Excuse my breast, I am finally ready to find a Simp to settle down with, FOREVER!

Pliyii · 2019-06-14T05:03:43+00:00

"""""""" SELF EMPLOYED """""""

""""""""" C. E. O. """"""""""

harharry · 2019-06-14T05:18:28+00:00

Who wants extra responsibilities and used pussy? Any takers? No?

Waaaaaah! Y’all are commitment phobic! Y’all need to be da rEaL MeN! Come on, step up to the plate and fulfill your duties!

Sure lady. Dream on.

Extra_Napkins · 2019-06-14T05:15:31+00:00

Busted ass titties.

keithrockz · 2019-06-14T05:34:56+00:00

Putting her cow udders on display on Tinder is probably not the best way to find "something real"...you'd think after 3 kids she would know that by now .

"Looking for something real"... She's going to get something "real"...it's called a pump and dump...the "forever"part...probably not...(unless she catches an std)...

"Not a size 0"= get ready to spend a lot of nights watching her strap on the feed bag at the local Golden Corral all you can eat buffet

JavascriptIsTerrible · 2019-06-14T07:17:21+00:00

"not a size 0"
Is this the latest way in fashion to say you're fat?

TexasMilitia · 2019-06-14T07:56:41+00:00

“Oh, oopsie I showed some boobies giggle ok sooo I’m like self employed, which really means I do some Scentsy stuff with my sister when we’re not high. I’ve got three precious angels who will always come before you so deal with it like a real man. I’m fat cuz I sit around smoking pot and watching Oprah and Dr Phil waiting to pick up my kids from the bus stop. I am sooo done being a booty call cum-dumpster so NO HOOK UPS. Serious DM’s only. Must be over 6’, NOT FAT, and make at least low six figures.

the deafening sound of crickets intensifies

JPBooBoo · 2019-06-14T05:35:05+00:00

I see "settle down with" and think, "OK, How many kids does she have?"

Then, when I read the bio, I'm still surprised.

fellate-o-fish · 2019-06-14T07:00:25+00:00

Single mom of 3

Not a size 0

quelle surprise

TheREexpert44 · 2019-06-14T07:05:14+00:00

If thats the most flattering pic she can come up with, im guessing the rest is just a total horror show

bastrdsnbroknthings · 2019-06-14T07:28:49+00:00

I live in Florida, and I can assure you, these women go to the beach once a year. They all say they love the beach, outdoors, roadtrips, etc. How often do you think you guys will be doing that with three kids around? Might go to the beach once every two years so she can Instagram it. Whatever they say they are into, they get into once a year. Reading? She read one book last year. Playing pool? You might go out one weekend during the entire relationship.

smfuel87 · 2019-06-14T09:14:59+00:00

Three kids..

Used up, beat to shit pussy.....

Floppy roll-up tits...

Extreme financial and emotional liability..

Yeah. Pass..

meerita · 2019-06-14T06:00:47+00:00

She looks like the worst deal ever.

coiluniverse · 2019-06-14T06:28:54+00:00

Who wants to line up so they can play with some bean bag titties? She has flapjacks as my brother calls them lol. It looks like Tyrone’s bastard children sucked all the air out of those titties when they were being breast fed 😂 Animal lover= has 9 pit bulls that shit everywhere.

bablfish · 2019-06-14T06:36:58+00:00

those tits don´t look like 27n to me....

Yanrogue · 2019-06-14T07:25:57+00:00

"Not a size 0" and only has a pic of her fat girl cleavage.

Take your bets on her being over or under 300.

SilverGryphon · 2019-06-14T07:41:24+00:00

The 3 kids are probably from different daddies

beatles-lover · 2019-06-14T07:46:35+00:00

Wow, her breasts are really unappealing.

But what's even more of a turn-off is the word "ready."

I would guess that a woman who uses that word in her profile typically has n>50 and often n>100.

ZarBandit · 2019-06-14T09:56:08+00:00

Wow, no face and no body pics, just some saggy tits. This one must be truly heinous.

Charmingaxelotl · 2019-06-14T08:25:57+00:00

Self employed...camwhore?

loneliness-inc · 2019-06-14T12:08:42+00:00

Pls don't waste my time if your intentions aren't in the right place.

I can only see what you present to me.

What you present here is cleavage in an attempt to look sexy.

Make saggy boobs perky again!

[deleted] · 2019-06-14T12:01:50+00:00

27 and her tits are in that mess wow what a prize

ransay3277 · 2019-06-14T13:46:48+00:00

A fat girl bragging she has big tits is like you telling me you have a fast car as it's falling off the cliff you just dove it over.

Naebany · 2019-06-14T09:32:32+00:00

not a size 0

just say fat and be done with it

single mom of 3

want to settle down 100%

so you wanted to settle down with your baby daddies only 30% or what?

pls don't waste my time if your intensions aren't in the right place.

translation: bail me out and don't ask any questions. Also don't demand stuff I gave for free in the past, I'm wiser now and know what I'm worth.

Sorry, you're not worth a shit.

[deleted] · 2019-06-14T11:15:40+00:00

Women know EXACTLY what they are doing when they show off their tits

I hate when they do that and play innocent about it

alleyteris · 2019-06-14T12:30:02+00:00

For fucks shake she is a single mom of tgree children , possibly by different father's too, is that a new definition of " family oriented' that i dont know about?

PizzaDiaper · 2019-06-14T16:46:38+00:00

Her tits look like two full water balloons hanging from a sink faucet.

sakirocks · 2019-06-14T22:33:49+00:00

Bio says she wants to settle down. Pic says she still wants to ride the cc. Dual mating

Tracergold · 2019-06-15T14:38:57+00:00

Modern Western feminism in a nutshell.

She's had her fun, and now she's ready to settle down. So, bring on the line of Alphas, and she'll sort through the hundreds of 6ft, 6-figure salary suitors.

That's what she's been led to believe will happen.

SuperVeryDumbPerson · 2019-06-14T09:27:35+00:00

She has her own house and car tho, that's something at least

ugluk1 · 2019-06-14T09:28:52+00:00

It took 3 kids, which is an immense burden, to drive this woman to finally consider accepting a beta. Make that accepting his money.

[deleted] · 2019-06-14T09:53:27+00:00

As bad as this profile is. Thank god she didn’t list the “my kids are my world and no hookups!” NPC shit we see every time.

coolmw93 · 2019-06-14T11:03:50+00:00

Lol isn't that great? She loves kids!

Who would have guessed?

NickTesla2018 · 2019-06-14T11:16:01+00:00

I hate most of humanity, including this mess.

zombigal · 2019-06-14T13:36:31+00:00

3 kids and now she's looking to settle down.

alecesne · 2019-06-14T14:49:16+00:00

"if your intentions aren't in the right place" --> Photo is of cleavage. No other information offered? Copy.

GlobalAsshat · 2019-06-14T16:33:23+00:00

I stopped at Aquarius... Anything related to astrology is an instant dealbreaker.

kaolin224 · 2019-06-14T16:54:02+00:00

Swipe left if my intentions aren't in the "right" place?

You mean your place.

I'd like to know which, if any, of her intentions were in the "right" place when she got knocked up three times and is now a single mom.

magx01 · 2019-06-14T17:10:11+00:00

Not a size 0. Lol.

Those boobs are saggers btw.

[deleted] · 2019-06-14T09:37:23+00:00

All these say: "ready to settle down." Ok but, ahem, what's been happening in the previous years?

Cheap_Sack_Of_Shit · 2019-06-14T13:44:53+00:00

Ready to settle down 100%

It's like she's trying to convince herself as she types this. An "Ok but ACTUALLY this time for sure without a doubt, promise" vibe.

spaghetti_hitchens · 2019-06-14T14:51:01+00:00

Not a size 0... Or a 2... Or a 4... Or an 8... Or a 16 but you're getting warmer

Duke-Nukem-64 · 2019-06-14T16:44:36+00:00

"I cook/clean"

Bullshit.

YYCchatterbox · 2019-06-14T17:20:07+00:00

It always baffles me why listing your astrology sign is some sort of incentive for men.

"Oh yea i definitely want to tie myself to some chick who thinks success comes from rock energy and horoscopes"

FactCheckOnTheFly · 2019-06-14T20:14:27+00:00

“Not a size zero”

Size 30

Not here for sex but here’s a close up shot of my tits in case the right Chad comes along who tingles my vagina.and wants to pump in baby 4 after a box of wine.”

Where is the next plague?

whoisjamal · 2019-06-15T01:15:37+00:00

Single mom with no job and nothing to offer but saggy tits, used high mileage vag, and 3 bastard children... no thanks.

mblazin1532 · 2019-06-15T04:49:57+00:00

Remember she needs a "real man."

Ignat_Voronkov · 2019-06-14T09:51:32+00:00

at least she cooks and cleans....

dukecharming1975 · 2019-06-14T16:51:07+00:00

Not a size 0 means obese. At least she cooks and cleans. More than my ex wife

iduzhair · 2019-06-14T20:09:33+00:00

She needs to scrub that gross dead skin between her tits 🤢

friggandfrayed · 2019-06-14T20:20:57+00:00

NOT a size zero lol

MattFoley79 · 2019-06-15T05:44:04+00:00

Not a size 0

Or even a size 14, for that matter.

RF111164 · 2019-06-15T13:55:44+00:00

Not a size 0

lol what ????

[deleted] · 2019-06-16T14:53:37+00:00

Not a size 0

Those titties say size 17.

Newbosterone · 2019-06-16T16:25:10+00:00

Aquarius- “I’m superstitious but demand you take me seriously “

Not a size zero - “I don’t need a bra, these tits are resting on my stomach “

Family oriented - “My family, not yours. You can join in a subservient position is you pay for everything and defer to me on everything “.

tomwatsonyourwallet · 2019-06-16T19:17:17+00:00

Fatass

cenaluc · 2019-06-17T00:01:46+00:00

"I cook/clean".

me too

aidsgoblin · 2019-06-17T00:42:21+00:00

She's got that wishbone crack in her cleavage.

Also known as a post-wall impact crater.

deplorable-bastard · 2019-06-17T14:03:29+00:00

Fat bitch that likes the beach, great.

oh_no_aliens · 2019-06-19T15:02:10+00:00

Flat, deflated wind-bags she has to press against the floor like the animal she is in order to make them appear full.

BroJobBiggs · 2019-06-14T13:32:50+00:00

She doesn't seem all that bad. I' d pump and dump it.

Title	Excuse my breast, I am finally ready to find a Simp to settle down with, FOREVER!
Author	dawgbone31
Upvotes	437
Comments	137
Date	June 14, 2019 4:53 AM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen/comments/c0g1if/excuse_my_breast_i_am_finally_ready_to_find_a/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen/excuse-my-breast-i-am-finally-ready-to-find-a-simp.345321 https://theredarchive.com/post/345321

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