Why do women prefer to date men of their own race?

dejour · 2015-01-13T15:35:42+00:00

Almost everyone is somewhat racist (at least subconsciously). I think this is somewhat hardwired. You learn to trust people that look like your family. In the distant past, it probably made sense to be wary of people that looked a lot different than you. Such people would have usually been invaders, and a risk to your safety.

Dating is one area where people don't feel too bad about being racist. If you think you should like someone of another race, but you don't, is it actually a nice thing to date them? Most people want to be wanted in their relationships. People might be willing to recognize and correct for their biases when hiring people, but does it make sense for dating?

Since women get more choice than men in dating, women's racism is more apparent. If men and women were equally choosy, I'm not sure there would be a divergence in racism.

exit_sandman · 2015-01-13T15:40:46+00:00

You'd have to check whether these preferences are biological or socially ingrained; and this is one of the rare cases where I think the latter holds true.

Asian/Indian women date and marry inside their group because they're expected to; black women date and marry inside their group probably because of a mix of attraction reasons (black guys are pretty much the tip of the masculinity scale) and expectations (I've heard quite a bunch of times that blacks claim black women as "theirs"; but GridReXX may tell you more about that); for Muslim women all of the above applies. White women stay within their own group because white guys tend to be the highest status group and usually offer the best bets available for white women.

relationshipdownvote · 2015-01-13T15:52:16+00:00

Or are they just biologically hardwired to be racist? If the latter, does this imply that ethnic homogeneity is perhaps, a key element in the success of a family, tribe, state, etc.? Should women's racist vaginas be praised for their instinctive wisdom?

You have to look at male versus female mating strategies. Women are naturally weaker and have a much larger investment in each possible pregnancy. For this reason they need to play it safe and take a fairly conservative approach towards finding a partner. Dating someone "outside your tribe" would involve a bit of risk, you could be ostracized from the community you depend on more, you would be alone with someone who might not be as vetted by your tribe.

Men however don't have to worry as much about these risks, they get to see the upside of spreading their genetic code among a much different group of people. They can protect themselves and don't have to worry about being pushed out of a community as they don't depend on it as heavily as a woman with children.

sh1v · 2015-01-13T15:48:48+00:00

I won't comment any more on your hateful language. You know that you used it and you know why.

If you look at larger scale data, such as censuses and Pew surveys available on the Wikipedia page on interracial marriage in the US, you will notice that it varies depending on race. For example, in 2010, 24% of black men married outside their race, while only 9% of black women did. For Asians, the gender pattern is the opposite, 36% of Asian women married outside their race, compared to 17% of Asian men. I expect it will also vary in other countries, but I can't be bothered to look it up for you.

exit_sandman · 2015-01-13T19:35:49+00:00

My overtly racist father could have something to do with this.

Or that I wasn't socialized with individuals of other races, not in the home or even school. By the time I entered university, my 'preferences' for attractive individuals was already mapped out.

No one is born racist. We are socialized to be racist.

whystoppnow · 2015-01-13T19:45:11+00:00

I think it has to do with peer pressure. A lot of 18 to early 20s women don't date black men because of the stigma that only sluts and girls that "hate their father" date black guys. After traveling I've found European women to be much less racist.

GridReXX · 2015-01-13T15:27:09+00:00

I've noticed this with black women. See here.

I really can't say anything about that trend among other races.

I got a lot of flack from my friends for dating my ex, a bearded stylish white guy. Black American women have a complex regarding black men. Many of them feel black men aren't uplifted enough and we owe it to them to support them unwaveringly or whatever. I don't disagree, but exclusive rights to my vagina isn't part of the deal.

Additionally it's a culture thing. "Will the non-black guy get it?" "Does he understand or is he willing to be part of the culture?" "Does he realize that when my hair gets wet I look like this?"

Something New with Sanaa Lathan and Simon Baker hit on all of these points and insecurities black women might have. LOL. It shows how black women have this huge list for their perfect black man and it also shows how black women completely dismiss the attention of non-black men, at least at first.

Also... it's true to me at least that black men do seem to be more naturally assertive and and manly. It's easier for me to find a bunch of Idris Elba's in real life than it is to find a bunch of Jason Statham's. If that's like your thing.

lollibut · 2015-01-13T16:21:40+00:00

If I had my dating days over to do again (unlikely, I'm currently partnered, have had my kids with him and doubt I could be bothered taking on another man if I became single) I would prefer to date within my culture again. I'm used to the expectations of my culture and I know that if a man shares my culture chances are if he deviates from those expectations and I don't like it I can call upon his family to help give him a damn good kick in the conscience. The whole societal compliance thing is just tighter when you are all the same culture.

I suppose that because I am white, whiteness tends to be a marker of shared culture, but given the choice of varying on race or varying on culture, I'd rather we varied on race. I'd much rather date an African American who has strongly manifiested African appearance but is broadly speaking American, than date a recently immigrant desert Arab who happens to have been dealt a very white looking set of genes for appearance but is about as different as possible culturally. Of course, best of all is to date another Australian of similar background to me.

If I was offered partners in a medium where few other cues to the culture other than race were present, chances are I'd use race to guide me. shrug Similar culture is just that important to me that I would regard rejection of a few guys who are of different race to me but similar enough culture as an acceptable level of collateral damage. If offered a dating service where it was not possible to effectively discriminate based on culture at all, I would reject the dating service.

drok007 · 2015-01-13T15:30:56+00:00

As someone who is mixed race, I can't really date my own race, I've never really understood the whole identify with your race thing.

Any mixed race women care to weigh in? Do you identify with a particular race? Does it effect your decision in mate choice? Due to interracial coupling, there are more and more people of mixed race.

Also, yeah it's dailymail. Basically, mixed race are better because we are less inbred.

Edit: typo

Christian_Kong · 2015-01-13T16:06:36+00:00

I think its more date within your culture. You go to certain large cities, and they seem to be a mixing pot. Some areas are but most are divided by finances and upbringing. Out where I live all the Asians live in a certain area, whites in another and blacks are in another(obviously there is a little mix here and here). In college I saw the same thing in the cafeteria.

Its because if you dress a certain way and listen to a type of music, you can bond with theses people easier. Im middle class white(skinned, though I am half hispanic) and pretty much everyone I know(and everyone they know) is white. I havent met any black/asian/hispanic people in ages, havent had the opportunity.

The population is a lot less racially diverse than people paint it out to be.

I-I__I-I · 2015-01-13T17:17:45+00:00

everyone is racist. kin selection is genetically coded (likely as it's seen throughout the animal kingdom), and causes people to be kinder to those they are more genetically related to. race is one of the biggest indicators of genetic relatedness.

Denswend · 2015-01-13T19:42:09+00:00

This topic is kinda stupid and let me tell you why.

You've got the Mainstream Outer Party which represents the "right wing" (Republicans), and you've got Mainstream Inner Party which represents the left wing (Democrats). Occasionally, the two change places, but this is irrelevant. The relevant stuff is that the Inner Party dictates the term of discourse by censoring what the other party can say, and how they are perceived. Inner Party thus gets a monopoly on the Overton Window. You won't see any mainstream Outer Party comedians because making fun of Inner Party is racist-misogynist/subversive marxist dialectics/anti-revolutionary bourgeois propaganda/heresy - you're going to find that humor (and if /pol/ proves something, there's plenty of it) hidden. You won't see any mainstream Outer Party musicians, because it is the elites who dictate who is "hip" and in era of mass propaganda their grasp is even stronger. Compare that to earlier era where you had folks like Haman or Goethe or Burke or Chateaubriand or Wagner.

Important thing is that Inner Party dictates the terms of discourse and the Outer Party grovels like some court jester instead of holding their ground while it meagerly tries to push back the insults to them. Consider Roterham rape scandal. It was systemic abuse and rape (the word which sends every feminist in mouth frothing frenzy) of 1400 girls - if there ever was a rape culture more present, it is there. The person who reported it got a "diversity" training. Even Pakistanis themselves condemned the reason if was covered up (presumably thinking "what the fuck is wrong with white people" and "how the fuck did these guys conquer us"). The elite, the Inner Party and its supporters, care more for that the Outer Party is always ousted as the permanently anti-"progress" party, and it is somehow more "moral" to not give "oxygen to racism" than to stop your daughters being raped. And just like the recent Charlie Hebdo incident, the people will feign support for imbeciles like that, and then convienently "forget" the perpetrators while "honoring" the victim - and the continue on shitting on Front Nationale. Instead of pouncing on this, and using this as a way to cement their power, Outer Party grovel like rats, trying to find any racism in Inner Party, the party of hipster pseudo-intellectual special snowflakes (of course this people are fucking racist!), so that they may meagerly say "b...b..but, Obama is the real raycis, vote for us welfare state parasite pls". They do insane things not to get "ousted" as racists, they expel a guy who just talks to a White Separatist organization, and still get called raycis. It's like "Oh Gosh darn, I might have sold the land of my forefathers into third world cultural dsytopia, but at least no one ever called me racist!".

It's like trying to oust feminism as racist, it's just stupid, because this people don't follow logic. They aren't dedicated to finding a a long term solution because they aren't interested in things they are supposedly against because they aren't interested in finding patterns around them. Feminism is against rape culture only when it's white. They give more attention to leaked nudes of actresses than they do to victims of actual rape - as long as the rape wasn't white. It's like the "NYC catcalling video" where all the folks catcalling her were non-whites. They are merely interested in prolonging their power and remaining elites by shitting on people that they can shit.

Naturally, when their low level scrubs, unaware of the massive hypocrisy of their progressive spouting elites (who feel that #blacklivesmatter but live inside 99 percent white areas), try to apply this pathological tolerance to real world the worst case scenario (or best, if you have a devil's sense of humor) is that they get raped, killed, mugged (like in Rotherham). The best case scenario is that they get positively puzzed when the reality of their innate preferences comes into contradiction with what their corrupt elites spew. Consider this :

It MIGHT be racist, but this is one topic I'm not so sure about. I think it's just about sticking to what you know.

The person saying that is so drenched with lies of progressivism that he wears his submissiveness, his perennial white guilty, his disgusting nature as a willing servant to underserving people as a badge of pride. He considers any sympathy given to men, or any scrutiny given to "social progress" to be equivalent of mass murder - and I shit you not, he once equated paternity test with child murder. Of course he considers racism a mortal sin, one for which the 8 hour long rape sessions for himself and his closest by "unprivileged cultural enrichers" is hardly any apology - but it's a start! And of course that when a person discriminates sexually by race discriminates in a racist manner - and here his conflict of "a woman should be free to have preferences" and "racism is a mortal sin" becomes revealed, and is subsequently hand waved away.

Because that's what they do when they commit hatecrimethink or their logic doesn't fit actual logic. Handwave stuff away. Just like Roterham/Hebdo will only be remembered for the "oxygen given to racist right wing fascists", and the reasons why they happened will be handwaved to "oppressively repressive white power society where disprivileged minorities cannot succeed".

[deleted] · 2015-01-13T22:56:15+00:00

It's almost like okcupid complied a blog series on how men are different to women. Why hasn't the world found out about this? /s

What explains this shocking racism/discrimination on the part of women?

'Women are racist' isn't on the right page here. Serial killers prefer to hunt within their own race. If they choose the race of their victims based on racism why would they kill there own race?

I think we are hardwired to find people who look like us attractive. it looks like just like racism because they result is the same when it come too date but it also explains the serial killer general racial preference.

I have told a few people that I find Kstew to be the most attractive girl I've ever seen (for some reason she looks ugly in twilight). The response u have received to that is 'you look similar'. Which makes me think I'm on the right track. Men generally put more effort in the funding a mate than women who can sit and pick, between those who contact her. Men for this reason have a broader range of dates. I personally have date mostly outside my race, but still only girls I find attractive.

The expectation to the rule are races the are 'uglier' than other races. Indians (from India not America) are generally the worst at this. I discuss dating with many men in my city. The bitterest are Indian men because they all want white women but no white women wants an Indian. Indians living in the western world are the kind of person to scream "race traitor" when their own race, goes and dates other races because it restricts their already limited dating pool even further.

So that's my stance. It's not racism it's narcissism. It's not about hating others it's about finding aspects of yourself in your partners. With exceptions going out to men, for dating more broadly and uglier people harbouring inferiority complexes.

Yonderlander · 2015-01-13T16:25:15+00:00

I think you mean 'some women' in the title and where you write about women being racist. Hell I read that there were so many posts in the red pill about minority women dating outside their race that the topic was banned.

Surely you can't seriously think that AWAR- All women are racist?

InformalCriticism · 2015-01-13T16:25:17+00:00

Why do women prefer to date men of their own race?

That being the real question, you list a lot of things, and seem to want to know which of all the things it is. But, it's not a singular answer; it's all the answers.

More interestingly is whether there's a stronger tendency toward it, and I would say there is. As for the cause, I would venture, based on my experience with women, to say vanity more than anything causes unconscious racist vibes. Anything that doesn't make them feel like they're prized posessions is going to make them feeled "creeped" or uncomfortable, so they'll naturally avoid a world in which they are not a part of something "special". In this case, a genetic varient within the species that is obvious to the eyes.

sh1v · 2015-01-13T16:36:29+00:00

People like having babies that look like them?

powerkick · 2015-01-13T16:44:55+00:00

Easy: We want to date what we know. I think plenty of guys are like that, too. It MIGHT be racist, but this is one topic I'm not so sure about. I think it's just about sticking to what you know.

sh1v · 2015-01-13T18:36:51+00:00

The main reason white women end up with white men in the end overwhelming is due to their own narcissism. That blonde blue eyed girl wants a blonde blue eyed daughter she can dress up like her own personal Barbie and live vicariously through.

VermiciousKnidzz · 2015-01-17T19:56:47+00:00

Is the feminist shit talk about men having "fetishes" for "exotic women" or being "shallow" for dating outside their own race really just a big defense mechanism to avoid having to explain the racism of women and/or avoid giving credit to men for their openmindedness?

hahaha you sound like Chris Farley in his Bennett Bauer SNL skit.

i think its just that society is racist, whether people know it or not. google "beautiful people" or "model" in google image and the majority of the results will be white people. I think that men are a discriminatory of dating women outside their race as much as women are, but since the porn industry/the general entertainment media caters towards straight white male sexuality, the racism has manifested as fetishes. the fact that i still hear guys say "i saw this super hot asian girl at a party" rather than "i saw this super hot girl at a party" is evidence to me that a lot of guys fetishize race.

hafelekar · 2015-01-24T18:30:20+00:00

When it comes to marriage relationships within your race seam to be easier and socially more excepted. For a an affair it does not matter. Woman are more Iinto searching Mr. RIGHT....

goatismycopilot · 2015-01-13T21:20:24+00:00

I have dated out of my race ( I am white ) I find individual men attractive, so while I am seeing an old white dude now ( because I am old ) I would absolutely date a not white dude. Part of it is opportunity. When I was doing my useless under grad degree the small city I lived in had a larger than usual Vietnamese population so I dated a couple of Vietnamese guys. I lived in a part of Texas that was heavily Hispanic and before I married my ex husband I dated all Hispanic dudes for a few years because that was who asked me out. I live outside a city where the black population slightly out numbers the white population so I have dated a few black dudes.

I do have a type I gravitate to but I am pretty flexible.

l_____o_____l · 2015-01-13T21:29:33+00:00

You are reading the studies wrong. Women dont prefer their own race, they prefer white men.

And its because white men are statistically less conservative / more likely to be egalitarian.

[deleted] · 2015-01-14T02:35:14+00:00

I looked for members of the tribe 'yo.

Could care less about race.

elborracho420 · 2015-01-13T19:56:08+00:00

It's mostly in group/out group psychology. Also, exposure theory. It's really not that complicated.

[deleted] · 2015-01-14T16:24:07+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Title	Why do women prefer to date men of their own race?
Author	sh1v
Upvotes	4
Comments	130
Date	January 13, 2015 3:01 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/2saa72/why_do_women_prefer_to_date_men_of_their_own_race/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/why-do-women-prefer-to-date-men-of-their-own-race.283812 https://theredarchive.com/post/283812

Comments