If girls wear makeup only for themselves, why do girls typically put on makeup before they go out?

[deleted] · 2014-12-27T13:44:25+00:00

do girls put on makeup when they stay home all day?

I do. Maybe I'm weird because I haven't seen anyone else in this discussion answer this portion of the question, but I will put on makeup when at home all day and not expecting anyone.

Granted, I only wear some foundation and lip balm (plain or tinted), so it doesn't take much time or effort at all. I might also take a minute to decide on an outfit rather than grabbing the first shirt I see. I do these things because afterward I look in the mirror and think I look good and get a bit of a boost in mood. Maybe that sounds shallow or full of myself but I genuinely feel happier. Combine that with the good feelings of being home alone all day (I'm an introvert and don't get many days alone) and I'm ready to conquer the world. I'm a chore and homework machine.

So yes, I put on makeup to look good. Sometimes it is for my boyfriend or to look more put together at work, but sometimes it really is just for me.

Spam4119 · 2014-12-27T07:56:09+00:00

Just because somebody wants to look attractive doesn't mean they are looking attractive for the sake of having sex, attracting a partner, or anything of that nature. You can want to look attractive and not have any goal on wanting to attract anybody.

For example, I am a guy, and on Christmas Eve I trimmed my beard, showered, styled my hair, and I put on the clothes I would typically wear to go out. Basically I dressed the same way I would have if I was going to a party or something. Yet the only other younger person there was my older brother, and everybody else was old family members. So I was trying to look attractive in some way, but clearly I wasn't trying to attract anybody.

And you know what? It did make me feel better and more confident about myself regardless of the lack of presence of single women my age.

SpaceWhiskey · 2014-12-27T15:00:59+00:00

It sounds like you're missing the point. Of course make-up is worn to look attractive. But being attractive is what many women (and men I imagine) do for themselves primarily. I wear make-up for the same reason that I style my hair and brush my teeth and wear deodorant and don't eat Burger King three times a day. I don't want to be a gross person. I want to be respected by the other adult members of society I encounter. I have a job, and when I interact with a new client/co-worker I want them to have a good impression of me. Not because I'm attracted to them, but because it's a professional thing to do. I don't really understand the confusion here, guys talk about working out/self-improvement for their own sake over at TRP all the time. Wanting to be the best possible version of yourself isn't a gendered thing.

Sometimes, when I really just don't feel like talking to anyone, I might go out gross on purpose. Not smelly or anything, but I'll not do any make-up, wear baggy shapeless clothes, not bother with my hair, ect. It's amazing how differently society treats you.

[deleted] · 2014-12-27T12:04:33+00:00

I put makeup on when I'm staying in at home and so do my sisters. I just enjoy it.

I also don't always put it on when I go out because sometimes I am lazy. In general I don't really think about how people will see me with or without makeup.

Cactuar_Tamer · 2014-12-27T09:29:34+00:00

I don't wear makeup except for job interviews and special occasions, but I'll answer re: clothing, since the same issue is brought up a lot for what women wear..

I think you've got it wrong, first of all. I don't see "I do it for me" as often as I see, "I don't do it for you/men." The latter statement is certainly true, and the first one is, also, in my estimation, even if it's not the exclusive motivation.

I get dressed up for me in the sense that the process is fun and it makes me feel good when people tell me I'm cute, or when people look at me and appreciate my outfit. And re: the second part of my statement above, when I say people, I mean other women...because the primary audience I'm concerned with is other women.

::shrug:: I don't really see how it differs from, say, art. I do that for me too. I enjoy the process of creating a picture as I enjoy the process of sewing or putting together an outfit, and I don't think that's invalidated if I also enjoy that others appreciate the final product.

98769876987698767 · 2014-12-27T13:20:16+00:00

Yes, girls that wear niqabs still wear make up.

Of course girls wear make up to make themselves more attractive. This is for both themselves and other people. Looking better makes one feel better. It may or may not be for attracting others.

This goes for both men and women. Pretty generic human behavior.

tintedlipbalm · 2014-12-27T16:50:37+00:00

I put on make up in the morning whether I leave the house or not. Not heavy make up but do my brows, some concealer and mascara. It is my favorite ritual of the day to do, so I do it. I think it's really engrained in me by now, it is like a placebo effect that helps me wake up (like getting out of pajamas).

Similarly, when I was little and I wanted nice panties my mom would say "Why? Nobody is going to see them, just get plain white ones" and I was always like "But I am going to see them". I think looking nice has always been a top priority for me, but I had to pick that outlook somewhere from society, so I wouldn't say it is entirely for me, but it is a ritual I do regardless of outside gaze (the same as wearing nice panties).

GridReXX · 2014-12-27T11:10:44+00:00

I wear light makeup because it's an annoying expectation now.

When I try to go to work without a dash of under eye concealer or eyeliner motherfuckers think I'm sick or tired or being lazy or unprofessional.

Makeup is a set up !

On a serious note. Red lip is the shit. I love a good nude colored lip, but a bold red lip is powerful.

Sales associates at stores treat you better. When you're giving a presentation it commands attention.

Kind of like how a guy with a bespoke suit is going to win more people other including other men than a guy in an ill fitting suit.

I hate pancake makeup, but some light makeup just makes life easier. It's not about attracting a mate. It's about attracting everyone. When people like the way you look, they subconsciously grant you more leniency than others.

This is basic psych 101.

It's why I'll never understand neckbeards who act like dressing well and looking your best isn't important and then in the same breath complain about how their life sucks. Bitch. Have a seat. And learn a lesson.

Now when it comes to attracting a mate. I don't need makeup. People I've been with are okay with my natural face. I can wear sweat pants and a high bun and no makeup and feel okay about my attractiveness. If I happen to go out on a real date. I'll wear a bit of makeup and a sheath dress just so he knows "oh she knows how to turn on and be miss fancy gala lady if the time comes."

And I'm judging him the same. I prefer a slightly rugged beard and slightly outgrown hair, but I want to know my boyfriend can cleanup if we have to go to an event.

tinydot · 2014-12-27T10:36:22+00:00

I used to wear makeup as a means to increase my level of attractiveness, yes. Then, I realized that guys were just fine with my face the way it is, and that the things that I noticed were wrong were just flying way under their radar.

Girls grow up having this shit shoved down our throats. You have to do this to be pretty. If you don't do that, no one will like you and you'll be miserable. It takes a while to undo all that and to just accept yourself as you are.

I got to that stage, and now I only wear it when I go out. It's part of my outfit. I put on the pretty dress, the makeup, and the matching shoes. It's fun, and it's a nice little confidence boost to see a few heads turning, I'll admit.

That's where the doing it for me part comes in. I don't want people approaching me, as I'm in a committed relationship, nor do I really think about flaws in my skin or the size of my eyes or nose. I don't need anyone's validation to be happy and secure, it's just fun to play dress up and get that second or two of . . .Er, validation? That's not the word I mean, but it's the only one that comes to mind. I'll edit if the right one pops up.

Bakerofpie · 2014-12-27T15:30:53+00:00

For me, makeup has three main functions:

Hiding imperfections. I'm 21 years old, and when I'm talking to other people (classmates, my bosses, my students) I want their focus to be on me, not the giant, red, painful cystic pimple on my cheek. I want to cover that up because it's not who I am so I don't want it to be part of any first impressions I make. When I don't get a full night's sleep, I also get awful dark circles under my eyes, and then I get to spend the day being asked if I'm all right. A couple extra minutes in the morning spent applying color corrector and concealer makes all those questions go away.
It makes me feel good, dammit. When I look my best, I feel my best. It's hard to be productive when I'm in pajamas and a fun-bun, so I put on real clothes and brush my hair to get myself in a better mindset. Makeup works the same way for me. The time I spend applying it in the morning is like my meditation. I slow down for a bit and get my head in the game before I take on the day. The type of makeup I apply is situationally appropriate for what I'll be doing, so it prepares me for what's next. Plus, everyone likes compliments, and you get a lot more of them when you're wearing a badass lipstick then when you're not wearing any makeup at all. That said, I regularly go without makeup, even (especially?) in front of my boyfriend. It really is mostly for my own happiness.
Self-expression. I change my hairstyle several times each year, I change my outfit and jewelry every day, and for a few years I changed my hair color every few months. I enjoy playing with my appearance to reflect who I am and what I like, so why should my face have to look the same every day? I love bold lipstick: purple, fuschia, red, burgundy, even black. I'm not fooling anyone when I wear bright or shimmery eyeshadow, so it's not like anyone's being tricked into thinking I'm attractive. I just love the colors and enjoy the process of applying them to my face. Usually I wear my brightest and boldest looks when I'm staying in to watch Netflix.

It gets really, really old when people (male or female) decide that I'm totally wearing makeup for their viewing pleasure and imply that I'm lying if I say otherwise.

wombatinaburrow · 2014-12-27T09:07:47+00:00

Makeup is usually expected in the workplace. A naked face in most offices is as acceptable as a naked bum.

ianturpiesmoustache · 2014-12-27T06:43:24+00:00

Maybe I'm not understanding what it means to put on makeup for "yourself."

It means they're not doing it to meet your/anyone else's approval, but because they like it.

Do girls that wear niqabs still wear makeup?

The ones who want to, yes. Google "niqab makeup" and you'll see some examples.

Why do girls put on makeup before they go to the club? Why do girls wear makeup before they go on a date?

Do women who wear makeup stop wearing it when they've attracted a partner? No? Then they're not doing it just to attract people.

autopornbot · 2014-12-27T08:52:23+00:00

Same reason some douchebags stand in front of the mirror at the gym and watch themselves do curls.

MissPearl · 2014-12-27T11:44:18+00:00

It helps control my twinges of social anxiety, by letting me paint on a war face. I typically agonize the most where there is all women and no men.

For example right now I am in a shitty (albeit temporary) environment where I want to signal "fuck off, I'm professional". This use of makeup is not to seem more sexy, but to seem less human and harder edged.

If I'm off to the in-laws, out comes the makeup. Time for " good daughter" face. Approachable.

LARPing? Paint my face for the character, so time to white out my complexion. I changed up heavy blush for deliberately pale when the character became undead.

And when I'm getting weirdly creative, that's all for me.

give_me_shinies · 2014-12-27T09:17:28+00:00

Do girls that wear niqabs still wear makeup?

Oh yes.

No niqabs but in some countries where women cover everything sans face and hands, there's a trend of abayas with slits to show off the colourful skirts/traditional dresses women wear underneath. And they can get very creative with headscarves (colours, styles, fabrics, etc) and shoes.

Why do some girls cut/dye their hair, get tattoos, piercings, etc when such things aren't considered attractive to men? Why do they obsess over shoes, handbags and other shit men don't even notice? It's about looking good, which is conducive to feeling good, because a lot of female self-esteem is tied to being attractive. It's not necessarily about attracting men.

If its all about dudes, why do married women wear make-up when they go out? Why do women wear make-up in all-female settings?

Of course it's not totally black and white, but can anyone deny that the main reason women wear makeup is to make themselves more attractive?

No, of course it's mostly about being more attractive. Who argues otherwise? I usually hear women arguing that it's not always about men, I've never heard anyone seriously arguing its not about looking better. Yes, they wear it "for themselves" because looking better usually makes them feel good about themselves. Again, attractiveness is good for self-esteem.

trpthrowawaytrp · 2014-12-27T15:14:39+00:00

More to the point why is learning pick-up such a taboo but wearing make up isn't? Pick-up is actually far less superficial as well

Bakerofpie · 2014-12-27T17:58:26+00:00

I look like a pile of dog poo 90% of the time when I'm not going to be around my husband. I feel good about myself when he thinks I'm pretty. I also look nice when I go to see my family because they are always talking about how glamorous I am and how beautiful, and if I showed up without my makeup and hair done I would feel like a fraud and like I'm disappointing them. I know that isn't really true, but I've been known as the pretty one and it feels like part of my identity now when it comes to seeing family. When I was single I actually did do my hair and makeup when I was going to be by myself all day, but if I did a good job I usually got photographic evidence, so I hardly think that counts as doing it solely for myself.

pyr666 · 2014-12-28T23:31:32+00:00

is the concept of self-image really so alien?

Tilting_Gambit · 2014-12-30T06:35:00+00:00

Fashion has developed to attract opposite mates. This is why women wear high heels, figure hugging dresses, push up bras and makeup.

Women only know that these things are fashionable and give no consideration as to why they're fashionable. This is why they get mad when you look at their boobs when they're wearing a push up bra and low cut top. They're so disconnected that they genuinely believe they're wearing that outfit for themselves. They don't realise that these things became fashionable because it would cause men to look at them. They are drawing attention to attributes men like but are utterly convinced that this is not the case.

The reality is: Women do not know why they're wearing short skirts, makeup and push up bras, but the reason is that fashion has developed to attract the opposite sex.

whaaaaaaatever · 2015-01-22T18:54:46+00:00

Wear it at home bc I'm bored and trying new techniques out at home or when I'm cleaning just to see how the makeup fares in heat of the body, sweat and various activities. I rarely go out in makeup since makeup will melt, shift, oxidize, get oily, etc. It should be something that's fun to do for short period of time in the day but it's expected of all women to do and it's not supposed to be.

BlueboyPill · 2014-12-27T09:14:31+00:00

It's a bit of both really. Wearing a suit for a job interview or dressing up for a special occasion is because society wants us to look the best we can and to give ourselves confidence. However I certainly wouldn't wear a suit at home or to go to bed.

If girls put on makeup just to improve their overall confidence, do girls put on makeup when they stay home all day?

If ever you have lived with a woman who takes care of herself you may also learn that wearing makeup 24 hours a day isn't advisable even if she buys the best brands.

[deleted] · 2014-12-27T10:09:46+00:00

I don't think women put makeup on consciously for men. But since we're shaped by evolution and we must make ourselves attractive to mates, the desire to look more attractive is probably a result of that :) It's not just makeup for women, it's our desire to wear good clothes, be fit and look hot in other ways.

Although clothes and makeup are also about fitting in, and social status.

sh1v · 2014-12-27T07:29:55+00:00

Women crave male attention, but are scared of being slut shamed by other women, so they hamster it as a fun thing they do for "yourself", having nothing to do with men.

Probably, for a lot of young girls and shit they throw on make up for fun, but by the time you're an adult and enjoying the night life, to continue to feign ignorance is just disingenuous. You may tell yourself you're doing it for "fun" or to "be confident", but what is the source of that fun/confidence? Being checked out. Being seen as attractive. Being looked at favorably.

relationshipdownvote · 2014-12-27T07:11:05+00:00

I'm not understanding what it means to put on makeup for "yourself."

It's bullshit. A woman will say she's put this makeup on for herself in the caption of her instagram selfie while she prays for likes.

CrackheadHamster · 2014-12-27T07:26:48+00:00

The whole "I dress up for myself" thing is probably the biggest hamster I've ever seen. While it might be true that looking pretty makes women feel better, the fact that they miss the forest for the trees - that the reason they feel better looking pretty is solely because it makes them more attractive to men, or at least in more attractive to men in comparison to other women(in a social situations without males) - is an excellent example of just how ignorant women can be about their own evolutionary psychology.

bunnylicious · 2014-12-27T09:21:26+00:00

I think what girls mean when they say that is "I'm not wearing makeup for a guy... I'm not letting a man control my appearance." It is hard to really be introspective and either figure out or admit why you do something for a normal blue pill person. I like to think that is what being red pill is all about... Constantly working on yourself and figuring out why you do what you do or think what you think and react to that. I actually think the whole makeup thing goes deeper than what anyone has already said. I think women are more self conscious around other women. Women are the ones that will be mean to another female because she didn't doll herself up before going out - in my experience, it is super rare for a man to be as negative. In our society, women try to tear each other down in order to one up each other - so sad and so blue pill. I like guys' more friendly approach where they tend to just almost instantly bond with each other just because they are guys /sigh.

tldr: women are subconsciously trying to one up each other by being hotter.

Title	If girls wear makeup only for themselves, why do girls typically put on makeup before they go out?
Author	98769876987698767
Upvotes	2
Comments	146
Date	December 27, 2014 6:18 AM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/2qigkf/if_girls_wear_makeup_only_for_themselves_why_do/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/if-girls-wear-makeup-only-for-themselves-why-do.283988 https://theredarchive.com/post/283988

Comments