Summary: Since most people are self-centered, they care more about their own problems then they do about yours. Since we are acculturated towards pushing responsibility onto external factors instead of ourselves, we're likelier to believe that we can't fix our own problems, and thus likelier to shift the blame and complain about these supposed external factors. However, complaining does nothing to help any situation, and usually hinders progress, and you should thus attempt to check yourself before you start unloading your supposed problems on people around you.
Body: If there's something I've observed consistently with regards to myself and others, it's the fact that no one likes to be privy to complaining. We all have to listen to our Moms, our co-workers, our friends, and especially our women pander on about bullshit that, A: they cannot do anything about and thus should not constantly worry about (most people are not stoics, obviously, embracing such principles comes with time and practice). Or, B: Things that they themselves would have to put time and effort into in order for such things to cease or for stagnation to be cast away, things that, in either case, require autonomous action. If such a problem cannot be fixed with some level of planning and the execution of autonomous action, then it falls into the category of point A, rendering the value of worrying about it at near absolute zero, once again in accordance with the principle of stoicism as mentioned above.
Before I talk about what we ourselves ought to do, a discussion should be framed about why others who are not acquainted with our ideas enjoy pressing their woes upon the rest of humanity. Firstly, we live within the confines of a culture that largely minimizes the importance of personal responsibility with regards to the actions and consequences that result from them. We speak at length about how women almost never take responsibility for their actions, but this is an issue that affects both sexes (although the solipsism of women coupled with such an effect compounds the severity of the issue for females). I remember being told in school that bullying, the most egregious of issues according to administration, was not the fault of the victim nor the bully; it was the fault of the bystanders who did nothing to help. Think about that for a moment. The fault lies not on the person perpetrating the supposedly heinous action; the fault lies not on the person who cannot muster the courage to stand up for themselves and exercise the setting of boundaries and personal authority. No, according to the realm of adolescent academia, the fault lies on the people who literally have nothing to do with the situation. The ridiculousness is palpable and need not be expounded upon further. This is only one example, but as a community we understand this principle readily.
When personal responsibility has been degraded by academia, neuroscientists (such as in David Eagleman's Incognito), parents who don't like the way their children turned out, the standard social science model (IT'S ALL CULTURALLY CONSTRUCTED!!), and feminism, then it's really easy to find excuses for why you think your life is so shitty. Almost everything around you is subconsciously vying for you to pass off the responsibility to an external source. Because of this, people truly believe that their problems are not their fault. Why wouldn't they? If you believe you've been wronged, you want people to know about it. And, of course, this works doubly as a defense mechanism. One can lead a terrible life and believe they are still a worthy and amazing being as long as their terrible life isn't their fault.
There's another small thing at work here. Complaining simply feels good. You know how society or your fucking therapist tells you to just get it off your chest? Well, they do it because it legitimately feels good to vent. You're relieved when other people empathize, or even just listen and nod their heads. It's ironic that bringing attention to the very thing bothering you makes you feel better, but it does, and this is dangerous for that very reason. Once you feel better about the thing that's been bothering you simply by talking, you're less inclined to want to take actual action with regards to whatever is bothering you. You've let it out. Talking works wonders. If you have a problem in a relationship, then talk about it. This is the blue pill imperative. Built a mountain of words around an issue without solving it.
I'll return now to my initial point. Nobody likes to listen to people complain, except for situations where they themselves can offer a hand in solving a problem (slipping your buddy covert redpill advice, for example). However, a large majority of complaining is baseless, especially when it is being done by women (Clothes, food, their coworkers, money, we've all fucking heard it on a daily basis).
The question we need to ask ourselves is this: Do we want to act like women? Do we want to complain about baseless and mundane things? Do we want to complain about anything at all when we know most people are fundamentally only concerned with themselves and their own issues?
Of course we don't. When we complain to people we amplify the problem. We concern them with it while simultaneously appearing too weak to do anything about it. We very possibly lose the initiative to go out and fix things. But, more importantly, bitching and moaning puts a negative filter over our perception. People believe the lies they tell themselves simply because it is they who are doing the telling. You can't separate the you who acts from the you who speaks and perceives. Subconsciously your decisions are affected by your public demeanor, and this includes complaining.
Another thing: Nothing will dry a woman up as fast as a man appearing to not be in control. Complaining only makes you seem as if you don't have it all together, as if you're being dragged around by forces that you're allowing to seize control of your life and autonomy. Gird up they loins, act as a fucking man, and fix things that need to be fixed, whether they be about your career, health, or relationships. You don't always have to do so in silence, because nobody can live a life devoid of all negativity, but once you learn to do as such all the aforementioned will improve, both in reality and in your head.
LESSONS LEARNED *Listen to Dale Carnegie's advice and don't complain or condemn *Bitching about your problems makes you appear like you're not in control *Most people believe they are actually not in control, and thus complaining follows *As men, we strive to fix problems, not to amplify them, and we do this by taking autonomous, calculated actions instead of wasting our energy on words *Although complaining may make you feel better, you'll be less inclined to fix something once you've convinced yourself you feel better about it. Use your anxiety effectively to solve problems by suffering in silence.
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