to be able to "control" the relationship more and they can do that with a guy who's unattractive and don't get pussy often, so they're thirsty. And that does happen.

But it's not because they don't want to deal with a guy's past. It's because they want control, or because the less attractive guys are their only remaining options.

MorpheusGodOfDreams · 2017-01-11T01:03:16+00:00

Your view is backwards. Women end up with a beta bux because they are older and less attractive when they get married, and the alpha with options does not want to deal with their shit. (unless they were smart and married younger to a more established man)

By dating the beta they are guaranteed to attach themselves to his monetary value and slowly erode his already doormat personality. Marriage psychologist John Gottman noted that women tend to escalate arguments, which makes men's cortisol levels spike as if they were under physical attack. This leads to them walking on eggshells to keep the wife happy, which kills any respect she has for him.

She is not choosing him BECAUSE he has few options, but rather because her own shrinking options mean that she has to cash out. The best options to cash out on are the guys who spent more time making money and less time chasing girls. By definition this means less competition.

Women don't really care about being a man's best because they get the bux and the guy can't leave without a divorce. Men NEED to be the best, not just for himself but also to limit dead bedrooms, cheating, and divorce.

This is why all successful societies limit women's sexual freedom, and often enforce monogamy or polygamy.

LeaneGenova · 2017-01-10T20:56:14+00:00

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[deleted] · 2017-01-11T00:53:19+00:00

Couldn't have anything to do with a lifetime of hearing that promiscuous male = stud (positive), promiscuous female = slut (negative).

Nah

EchoZeroEleven · 2017-01-11T04:50:07+00:00

This really is more of a question of her values than anything else. I think the majority won't care - everyone's got a past.

Though, I have met some that were either disgusted or fearful of being with someone of a N-count of (around) more than 2. Caveat: those were religious.

DicklessAlpha · 2017-01-11T06:15:39+00:00

I don't understand the concept of 'being the best'.

If she is actually recalling better sex with a person she broke up with, either she doesn't love you as much or you are very selfish in bed.

The reason for aversion towards sluts is far from insecurity, its disgust.

[deleted] · 2017-01-11T20:18:04+00:00

This is why women LTR down. They date Chad for the thrills and hopes to lock him down with child so that she can be the most important/attention deserving person in Chads life, not necessarily the best. Its an important distinction to make because Chads don't have "best" they've been with, they're raw unrestrained males who rather variety over a single best lover.

dxfifa · 2017-01-12T02:42:13+00:00

In my country it's weird because our men are considered attractive overall and women not. So i see so many couples where the man is much more handsome than the women is beautiful but they're probably equivalent on a bell curve a lot of the time

exit_sandman · 2017-01-12T09:06:34+00:00

Nah.

Women don't care that much about a man's sexual history because

there's a correlation between the attractiveness of the man and the # of chicks he bedded and
an unfaithful/non-monogamous partner doesn't put their maternity in jeopardy.

Neither point applies to female sluts: for women, sluttiness doesn't really correlate with attractiveness (maybe at the bottom for women who are too unattractive to get sufficiently attractive men to fuck them), and female promiscuity does put cast shadows of doubt on the male partner's paternity.

Charmingaxelotl · 2017-01-13T07:19:14+00:00

It's my understanding that women always try to date up.

Title	CMV: Women dont care as much about their partners past sexual history because they tend to date down (in terms of physical attractiveness)
Author	Meh_Dick_Dray
Upvotes	15
Comments	109
Date	January 10, 2017 8:53 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/5n7lw3/cmv_women_dont_care_as_much_about_their_partners/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/cmv-women-dont-care-as-much-about-their-partners.270715 https://theredarchive.com/post/270715

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