Thought I should share this quite interesting situation that occurred last weekend with a relative who found out about his wife affair.
So the person in question is a distant cousin of mine 31 years old, works as a clerk for the local municipality. We are pretty close, so this weekend he just told me everything as we meet up for lunch. He has been married to his wife for a year and a half now, no kids involved as they were waiting with that for a couple of years.
Anyways his wife prior to getting married to him was dating a guy who at that time was in his first year in Medical School, and the relationship between them somehow failed from what I have gathered due to him focusing on his studies as he was struggling a bit to catch up with the tempo. So she broke things off with him because he wasn’t “available to her “ now.
Fast forward couple of years, she meets my cousin, they fell in love, and they married. Now fast forward months into her new married life, during a social event she stumbles upon her ex. He was now this hot shot surgical resident and had every attention of the girl in the room. I was present at that event and even meet the guy in question. We feel into chat, as we both were in the same field, and he actually was a nice guy, who gave me solid career advice, as I was about to graduate soon myself. Even though I was a blue pill at that time, I noticed how he carried himself around people, that he was “ better than them” and all the women in that event really tried to get his attention ( Should mention I am from a cultural background where being a doctor or lawyer is a big thing. But guess that goes everywhere where hypergamy is active. )
Anyway, I noticed even how my cousin wife was chatting up with him, and I thought they just were friends, but I could then sense that there was something more to it. Later on, that's when I find out from him that they used to date, and this is the first time they see each other after a breakup. And he is happy for her and all.
After that day, things just changed at my cousin household. More drama and “marriage problems”.She would complain about everything and anything, and my cousin just tried to put out one fire at the time.
During that time, unbeknown to my cousin, she went on Facebook to find her ex, and started to talk to him again. She somehow wants to relive the past I guess, don't know, but it went on for a month, until one day my cousin needed to use his wife laptop, and Facebook was still open, and he came across all her text. There wasn’t anything sexual, but there was the “ I miss us, we had so much fun, imagine if we were together now “.
Instead of confronting her with it, getting angry and mad. He made a decision in his mind to leave her on that instant moment. He was hurt as he told me, but would not give her the satisfaction of running over him. So he put up a face, to not show her that he knew what she been up too.
While he was slowly planning on leaving for months, trying to detach himself from her without her noticing, she told him one night that she was going to a friends baby shower in a neighboring town and would be back the following day.
In fact, she was going to the baby shower, but that was just cover story. At a hotel nearby the ex-was waiting for her after the party. My cousin found out about all this through FB, and he holds his poker face.
Once she left, he started packing all her stuff. The apartment was in his name, and he had no plan of leaving it for her. Waited until he knew the event was over, drove the car with her stuff to the hotel, went to the reception and said that he had luggage for room xxx that they forgot. And just went back home.
Changed the locks immediately and just went back to sleep.
A couple of hours after he gets multiple calls from her, and SMS asking whats wrong? Why did he bring all her stuff to a “ random hotel”. He didn’t reply. Didn’t pick up her calls.
He called her parents, and told her what the situation was and that he would send the divorce papers over to them, so she can sign it and return it to his lawyer. And that any other conversation she wants, she can talk to his lawyer.
One of the reasons I decided to share this story here, is that I see many common patterns amongst people new to the TRP including myself at the time, would confront and get angry or emotional when finding out their partner have been unfaithful to them. Obviously, it hurts being betrayed like that, but remember the Iron Rule of Tomassi#6 “ Women are utterly incapable of loving a man in the way that a man excepts to be loved”.
Not gonna say AWALT, but you at least need to push it deep into that skull of yours, that if a woman you in a relationship is stepping out, there is no stepping back in. And you got to stand by it. If you have your suspicions about her don't tell her that, investigate it yourself. Some might discourage it, but go through her stuff ( to a legal limit), and if you gather enough evidence that you are being cheated on, don't even confront her, just leave. Start detaching yourself from her physically, emotionally and financially first, and when everything is in place, just leave without a single “ its over” or “ goodbye”.
When she cheated on you she didn’t respect you. Why should you give her that courtesy of telling her its over or goodbye?