319,171 posts

The Other Side is Better, but Lonelier

by Immune2DNP on /r/TheRedPill
05 August 2018 01:56 AM UTC
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This post turned out to be an essay, so ADHD kids, you better pop that addy before reading on.


I find myself posting on TRP whenever I do some heavy introspecting for a few days. It is a great platform to flesh out my thoughts, see them in writing (which helps reinforce beliefs immensely, also why I suggest people write in a journal), and provide insight and value to those just getting started with TRP, or those further along in their journey.

I have been reading TRP for a little over a year at this point.

The Path to Becoming an Alpha

We all know the blueprint to becoming an alpha, it has been echoed here many times:

  • Lift hard, eat right

  • Groom well, have a good sense of style

  • Read non fiction

  • Meditate everyday

  • Develop a titanium frame

  • Have a solid foundation for your finances

  • Talk to everyone, learn to be social with everyone

  • Have fun hobbies that you are passionate about

  • Find a purpose in life

When I read that list, I think to myself "is that really all it took to completely transform my life? Is that really ALL it took to go from a LIFETIME of being beta to completely transforming my inner and outer world?" The answer is yes. However, with this change in lifestyle comes consequences in the form of opportunity cost.

The Lonely Road to the Top

So what did I do after initially discovering TRP? Similar to most of you, nothing.

I simply read post after post, wanted to internalize it, master the theories and concepts, memorize the lines, and become Chad in my head; I wanted the end result without having put in any actual work, without risking anything. I was happy with my mental (and physical) masturbation, happily living vicariously through "Fake" RP stories.

I say "fake" because once you actually implement the principles you read here, stay consistent, and do it over a long period of time, you suddenly find yourself as the protagonist of those very same stories.

After an excessively prolonged period of mental masturbation, I decided to put theory to the test. The way my perception was at the time was this:

If I was already at rock bottom, I had nothing to lose, and had nowhere to go, but up, what's the worst that a drastic paradigm shift could do? So I did, I put theory to the test.

Suddenly, you're the guy who other people are looking at in the gym for motivation, the "douchebag" with fitted clothes showing off the physique you've worked hard for, the guy who has read NMMNG, The Power of Now, 48 Laws of Power, and other books that has helped shift your mentality and expand your worldview, the guy who people do not fuck with because of his physique, and if they try, it doesn't work because of his unshakable frame, the "life of the party" type of guy.

Yeah, yeah I get it, hard work, meditation, lift, blah blah, NOW TELL ME ABOUT THE SLUTS!!


I used to hate girls. I thought "why are they so mean, why am I a friend, why do they never talk to me about their girl friends, sex, etc."

Guys, when you are a BP, beta, a soyboy, a guy with no frame-sex does not register in a girl's mind when she looks at you. In her eyes, you might as well be a eunuch. That's why after Chad gives her a dose of daily vitamins and minerals (dumps a load in her mouth) and leaves, you are the one she cries to about "that asshole". She will obviously never reveal the details of what happened, just paint him to be "an asshole."

When I started on this journey, I was a gymcel. I always loved working out, so I had a decent physique at the start of my RP journey, but was still struggling with an eating disorder, smoking weed multiple times a day, porn addiction, jerking off a lot, playing video games/watching Twitch tv, binging on TV shows, etc. My life was going from one artificial dopamine hit to the next.

Since then, I've hooked up with several girls, had a couple of plates, and fucked a couple other as well. I'm currently in a LTR with a girl and things are progressing well. I know, it's nothing super crazy, I haven't creampied a girl's asshole in the club bathroom yet, but all of this is still substantial progress for me.

During this time I have learned the following about girls:

  • Every girl is on a spectrum of masculinity to femininity; the girls I am most attracted to are ones furthest towards the feminine side. Sounds obvious, right?

  • My experience has been, the more feminine the girl, the more bratty, bitchy, entitled, etc. These are also the girls that tend to be the hottest, most submissive, and eager to please. These girls will shit test the most, because they are looking for someone to replace daddy, and once you demonstrate that your frame is unshakable and they're either operating in your frame or they'll be replaced, you will see an entirely different side of her

  • Girls are beautiful and there is something that turns me on from an evolutionary perspective when experiencing masculine/feminine polarity

  • There is an ABUNDANCE of girls out there, so do not settle for a manipulative/abusive/shitty one

  • Talking to girls everywhere, going on a lot of dates, or spinning plates internalizes Abundance Mentality-you don't have to be fucking tons of girls to have this. All it takes for you to internalize abundance mentality is knowing you CAN fuck new girls with relative ease if you want/have to

  • If you find a good girl, worth a LTR, then go for it. A LTR provides a different type of experience from a hookup, plate, or FWB. You can enjoy each others company, care for each other, grow together, go on dates/trips together, and love each other (yeah you can do the same with plates, but if you're doing all that shit it's basically a relationship at that point.)

This is not a green light to stop hitting the gym, reading, holding frame, etc. LTR's are great, but the girl must be aware that she can and will be replaced if she acts out.

  • Don't be an autist with TRP. When you first start reading, you will be balls to the wall and internalize very black and white thinking. Remember, TRP is a toolbox to use-you have been gifted the tools/knowledge to navigate life. Do not have expectations that every girl you meet will be a marriage worthy, virgin, unicorn. On the other side of the coin, don't assume every girl is a cum guzzling slut who has rode 100 cocks.

The Other Side is Better, but Lonelier

So how does all of this tie into my title? It's simple, after a year of really pushing myself: physically, mentally, spiritually, financially, socially, creatively, with game, frame, and more-at times I find myself feeling lonely and someone who others can't relate to.

This isn't meant to be a sob story, but a reality. A concept that is consistently repeated is this: "you are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with."

When your old friends are incels, or waste time drinking beer and playing video games, or binge watch Game of Thrones for the 5th time, will you be a reflection of them? More times than not, the answer is yes.

If you want to, and I mean truly want to, become "alpha", which for me means become the best version of yourself, embrace/develop your masculinity, and create the life you truly desire and envision for yourself-you will have to spend significantly less time with those people, if not cut them out entirely.

I'm at a place where I had to cut out some of my childhood friends, some due to the fact that they are stagnating, and others who are simply jealous for where I have gotten in life. It's such a shitty fucking feeling, the people who were closest to you, are jealous or resent you because of your transformation. Luckily, I still keep in touch with a couple of old friends who I know have my best interests at heart and will be lifelong friends.

New people I've met? I've met a handful of new people who are driven, have goals, and actively work to better themselves. These are the people who I can connect with on a deep level and who I've made friends with and talk to on a regular basis.

I now find myself able to get girls with relative ease, but struggle with finding/keeping strong male friendships.

If there's one thing to take away from this post, it's this: work HARD, consistently, in the face of failure and ESPECIALLY when you don't want to work, to achieve things others won't. Do these things to develop yourself as a person, to self-actualize, because once you get there, you will realize how many others you've left in the dust. Once you get to this point, you will be able to reap the rewards that others can only dream of.

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Post Information
Title The Other Side is Better, but Lonelier
Author Immune2DNP
Upvotes 905
Date 05 August 2018 01:56 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit TheRedPill
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/51832
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/94oe1z/the_other_side_is_better_but_lonelier/
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507 upvotesRolandTheDickslinger1 year ago

Your loneliness is a product of a mismatched expectation: the expectation that you deserve companionship. Moreover, you feel entitled to having a set of people, friends and bitches, who love you unconditionally, for who you are.

The real truth is that everyone is alone, at all times. Kill every expectation you have over the world. You are not entitled to anyone or anything. Your loneliness will disappear, and you’ll cherish your friends even more.

108 upvotesFeralRed1 year ago

The glass is not half full nor half empty, but already broken.

1 upvotesTheRealJesusChristus1 year ago

Try not to bend the spoon, because thats impossible. Try to imagine the truth, the spoon doesnt exist. And you will see that its not the spoon, but you who will bend.

Just to add useless wisdoms.

41 upvotesGingham_Argile1 year ago

Spoken like a Stoic. Clean and to the point. I needed to hear this perspective.

6 upvotes • [deleted] • 1 year ago

He's basically saying what the sidebar teaches, that the world doesn't owe you shit.

3 upvotesSonic3241 year ago


Loneliness is a lack of relation in Reality. One can have no expectations and still experience loneliness.

15 upvotes • [deleted] • 1 year ago

Your loneliness is a product of a mismatched expectation: the expectation that you deserve companionship. Moreover, you feel entitled to having a set of people, friends and bitches, who love you unconditionally, for who you are.

The real truth is that everyone is alone, at all times. Kill every expectation you have over the world. You are not entitled to anyone or anything. Your loneliness will disappear, and you’ll cherish your friends even more.

High IQ comment. Relatable, makes sense.

-18 upvotesgbdoragnic1 year ago

> You are not entitled to anyone or anything

You are entitled to whatever you earned, the fact that this is gold shows how blue the sub is.

> the expectation that you deserve companionship.

You do deserve companionship ,you just have to find the because? The truth is OP feels better than his friends

8 upvotescesar-perez1 year ago

i like to think deserve is just another made up unjustifiable claim/belief. we are born and that is it. nature is a cruel and undiscerning bitch, the world doesn't owe us a damn thing.

4 upvotesgbdoragnic1 year ago

if I go to work do I deserve a paycheck? Let you not get paid and we will see how entitled you are

6 upvotescesar-perez1 year ago

we're thinking abstractly here. the short answer is, no you don't "deserve" it.

43 upvotesLuftwaffeMeindl1 year ago

> I now find myself able to get girls with relative ease, but struggle with finding/keeping strong male friendships.

hard truths cut both ways

133 upvotesSonic3241 year ago

What TRP doesn't teach: it's lonely at the top.

Considering well over a majority of the population lacks any character and ability to consistently maintain any sort of healthiness, entwined with those who cannot reach the peak without giving up and quitting, you will find it rare to meet others in your Reality.

Either a blessing or a curse, achieving the outer bounds of humanity leaves one feeling fractured from the plebs. Spread yourself and bestow the knowledge you have learnt onto others.

30 upvotes • [deleted] • 1 year ago

This is something I'm struggling with. I've now surpassed everyone in my friend group to the extent that it just frustrates me being around them due to their lack of life progress or ambition. Finding a more ambitious tier of companions is difficult tho especially as you age so I don't want to write them off entirely. Just appreciate them for their role in my life

22 upvotesBeATrumpet1 year ago

Meh I don't think that way. I have groups of friends. Ones that I love and chill with and go party with. Others I hang out with and make money with, others that enjoy fine dining and can afford it etc and girls that I legitimately like chilling with vs ones to dump nuts into.

1 upvotes • [deleted] • 1 year ago

You will discover that as you age, the friends around you drop off because they don't follow what you want to achieve from life, nothing wrong with that...just find better people to be friends with (or different people etc)

6 upvotesparty_next_door1 year ago

Physically you could go to the gym or better yet those fitness conventions. (If we are considering connecting with people with similar health goals .)

Not saying its a must its just an option if we were trying to focus on finding like minded individuals health/aesthetics wise.

-6 upvotesNr3671 year ago

It's lonely at the top when your competition is small. But when you move to a bigger city you're a small fish in a big pond. initially I found myself alone because I didn't realize I had to build Social Circles according to my social value. Thus I was hanging out with low value people. but a shift happend when I realized the only way to hang out with high-value people is to demonstrate high-value and actively put effort into it.

Like I said try moving to a big city. there's a lot of successful people there that are willing to help you and let you in their friend group if you prove to be high value (have high potential and work towards Improvement).

I can only imagine how lonely it would be in the midwest or in a town with a population less than 500, 000. Basing it off that number you can assume that the top people already have their establish social groups and are hesitant to let people in unless they have a reputation.

But hey what do I know I'm only have 21 year old that lives in Los Angeles that hangs out with multi-millionaires, musc stars, and famous comedians.

It's only lonely at the top if you live in a small City.

But if you live in a large city and are saying it's Lonely at the Top that's because you're socially incompetent. People are attracted to money status and women. If you have all of those and you're still lonely. Then it's something internal.

9 upvotesMarcosDomingues1 year ago

Can relate to this. Live in a place with a population of 11000. Approaching people doesn't work, everyone already knows each other, and have their own social circles.

-2 upvotesRedwallAllratuRatbar1 year ago

Why would alpha group of guys let yet another competitor into their group?

25 upvotesebaymasochist1 year ago

That's not how people with abundance think. If you can add value, you're an asset, not competition

1 upvotesFindTheBus1 year ago

Alpha groups of guys still aren't interested in inviting competitors into their groups. Maybe they didn't read the sidebar?

2 upvotesebaymasochist1 year ago

That's like saying football teams never allow new players to join because it's competition.. New companies never hire new workers.. etc.

13 upvotesOriginal_Dankster1 year ago

Because the new guy brings value. He contributed to the group in his own way, through his status, humour... Being perceived as alpha means having a large social circle of high value people. Be a high value person yourself and they'll be happy to let you in.

Boils down to what value do you as the new guy bring to the table?

4 upvotesNr3671 year ago

Every group needs a funny guy. That's why I'm let in.

4 upvotes • [deleted] • 1 year ago

The funny guy is usually low on the pecking order though

2 upvotesNr3671 year ago

I'm glad you know how the world works. After all generalizations apply in every situation are regardless of social group and geographical location. Although I get your reasoning and I do agree with that in most cases. In this case I said funny guy to simplify the understanding of why i can get in. Since I'm not in the habit of proving myself to people online take my word for it. Life is far more complex than a statement.

1 upvotesianselfmade1 year ago

achieving the outer bounds of humanity leaves one feeling fractured from the plebs. Spread yourself and bestow the knowledge you have learnt onto others.

It is as if it was written from some philosopher, these beautifully constructed words come from experience, such outstanding words, sir.

43 upvotesThrowaway_52521 year ago

I feel lonely frequently too despite the fact that I plunder more puss then ever before.

I yearn for connection and someone who truly cares about me. I still hold resentment towards a girl who ghosted me with zero empathy 5 years ago. I still get pissed about my friends suicide, another friends murder, and a bunch of other humiliations that've pilled up over the years. My relationship with family in the past has been decent at best, borderline homicidal towards eachother at worst. I work in a sales job and that combined with all the reading I've done has given me a very pessimistic view of the world. So much so that I don't want to get married and I would never bring a child into the world. Sometimes I get so wrapped up in my Darwinian transactional black-piled analysis of everything I become nostalgic for the time I wasn't jaded, saw life as something beautiful overall didn't have a disdain for 80% of the population.

Most weeks I just want my ladyfriend to call me to say she's thinking about me and we should bang and see a movie and have a glass of wine. That's all I can really ask for I suppose. Putting everything else out of the way, that makes me happy. Being there with her makes me happy.

39 upvotesSeedThrownAway1 year ago

When going through hell, keep going

Edit: Winston Churchill, I believe

8 upvotesooQueso1 year ago

Don't slow down, and if you're scared don't show it

3 upvotes • [deleted] • 1 year ago

This should be a mantra! No bullshit, just the truth!

10 upvotes • [deleted] • 1 year ago

all the reading I've done has given me a very pessimistic view of the world. So much so that I don't want to get married and I would never bring a child into the world. Sometimes I get so wrapped up in my Darwinian transactional black-piled analysis of everything I become nostalgic for the time I wasn't jaded, saw life as something beautiful overall didn't have a disdain for 80% of the population.

Someone hacked into my brain. This hits home, dawg.

4 upvotestrancedj1 year ago

“Ghosted me with zero empathy”

I’m a couple months out from this exact experience. No fucking way could I survive 5 god damned years of this misery. Just kill me now if that’s my future.

Edit: I’m fine really. I have abundance and get plenty of puss. Not that women mean anything to me at this point. What I need is a purpose; still searching for that.

6 upvotesfuriouszeno1 year ago

Jesus dude, you sound salty as fuck. I think you have missed a critical piece of TRP philosophy somewhere along the line. Your probably stuck in an anger phase.

2 upvotes • [deleted] • 1 year ago

Your probably stuck in an anger phase.

But he gets puss, as he says.

1 upvotesap4261 year ago

Sales in an investment bank?

1 upvotesBeATrumpet1 year ago

Bro you got this, you have much unlockable potential. But nice words online ain't gonna do shit. You are your own temple. Build and improve your temple. You have sales experience? Work as a stock broker or investment, you'll find new friends its gonna be tough, but right now get your mind to a positive place.

1 upvotesEscapeTheGoat1 year ago

Get a dog. Like no joke. Those fuckers will save your sanity.

1 upvotesfabsavage1 year ago

Yep. I rescued a greyhound after my 6 yr LTR breakup. Saved my life.

1 upvotes • [deleted] • 1 year ago

You seem as if you have depression, meditation will help.

there is nothing wrong with your expectation of wanting a woman to do that but instead of expecting her to do it, why don't you make those calls ?

try and build postive experiences that don't rely on getting your dick wet, howeever pussy is fun, the reality of sex is to bring children into the world. start doing other things to make your life enjoyable again and the loneliness/depression will dissapear

1 upvoteslook_in_the_mirror1 year ago

Dude I feel the same. When did life become so complex? I have a few good friends, but I miss the connection.

15 upvotesTheLanternFlame1 year ago

Also, it's kind of like a road to the top. At the bottom, it's all fun and shit with the blue pill perspective. Once you walk away from that and on your way to the top, you'll see less and less people treading their way to the top. And when you reach the top, you'll find yourself all alone. That's why some people at the bottom will drag you down, but as long as you have a tight frame and all the things in the toolbox, then even if you trip a little, you can still get back up.

2 upvotesBeATrumpet1 year ago

Fuck those people at the bottom, make friends with the fellow hikers you meet. And there are friends to make at the top. You guys are blinded.

3 upvotesTheLanternFlame1 year ago

Nah, you got it all wrong. WE all started from the bottom because we all live in a feminized, blue pilled society. No one escapes from the bottom of the food chain, unless you got someone from the family who is a hardcore red pill, or born like Corey (the young Alpha Buddha), then you got a good start. Of course now we have this community to open many things for us, we can now walk that path to the top. And we either just discard the past (fake it till you make it), or accept who we are in the past and move our ass to the top.

93 upvotes • [deleted] • 1 year ago

Great post but like most of TRP it's too focused on girls.

TRP is a solipsistic journey, and I really like the message of this thread about loneliness at the top. TRP about you, not getting laid. Getting laid is a side effect, or at least it should be. Just another hobby on your list that shouldn't be your #1.

As I've said here many times women shouldn't be in the top 3 most important things in your life.

48 upvotesFrugalKrugman1 year ago

My top 3:

1)Purpose/life goal

2)Strong male friendships that allow for constant growth

3)Hobbies/exploration of life

8 upvoteshendlefe1 year ago

I would augment point number 2 with "strong friendships with men, women, and family who enrich your life". Some of my happiest and most fulfilling moments in life were spent with a friend or loved one. Humans are social creatures and we derive pleasure from meeting those needs.

3 upvotesdream-hunter1 year ago

This, 100 times. So sad to see so many here being focused and doing so much shit just to get more girls instead of putting that focus on growing themselves.

1 upvotes-uftw-1 year ago

TRP is mainly about sexual strategy.

Go read the sidebar.

74 upvotesmyrenaissance1 year ago

This should be a new chapter in the new testament

21 upvotesooQueso1 year ago

Clearly you haven't read the New Testament.

-62 upvotesNr3671 year ago

Unless you're a pimp trying to get some hoe to trick for you. Or you want something out of the dude. Keep that dumb ass compliment yourself. You clearly come across as inexperienced. This was a good post. But it's not next level stuff. It's just above average stuff.

12 upvotesvandaalen1 year ago

Tempted to post this to r.iamverbadass, but that might trigger an influx of new subs and I don't want to be the one responsible for it.

1 upvotesNr3671 year ago

You should do it to justify you're superiority in your mind. Come on reaffirm that belief you're better. You know you want that validation.

1 upvotesenraged_ape1 year ago

He has the EC tag, and you? Pseudo-alpha, at best.

1 upvotesNr3671 year ago

I have an excuse to waste my time with pointless conversation about swinging dicks. I got T-boned in a car accident and I'm passed out on pain pills right now sitting in a bed with a neck brace on. What's your excuse?

32 upvotes • [deleted] • 1 year ago

This is what I was thinking reading 12 Rules for Life by JP 30 minutes before class starts, drinking my protein shake

4 upvotesboxxybebe1 year ago

Wow what a coincidence, I'm reading that book too. How far are you? I'm still on the first chapter on lobsters. And do you think it changes your life practically, or is it mental masturbation?

25 upvotesTheRedditGod1 year ago

It’s definitely not mental masterbation. It won’t change your life on its own, but the ideas in there, when internalized and applied are a solid foundation. I highly reccomend it, and also reccomend downloading the audio book. Peterson reads it, so it feels like your listening to one of his lectures instead of a book.

6 upvotesboxxybebe1 year ago

Thanks, and great tip on the audio book. I fking love listening to Peterson's lectures

-28 upvotesfresh--tendril1 year ago

Peterson is, at root, a traumatized child. He is a Narcissist. In my opinion you should steer clear of him. Notice the very dark shit he says. Keep away from that chap.

24 upvotesIZIShogunIZI1 year ago

I call bullshit. To be so casually dismissive of someone of Jordan Peterson's caliber with literally no arguments, explanation or details is an insult. I believe he is one of the most well thought out and articulated speakers who uses clear arguments, logic and decades of experience to make his points. He makes it very clear why he believes what he believes, and I would venture so far to say that even the majority of debaters that he's dismantled would disagree with you.

You definitely need to try harder next time and give even a little effort if you're going to open your mouth and say something as ridiculous as you did

-4 upvotesRobalot19701 year ago

I am going to respond this one simply because it amuses me. One thing I have learned is that when someone makes a statement like that, especially if name calling is involved, that is all about them and where they are in their life. It rarely has to do with logical facts. I place these comments in the drunks and children category, there is no point in arguing with either of them. You won't help them, you won't change their mind so your efforts are better spent elsewhere.

That being said why would anyone have such a high opinion of a guy that writes books? Not that having a good opinion is bad, but to take the next step and defend him online seams kind of pointless. Why do you allow yourself to be insulted by comment online like this? Why would let anyone know you are insulted? All you do when you respond like that is let him know he has power over your emotions.

You don't have to respond to me because I really don't care but I thought my helpful. If you don't agree that doesn't bother me.

-17 upvotesfresh--tendril1 year ago

Read Alice Miller - if you want a proper education. I don't need to do anything. It would seem, however, that you do.

7 upvoteszonerf11 year ago

Wow you're an idiot of the royal caliber! It would behoove you to realize that people who are telling the truth and being very honest about the reality we live tend to come off very serious and intense. That doesn't remotely mean they are "traumatized child." I would be very interested to hear your argument for why he's what you think he is. Otherwise, stop wasting people's time.

-8 upvotesfresh--tendril1 year ago

I have no interest in you wanting to hear what I have to say. Unfortunately you'll have to go elsewhere for advice.

1 upvotesscissor_me_timbers001 year ago

Lol “very dark shit he says” gtfo cuck

12 upvotesebaymasochist1 year ago

Just apply game theory to finding new male friends. Obviously leave out the parts of trying to fuck them. Don't chase people. Give value. Preselection. Instead of going out with your friends to pick up girls, go out with your girlfriend to meet guys. lol. it sounds ridiculous but it's true. Maybe there's value in being friends with girls. not getting friend zoned, but actually having a friendship with a woman who you don't want to fuck. A friendship that you chose, not settled for.

Figure out what you want in a friend and go out and meet people.

7 upvotesAshyLarry271 year ago

GREAT write up. One thing I will say is this. Despite all the AWALT notions and "most guys are betas so we just end up alone because there is no loyalty anymore" is a bunch of nonsense. Loyalty to a T is nonsense and unrealistic thinking people tend to bunch with the idea of "being woke to TRP."

Let's be real for a second. It's 2018. Between how much faster society moves now, and the the amount of people and things we are exposed to now, it's difficult to have permanent relationships. This isn't your dad's era where there were no cell phones/internet and you had to remember someone's home phone number, limiting social interactions (or at least significant'y slowing them down).

Don't view this from a negative byproduct of being woke, you're only woke to the notion that you can grow and meet BETTER people.

2 upvotesianselfmade1 year ago

Exactly what i want to say/express but couldn't find the words. Thanks to this.

6 upvotesWoodleyWarrior851 year ago

Modern men spend too much time in low-yield social situations. They fear being alone and thus cling onto friendships and relationships that provide few real benefits.

Guys will cling onto a high school friend group full of losers or a "girlfriend" who only sticks around in return for free stuff because these relationships are comfortable and familiar.

If you want to improve, you do need to set out on your own. It will be lonely at times, because your relationships stop having the "clingy" factor. It takes some time to get used to this dynamic. Your new friends will be less based on irrelevant stuff like who was cool in 8th grade or who says funny stuff when they're stoned. These more mature friendships will be focused on trading value in the real world.

You definitely still have a social network as an alpha male, but your relationships tend to be based more on real stuff like business or worthwhile hobbies. When you're business partners with someone, they are literally making you money or helping you out in some other quantitative way. It's a relationship that objectively improves your life, rather than a sentimental attachment to some dude who happened to live in your town 20 years ago.

Finally, it's important to note that doing activities by yourself is completely OK. Some guys think they can't do any activity unless a "buddy" or a girlfriend comes along. They seem to be really afraid of being seen as "anti-social" or a "loner" or something. Fuck that. If I want to do something and no one's around, I just do it. Hiking, going out to eat, hitting the pool, etc. you don't always need a buddy for these things. Bring a book if you get bored.

7 upvotesRobalot19701 year ago

I think what happens is that no one has many real friends. Very few people value a true relationship where there is mutual respect between two individuals. Everyone is looking for what they can get out of a friendship. As you stop feeding these remoras they just go away. If status and shiny stuff is your thing there will always be friends that want to be associated with the shiny stuff, they don't care about you. This loneliness is just shedding dead weight, the problem is you were comfortable carrying around that dead weight.

45 upvotesMortalSisyphus1 year ago

It's sad you feel this way OP.

I've been married 15 years. I married a good woman. Traditional, humble, believes in gender roles, etc.

Perhaps I hit the lottery, or perhaps times have changed. I don't know. I haven't been in the game, and I'm thankful for that.

I spent a good deal of time on TRP, read all the articles, even wrote some influential posts. But at the end of the day I am happily married, and that's not what TRP is aiming at.

I haven't felt lonely in a long time, because I have someone I share my life with. We talk every night. Neither of us are particularly concerned with status, with wealth, with upward mobility... I still have standards as a man and fulfill those standards, but I'm not in constant fear about being as "alpha" as possible.

I'm sure I'm an outlier, and my wife is an outlier, and AWALT and all that stuff... Just wanted to add an alternative perspective.

If there's one bit of advice I would give, it is this: Leave the cities. Leave the coasts. Move to the midwest, where traditional, white, religious culture still exists. You won't find a good wife on Tinder, or in a bar in San Francisco. You may not find a good wife in Missoula either, but your chances are at least better. Much better.

16 upvotestbu9871 year ago

Naturally NAWALT doesnt exist but if you nurture a woman right and keep her away from western media and keeping company with thots then NAWALT will exist. It just is very difficult in these times for unicorns to exist because of how society is now but not impossible. You said shes traditional and women who follow past traditions are the more modest and faithful which is why i find generally a religious women grown up in a religious family is most likely to be a unicorn than a modern family.

4 upvotesRedwallAllratuRatbar1 year ago

I've met genetic slut (people pleaser) as basically her first boyfriend. Hell I had unicorn. Year after we broke up she is one of terriblest human beings, partly due how those "romantic and innocent" men made her crazy

21 upvotesPsychShrooms1 year ago

As someone born and raised in the Midwest. Fuck this place. Not only are there a very limited number of venues to meet women, the number of quality women are limited. They also expect to be wined and dined despite have accomplished little to nothing in life. Also, if a person doesn't believe in fairy tales, it's even more difficult. I'm just padding my resume and plan on moving on in the next 18 months. Have to be up at 5 to leave by 6 so I'll stop the shit post there.

28 upvotesThatOneDrunkUncle1 year ago

All women expect to be wined and dined, even though their resumes are garbage. It's funny, I thought the same way until I started to date women with advanced degrees, and they're still boring and vapid, just have brattier upbringing.

12 upvotesramaga1 year ago

All women expect to be wined and dined, even though their resumes are garbage.

So much this. I got stuck talking to a casual acquaintance the other day. She's an uneducated single mother with a shitty job who's overweight and balding in her early 30s. She's maybe a 2. And yet, she was giving me a laundry list of all the things she thought a man had to bring to the table before she'd consider dating him. She and women like her are delusional.

14 upvotesTheTransFantasy1 year ago

What if I'm black and non religious? Can I not get a wife?

1 upvotesadam_varg1 year ago

Do you wanna have women that is stereotypical black muslim ghetto women?

I am pretty sure OP meant values that are usually described as christian white people culture..

1 upvotesTheTransFantasy1 year ago

I mean my mom's Muslim lmao. But no I don't want Christian white people culture.

My dad was also ghetto.

1 upvotesadam_varg1 year ago

Yeah and my fiance is muslim too, technically i am too lol. But obviously she isn't of typical muslim values and opinions. And she had to leave home country because of arab and african muslim people who lives there.

I propably used my words poorly.

Western civilization values

1 upvotesTheTransFantasy1 year ago

Yeah just white Western values. Personally not what I'm into but whatever floats your boat

1 upvotesBeATrumpet1 year ago

Of course you can. But think of finding a wife as a happy accident or good fortune. Like he said, finding one is like winning a lottery

12 upvotes187oddfuture1 year ago

I've been to the midwest on a trip this summer and it's a shithole. Nothing but farmland and yokels. I hate liberals, communists, and feminists as much as the next guy, but I don't think I'll ever leave where I'm at. The coasts and the cities just have too many amenities. Stores, gyms, etc. I can get anything I want here and it's all pretty close together. The midwest had nothing. Couldn't find a supermarket, couldn't find an actual gym, couldn't find a person that wasn't morbidly obese, chugging cola, and talking with an exaggerated Southern accent. I gave them the benefit of the doubt, and they failed. No thanks to the hick life.

23 upvotesMortalSisyphus1 year ago

Couldn't find a supermarket, couldn't find an actual gym, couldn't find a person that wasn't morbidly obese, chugging cola, and talking with an exaggerated Southern accent.

You've got to be kidding me. Every city in the midwest has supermarkets and gyms. And the rate of obesity is lower than on the urban coasts or the south.

Then you talk about an exaggerated Southern accent... Are we talking about the same part of the country here?

3 upvotesAtheist_Utopia1 year ago

Dude, just move to Europe already. You'll have everything that is there in the US, but with much less fatties.

5 upvotesBeATrumpet1 year ago

Fuck Europe. Letting all those animals in from 3rd world countries no fucking thanks

6 upvotesAtheist_Utopia1 year ago

Wrong. It's nowhere near as bad as you think, because the media lets you think that way. Don't forget that you are using american media.

-1 upvotes • [deleted] • 1 year ago

Are you calling Missoula the midwest? Montana isn't the Midwest and missoula is the west coast of Montana

13 upvotesMortalSisyphus1 year ago

You are really nitpicking the semantics here... holy shit.

3 upvotes • [deleted] • 1 year ago

I'm not sure you've ever lived in Montana. Missoula is a liberal paradise, full of California transplants. Terrible example

-11 upvotesRevolution8851 year ago

Just LOL at this. This post reeks of being a beta male pleading his case before redpill that he married a nawalt. Just because you're not concerned with status, wealth, and mobility doesn't mean she isn't either. When 6'5 chad thundercock enters her life with a yacht and financial options she'll be gone. That is HARDWIRED into her genetics.

18 upvotescodeflack1 year ago

Don’t be an autist with TRP

You could learn a thing or two from OP.

21 upvotes • [deleted] • 1 year ago

He stated he’s happily married and has 15 years experience in a relationship with who he believes to be a NAWALT. You counter it with your opinion that this can’t be true because blah, blah, blah, AWALT. Clearly, he wants something better for the OP and uses his own life as an example. You’ve spun a fantasy that doesn’t apply in this situation. Get lost.

12 upvotes • [deleted] • 1 year ago

People like you are a disappointment to this community.

3 upvotesSkuggasveinn1 year ago

Í can relate to the "5 friend avarage" I have had stagnating friends in the past that are hard to let go.

3 upvotesxxWildbeast13xx1 year ago

So I’m in highschool and I find it pretty easy to make friends. I’m basically cool with everyone but I’m not really that popular so to speak. So will fully committing to TRP kill that aspect of my life or enhance it?

3 upvotesBurntYams1 year ago

Solid Post OP, I enjoyed this very much.

3 upvotes • [deleted] • 1 year ago

Harden the fuck up lol


1 upvotesr4nd011 year ago

I'm not a christian, like at ALL...but the book of Ecclesiastes is very relevant to this discussion. Basically the most alpha of alphas (King Solomon) talking about what he's learned from being on the top. an example:

16I said to myself, “Behold, I have magnified and increased wisdom more than all who were over Jerusalem before me; and my mind has observed a wealth of wisdom and knowledge.” 17And I set my mind to know wisdom and to know madness and folly; I realized that this also is striving after wind. 18Because in much wisdom there is much grief, and increasing knowledge results in increasing pain.

1 upvotesddcy18451 year ago

Ignorance is bliss. I've progressed a long way in my life, but there will always be a small part of me that wants to be back where I started.

3 upvotesDemiurge_Decline1 year ago

The top of the pyramid is pointy and lonely like one step from toppling over. The bottom is comfortable but your standing shoulder to shoulder with mediocracy.

4 upvotesmagx011 year ago

My life was going from one artificial dopamine hit to the next.

Since then, I've hooked up with several girls, had a couple of plates, and fucked a couple other as well.

Lol same thing different look.

7 upvotesvengefully_yours1 year ago

The path to become alpha.

No you have described the path to appear alpha. An alpha male doesn't have to be rich, tall, well dressed, well read, meditate every day, or any of that. Holy fuck, if this is what you kids think, we are truly fucked. This is how a beta or omega can look like a masculine accomplished male when he isn't.

Obviously you haven't been in the presence of alpha males, maybe some violence prone wanna guidos or something, but not a man who commands respect. You have an idea in your head of what you think it is, and not only is it wrong, apparently you have no fucking idea. People gravitate towards the alphas, they defer to them in decisions, and follow their lead. If nobody is following you, no friends or acquaintances/co-workers, then no matter what you look like, you're not an alpha.

Chad doesn't give a fuck. That's slightly different from a man who has better shit to do that takes priority, so a girl isn't the priority. Girls can't tell the difference between the drug addict who wants another hit far more than he gives a shit about the girl, and the man who isn't focused on getting pussy because he has more important things to do.

Girls are something you don't have, so they're your focus. This distinction is probably lost on you. You think looking like you have better shit to do, you will get laid. Girls might be unable to tell a man with a plan on his mission from a drug dealer (probably because they're both on a mission and the girl isn't in it), but they can sure as fuck see right through your wannabe alpha desperation cloaking attempt.

Being tall doesn't make you capable, dangerous, a competent leader, or an alpha, but it can sure as fuck give you an unearned sense of superiority. Having lots of muscle doesn't mean you possess those qualities either.

You get those attributes by achieving, struggling against obstacles, overcoming hardships, and actually doing difficult shit. Coding doesn't cut it. Combat sports are a great start, but you must become proficient in it and be challenged. You have to prove it to yourself, and you compete against everyone else to do that.

2 upvotesAcropoe1 year ago

self-acceptance. goal-driven, inner-confidence but you sound angry

1 upvotesZech4riah1 year ago

Girls might be unable to tell a man with a plan on his mission from a drug dealer (probably because they're both on a mission and the girl isn't in it), but they can sure as fuck see right through your wannabe alpha desperation cloaking attempt.

This thing comes up regularly and I keep wondering how true it is. Even tho I've reached an abundance with girls over the last 1,5 years I don't still automatically drown in (quality) pussy wherever I go. I still have to game girls, initiate proper txt game and use the general good guidelines - although most of these guidelines are already embedded to my behaviour pattern.

I think it's bullshit that girls can see through a good alpha cloak at least in the beginning. Maybe they see it after few weeks when the fake frame starts to collapse but then attraction and attachment usually overcomes the lacking frame and the girl stays around atleast for awhile.

2 upvotes • [deleted] • 1 year ago

The sad reality is most men don't want to be men nowadays.

I commend you for being selective with who you associate with though. I too am doing this and am becoming more lonely as a result.

To rectify this, I find spending time vicariously through listening to inspirational people speak about self-improvement on YouTube helps. Having Elon Musk, Bill Gates, Mark Cuban, Gary Veynerchuk and Warren Buffett in my bro squad has helped tremendously!

2 upvotesgbdoragnic1 year ago

You aren't connecting with people because you don't understand humanity ,tell them the truth about why you improved yourself, they will understand

2 upvotesAcropoe1 year ago

Gymcel here. Great post OP, you mentioned a few insights about the realities of woman, but also respecting them and having self-motivation. i found it really insightful but balanced. This post.. only 1 post but it helped me regain the red pill perspective.

I've hated woman too. angry at them, myself, the world.. some of it parental but i've gotten older and agree with the wisdom that the hatred towards them is usually a dysfunction within the man. so i just try to understand their nature and work on myself. I just find it impossible to trust them. i see myself expecting the worst whenever i get around to a relationship.

2 upvotesGilgs1 year ago

We all are born alone and die alone, it's what you do in the between that matters. Live your life to the fullest and all will fall into place. Good luck mate.

1 upvotesSkuggasveinn1 year ago

Í can relate to the "5 friend avarage" I have had stagnating friends in the past that are hard to let go.

1 upvotes • [deleted] • 1 year ago

Think shit tests or "hamsterimg" is a female only phenomenon? It isn't. If you weren't a natural alpha (and you likely weren't if you found this place) then you WILL have your friends try to claw you down when you start building on yourself. Even the most loyal and long term ones. If you haven't experienced this then you haven't improved enough.

Not every friend will do this. Some won't care, others will want to join in on the journey (these are less likely since it takes work), but about half will shit on you/resent you.

1 upvotesPlackOfCigarettes1 year ago

I ran out of addy so maybe I’ll read it later

1 upvotesjkingauthor1 year ago


But how about finding other alphas and forming a crew?

1 upvotesPR0JECT_XIII1 year ago

Great post OP!

I do personally believe frame shouldn't be comparied with stong materials (metaphorically) instead frame should be compared with Water.

Water bends and manuvers around it's environment, having the ability to take form when the circumstances change. Many great writings compare a powerful mind with water.

1 upvotesjohnhello1 year ago

thanks mate, enjoyed the read

1 upvotes • [deleted] • 1 year ago

I would add that part of non black and white thinking is that you can offer people advice to help pull them out of the dust without hurting yourself in the process. Self-improvement doesn't have to mean self-obsession. And the greatest self-improvement never does.

1 upvotesreddit_user_201 year ago


I can't understand how some of the items in the list can help me to be alpha?

  • Lift hard, eat right - I agree with eat right, but why do you need to lift hard? Do you really need excessive muscles to be productive? May be boxing will be more important.
  • Groom well, have a good sense of style - ok, you need to show your status and your outer look is one way to do that. Such things as being clean and neat are good but I have some concerns with style and clothes, because it can lead you to consumerism.
  • Talk to everyone, learn to be social with everyone - why should you be social with everyone. You probably should be social with your clients and people who you do business with.
1 upvotes187oddfuture1 year ago

For reference I traveled through Ohio, Indiana, Illinois, and Wisconsin. Chicago was just a shittier NYC. Ohio was a hick wasteland. Indiana was just farmland but the people there weren’t bad. Illinois was shot, Wisconsin is just a bunch of hicks with a weird accent.

3 upvotesxxWildbeast13xx1 year ago

Damn, where I live in Ohio (Pickerington, about 30 minutes away from downtown Columbus) it’s got some country aspects to it but I don’t know if I would consider it a hick wasteland. There’s definitely some hick people here but it’s in my opinion not that bad. There are a lot of liberals, feminazis, the whole spectrum. It’s a really diverse place. I guess it all just depends on where you go, maybe it’s because I’m in high school and haven’t seen the “real world”.

5 upvotes • [deleted] • 1 year ago

Minnesota here. The Twin Cities are OK at best, but nothing special. SWJ princess syndrome in the cities and husky country girls everywhere else. We're usually at the end of any major music tours and don't get much coming through here. Most of the population wants to just hunt and fish which is fine except it creates a very strong bubble and nobody cares what goes on outside of the state.

I'm finishing up grad school and looking to permanently leave the entire midwest.

3 upvotes187oddfuture1 year ago

That seems to be the story for pretty much every college grad from the midwest. Plus, depending on your degree, all of the high paying jobs are in coastal cities because that’s where the money’s at. Everybody lives in their own bubble, though. There’s no escaping that, it’s just natural.

1 upvotesscissor_me_timbers001 year ago

Fort Wayne Indiana has the worst strip clubs imaginable

-3 upvotescasemodz1 year ago

How to get me to not read past the first 2 sentences. A story by op

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