Why is an opinionated woman a thing of repulsion?

omanisherin · 2020-03-28T18:31:51+00:00

Is that gender specific? Conversation is kind of like touch. Someone either feels good, bad or indifferent after you do it. If your friend is adverse to conflict, and finds debate uncomfortable, they may find debate oriented based conversations distasteful. Maybe they disagree with your opinion, but do not feel comfortable contradicting you.

Personally I love a good throw down (male) but have found lots of folks are afraid of conflict, even in it's mildest form.

The current climate of cancel culture has exacerbated this too.

HB3234 · 2020-03-28T18:42:56+00:00

Are you speaking from your own experience? Ex, do you feel that you, an argumentative woman, are despised? Do you feel that people expect you to smile and walk on eggshells? If so, can you tell us a little more about situations that cause you to feel this way?

In general, though...

Being outspoken is not a virtue.

Honesty and directness should always be tempered by tact. Tact is not "sugar coating". Tact is understanding how to speak in a way that will resonate with your audience. More importantly, tact is understanding if your honest and direct opinion is needed, wanted, or even valuable.

Too many people think that because they have an opinion on something, they ought to share it. Not every thought we have is a good or worthwhile one - in fact, a great many probably deserve to be tossed out after some reflection.

In my experience, people who feel "telling it like it is" is part of their identity (or "brutally honest" people) oftem come across like they care more about sharing their opinion than they care about its impact on the recipient. It's an ego thing for them. This may or may not be true of you, but its possibly the way you're presenting yourself is getting you lumped in with those kinds of people, too.

When it comes to debating--it sounds like you enjoy a debate and that is wonderful with friends who share your preference. However, many people don't. The ones who don't can find ot exhausting even to be an audience to a debate, and a gracious friend would try to be aware and considerate of that. Are you sure you're able to read the room and accurately get a sense of who enjoys a rollicking debate, and who doesn't?

Ari3n3tt3 · 2020-03-28T20:26:05+00:00

I'm really opinionated and I got much better reactions to it once I switched my focus from 'being right' to 'learning others views'

Personally I got the most bad reactions to my opinions when I was still learning how to pick my battles

_tiff_ · 2020-03-29T00:45:57+00:00

If you are a high IQ female, it's natural to have proclivities toward philosophy and exchange of ideas. I think the main thing you're getting at here though is essence.

There are masculine and feminine essences in human beings. If you are seeking to embody more feminine essences, you can certainly still debate and be an intelligent female, no need to "walk on eggshells" either. But you must learn to infuse this with an elegance and receptivity.

That is the real work. And, in doing this, you become far more inspiring than when you're using the masculine penetrative force of idea exchange.

36trombones · 2020-03-28T23:03:36+00:00

I think some women are intimidated by intellectual discussions. They don't like to fight with ideas, and so they fight back by trying to make other women feel self-conscious or unfeminine.

That was often my experience, anyway. The dreariest classes I took in college were the ones that were all women. Instead of debating each other, whoever was queen bee tried to force everyone else into consensus.

Not all women are like this. My best friendships are with women who love discussion and debate. But some women seem to think that debate -- which is my way of figuring things out -- is hostile.

I've almost never had men complain that I'm overly argumentative. I mean my husband will get upset if he thinks I'm being needlessly critical or negative, but he likes a good debate.

melitele3 · 2020-03-28T18:19:23+00:00

I think there is nothing wrong with either being opinionated or argumentative. From your description I would say you are doing it in a healthy way, not trying to enforce the conversation or “win” the debate.

I think it is perceived negatively because many women do it in a toxic way, being emotional rather than pragmatic and logical.

Other than that I think it is frowned upon because if we look at “ideal feminine image” it is a woman who doesn’t spark conflict and brings peace. Feminine woman is a peacemaker, cheerful, child like, emphatic and spreads positive energy. Many times arguments about politics are dynamic, harsh and can turn negative as well. That is why avoiding of speaking about such things and trying to change the topic is considered wise to try not to spark unnecessary drama or conflict.

When we look into some books on savior-vivre and manners, we can find information that speaking of politics and religion etc publicly is considered lack of manners and faux pas. It should only be discussed with very close circles and avoided with people who aren’t close.

Pola_Lita · 2020-03-28T21:31:18+00:00

There's nothing wrong with being outspoken or opinionated, certainly not within the parameters you've stated. As long as expressing your opinion doesn't include ridicule or sarcasm or just negativity toward the other "side" on a personal level. No one would like that.

But there ARE those who bristle at the thought of a woman having a firm opinion and standing her ground over it, though, and that's no matter how tactfully it's accomplished. Who knows why they do it but they definitely do and lots of times it's after making sweeping statements of their own. Then you find yourself in a situation of either agreeing cooperatively or risking getting tangled in a debate that's never going to end well.

So, keep your responses to the subject while avoiding the personal but also keep aware about who to speak freely with and who to disagree with while still refusing debate them.

Whisper · 2020-03-28T19:47:23+00:00

It seems to have reached a point where I can debate or be perceived as argumentative.

But I'm not actually argumentative, dogmatic, and socially obnoxious. Oh, no. It's all those other people's fault. They are just intimidated by a strong independent woman.

Here, let me ask RPW about it:

Why am I so awesome? Why does everyone who doesn't like me suck so much?

Rock_Granite · 2020-03-29T02:19:45+00:00

My question is: why are opinionated or argumentative women despised? And again - what I mean when I say argumentative is having a spirited debate with facts; not just empty opinion thumping. I’m not looking to “win” a debate; but there has to be something for having a conversation, or an intellectual discussion with some persuasion?

Depends on how it is said. Debating with facts is great. But when anyone, male or female starts raising their voice and getting animated, it gets tense. See the thing is, not everyone can have a debate and then agree to disagree. Some people take it too personally and get bent out of shape. That's where the trouble starts

CountryOnWater · 2020-03-29T16:42:04+00:00

They’re not, I’m not sure what you’re talking about. If I was dating a woman who didn’t have an opinion on anything I’d end things in days to weeks at max. I want a personality to admire and learn from, not a bot.

If the man you’re seeing hates having discussions he’s got internal issues to resolve, such as the ability to listen. Does he read? If he does, listening should come naturally.

LinenMonk · 2020-03-29T20:01:19+00:00

I don’t entirely think it is gender-specific. I have found some spirited debate attempts from other dudes to be utterly irritating. I prefer the method of comparing and contrasting ideas and perspectives rather than trying to “debunk” the other person. Correction can be done but you can’t just flood them eg “I can appreciate your take on things, but may I share how I think about it?” Etc.

An overly, and clumsily, opinionated person - guy or gal, is not my idea of good company. I absolutely love trading ideas and asking tough questions and having deep intellectual discussions; I adore it! But it helps to have a light-heartedness to it. No one is trying to change the other, rather I want to learn about the other person as well as clarify my own understanding.

TheDrySkinQueen · 2020-03-29T03:37:52+00:00

“wise men speak because they have something to say; fools because they have to say something” -Plato

Moonshineraider · 2020-03-29T13:23:53+00:00

Anyone who is opinionated, be they male or female, walks a razor’s edge of being influential or despised depending on how they convey their ideas. As I’ve grown older I’ve noticed better reception of my ideas if I use questions to make the receiver logically narrow the scope of possibility before presenting my ideas, or preface my statements by saying something like, “This is only my opinion, so take it for what it’s worth etc.” It seems that the former works better when receiver(s) are male and the latter when female. I couldn’t really explain why.

The internet probably has a lot to do with suppressing the development of conversational humility in all people, as it allows one to post a (most likely uninformed) idea as a statement of fact and they don’t have to look at the faces of all the people it puts off. Instead it’s just someone agreeing or disputing with equal indigence that feeds the cycle.

phoenix_md · 2020-03-29T14:30:24+00:00

One basic truth of life is that people who understand the least about a subject are the ones most likely to speak about it in an authoritative way. So if you are outspoken and opinionated, you basically are telling people that you’re an idiot. On the other hand, someone who is knowledgeable and wise is typically soft-spoken and careful about what they say because they feel a certain responsibility with handling this subject that they have invested interest in for many years.

This leads into one of the truths of the red pill which is that women often do not get corrected for their ignorance because men simply want to be around them. This reinforces and magnifies their ignorance. They quickly develop a heightened sense of knowledge on the subject and feel all the more reason to keep spreading their nonsense.

So instead of going around blurting out whatever opinion you have on whatever subject, instead be reserved, soft-spoken, and respectful for others thoughts.

(The same is true for men, it’s just that men typically pick this up early on in life whereas women never realize these truths)

Own_Outsideasd · 2020-03-28T20:46:29+00:00

The other posters seem to be gender-neutralizing this. Those reasons may be true, but I think another factor may be that "it's hard to take a catty little lady seriously".

rammerplex · 2020-03-29T02:42:06+00:00

Opinionated people are annoying. It has no relationship to being man or woman.

Just stop talking and listen. This change works for everyone of all genders.

spacebubbletea · 2020-03-29T08:16:46+00:00

Because your men want you to be arm candy?

Title	Why is an opinionated woman a thing of repulsion?
Author	thenewgoddess
Upvotes	71
Comments	40
Date	March 28, 2020 6:10 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/fqp90t/why_is_an_opinionated_woman_a_thing_of_repulsion/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/why-is-an-opinionated-woman-a-thing-of-repulsion.357927 https://theredarchive.com/post/357927

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