Q4W. Would you feel like you are losing if you had good sex and the man wants only casual?

Dora_Bowl · 2019-12-09T16:30:41+00:00

If I wanted a relationship with the person yes, if not then no.

Texastentialism · 2019-12-09T16:39:46+00:00

If I liked him and the sex was good I would probably want to pursue a relationship with him. If he made it clear he didn't want a relationship then I wouldn't continue having sex with him. I don't think I'd regret having sex with him once, but if I continued having sex with him my feelings would probably get hurt eventually so I'd rather just cut it off after the one time.

CatchPhraze · 2019-12-09T16:30:55+00:00

Od never have sex before that conversation to start with. I can give myself an orgasm, I want partnership from a man.

Orange_Paisley · 2019-12-09T16:47:24+00:00

It depends on if I am crushing on the guy. If I’ve caught feelings and he hasn’t, no amount of orgasms would make me put myself through that.

ontherailstoday · 2019-12-09T16:55:35+00:00

I'm not into casual.

It isn't a situation that has ever happened to me.

I think I['d regret all the trying to get to know him and trying to be appealing more than I'd regret the sex. If ever I decided to do casual it would be very impersonal... I'd have a FWB, call him up when I wanted sex and if he wasn't available then and there well it wouldn't happen at all or I'd call the next guy. And he'd have to leave immediately after. There would be no dating and hanging out and getting me in the mood, no cups of coffee or meals or netflix or listening to him complain about his family or his hjob. I may not even brush my hair or make my bed before he showed up. I'd not bother to make the effort to do any acts I felt not entirely like doing, and I'd expect my preferences to be catered to. I mean why would I put anything at all of my self ,my time, my resources into getting dicked unless there's a relationship?

azngirl7689 · 2019-12-09T19:09:58+00:00

This is why I don’t fuck before commitment. It saves me from unnecessary dilemmas like this.

philomexa · 2019-12-09T17:09:08+00:00

I'm not into casual, so I'd never be in this situation. I like sex, but only as an extension of a serious monogamous relationships. No commitment? no sex.

If I'm getting on with a dude but he says he wants to take it slow or he's not interested in anything serious, well, bye. Time is short and I don't want to waste it on half measures and fuck bois.

In college I briefly flirted with a guy like that, but as soon as he started with the wishy washy shit I shut it down. If a guy is not crazy about me wants to be with me then he's not worth any of my sexual energy.

2019-12-09T20:46:30+00:00

yeah i'd be fine with that? i tend to sort guys into potential boyfriends or just fucks rather quickly, i dont really fall for guys because the sex is just so good or whatever lol.

in my experience, its guys who want more because of our "sexual connection" moreso than me

arizona204 · 2019-12-10T06:46:39+00:00

Why do guys feel like they are losing out if they had a good time with a girl and she only wants to be friends? Why is the great time they spent together somehow mean less if it doesnt lead to them getting laid?

Why would they rather not spend any more platonic time with them despite having a fun time?

crookedsummer2019 · 2019-12-09T17:05:16+00:00

If I was single and he was upfront like that about it not being anything more than sex, and the sex was good. Yeah probably I’d go for FWB but keep my options open and only interact with him for sex and no dating or anything else that would be seen as progressing to a relationship. I would do this to try not to catch feelings but if that happened I would end it ASAP. Nothing good comes from being hung up over unavailable men.

I mean, the good sex part would be worth it for as long as it lasted lol. I would not feel I was losing in that regard.

Asbelowsoaboveme · 2019-12-09T17:39:21+00:00

It’s the definition of losing. Like another poster said, I can always give myself orgasms. Every time I’ve had “casual” sex it was in an attempt to start a relationship.

slavicgypsygirl · 2019-12-09T17:48:38+00:00

I date multiple people non exclusively who I sometimes also have sex with

Casual sex only interests me when I am travelling or in cities where no one knows me

Sex is a mutually beneficial pleasure exchange to me not a contest of win or lose

pngmafia97 · 2019-12-09T16:36:25+00:00

I have experienced the opposite situation quite frequently actually. Met a guy, had amazing mind blowing sex, let him know I’m only interested in casual. Down to go on dates, even care deeply about each other, but not looking to settle down. When guys say this to me, I express agreement and am happy with the outcome.

I am into casual sex and not feeling very monogamous recently.

goatismycopilot · 2019-12-09T17:06:51+00:00

No because I don't do casual so I am not losing. I did not have much experience with casual and all the "good" sex I had was in a relationship. I am fine cruising through life without I am not missing much.

flamingoinghome · 2019-12-09T18:32:42+00:00

Depends on the man--you aren't fungible!

I've had casual sex with a friend and it's been a positive experience. The guy in question and I are not remotely compatible as partners (he's a semi-poly hipster and never wants kids), but we like hanging out and we're attracted to each other, so if we're both single....why not? But if I actually wanted a relationship with the guy, or thought it would be more serious--I'd feel awful.

Jathrowaway97 · 2019-12-09T20:32:21+00:00

If he said this I wouldn’t have sex with him. If for some reason I did before confirming his intentions I would cut off contact and regret the fact that I had sex with him for a while.

Reisiluu · 2019-12-09T23:04:45+00:00

The only way I'm having sex is with a guy I'm in a relationship with. So him saying he wants it to be casual would be me getting dumped.

Having sex is not worth being dumped so I'd rather never have sex with that kind of guy.

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Title	Q4W. Would you feel like you are losing if you had good sex and the man wants only casual?
Author	rus9384
Upvotes	2
Comments	107
Date	December 9, 2019 4:28 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/e8c5t7/q4w_would_you_feel_like_you_are_losing_if_you_had/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/q4w-would-you-feel-like-you-are-losing-if-you-had.298494 https://theredarchive.com/post/298494

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