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Help. Just starting the MRP journey. Need advice.

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January 3, 2020
9 upvotes

Blue pill idiot here. Married 19 years, 3 kids, just joined the gym last month and going through MRP sidebar. Finished NMMNG, currently on WISNIFG. I'm looking for some guidance from you guys. I can't believe I'm just learning about RP/MRP and wish I had learned a long time ago. I'm your textbook example of what not to do and I'm just starting to unfuck myself. To make a long story short, I've let my wife control my decision making for the family. She like to argue and yell, I don't and I was never raised that way. I avoid confrontation to the point of agreeing with her in order to avoid a fight, but we all know how that turns out. She comes from a dysfunctional family where she doesn't talk to her sisters, and her mom (my mother in law) was a single mom. I should have seen the red flags. Wife is a total SJW, feminist, and found out I was looking at RP videos and listening to "offensive" ideas that are brainwashing me. In a way, I'm glad she learned, I was tired of hiding my path to figuring out why I've been struggling. Her M.O. is also the same in her professional and personal life, if you piss her off, she cuts you out of her life. Anyway, after years of slowly giving in to my wife's attitude, I'm starting to implement some of the MRP theories.

On NYE, I was getting some work done on the computer and I hear my wife yelling and screaming at the kids (it happens more often than not). I had to finish my project and when I was done went out to ask what happened. It turns out it all started because my wife asked the kids to wash the dishes and they started arguing about who had done what. Next thing you know she starts screaming at them and tells my oldest to clean the bathrooms. I figured here is my chance to speak up and start implementing some of the things I've learned and let her know the screaming is not an acceptable reaction to the kids. I agreed they needed to help but then she started escalating, and getting mad. Next thing you -know she starts going off on me, this time I didn't back down, but it ruined the rest of NYE at my neighbors house. If her eyes could kill, I'd be dead. I'm glad I let her know how i felt, even if she got pissed.

I've laid low, doing chores around the house, making brkfst, putting away all the holiday decorations, etc. this morning I get a long txt about telling me I was wrong. (don't know how to link images for you to read) here are some highlights - I should have supported her & talked to the kids - I took my aggression out on her - Was "rude, disrespectful, aggressive, self absorbed and insensitive" like watching an ape pound his chest saying "i'm master of this jungle look at me in all my glory", it was uncalled for and pathetic. - "You don't have your wife's respect because you behave like an effeminate man" You're so self absorbed in your music, your Youtube channels, your video games, etc. you need to pray. so that God can help you understand that your principle responsibility is to protect your children and wife over all things. Every waking hour is there for you to sacrifice yourself for the well being of your family".

There's more but I'm looking for any thoughts or suggestions. I work my ass off to help provide for my family, picking up any OT I can get my hands on, she also works full time; Old beta wants to apologize and say sorry, but I'm ready to call her out on her bullshit and do something fun with my kids/hit the gym instead of putting up with BS. Thanks in advance for this community.


Post Information
Title Help. Just starting the MRP journey. Need advice.
Author joetrader626
Upvotes 9
Comments 48
Date 03 January 2020 08:39 PM UTC (9 months ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/306342
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/ejldin/help_just_starting_the_mrp_journey_need_advice/
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Red Pill terms found in post:
single motherWISNIFGbetaliftthe blue pillsocial justice warriorfeministNMMNG
Comments

[–]MrChad_ThundercockBig Red Machine13 points14 points  (7 children) | Copy

Shotgun of Feelz at you. Ignore that shit. You aren’t in a position to set a boundary yet- betas don’t get to call the shots.

You may be providing money and comfort, but you aren’t giving her any Feelz.

She’s not attracted to you.

She fucking resents you. She thought she was getting Chad when she married you, but got a faggot blue pill beta whom she has to babysit while he plays video games.

Get to work. ===>

You’re not special faggot.

[–]HeckleandChide6 points7 points  (4 children) | Copy

She didn’t think she was getting Chad. I’m gonna guess they married after she was “tired” of the CC and knew exactly what she wanted - a provider.

OP has a long road ahead.

[–]MrChad_ThundercockBig Red Machine1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

Right .. and she’s bored as fuck.

She needs a good dicking from a Chad though.

OP took second in command for 19 years -forcing her to be in charge and lead the family. He does have a long road ahead.

[–]JoeBuckYourslf1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

19 years... imagine 19 years of that shit.

[–]part_wolf2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

My imagination gets me to about a decade before I start to fantasize about jumping off a bridge.

[–]joetrader626[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Thanks for the responses. Some of the comments are painful to hear but they feel like a nice cold splash of reality. When I met my wife, I thought you could get women by showing how sensitive a man could be, she was getting close to 30 and probably done riding the carousel. Thanks for the help and taking time to listen.

[–]Octellius0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I'm only a few months ahead of you in some ways, maybe further ahead in others. Don't be in a rush to alpha up in a month. That was my mistake. You are going to need to lift for months. Learn about the 1000 foot rope. Just read, and make the gym like a religion. Nothing causes me to miss a workout.

Keep an eye on how your wife reacts, it's not the goal but a good litmus test. Mine has started buying me big jars of Nutella and offers me chocolate daily. They just sit there in the pantry. I see that she has taken notice of my recent cutting diet. :)

My advice : Drop the gaming\PC time for a while. Not x months. Just stop. You can come back to it in 3-6-12 months or whenever. No worse for wear. You have things to do. A mission to plan. An exit plan to formulate. A MAP to design and work on. Lots of details and lots of reading. Get comfortable with the idea of living alone and everything needed to get you there. Lift. Work on yourself before you decide to take over control. You have no credibility right now.

[–]wkndatbernardus6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

Not sure how her angry text to you is relevant. Ignore and keep moving towards your mission. What's that? You don't have a mission outside of the one in Call of Duty? Shocking.

Remember; she only has power over you if you let her.

[–]part_wolf9 points10 points  (3 children) | Copy

“You don’t have your wife’s respect because you behave like an effeminate man.”

I mean, is she wrong?

[–]mrpmonk2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

She knows what's up

[–]HornsOfApathyMod / Red Beret2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

At least she is honest.

[–]part_wolf2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Except OP is actually listening to the other 95% of what she says that’s irrelevant.

[–]Perfectinmyeyes4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Summary: Her... You... I do this and she does that... Help me.

You do you and everything else is information.

There is no her, there is only you. She is a reflection, what will stare back at that reflexion?

[–]justpickanyusernameRed Beret4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

Set some boundaries offline with her first. I agree that correcting and reprimanding her shouldn’t typically happen in front of the kids. Yes, you are the final word in the home, but you can’t cut off the hands of your first officer by usurping her authority when she disciplines while you are away. Exception being if/when she steps out of line in front of the kids she will be exposing herself to being corrected in front of them. As long as these are clear you really shouldn’t have a ton of pushback when you do step in. You are on the same team.

I had similar issues early on with the wife losing her shit with the kids. The first time I held my ground I received a text with a lot of similarities to yours. It is a boundary that hasn’t been crossed since though. I also step in before it ever gets to that point as well.

For example, about an hour ago my wife and 14 year old daughter were arguing about something. My wife was right, but kept engaging with every retort and plea my 14 year old made to try and manipulate the situation into the daughter’s favor. In the past, this would likely escalate further and further verbally until a potential explosion. I just walked up between my 14 year old and my wife and told my wife to stop engaging in the argument. She had already stated her position, which I agreed with, and anything beyond that was beating a dead horse and allowing my 14 year to continue engaging. My wife stepped away without incident and the situation was diffused.

This, however, wasn’t our first rodeo with this type of event in the last few years and how I have handled them since MRP. As far as the shit storm you are encountering right now? I will say it will get worse before it gets better. If you start owning your shit and establishing frame she will likely eventually concede the reins. That will only happen if you are worthy of them to begin with. That’s where the sidebar comes in. Read WISINIFG and practice those techniques.

[–]joetrader626[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Thank you.

[–]ChokingDownRPRed Beret2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Holy fuck dude. Your wife essentially told you that you are a beta bitch (she stopped short of beta bux).

She literally told you to man the fuck up and lead your family. No wonder she's yelling at your kids, she's raising them herself while you work on your "projects" - YouTube, video games and other pointless shit. She's misdirecting her hostility towards you onto her kids. Man the fuck up faggot.

[–]skuttt2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

You Rambo’d it. You need to level up before you can set boundaries. Best thing you could have done was talk to the kids and make things fun again. Perhaps fun and jokes while you all do the dishes.

Demonstrate value until she climbs back on your boat, then you can set boundaries.

[–]screechhaterRed Beret3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

Keep reading.

It’s best to realize that “frame“ is your friend.

Try not to take over the world as soon as you get your dynamite.

[–]arm_candy4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

I figured here is my chance to speak up and start implementing some of the things I've learned and let her know the screaming is not an acceptable reaction to the kids.

Did you say this shit in front of the kids? If so, then yeah, you fucked up. She’s not going to take being corrected by you very well, but especially not if it’s in front of the kids.

In front of the kids your job is to be calm and in control. Be in control of yourself and to the extent possible, your kids. Don’t bother trying to be in control of your wife.

But yeah, I would literally ignore the text and pretend you never got it. If she brings it up again address her calmly and go broken record that screaming at the kids isn’t appropriate.

[–]cholomiteMod / BP Downvote Magnet3 points4 points  (3 children) | Copy

"You're cute when you're angry"

[–]Alpha_FucksFormerly DaddyChadThundercock0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

This gets them angry, but also horny if you are attractive. OP will end up sleeping on the couch, doing breakfast and cleaning dishes in the morning.

[–]cholomiteMod / BP Downvote Magnet2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

My gf used to threaten to put me on the couch and make me do things, then one day I told her, "yea well, I'm bigger and stronger than you, so good luck".

She didn't bring it up after that.

[–]mrpthrowa0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Somehow the feminist narrative totally normalised the ‘kick him off the bed’ narrative

I had to say this once always, never got brought up again

‘I am not the kind you can say that to’

[–]mrpmonk1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

You behave like an effeminate man

Sorry, how did you find MRP again? With such frame, I would not doubt she posted on redpill wives. Probably she left the laptop open for you on this sub so she leads you to grow a pair

[–]joetrader626[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Not the first time hearing its time to grow a pair of balls. It's like being the frog in boiling water, never realizing you're on slow death spiral. Thanks

[–]jdogworld1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Your wife resents you for being such a pussy which is why she says what she says and also lashes out at the kids. All related..all you.

[–]joetrader626[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Sweet lord, you're brutal. Thanks for the wake up call.

[–]sidepiecebandit1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I've laid low, doing chores around the house, making brkfst, putting away all the holiday decorations, etc. this morning I get a long txt about telling me I was wrong.

Mommy put you in your place.

[–]Big_Daddy_PDX1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Wow brother, you are so deep in her frame. At least you’ve figured that out.

I’ll give you my(48) perspective as a guy that recently divorced his Ex(52) after 20+yrs together. Your wife sounds like my Ex, but it’s you that is making your own life hell. Because you are so clueless and you are not even close to a high value man, you’ve got quite a few months in front of you before you’ll even have the tools to make a decent life decision. But I will share a Spoiler Alert: if you’re marriage has been this shitty for so long and your wife’s appearance is anything less than a swimsuit model, there’s very little way for you to remain remotely interested in her AFTER you’ve completed the work on yourself to be a real man. But you have to put in that work with HER before you can make that decision because she’s your nemesis. And you have to hone your skills against your nemesis before you can appreciate them.

[–]so_woke_da_wookie1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

A List of 3 Quick Things for You:

1). No need to worry about how to link pictures of your wife texts. No one wants to see that.

2). Think basic OPSEC on the above.

3). Look up the concept that Rollo talks about; Divorce your wife mentally.

[–]OptimusRP3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

SJW feminist? Damn this is going to be an uphill battle....

Nevertheless, there is no secret here. STFU, lift and sidebar. MRP fixes the man, not the marriage. The stay plan is the go plan. Commit or GTFO. Start posting in the OYS thread. Expect to be called a faggot. A lot.

[–]tspitsatgp6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

It makes no difference. Saying my wife is a SJW is in the same category as calling your wife crazy/what diagnoses. It’s bullshit, just a bullshit excuse used by OP to make up for his own shortcomings. Political, social, environmental, etc, beliefs — these things don’t over-ride the laws of attraction.

[–]DeadGreek2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy

I'm trying to reconcile "wife is a total SJW feminist" with wife texting you "pray so that God can help you understand that your principle [sic] responsibility is to protect your children and wife over all things."

[–]EasyDaysHardNights1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

"Stay out of her head" applies to both your wife's as well as OP's.

[–]DeadGreek0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I'm not analyzing his wife - I'm trying to figure out how good a read he has on her

[–]joetrader626[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I think it's "having my cake and eating it to" of modern feminism, I'm a strong independent woman and I dont need a man until I need a tire changed, or all our problems would be solved if we got rid of the patriarchy, etc..

[–]man_in_the_worldRed Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I figured here is my chance to speak up and start implementing some of the things I've learned and let her know the screaming is not an acceptable reaction to the kids. I agreed they needed to help but then she started escalating, and getting mad.

Fix your own interactions with her (stop operating in her frame; then develop your own frame) before trying to fix how she interacts with your kids and others. You don't yet have the frame to succeed; you can't even avoid DEERing.

In the meantime, tools from WISNIFG will help you. Read it. Now.

[–]coachdad80 points1 point  (6 children) | Copy

You're so self absorbed in your music, your Youtube channels, your video games, etc. you need to pray. so that God can help you understand that your principle responsibility is to protect your children and wife over all things.

You need a mission, a purpose. She's right on and all the dancing monkey MRP stuff isn't going to fix your marriage if you don't get a mission. Following RP rules might get you laid, she might respect you more, but you'll never reach the status of true Captain with an awesome Co-Captain until you figure this out.

You dont need more alpha, you dont need more lifting or more dread - those are bandaids & temporary fixes. You need a purpose that's so awesome and important you WANT to do those things to be the best man you can be in order to accomplish that mission.

[–]joetrader626[S] -1 points0 points  (5 children) | Copy

Thanks for the advice. I haven’t finished going through all the sidebar but any recommendations for finding my mission. I know it sounds like a dumb question, but I’d really like to know. I thought that being a good provider, helping with the chores, doing things with the kids is enough.

[–]vithus_inbau0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Mission is something that drives you forward and can never be completed in your lifetime. Don’t confuse it with goals.

That other stuff you listed is just the reponsibilities a man takes on and he does it without expecting rewards, kudos or validation.

[–]coachdad80 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Mission has to be something that is HUGE, helps people and adds value to your life and theirs. It cannot be about your wife and it has to be externally focused. It cant be about yourself or improving yourself because the right mission that helps people and changes your community will naturally make you improve for the better in order to better further the mission.

Example: John wants to help mentor young men in his community so he reaches out to the local sports league and becomes a youth sports coach. He becomes assistant coach for a couple years and gets to know the other coaches and tons of the local kids. Next season he coaches his own team and teaches them principles of masculinity, discipline, and success. In the offseason, he has them over once a week for "training" which is mental, physical and spiritual coaching. As these boys turn into men, they instinctively think of Coach as their 2nd dad and their mentor - the man who changed their lives.

Tom is a veteran who has a desire to stop child trafficking so he joins a nonprofit that rescues victims. The organization coordinates covert missions late at night and Tom is their driver who takes the rescued victims to a safe-house. While there, he is their watchman and protector until they can be moved to a permanent safe location. Because of his natural leadership ability, he moves up in the organization and starts to plan the logistics of the missions and expands the reach of the organization.

Finding your mission is challenging but if you focus energy on this task it should become clearer as the months go by. First step is to identify your talents and in what way you would like to help people. But you have to put in the time and stay focused and make it the priority.

Hope this helps!

[–]joetrader626[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Thank you. This is a great explanation.

[–]AlohaMaui8080 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

This guy doesn't know what he's talking about. And, you're too new to this to understand what your mission is yet. Worry about that later. Work your MAP for now.

[–]tap09885340 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Read. Read. Read. And lift and STFU. The first, easiest step is to eliminate omega behaviors. Omega behaviors are inactive entertainment like TV and video games, bitchy fits, and irresponsibility.

[–]joetrader626[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Thanks for the info

[–]tap09885340 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Also, while not formally considered omega behavior at Mrp, any sexual activity that involves payment or monetization is a giant display of low value. Strippers, cam girls, prostitutes, even free porn proudly proclaims that you are incapable of pulling real women without monetization, and are essentially a worthless male.

[–]psychoduckly0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Did you back up yur wife in re the chores or did you just go into lecture mode?

I would ask her if she is sacrificing everything every waking hour for the family; such as, being friendly to her husband at a party rather than staring daggers.

[–]ur-238-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Lift



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