This is pure speculation on my part, but I've always thought it's interesting when men will marry a woman who shows little interest in sex (low partner count and/or virgin, generally inexperienced) and then doesn't understand why she continues to show little interest in sex after marriage.
For the record, I am in no way casting judgement on virgins or people who wait for marriage for sex or who have low partner counts by choice or otherwise. I'm very good friends with a couple who waited for marriage to have sex and now they have a very happy, active sex life. They also communicate very well with each other and it was something they talked about extensively. But for every couple out there that knows how to communicate, there are dozens more who expect their partners to read their minds or make uneducated assumptions that prove problematic down the road.
Certainly there are exceptions to the rule. There are virginal women who end up demons in the sack, there are high-sex-drive women who lose interest later in life. But I've witnessed at least three or four relationships fall apart in my social circle of friends and acquaintances because a guy pursued a woman he saw as innocent and pure and then didn't understand why she didn't transform into his own personal pornstar upon dating him, or when they were turned off by his partner count.
I think it would help if we had a better system of sex and relationship education for teenagers. When I was in school, we had sex ed twice. Once in the first grade, where everyone just giggled and took nothing seriously, and again senior year in high school, when many of the kids had already started dating and having sex. There's nothing in the middle to give kids any kind of perspective on dating and the differences between individuals and preferences and expectations and whatnot, and a lot of us grow up basing our expectations of romcoms, which are just fantasies. Nothing ever seems to stress genuine compatibility, it's all about grand romantic gestures and one-liners and such. I think we should be teaching kids to not only be confident and upfront in our expectations, but to also respect the fact that other people will not always fit those expectations and that's okay, you just aren't compatible. Move on. The idea that someone can change someone else is only going to end in heartbreak and frustration.
Thoughts?
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