My point of departure is this comment by /u/LewisCross:
Exactly. It is MUCH worse when women cheat. Female cheating is almost always fatal to the relationship. Male cheating? If he's high value enough, she'll keep him or take him back or put up with it. Because: When she cheats it's a wholesale rejection of the man she's cheating on. When he cheats he just wants some strange. IT's not the same at all.
Couple that with the Iron Law of Tomassi #6: A woman is utterly incapable of loving a man in the way a man expects to be loved, and you have a perfect storm of entitlement and hypocrisy only the Manosphere could give birth to.
So far as I can figure, the Manosphere justification for assigning greater moral hazard to female infidelity is based almost entirely around the female's supposedly inextinguishable hypergamous drive, which is constantly ushering the woman to find a loftier place to land. As a result, a man in a relationship is never truly at rest - constantly on guard against the chadlier challengers who are always lying in wait to steal his woman away.
According to /u/LewisCross though, a man himself is also always on the lookout for some 'strange', as his sexual strategy has its own ineradicable element: his insatiable thirst for sexual variety.
Comparing these two rough models of male vs. female infidelity, even partisans like Lewis acknowledge that, for a woman, the physical act of cheating is usually just the coup-de-grace, formally ending a relationship that has long been diagnosed as terminal. After a long process of searching and grooming (through emotional cheating), she finally jumps ship to a specific individual she has determined better satisfies her hypergamy. The woman's heart has belonged to someone else for awhile.
The man, on the other hand, while not on the lookout for something specific, is not one to let a good meal go to waste, should the opportunity present itself. Because, for most men, the sexual landscape is a barren, unkind wilderness. His appetite aches ceaselessly and he is used to grinding out every morsel of sustenance he can manage. So it would be a shame to forgo such an unexpected bounty - apparently even if the man has a perfectly good family meal waiting for him at home. So much for loving 'idealistically.'
I accept Lewis's schema that female infidelity is different and maybe even harsher in how it represents, effectively, a total rejection of the man whom she leaps from. But, it is also fundamentally more honest; she doesn't cheat more opportunistically, even though her life is one long sexual opportunity. She cheats when she's fallen out of love. This is not indicative of a woman being 'utterly incapable' of loving men, but, quite the contrary, a woman passionately loving just one man at a time. The Manosphere trope of 'Alpha Widowing' is directly contradictory to Tomassi's 'law': a woman is absolutely capable of loving a specific man in the way he desires - just not most men.
I think Manospherians conflate opportunity with severity: a woman will almost certainly have many more opportunities to cheat, therefore it is more likely, therefore it is worse.
And yet, in spite of this, it is more often the case that a woman's sexual bond to a high-value man is stronger, and more exclusive. Less susceptible to infidelity.
A man however, at least according to the schema Lewis has presented, hypocritically is not capable of returning such unique love as he demands in return. He is sexually greedy and inattentive, always on the lookout for whatever comes his way with the least effort, and with no qualms or guilt about how inadequate his insatiability might make the woman in his life feel. After all, a man's gotta eat. And he can't be expected to be satisfied with the same meal, day after day. Maybe one day he'll fail to resist his craving for the petite curvy girl who sits at the front desk, or the leggy blonde he watches walk to her office across from his every single day - a sight to savor. For in this feast for his eyes, what's inside doesn't matter much.
After all, it's just sex. CMV
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