Okay, I’ve been struggling with how, or even if, this fits in with MRP ... so I’m just going to ask and risk being called an Uber-fag. How does MRP celebrate Valentine’s Day, apart from playing hide-the-sausage? What are some activities that don’t scream I’m-a-needy-beta?
Update: I thought I'd post an update. I didn't want to do dinner because it's too big of a statement. So, I arranged lunch at a favourite restaurant instead. This morning I said "I'd like to take you to a mystery lunch." She immediately said yes, and so we went to lunch. Wife has been cool with me for a long time now, and the lunch was no different. Still polite and pleasant but there's no warmth. It started to get to me during the meal and towards the end I really wanted to ask her where our relationship was going. In the back of my mind I kept hearing STFU, STFU, STFU!
So that's what I did. I kept my mouth close, had a nice lunch and went back to work after lunch. I had some lingering bitterness over the situation, which I worked it out at the iron temple after work.
In the end I achieved what I wanted to do which was to say that I care without appeasement or neediness. Small steps. Thanks to everyone for their suggestions and guidance, especially u/Balls_Wellington_ u/part_wolf and u/ancient_resistance ... that thread really helped me sort out my head.