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Suggestions dealing with ambushes

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March 9, 2020
9 upvotes

Things have leveled off, maintaining a strict diet plan , being more social, wife finally got a job, sex life is ramping up again. I been removing myself from the situation when wife goes into bitch mode, normally she is ok when i come back.

Her latest tactic, is to start bitch mode when it's hard for me to leave example Sunday late at night, weekdays 7 am, stuff like that, last one i went STFU and just occasionally telling her ok, yeah and stuff like that. Question, how to deal with this traps, another tactic she uses when i STFU, is start telling me how i have no balls and stuff like that because i allow her to speak to me like that and i don't say anything, as i see it are just baits.


Post Information
Title Suggestions dealing with ambushes
Author turbospeedsc
Upvotes 9
Comments 29
Date 09 March 2020 11:03 PM UTC (7 months ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/353922
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/fg3quk/suggestions_dealing_with_ambushes/
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Comments

[–]MrChad_ThundercockBig Red Machine12 points13 points  (0 children) | Copy

It’s a congruence test and you’re failing.

She’s testing to see if this is REALLY the new you....

“Her latest tactic”

It’s not a tactic, it’s a feature.

Awalt.

Edit: If she can talk to you like that she can’t be attracted to you. She lashes out at the most opportunistic time because she knows you don’t have the balls to set her straight. She’s getting more harpy and bitchy because you haven’t shut her shit down like a man- what /u/BobbyPeru said. She’s pissed that she’s still in charge. For once in your marriage you started acting like a man- hence the sex came back on the regular- but you pussed out at the half way point. She called your bluff and you folded. And Yes, you have no balls. She’s right.

[–]FoxShitNasty837 points8 points  (1 child) | Copy

She is overtly telling you to man the fuck up. We say STFU here but sometimes you have to talk. Setting a simple boundary might be the correct approach (depending on context). If she is being disrespectful you need to stand up and tell her calmly that it's not acceptable. Always walk away, if it leaves her in the shit so what. Not your problem.

You need to experiment:

"This isn't working for me right now"

"I am disappointed, I expect better"

Or my less serious ones:

"I can't tell if your being bitchy because you want a good fucking or because you want me to throw you out? (Grinning)"

"Your bitchy behaviour is making my dick hard, meet me in the bedroom in 10 minutes"

If I want my wife to fuck off and leave me alone making it sexual shuts her up. I have a mission to do, always busy.

[–]Chump_No_More1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Personal favorite is, "You've given me a lot to think about".

[–]Rifleshoot10 points11 points  (4 children) | Copy

So she’s baiting you by telling you that you have no balls, and you just sit there and take it? Your wife is right. You’ve taken STFU to a literal extent. STFU is a blanket statement intended to stop spergs from going Rambo and making fools of themselves while they play act being a man. When you’re being insulted to that degree by your wife, just sitting there and taking it in silence is just confirmation that she is right.

Obviously, your frame isn’t solid enough yet to handle that properly. But sitting there and just taking it is not an option either. If she starts talking that way to you, get up and go elsewhere. Anywhere. Go spend time with a friend, or if it’s a weekday morning, get into the office a little early. Or, go LIFT. Set up your life in a way that you always have some place better to be than right there, taking her words like a little bitch.

Besides lifting, your number one goal should be to internalize your own self esteem to the point where you understand how unacceptable it is for her to speak to you that way, and figure out how to put a stop to that behavior in a self assured, masculine way. There’s no cheat code to gaining that level of confidence. You have to put in the work and build it yourself.

[–]BobbyPeruRed Beret6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

Or, go LIFT.

I think I put on at least 5 pounds of muscle in the first 6 months lifting at her

[–]johnmic073 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

agreed. You can't let your wife say that kind of stuff to you. Obviously you don't want to lose your temper and start screaming or something but you need to verbally push back when she crosses the line like that. Then leave if the behavior continues.

[–]hack3geRed Beret2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Easiest solution is to treat her like a 5 year old girl - the sooner you get the hang of amused mastery it becomes.

I have done both this and the nuke route and have always had a better outcome with AM. The issue with nuking it is that it leaves her in a bad state of feels blazing you for it vs. flipping it and her having to think about whether or not maybe it is her behavior.

[–]turbospeedsc[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I'm going to start applying this, they just opened a 24 gym near my house I'll end up there at weird hours

[–]SBIIIRed Fucking Commando5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Just ask her for your balls back.

If she's in a good mood, she might let you have them back for a few hours.

[–]SteelSharpensSteelMod / Red Beret5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy

Cheat codes. Everyone just wants cheat codes.

[–]RoccoPinkman1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Come on man, let me fucking buy some. My girlfriend said I’m allowed.

[–]johneyapocalypseThe one that says "Bad Motherfucker"6 points7 points  (1 child) | Copy

Soldier of Fortune has some good ideas for dealing with ambushes.

Also the United States Marines have written some pretty good advice.

There's a Shaolin Monk who knows his shit, I've heard.

Contrarily, you could stop imagining that you're enemies and simply stop worrying about it so much.

Even stop worrying about her traps, cruel and cunning though they may be.

[–]MrChad_ThundercockBig Red Machine3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

“ Contrarily, you could stop imagining that you're enemies and simply stop worrying about it so much.”

Wisdom right there.

Yep, OP needs to reframe the entire dynamic- one where he is the Prize.

[–]BobbyPeruRed Beret3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Know the difference between shit tests and just plain disrespect. They are treated differently. She may be right (you have no balls) if she is being outright disrespectful, and you are not nipping it in the bud.

[–]simbarlionRed Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Relying exclusively on leaving (a poor man's STFU) just highlights a weakness in your frame.

You mastered level 1 ( leave / stfu) and now you need to learn to handle it in real life.

Lucky, cause your teacher has appeared.

[–]Vegasman200021 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I think you know what needs to be done you just don't have the balls to do it, or need validation from us. What you should be worried about is not "what" to do but "how" to do it.

Don't be an asshole, don't be combative and don't angry. No need for AA or AM. Initial response Just say "I am not talking to you when you are like this" and vacate. Repeat. If that doesn't stop it then worry about AA or AM or another response.

[–]JoeAccidental1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

You will become a master at these tests when you can flip it. She is testing your frame to see if you are a real man. She will hardly know she is doing it, but the good news is she does it because she cares about you. So, how to flip it: Set your boundaries, let her know the behaviour is unacceptable, but give her a way out, you are probably taking it far too literally and seriously.

My wife still does this occasionally, my response (with a cheeky grin) is, "Quit being a bitch and come over here and kiss me". This won't work to begin with, might take some time for her to get horny, but bear with it and act like you don't give a shit. Outcome independence and being your own point of origin is key, you will give her the tingles eventually.

Over time I've introduced the description of her being 'my bitch' into sex too and she loves it. She even commented the other day about if I mind when she is being bitchy. As long as you keep giving me BJs darling, you can be as bitchy as you want ;-)

Moving from being bothered by these tests to actively looking forward to acing them has been the single biggest step in swallowing the red pill for me and changing my life for the better. Good luck dude.

[–]AlohaMaui8081 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

As long as you keep giving me BJs darling, you can be as bitchy as you want ;-)

Better than OP, definitely, but not great. Personally I wouldn't want to give an overt "ok" to bitchiness being aimed at me.

At least you had a sense of humor though.

[–]Drivinga14861 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Sidebar. Lift. STFU. OYS.

"How do you do that?" (Dodge bullets) When you become a man you won't have to.

We can tell you you how but you already know. Stop being afraid of your wife.

[–]part_wolf3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

STFU, is start telling me how I have no balls.

How can you faggots not laugh at this shit? If my wife said that I'd whip out my sack and say "I was wondering what these were for."

[–]BootySlayer9111 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

If she literally said your balls are gone then she doesn't respect you, which is still the best of the three levels (she's obviously attracted to you and probably still in love with you to some degree). My wife left cause I was a super sized faggot for 2 years. Run your MAP focus on what you control; don't let her chaos throw you off. Good luck dick breath.

[–]TitsWobbleAwayTwice1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

She tells you that you have no balls because you let her speak to you like that? Practice saying, “Knock it off.” Until you can say it without any anger or defensiveness. Say it like you believed nobody would do anything other than obey. Be in command. Don’t ask her to let you be in command.

[–]screechhaterRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Twats an ambush ?

[–]redwall920 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Get a purse. Next time she asks you where your balls are ... go find your purse. Tell her you keep them in your purse.

[–]WolfofAllStreetz0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

What do you mean hard to leave? Go put on some shoes and go run up something hard. Yall need David Goggins in your life.

[–]turbospeedsc[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

As in morning 7 am, I take the kids to school at 8, sunday 11pm, where the crap do you go.

[–]amalgamator0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Just ask her - “why are you being such a bitch?”



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