Closure Is Bullshit

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November 19, 2018

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Title Closure Is Bullshit
Author redpillschool
Upvotes 523
Comments 120
Date 19 November 2018 04:00 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit TheRedPill
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the red pill

[–]coin_pwr190 points191 points  (7 children) | Copy

If she wants to break up, walk away, don't look back, and keep your head up. Any woman that truly wants you, will not make things difficult. Life's too short to want to be with someone that's unsure about you.

[–]baeslick61 points62 points  (1 child) | Copy

Thank you for this, this is exactly what I needed to see right now, my ex ghosted me when she moved to NYC and has since been trying to contact me to "see how I'm doing", this wisdom is keeping my head straight and my heart focused on my mission and my goals in life, that person will be there when I'm ready

[–]xavine29 points30 points  (0 children) | Copy

Whatever you do, don't agree to be her emotional tampon while she's getting pumped and dumped in NYC

[–]krimpenrik14 points15 points  (0 children) | Copy

F*ck really needed this realisation right now with a girl i am chasing.

[–]Razkolol9 points10 points  (2 children) | Copy

Precisely, if she’s putting up too many obstacles in your way you should take the hint, « chase a check, never chase a bitch » Future, mask off, 2017 xD

[–]Boovs4life1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

"Fuck these bitches they gon' always be around young nigga just get your money." - Young Dolph

[–]ColdbloodedEdward2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

this comment should be stickied

[–]Endorsed ContributorRunawayGrain217 points218 points  (28 children) | Copy

Closure is usually just her trying to find a way to pin the failure of the relationship on you.

[–]tempolaca83 points84 points  (14 children) | Copy

Also because if the failure is your fault, she's free to fuck anyone of your social circle without any remorse or being called a slut.

[–][deleted]32 points33 points  (12 children) | Copy

You ran her right into his arms, because you're such an asshole.

"Relationships" are over when her social circles no longer care about hers. Once the social media likes go away she's ready for the next guy that will get all her friends chirping again. Let it go. It is what it is.

[–]tempolaca7 points8 points  (11 children) | Copy

Could you rephrase that? looks interesting but kind of confusing.

[–][deleted]28 points29 points  (10 children) | Copy

When she no longer feels like her social circles envy her or her relationship, she's ready to move on to the next thing that will get the spotlight back on her.

[–]tempolaca3 points4 points  (8 children) | Copy

Ah I see. Yes, that was exactly what happened to me. She still loved me, but her friends hated me for being all RP and stuff. It was just a matter of time until we break up.

Now her friends all love her new ultra-blue-pilled boyfriend.

[–][deleted]4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Once they get bored with him, she will too. Name of the game these days. She raved about you to her friends about how you were different and you were the one. Just like she did with the guy before you that you came in and "rescued" her from. Just like she'll do with the new guy. And just like she'll do with the one after him.

[–]dancingmaitake0 points1 point  (6 children) | Copy

Out of curiosity, call it a hypothetical mind experiment, what if I told you what you think isn't true?

From this pov, why do you think she ended the relationship? Did she ever explicitly give a reason why?

[–]tempolaca0 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy

Yes she told me a lot of bullshit reasons, like I threted her badly, that she didn't saw a future with me, etc.

Thing is, up until a month before she was madly in love, writing love letters and shit. My SMV decreased a lot in the latest 6 months probably because a lawsuit a former gf filed against me.

[–]dancingmaitake0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Why does a former gf have a lawsuit on you?

Does smv basically just translate into being a relatively worthwhile individual that can be in a healthy relationship?

[–]tempolaca0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Does smv basically just translate into being a relatively worthwhile individual that can be in a healthy relationship?

I don't think so. Rock stars have sky-high SMV but most cannot be in healthy relationships (however some can).

[–]dancingmaitake0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

I'm genuinely curious here btw. You admit to being RP. What does a healthy hetero relationship look like from a red pill perspective?

[–]tempolaca0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

I'm new to RP and this was my first LTR after being RP.

Never in my life has a girlfriend so inlove with me. I applied dread and fucked other girls, this translated to much better sex with her because fucking other girls (once in a while) means I never got bored of her.

It was not a healthy relationship. She was too inlove and I was too aloof. When she left, I got oneitis. And yes, she was quite crazy and never had a relationship more than a year, so maybe I handled it badly, but likely she was also crazy.

[–]recon_johnny4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

The failure is always your fault.

[–]JerryLawlerPigFace35 points36 points  (8 children) | Copy

I saw my best friends GF do this to him after she cheated on him, and he proceeded to break up with her.

Her - “I only kissed him, so what, you’re willing throw 2 years down the drain over that?”

Somehow, her cheating on my friend became his fault.

[–]TheTrenTrannyTrain10 points11 points  (1 child) | Copy

Solipsism: "I don't feel it was wrong for me to cheat on my boyfriend and throw away 2 years of relationship, cause feelz over realz, therefore I'm right and you're wrong.".

[–]DigitalDragonSlayer0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Lol. Painfully common & true.

[–]1ozaku77 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

You truly expect that she would give up so easily? She will use everything in her arsenal and so should you. That's how humans are wired.

[–]MarcosDomingues4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

SHE was the one willing to throw 2 years down the drain, not him lol

[–]WiseMonkeyGoodMonkey1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Which is what OP is referring to. Don't have the ending conversation with her. Closer, like weddings, is entirely for her. For her to move on. As a man you get next to nothing out of the deal. Ghost. Block her on your phone and your social media. Game over. Move on.

[–]p3n1x0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

But, it was his fault.

He did do something to become weak to her. Instead seeing the signs and cutting loose earlier on, he stayed and allowed himself to get burned. Lack of abundance and outcome dependent.

Stop being "shocked" that the game isn't simple.

[–]JerryLawlerPigFace2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I agree with you.

He’s a major beta and I truly cannot blame her for being a woman and doing woman things.

I’m not saying I like the female nature but it is what it is. He had many opportunities to walk, or even stand up for himself during the relationship. He didn’t.

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[–]2Overkillengine5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

I question if that's such a great idea anymore.

It never was, some people were just getting off on acting like women by ignoring potential consequences. Suspend one social contract and the others tumble down eventually as well- like the ones where men don't kill competitors as a way to mate guard. Kind of hard to AMOG a load of buckshot to the face.

[–]thewrecker88 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

This is the whole truth right here.

[–]2Overkillengine1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

And remember that she has done nothing to deserve making that easier to do.

The only thing she deserves is silence.

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[–]Vaerr24 points25 points  (2 children) | Copy

It's far too easy to slip back into chasing a girl who wants nothing to do with you. Contacting her will only serve to make you weaker. 99% of the time you'll learn she wasn't missing you, and now you've broken down the wall of 3 months no contact. Which makes it harder for you to go no contact with other women in the future and let's her have the satisfaction of knowing you're unable to move on after 3 months. Stay strong, move forward.

[–]JerryLawlerPigFace54 points55 points  (1 child) | Copy

It’s a very hard portion of the pill to swallow but one of the most essential. To realize that after you break up, she’s not looking out her window thinking of you, she’s not up at night in her bed missing you, she’s not sitting around listening to songs that remind her of you. That’s all in your head. It’s your projection.

She’s off sucking cocks, love bombing a new guy just like she did to you. Not giving a single thought towards your existence.

[–]1ozaku78 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

Too obsessed about the alpha beta dynamic instead of becoming a man a woman desires.

[–]DeontologicalSanders71 points72 points  (2 children) | Copy

Reading this makes me cringe at myself.

There have been many times in my life where a woman contacted me after a break-up for "closure", and I responded with anger, or sadness, or explanation, or trying to win her back.

She's only ever there for herself. To deflect the blame for the break-up and failure of the relationship off of herself, and onto you. She doesn't give a shit about you anymore; if she did, she would still be fucking you.

The only good response is no response. Anything else validates her. Anything else shows that you're still invested.

Walk the fuck away.

[–]_lifesgood_4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yup, did the same thing. It’s amazing how much girls victimized themselves and make up stories to fit the narrative the media/society can give them. Not saying all girls are like this but it’s unbearabley frustrating to deal with a girl who wants to be treated like a princess in the movies. Waste of time.

[–]Z3roCool0071 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Fuck man i did too, broke up with my ex a month and a bit ago, decided to text her a week after and nothing came of it, then she text me wanting to help because she knew i was having major issues with other things and wanted to help, then she flipped the whole thing and made herself the victim when i got pissed, luckily i kept my composure and only showed that i was slightly pissed and ended the convorsation with her angrily telling me to choke on shit, I just told her that i hope she has a nice life, afterwards i removed myself completely from contact with her, She's text me twice since and i've given short answers or none at all, havent talked in weeks so hopefully its over.

[–]MrCongeniality136 points37 points  (1 child) | Copy

You can fail in a lot of ways and end up in a miserable LTR, but a woman won't actually leave you if she thinks you will immediately forget about her. Feeling replaceable is an existential crises for them. Always project that you are totally fine with ending any relationship that is no longer working for either person for whatever reason.

[–]1ozaku722 points23 points  (0 children) | Copy

Note that it isn't about "I can get any pussy out there" but rather that you don't accept any bad behaviour or treatment, because you would rather be alone. This is the key because it isn't about something you will have to reach after the break up, it is something you reach the very moment you broke up.

[–]Endorsed Contributormallardcove52 points53 points  (27 children) | Copy

I think many of us are guilty, even post taking the red pill, myself included, of trying to negotiate and reason and argue with a girl after she breaks it off with you.

Here is the thing. When a girl decides to break it off with you, there is a 99.9% chance that she has made up her mind for good and nothing will change her mind. She has already desexualized you and moved on. She is no longer attracted. No force in the world will get her back with you. You can go lift, gain 50 pounds of pure muscle and look like a greek god giga chad and she still won't see you "that way". Period.

The problem is, most of you faggots who read this will think you are apart of that 0.1% in which she does change her mind because you are stricken with oneitis. You aren't going to listen to me and you won't accept the fact you have a better chance of winning the lottery. But if you do want to reason with her, argue with her, negotiate with her, try to win her back after she breaks it off, give it at least 72 hours until you say ANYTHING to her. Once she tells you its over in some form or fashion, go silent. At the very most, say "OK" and act like you have moved on as well. Then, after 72 hours have passed, and you want to go for that slim chance of being able to reason your way back in, go ahead, but just realize you have astronomical odds.

The 72 hour rule isn't so much in that it will raise your odds, its that when a girl breaks it off with you, she wants to see you melt down. She wants to see you be emotionally affected and disraught. That way she gets her closure, seeing you act a total fool, and then she can tell herself "See? I made the right choice. Look at this pathetic weak whiny bitch".

By going dead silent after she breaks it off, she doesn't get that closure and satisfaction. It will drive her nuts. By going silent it makes you look like you gave no fucks and put no value on her. This will drive her mad and I guarantee she will try to keep reaching out to you to get that closure. That's why silence is the best weapon here, not negotiating and reasoning. If you do choose to engage with her if she reaches back out to you after you go silent on her, be very stoic. Act like you aren't affected at all and she poses no value for you. Then you have leverage.

Again I repeat - the 72 hour rule IS NOT A POWER PLAY TO TRY AND WIN HER BACK. Its there to not give her the satisfaction of closure.

[–]reluctantly_red6 points7 points  (1 child) | Copy

there is a 99.9% chance that she has made up her mind for good and nothing will change her mind.

In the short and medium term this is very true. In the long run a significant percentage try to come back. I'm 54 years old and a couple of months ago my high school GF contacted me to try to get back together telling me she'd made a mistake breaking up with me way back in 1981. I agreed we had some good times and then just brushed her off (the fact she hasn't aged well made this easy).

[–]funnybrunny10 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy

I do agree with what you're mostly saying. But, women tend to want what they think they can control/change or possibly what they believe have forgotten about them (an ex or w/ex).

So, when you do work out, live your life and grown physically and mentally.....some do come back because they're surprised that you made something of YOURSELF W/O THEIR HELP. But when that happens, you're just on a higher level where you no longer care for them and have better things to do with your life.

[–]red_philosopher2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Learned this first hand this last week. I'll post about it soon. Can't upvote this enough.

[–]WiseMonkeyGoodMonkey2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

will think you are apart of that 0.1% in which she does change her mind

Everyone wants to be the exception. By definition most of us are not. imo this is easy. If you start thinking you are the exception - despite the statistical improbability - then the fallback is "hope for the best, prepare for the worst".

[–]Fulp_Piction5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

You're in with a better chance of 'winning' her back by being stoic and moving on than you are by initiating contact.

[–]acb123LickMyD0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

I disagree, and I feel like this gives false hope to guys. The only way this has a change of working is if she is dumping you for cheating on her.

In any other case it's best to move on without looking back.

[–][deleted] -2 points-1 points  (17 children) | Copy

You can go lift, gain 50 pounds of pure muscle and look like a greek god giga chad and she still won't see you "that way". Period.

What makes you say that? What proof you got?

[–]Endorsed Contributormallardcove9 points10 points  (16 children) | Copy

That's how women work. Once they disqualify you sexually they will never see you in a sexual manner ever again.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (14 children) | Copy

And what about the women you decide to get back with the ex?

Maybe they see him with a hot new girlfriend.

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[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (10 children) | Copy

Why the woman and not the man, in terms of finding a better option?

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[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (7 children) | Copy

See, by that logic, if the ex moves up in the smp, then his ex would wanna get back with him. Which makes sense.

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[–]p3n1x5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

less attractive to a woman than a man they dumped.

Insecure and less mature women "fake dump" all the time. Trying to gain control and power.

she is too busy fucking hotter dudes. They never even care to look back.

They look back all the fucking time. What you choose to do with it is a whole different story.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

I mean the only evidence for my claim is the shit I read on reddit here and the stuff I see happen to some of my friends. It's really difficult to make an informed, empirical argument on this.

[–]p3n1x0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

They switch exclusively to the highest they can get.

This is missing so much, and is very linear. First, the "new guy" does not mean he is an upgrade.

A woman will lie to themselves when going through an Alpha divorce.

Yes, they do fuck lower, they fool themselves. "Give a guy a chance". Unless that new guy actually out does what you had to offer, she will rubberband back over and over and over.

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[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Idk how u stand behind these words with such conviction with basically 0 proof.

NOT SAYING to get ripped to get back to one’s ex, just pointing out your stance and how unempirical it sounds.

[–]1ozaku7-2 points-1 points  (0 children) | Copy

That 99.9% Is because she suffered already for months from your sorry ass or the majority of the relationship.

Only jump ship if you are absolutely sure it's a sinking wreck.

[–]vullnet12327 points28 points  (14 children) | Copy

My ex broke up with me because she "rushed into a relationship and wants to be alone" AKA " I want go go out with other guys without worrying about you". I tried asking a bit when she texted and dumped me, but there was no point because I could tell she was just giving me BS answers.

[–]2virusofthemind15 points16 points  (13 children) | Copy

Dumping by text is pretty low behaviour. If it was an LTR your best response is "Is it because I told your friend you were getting too fat?" and then hard next.

[–]Senior Endorsed ContributorVasiliyZaitzev39 points40 points  (7 children) | Copy

Sounds too butthurt.

My (previous-there’s a new girl in that slot now) OLTR2 broke up with me via email, so I hit reply and wrote: ”Clearly you sent this to me by mistake.”

A few minutes later I got a text back from her best friend who I also knew. It read along the lines of how ballsy a response that was plus ”She is sooooo pissed at you right now. And the fact that I’m sitting next to her laughing my ass off is probably not helping!”

Wherever she is and whatever she’s doing I hope she’s OK but beyond that I don’t need to know.

[–]DeontologicalSanders5 points6 points  (4 children) | Copy

Maybe I'm missing something here, but can someone explain this response to me like I'm 5? I honestly don't get how this is ballsy.

[–]DiscipleBrown5 points6 points  (3 children) | Copy

She probably wanted him to give her some sort of validation, like trying to win her over or being upset. That response made a joke of her breaking up with him and demonstrated Class B DGAF behavior.

[–]DeontologicalSanders5 points6 points  (2 children) | Copy

Idk it seems to me that most women would think a guy saying "clearly you sent this to me by mistake" was being genuinely incredulous, like he couldn't believe it was happening. Especially over email with no tone or vocal inflection. The best response is none at all. The second best is "ok". I don't get at all how this would have the desired effect.

[–]1dongpal1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

that was my thought as well. "this must be a mistake, you would never break up with me...I need you"

[–]BusterVadge1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I didn't take it that way at all. By turning the whole thing into a joke he took IDGAF to another level and made it look like he thought her breaking up with him funny in a way.

[–]vullnet1230 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Yea I didn't really say anything too butthurt to her.

[–]vullnet1234 points5 points  (4 children) | Copy

Yea its crazy, she legit didnt care at all basically. Like our entire relationship didnt happen. She is non-confrontational and most of our arguments were through text because she would rarely want to do them in person.

[–]ZephyrBluu10 points11 points  (1 child) | Copy

All women are non-confrontational. They hate arguing and they also suck dick at it.

[–]vullnet1234 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Instead of talking about sex in person she wanted me to text her about it. When I would ask anything about it she wouldn't answer unless I texted her.

[–]1ozaku74 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

Weren't you a bit blind maybe? Usually you can see when a girl doesn't give a shit about her man. It's just that weak men just hamster it away and look the other way to not see the ugly truth.

[–]vullnet1231 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Nah I saw it, just was in denial

[–]BacardiRazz138 points39 points  (8 children) | Copy

My oneitis hit me with the "i really like you.... just not THAT way yet" and bluepill me thought i still had a chance lol. Great reminder

[–]Modredpillschool[S] 24 points25 points  (4 children) | Copy

Keyword... "YET"

[–]BacardiRazz121 points22 points  (3 children) | Copy

I kept telling myself "she said 'yet' bro, dont give up yet" and it fucked with my head for a while

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[–]BacardiRazz13 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

My best bet is hardnexting this chick but i cant rly control my emotions sometimes.. it sucks

[–]red_philosopher2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

It's soft next, work on yourself, and improve. No need to worry.

[–]TheTrenTrannyTrain7 points8 points  (1 child) | Copy

Yet...until she hits the wall.

[–]ECoast_Man1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I think the 'yet' there is because she likes the idea of him still trying for and/or orbiting. She deliberately wrote that to fuck with his head.

[–]1ozaku72 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Well that sounds like cancer.

[–]Senior ContributorMentORPHEUS17 points18 points  (1 child) | Copy

"Closure" in a therapy context is usually the therapist trying to make 1-2 more paying appointments past the point the patient feels they have "gone sane" and don't need the therapist any more.

In a relationship context, it's usually a manifestation of seller's remorse. They initiated a breakup, or misbehaved badly enough to earn being broken up with. Now they want to stir the pot as it goes cold. As above, they're trying to collect more value from you in their own interest, not yours. Don't do it! Nothing good comes from these discussions.

Be decisive about moving on with your own life. Be clear but concise about why the relationship is ending, then let her go work through her own "closure."

All of this is presuming you didn't ghost the person unprovoked. In that case, it can mess with a person, woman more so than man, and it legitimately does leave the person hanging and in need of emotional closure. Have the balls to break up decisively, that's all the closure work you "owe" someone you're breaking up with.

[–]Fulp_Piction0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

True - if there isn't a straightforward answer to "whats in it for me?" then you usually shouldn't do it.

[–]ReefaShark37 points38 points  (2 children) | Copy

Great succinct post. Feed ‘em scraps.

[–]kril8917 points18 points  (0 children) | Copy

Don't feed them anything at all. Let them stew over the fact you might be fucking all these bitches including all of her friends.

[–]Monsieur_Valjean10 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy

Nay. Let them starve.

[–]funnybrunny14 points15 points  (0 children) | Copy

This is gold. In the times I've wanted closure, it never helped me. Just made me belittle myself.

You gotta break the mold and remember that YOU are always the prize, fellas. Remember that. No matter how cliché that may seem.

[–]MR379011 points12 points  (0 children) | Copy

I pulled this shit thought i needed to say goodbye in person. It was dumb better of just letting them walk.

[–]bcool878 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yep, a painful lesson I learned when I first fell hard in college. Hit her up for a month periodically til she finally agreed to meet me at the cafe for closure. Her friend was nearby too, as an out. Meanwhile, the wknd she broke up with me she was already out partying and grinding on new dudes. I was devastated by how quickly she just moved on. I'm so far removed from that guy now, but I'll never forget the lesson I learned. There are guys my age and older who still haven't internalized this. Closure is when you say it is. Doesn't mean it won't hurt depending on the level of investment/length of relationship, but turn around and chose to move forward. Asking "why" is fruitless. Use your own analytical skills to learn from it and apply it next time. That's how you truly learn anyway.

[–]PurpleSweetz7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

Thanks. Will use this when my relationship inevitable comes to its end. She's not mine, it's just my turn.

[–]Aboves4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Very spot on piece. I’m guilty of this shit first hand and the way he laid out how shell give a bullshit reason was literally copy and pasted of how she responded towards me. I’m so glad I have the tools needed to respond to scenarios like this in the future, because I made myself a grade A jackass by being a “oh what if i fixed this” and “where did i go wrong” brown nosing little bitch.

[–]TheTrenTrannyTrain13 points14 points  (8 children) | Copy

Women want to see you cry and beg to win her back, so she can finally see what a beta faggot you really are to justify her decision of dumping you. Don't give her that satisfaction and she will come back in no time

Story time: met this girl in Feb, we banged a few times and we had great connection and in May she suddenly ghosted me; saw 2 of my texts but didn't reply. I was hurt but didn't send more text her way, I just grieved on my own time and move onto other girls. Suddenly she texted me out of the blue in July wanting to meet. Have been banging her until last month. Point is if you go silent and don't let her win, you will always have the upper hand.

[–]1dongpal3 points4 points  (7 children) | Copy

how could you seriously meet up with her again after she did that to you? total disrespect from her side

[–]TheTrenTrannyTrain9 points10 points  (6 children) | Copy

There are 2 different camps of thought on TRP:

1) if she's just a plate/FWB, she's free to come and go as long as she isn't causing drama, cause women are fickle.

2) plate/FWB/LTR, if she shows any disrespect she's gone, hard next, no question asked.

I'm more in camp 1, as in as long as the sex is there and I enjoy her company, I'll let her come back. Of course now LTR is out of the question, or she has to work extra hard for it.

[–]1dongpal1 point2 points  (5 children) | Copy

you know shes gonna emotional manipulate you? you just missed the most important camp of thought .

[–]p3n1x0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

you know shes gonna emotional manipulate you?

Not if you know it. Just don't buy what she is selling, let her have her temper tantrums on her own time.

[–]1dongpal0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

there is no way you can keep your emotions in check by knowing your ex-LTR sleeps with other guys and you just fuck her.

[–]p3n1x0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

I guess its perspective, I have an LTR misstress.

I guess some guys around here attach "in love" to LTR? Why do you only have one girl in the first place? Where is that outcome strength and abundance? I'm not sure how you can put all men in one basket with the emotional weaknesses.

You think fuck buddies only fuck one person? Any woman can be downgraded, but she may never rise again.

[–]1dongpal1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

fuck buddies are fine, but if one of them is one of your ex-LTR, i doubt you can do it because the more time you spend with her the more likely you invested in her emotionally. this would be real mind fuck for me.

[–]p3n1x0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

True, that is the other side. I didn't think about how strong the emotional bank account could be.

Having other women in your life definitely makes the transition or loss much easier.

[–]nicksnice2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

this is great material, solid reminders like this are why im still subbed here. every now and then you need a reality check.

[–]astrogatorjones2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

I was in a relationship for 6 years. Started out full beta and got maybe a bit better in the first 5 years. Found TRP and started changing. She can’t handle being around a secure person and breaks up.

The thing is when she broke up I was ready. I was reading the books and fully commited to becoming a better person, so the only thing I asked her was “are you sure this is what you want?”. She said yes and I absolutely didn’t look back.

Now is three months later and she still sends me whatsapp messages at 2am about how much she misses me. But my life has improved so much it doesn’t even bother me anymore, plus I’ve got two girls I can certainly have sex with any day I feel like it.

The ex called me and texted so many time being super nice and friendly trying to convince me to meet her to talk trough thing. Every damn time after I politely didn’t agree she showed her true colors and attacked me in some way. What is more likely: she wants to have an actual civilized talk to end things well or she is trying to somehow convince herself that I suck and she didn’t loose out? Fuck this shit.

[–]MadChestHairYuKnight1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

I have a serious question.

I fucked up in a relationship around four months ago with a girl I really liked, it was a good relationship.

It was my mistake.I have realised that now, I didn't previously.

Should I talk to her and tell her that I was the one who fucked up, or not?

[–]UnfriendlySoloutions18 points19 points  (1 child) | Copy

No just move on, life is.too short for that.

[–]U-940 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Things are much better if you're 100% disinterested. My ex drunk texted me for about 8 months before she finally moved on. Never cared. Never replied other than unemotional replies, as flat as possible. What really helped is that I always not that into her. She was hot and would make a room of dudes jealous but I wasn't sick-to-your-stomach into her as I was with past women. Which put me at a disadvantage. I realized just find a girl who is hot that's into you and just 'put up with that' for a period of time.

You know that scene in Robo Cop where he saves the woman from getting raped and she hysterically tries to hug him afterwards? That was me after breaking up.

[–]Skyhawk_And_Skyhead0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

"Ok, theres a box near my door, throw my hoodie in there"

[–] points points | Copy

[permanently deleted]

[–]bimusiek1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

You need to connect through USA (use some VPN) then it works. I had the same issue and VPN helped.

[–]_be_happy_-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Same here, looks like is down?

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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