696,979 posts

How to not be a bitch: 2019 edition

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November 27, 2019
1760 upvotes

As I was lifting a ten thousand pound dumbbell high above my head while two sultry blondes licked at my nutsack, I noticed the guy next to me was a bitch! Here he was, at the gym, which is an inherently not bitchy place even if sometimes some retardedly hot piece and her friend start babbling. And, yet, this man was a bitch all the same. He cowered at the sight of masculine men, and women, well, they may as well have been Medusa for how much he avoided looking at them. This couldn't do at all!

My dear boy, I said to him. I am going to help. I am the Ghost of Getting Ass, and I have taken pity on you! Come! We must debitchify you!

The man seemed uncertain as to whether or not he should get onto the motorcycle, so, to aid him, I punched him in the face.

What did you do that for, the man said.

I wagged an alpha finger at him.

Don't be uncertain! Uncertainty is the move of women and bitch men. Asses your options, and then do what springs to mind immediately.

The man struggled to get a proper foothold on the bike, and he immediately crashed into a light post.

Don't you know how to ride a bike?

The man shook his head pathetically. I gave him my hand and put him back on the bike, teaching him how.

Learn Skills and do exciting things! Women are attracted to skill and being good at something exciting and dangerous gets women wetter than ten thousand roses ever could. Women are extremely boring, and you are the exciting instrument that they secretly want to blow.

The man and I rode our motorcycles to some dive bar and began to drink with the other men. The man, now surrounded by pure uncut masculinity, began to loosen up.

She has titties as big as satellite dishes! One man said. And the bar laughed. I turned to the man again.

Become immersed in masculinity. Once you are surrounded by something you become more comfortable. Like diving into a pool. Once the waters of masculinity become a Haven for you, your adventures with women will become easier.

The man and I left the bar. Time to score some ass!

I saw some Latina bitch with a fine ass walking by and went over and alphaed her until her panties got wet, of course. The man stood behind me, looking at women. He was strutting his chest out and holding his head high.

I stopped talking to the Latina.

What the fuck are you doing, faggot?

I'm being alpha, the man replied, I read a post about alpha body language and i-

I punched his flabby jaw.

Stop it.

You can act as alpha as you want, but beautiful women need to be approached. They have incredibly low self-esteem and are insecure. They could not handle it if you rejected them. And so they don't apporach. They are a lot like most of you, a bitch, afraid of even the slightest bit of bumps in the road.

The man finnaly grew a big set of balls, and went up and talked to a woman.

H-hi...

Dear God what is he doing, but then I remembered patience. Not so long ago I was a beta faggot who wouldn't know what to do with a pussy if it was gift wrapped and sent to my door.

I-i thought you were cute and I wanted to say hi.

I have a boyfriend, the bitch replies.

Oh, I'm sorry, ok bye.

The man walks away.

I grab him by the arm. Hey, that was pretty shite but at least now you know one thing.

Rejection is better than regret.

The night is over, and the man goes to his 9-5. I follow along, floating beside him like the alpha Spectre that I am. He slacks off at his job, and constantly shoots glances at Karen, the funky bitch with the back tattoo in HR. As he goes to the urinal for his procrastination piss, I give him a solid jab to the ear.

Hey retard.

Money is more important than women. Start paying more attention to your bank account and less towards whores.

The man is done and drives home, listening to some classic rock garbage that every department store plays to brainwash you into buying heaters.

Are you going to the gym now, you haven't gone today, I say to him.

He shakes his head.

I, uh, went yesterday and besides I think I'm gonna switch to calisthenics, it's a more-

I spit in his eye

The gym is your church, and if you are a good Christian man you don't just go on Sundays. You go to every pot luck, every meeting, and keep your body strong.

After lifting weights, the man begins to play videogames with his online friends. After about an hour I relieve myself on his XBONE or whatever the fuck.

Hey what the hell man, he shouts. Dont piss on my stuff!

I piss on his shoes now.

Listen faggot!

Video games aren't a skill and if you play it for longer than an hour you are atrophying away. Their is a world full of fresh pussy waiting to be dined upon, and we, the last alphas in this bluepill dystopia, must endeavor to dine on it.

The man now sits mindlessly on his phone.

Don't you have any hobbies, I ask.

The man says yes, but upon closer inspection it appears his hobby is smoking weed and jacking off.

I look over to his closet.

Boxing gloves, a parachute, dancing shoes, a fencing sword or whatever the fuck it's called.

I then realize his problem.

Find hobbies and stick to them. Nothing ever comes easy at first, but you risk becoming a boring and retarded loser if you don't do anything.

The man is now finally looking good and approaches a woman the right way for the first time.

I don't usally do this she says

I don't believe he responds suavely.

I'd tell you how to approach a woman the right way, but their are over 100 posts about it. Here's what you should remember.

Take risks with women, as my uncle Vasily says, faint heart never fucked fair lady.

Finally, the man is back at his room with a woman. As he fucks, I hover over him giving him the thumbs up ocassionly. Felt like highschool running trains again.

A final rule.

Betas fuck like in movies. If ur alpha u go for the kidneys with every pump, grabbing a handful of neck while you do so.

The man nuts all over the girls face.

He turns to me.

But Visible, I feel so empty. Did I do all this work for this momentary satisfaction.

No. Go look in the mirror.

And their, he sees himself, a healthy, strong, masculine man, who is happy with his life.

And finally he understands.

The Redpill isn't about women, it's about you. And making you a better version if yourself. Women are a secondary thing. You, are what is important. And as you improve, you shall become happier.

And with that, I fly off to teach some new beta how to be alpha.


Post Information
Title How to not be a bitch: 2019 edition
Author VisiblePlan
Upvotes 1760
Comments 105
Date 27 November 2019 07:34 PM UTC (9 months ago)
Subreddit TheRedPill
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/296863
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/e2ldfq/how_to_not_be_a_bitch_2019_edition/
Similar Posts

Red Pill terms found in post:
ghostingalphabetaliftthe red pillthe blue pill
Comments

[–]BramRhodesDouglas370 points371 points  (3 children) | Copy

Lmao Ghost of Getting Ass

Charles DICKens is smiling rn

[–]danielle233987 points88 points  (1 child) | Copy

Now, looking forward to "A tale of Two titties"

[–]RightHandWolf12 points13 points  (0 children) | Copy

Go to a strip club. They always have a copy of A Sale of Two Titties.

[–]LudereVincere241 points242 points  (3 children) | Copy

This type of writing I find piercingly effective at conveying the redpill to beginners like myself. Salute to you

[–]Avicythe30 points31 points  (0 children) | Copy

absolutely agree. this is some of the best, fresh and fun writing i've seen in weeks

[–]Korrangar2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Kinda like Zarathoustra

[–]AceMav2181 points82 points  (11 children) | Copy

Was he on a Ninja 250? How could he keep up with the Spirit of Chad on his ZX14RR

[–]VisiblePlan[S] 65 points66 points  (4 children) | Copy

I can, but that's because I'm on level 9000 of NoFap.

[–]tranquil_af1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

What is your take regarding NoFap?

[–]VisiblePlan[S] 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Do it, but don't be obsessive. Don't jerk off every day.

[–][deleted]  (5 children) | Copy

[removed]

[–]Balderdash79-1 points0 points  (3 children) | Copy

And then my R1 teabags you.

[–][deleted]  (2 children) | Copy

[removed]

[–]Balderdash79-3 points-2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Yes.

Light to light, R1 ftw.

[–]Sake9976 points77 points  (4 children) | Copy

faint heart never fucked a fair lady....

This hit home.... I live in a Muslim country and the shit is twice tougher.

[–]Self_Descr_Huguenot37 points38 points  (3 children) | Copy

Might be tough when it comes to havin’ plates, but hey at least with being a presumably traditionalist society, bitches know their place a little more, if they mouth off to ya’ you can give em a good whack across the mouth, your communities shame them for bein’ whores, etc.

Makes me think of this interview with Sean Connery as you’re lucky in that you can assert your masculinity without being as shamed as we are in the West:

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=oo0d1zTAFKA

[–]Yumeito20 points21 points  (2 children) | Copy

You can't really slap a women like that here but yes women know their place and don't act like whores.

[–]dilf314-1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy

“women know their place and don’t act like whores”... wow... you are a terrible, sexist person

[–]northwest_iron135 points136 points  (3 children) | Copy

Great write up. The style is very reminiscent of the Book of Pook.

[–]Greaterbird33 points34 points  (2 children) | Copy

My thoughts too. This guy definitely read Pooks stuff.

[–]DonBullDor13 points14 points  (1 child) | Copy

Maybe he is pook coming back from the dead

[–]Greaterbird0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Did he die?

[–]red_philosopher187 points188 points  (6 children) | Copy

This is a fucking great read.

[–]VisiblePlan[S] 68 points69 points  (5 children) | Copy

I appreciate that, thank you

[–]RightHandWolf15 points16 points  (0 children) | Copy

This would be hilarious if it was illustrated like an old school Marvel or DC comic book. The Adventures of Alphaman! Keeping a watchful, eternal vigilance from The Fortress of Attitude, Alphaman hears the distressed cries of the downtrodden beta masses . . .

[–]AnubissWarior1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Your masterpiece has since been removed, any chance of reposting or puting it up somewhere else? I could use it to remind myself to not be a cuck.

[–]VisiblePlan[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I'll post it on my profile

[–]FaP_corleone30 points31 points  (1 child) | Copy

Fuckin alpha as a mother fucker ! Reminds of Mark manson early stuff.

[–]lazydogg90 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

what early stuff? Can u send or post some?

[–]Smuggler-Tuek17 points18 points  (0 children) | Copy

Made my week dude. Brilliant.

[–]krayono37 points38 points  (0 children) | Copy

Rejection is better than regret

Golden words! Waiting for part 2.

[–]ScarletWhiteEmerald18 points19 points  (2 children) | Copy

Fuck, this would be a sweet movie. Hollywood would blue pill-ify it in real life, but it would still be awesome. I'm seeing it like a 6th sense sort of twist, where the alpha turns the loser into a fellow alpha before it's revealed at the end that the alpha was an apparition all along.

[–]HODL_monk5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

The first rule of fuck club is, always approach. The second rule of fuck club is, see rule #1...

[–]TheFlyingPro13 points14 points  (0 children) | Copy

Pook wants his style back! Nice read anyway

[–]z-man201710 points11 points  (1 child) | Copy

this is like brosciencelife but for getting pussy, i love it 😆😆

[–]NikGrd0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

100%

[–]EuropeanAmerican4207 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

This writing style sucks my fat alpha cock

[–]Z3roCool0076 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

Great read man, This is fucking hilarious.

[–]I_Am_Sporktacus6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

This must be the most absurdly wholesome thing I've read on TRP. And fucking hilarious. Well done.

[–]KarmaKill2316 points17 points  (0 children) | Copy

Saving this one, Great Post.

[–]Keith_Valentine5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Awesome thread bro. Funny and made solid points. Well executed. Ghost of Getting Ass lol wtf

[–]athrowaway-90016 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

Fantastic portrayal of some key redpill points to easier feed to those just now coming to TRP.

Sadly, a majority of the posts could be cutdown if they actually read the material or went out and actually made all the theoretical stuff put into practice.

[–][deleted]  (1 child) | Copy

[deleted]

[–]Dimenzije903 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Although you are right i have to say that it still doesnt have to affect you. You dont wanna be an edgy pussy slayer thats fine. But everyone is different . Look at Pook's, Rollo's and AMS's type of writting/talking. They are very different but at the end they are good at what they are doing and it gave them their best version of themselves.

[–]Morelifetho18 points19 points  (0 children) | Copy

This is fucking amazing, do another one lmao

[–]Lid124783 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Great post, sounds like a cartoon comedy skit

[–]kalumeiya4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

If some news agency gets a hold of this they could publish an article about how we’re fucking crazy.

[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

As he fucks, I hover over him giving him the thumbs up ocassionly

Are you my spirit animal? :)

[–]SwoleBenji2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

If you aren't monetizing your vidya you're doing it wrong.

[–]JurJur2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Haha this the kind of material I’m looking for! U got good English abilities. I see a writer in the making

[–]teka72 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

couldnt agree more

and i want to add: alpha isnt, alpha is what you do

[–]akq02 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

"Who iiissssssssssssss this guy?"

Book of Pook science all over. Shit. This is like a drug. I need another dose soon.

[–]Dimenzije902 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I wrote something similar to this a week ago and it got deleted... Wtf mods? Where is my validation??

[–]Im_sleep_2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Ah yes another circle-jerk post shitting on video games or gamers. How ignorant can the redpill be or how full of themselves are they who knows.

[–]1Zanford6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

And the you wrote on his sweater

NOW I HAVE THE RED PILL

HO HO HO

[–]Sad_Sleeper1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Good stuff, i was listening to Tom Lykis about changing yourself and getting better.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BARCTySXdnY

[–]albino_red_head1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Excellent writing. Well done.

[–]toxicmaleitis1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Thats an alpha fucking post!

[–]Rob3456781 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Post saved..what a great post!

[–]EmptyMyBalls931 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Fuck, this is some of the best reading I've ever made - inside and outside of TheRedPill.
'Rejection is better than regret' - this realisation is what has helped med most in life and with women the past two years.

Thanks!

[–]jrkoff10131 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Wow, I was not expecting to read this entire thing. Amazing

[–]Destiny8663 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

This post made me so alpha I cucked my own girlfriend, with myself

[–]yoshale5 points6 points  (2 children) | Copy

This might be the stupidest shit I’ve ever read

[–]Dimenzije905 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Oh really? Well i think that this is way more better than those wannabe scientists who post their research about women here instead actually going out in the world and enjoying those girls.

[–]BlueCommieSpehsFish3 points4 points  (4 children) | Copy

What the fuck is this fanfiction shit. You spent this much time writing this fanfiction?

[–]badabing654-5 points-4 points  (3 children) | Copy

This writing style is cringe af, the points are good but Damn just write normally

[–]BlueCommieSpehsFish3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

Yeah imagine writing this fanfiction level porno story shit and spending actual time and effort on that and thinking you’re alpha while doing so.

[–]Sweetdreams181 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

It‘d be so cool to know who really op is irl

[–]MhmDrza1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Oh man this is funny. Well done.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

This is an amazing post, congrats OP.

[–]Quo2101 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Well, that was really good writing. This gets the message across better than most things

[–]AfricanMonkeyGod1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

How not to be a bitch:2019 edition

Don't use reddit to brag about something you dont have or get.

Real men that get real pussy don't take to the internet to share their success stories.

You come across as extremely insecure with a plethora of mommy issues.

[–][deleted]  (1 child) | Copy

[deleted]

[–]VisiblePlan[S] 18 points19 points  (0 children) | Copy

Go to a bar, just talk to older guys. Older dudes are fucking hillarious. The other day this guy I met at the store spent like thirty minutes going off on his stay at home son who's 27 with no future. Shit was fucking hillarious.

[–]Red_Pill_Brotherhood0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Cheers! Epic post. We need more like this on here.

[–]Timdeuces0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I was waiting for the moment when it pivots into saying that you don't need to lift 10,000 lbs and have babes in your arms to be fulfilled in life

[–]Ougge0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Top notch read, very enjoyable. Stay strong

[–]0ctaviusRex0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Best thing I‘ve read in over a year

[–]bharath_cr70 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Holy fucking shit , that's what I said when I read " Did I do all this work for this momentary satisfaction".

[–]RPOpenUp0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Great job on reminding us on some gems with context again.

Also. Why you hatin' on Calisthenics brutha

[–]MasterpieceHH0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

We're sidebarring this right?

[–]CAPIreland0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

This may be one of the funniest, best posts on this site. Amazing.

[–]Electro_Cut0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

It's actually helpful advice. Sure there's borderline stuff but well, can't deny facts.

[–]FightForYourWay0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

this was hard to read because it feels like plagiarized pook

[–]SoaringEagle11_110 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

This should be directly linked at the sidebar.

[–]AVN_RL0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I agree with the post but the way you wrote just made you seem like a fuckwit

[–]andreas-mgtow-2 points-1 points  (0 children) | Copy

My dear boy... I am going to help. I am the Ghost of Getting Ass...

Hilarious post, but no way this didn't sound fucking gay at the gymn.

[–][deleted]  (12 children) | Copy

[removed]

[–]VisiblePlan[S] 23 points24 points  (4 children) | Copy

A real man does as he pleases.

[–]El-Bard11 points12 points  (6 children) | Copy

He's not trying to be direct and straight to the point though. He's using hyperbole and emotive language to make us really understand the point he's making. This is all sidebar material nothing new, he's just helping us get a better understanding of it. Tbh its basic persuasive writing, I think he did a great job.

[–][deleted] -6 points-5 points  (5 children) | Copy

Ffs this sub reddit is fucked.I really just had a soyboy who watches midget porn and plays dnd tell me I got out alpha'd.And I fucking know he is not trying to be direct and straight to the point you fucking brainlet.Im saying a real man would be direct and straight to the point.If ops post didn't make you a utomatically cringe and turn your brain off and you thought that it was effective and motivational then your a sensationalist little boy who still get excited by marvel superheroes.And "a real man does what he pleases" is the dumbest thing I have ever heard.Yeah because if a man wants to watch porn,jack off, eat junk,play video games, and not work well I spose he is a real man isn't he.Real men are degenerate hedonist aren't they.Fucking brainless cunts.

[–]modTheRedPike[M] 6 points7 points  (4 children) | Copy

I've got like a turkey to wrangle into some brine. I was stupid and got my edlest drunk and now he's trying to put up a tree. Someone made cookies but one of them got ground into the floor and no one can explain why. Holidays and family. I take a two minute break just to chill and I see this shit in my inbox.

WTF

I haven't read it , but I'm pretty sure the top post is going to be a bloodbath. And where are all you dipshits coming from? You don't like it? Then fucking post something better.

And maybe drink less?

[–]VisiblePlan[S] 6 points7 points  (2 children) | Copy

They don't even hate the message, they just hate the prose, which seems to be the thing new users complain about most.

[–]RightHandWolf4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

I thought your writing was spot on - but then I kind of like things a little over the top and theatrical, since that tends to cut through the clutter.

The scholarly, academic posts have information, but some people can find that style kind of off-putting. There is no one right way of presenting these concepts.

[–]Endorsed ContributorSKRedPill4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

I am a guy who likes to write long and I say this post is legend. Absolutely one of the funniest ever, just like that how not to implement mrp comment. Relieving yourself over the xbone, ha ha ha...

[–]I_Am_Sporktacus1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

This was almost as good as the OP.



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