Some of these equity training sessions at work are unbearable.

For example, there is lots of "we need to hire more women so they don't feel forced to stay at home/have children". I don't disagree that we need to support women who are working, but this one new hire is so incompetent that I think she was hired to fill a "female" quota. And since I'm the only other woman on the team, I'm tasked with mentoring her. She's a very "woke" and blue pill person who just finished school and we don't get along... On top of that, she consistently misses meetings or gets lazy, then tries to shove her work on me.

Because of this, I spoke out about hiring on the basis of merit at our equity training session and got shot down hard. Shot down by other men, mostly, who claimed I wasn't a proper woman because "I'm not a feminist". And this new hire that I'm mentoring also told me that I should be more considerate, since I'm a woman myself. But I think we're very different; I was promoted from software engineer 1 to 2 within 8 months, and she is still struggling with basic tasks (things that our interns can do after 2-3 weeks of training!) after 3 months on the job. Later, two people getting mad at me when I accidentally called someone else "her" instead of "them" (I would never do that if they asked me to use "them", but it was our first meeting together!)... give me a break!

There are sooo many standards in the workplace that make me want to pull my hair out. Can anyone else relate? How do you deal with this kind of stuff without hurting feelings?